The Debate

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Ok, this is just getting creepy now!!

Last night Eric and I went on our first Brick workout and look what we came across…

Harold’s brother!

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Why have I not noticed these before?! Is my town just really creepy or something? lol.

We went on a beautiful 5 mile sunset bike ride! Half on the roads and half on the trails.

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My partner in crime…

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It was a great first leg of the workout!

  • Distance: 4.98 miles
  • Time: 35:27 mins
  • Avg speed: 8.4 mph
  • Max Speed: 15.9 mph
  • Ascent (total climb): 380 feet

Eric pointed out a very hardcore looking grease mark on my leg when we were finished.

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Just a battle wound… ;)

And then the unthinkable happened…

I got my man to run!!!!!!

Doesn’t his face scream thrilled? :mrgreen:

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Let me put this into context for you a little so you can understand my excitement for him to be running.

Eric has told me numerous times that he will NEVER RUN and he will never start running with me. I think in the 10 years we have been together we have been on 2 runs together total (and I’m not quite sure how those 2 runs ever happened, I think I dreamed them up…) I used to beg him to go running with me and I think that pushed him away even more.

I said to Eric at the beginning of this run- ‘You call the shots. If you want to stop, just let me know.’

We started running, and get this, he blew me out of the water! (err…off the road?)

I had such a hard time keeping up with him! Remember- his long, gazelle-like legs (he is 6 foot 2!) Well, those gazelle legs are fast let me tell you. He had to slow down for ME! It was a hoot!

He was like, ‘Wow I feel like I have to take such short strides.’ Normally a piece of me would have died inside with that comment, but I put my ego aside because I was just so thrilled that he was running beside me. ;)

He ran 2.5 k/1.55 m virtually effortlessly. We clocked in at 14:29 minutes. I said, ‘Wow I think I am more out of breath than you are.’ And he said, ‘Bigger lungs’ :mrgreen: Not only is he a natural, but he’s also modest!

The run:

Distance: 2.5k/1.55 miles

Time: 14:29 mins

Pace: 9:21 min/mile

Ascent: 189 feet

My motto is to kill em with kindness. I think one of the keys to encouraging people to workout is to flood them with praise and compliments. By the end of the run, I think Eric was feeling really proud and he maybe started to realize that he can do this…try-a-tri after all?

The Try-a-tri debate:

Now we are also having a little debate about our try-a-tri!

I have told Eric from the beginning that I want to do the try-a-tri by his side the entire event. I want to swim beside him, I want to bike with him, and I want to hold his hand crossing the finish line (I’m a sap like that).

However, my husband wants me to ‘go on ahead’ and do my absolute best, even if this means leaving him behind along the way. He doesn’t want to hold me back, he said.

We are having this little debate! I still would like to be by his side. I think it would make the experience more special, and to be quite honest, I don’t think he will be holding me back at all! I think he is capable of much more than he gives himself credit for, and if anything, I might have a hard time keeping up with him!

My questions to you tonight- What would you do in our situation? Have you ever trained for and competed in a race with a friend, family member, or significant other? Did you stick together or part ways?

Updates:

Ta-ta mes amies! :) Going to get back to work. Eric and I are off for a late-night swim at 9pm tonight…hopefully I can sleep! See you for a late-night post…might be a 1,000 words, not sure yet. :)

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{ 80 comments… read them below or add one }

caitlin May 5, 2010

I’ve written about running with friends before, but I think you should do the tri alone. You will probably have separate starts for the swim (men and women) and it will be cumbersome to catch up to him in transition….

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Nancy May 5, 2010

The tri that she’s doing, my boyfriend actually does. It’s done by age group! :)

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Nancy May 5, 2010

Now I’m questioning myself after writing that comment. I just asked the Boyf what he remembered for that race and he says: ” they always start in waves for the most part…I can’t remember if they differentiate male and female when they assign waves or not – they may”

We’ll see in June I guess!! :)

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Julie @savvyeats May 5, 2010

Maybe you need to do 2 try-a-tris… one alone, one together! :)

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Brittany May 5, 2010

I’ve done it both ways, but I think that sometimes it’s more special and meaningful if you stick together the whole way – especially if that’s what you had planned initially.

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Brittany May 5, 2010

Although, I was only talking about running races. Caitlin brings up a good point- you might not be able to stick together in a Tri as well as you would be able to in a running race.

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Jenny May 5, 2010

LOL, i love that tree! If it were up ot me, I’d do the tri alone because then you can work off your own speeds & such!

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Lori May 5, 2010

it is hard on the swim to stick together

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Steph May 5, 2010

I raced with friends last year and we all ran our own race. My boyfriend trained with me but he chose to do a longer distance. You’re still going through the experience together but I’d honestly say to go at your pace. It’s fun when you see each other (pass each other??) on the course. It’s going to be really hard to keep track of one another in the water, trust me. And when you’re biking you have to be careful that you’re not in the drafting zone so you can’t be side-by-side or too close in front or behind anyways. You’ll still enjoy it just as much even if you aren’t hand-in-hand!

Caitlin is also right about the start; there is normally a staggered start for men, women and the various age brackets so you probably won’t begin the race together anyways.

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Nancy May 5, 2010

I’m the same as you! I want to run a race, or do a du and have my boyfriend by my side. But he can’t do any races leisurely, which causes me not to do any – at all! It makes me sad :(

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Keri@kerirunsslow May 5, 2010

My fiance and I run the same races, but he is a lot faster than me… he’s 6’2 also! We never run the race together, but he’s always waiting for me right by the finish to cheer me on the last 100 yards, which is really nice! Honestly, it would never even occur to me to run the race with him… we train together, but the point of a race is for me to do the best I can, and since my best is different than his best, we don’t run together during the race.

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Nikki T May 5, 2010

In March I signed up for my first 10km race with my Mom-In-Law. We’ve been running together for about a year now and generally she is a bit faster than me (I like to think it’s her longer legs and maybe bigger lungs??!), however on this particular day she wasn’t feelin’ it as usual…I fully expected that she’d have to slow down or walk during the 10k to stick with me, but it ended up being the opposite. I didn’t go on ahead when she told me to though…it was our first 10km race and we were in it together!!
I’m not sure if I would have come in with a better time if I would have gone ahead, but I figured…there’s always next time! (We both PR’ed anyway, since it was our first race of this distance!)

Tough decision!!
Whatever you decide, I’m sure you will have a blast and be so proud of each other in the end!

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Megan@EatScrapRun May 5, 2010

My husband and I do a lot of running races and triathlons together, and we always go at our own pace. It’s still nice to know you are at the race together, and to see each other after the race, even if you didn’t actually complete the whole event together.

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Mary May 5, 2010

I just ran a half marathon with my boyfriend. We trained together and we ran and held hands crossing the finish line. He’s definitely by far faster than me and in better shape than I am but I was just so thrilled to be popping his half marathon cherry (it was his first and my third) that I didn’t care and set my ego aside for a while. There was one point in which we separated because he had to go to the bathroom that was it though. :)

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Katie@ Two Lives, One Lifestyle May 5, 2010

Mu uncle makes little faces just like that to put on trees in the woods by the family cabin… but I don’t think he’s been in Canada anytime recently! You guys are totally rocking the training :D!!

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Grace aka Triathlonbabe May 5, 2010

Way to go on getting Eric to show his stuff! My DH on the other hand says, “He caved…I won’t”….LOL! Men…

In running, yes, you can stick together and yes, I have stuck with a friend through and through till the end. In fact, at my last half marathon last Nov., one of my most unmemorable races because I was on the verge of major surgery in Dec. and was in a lot of pain but still did the race. One of my bestest buds stuck with me the entire 13.1 miles, even though she normally blows me out of the water and we usually meet at the end.

As for a triathlon, I have to say from experience, it is quite hard to keep up with another person. I tried with a friend of mine, that I was motivating her through her first tri. I ended having to go ahead and met her at the end. Here’s the deal, you or Eric might be faster than the other in one of the disciplines, especially in swimming and yes, normally you will be put in a different wave in the swim, unless the waves go by times only and then you can put yourselves in the same time wave category and swim side by side. And technically, the swim is where the issue might be more so than the bike and the run. Some races put the waves in gender categories along with times. Like both of my open water races were gender categorized and by times within the gender. I was glad too, not to scare you, because in my first open water, even though the men came after us, I still got barrelled over by a large man and literally shoved under water. Eeek!

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Jessica @ How Sweet May 5, 2010

I vote for doing it at your own pace – which means most likely alone, tho it could be great if you stayed together!

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Sarah for Real May 5, 2010

I think that you should use the same strategy you mentioned with the running and “let him call the shots.” Meaning, do it separately.

It’s his first event so whatever takes the pressure off. Save your “sappy hand-holding” until he gets his “sea legs” and you do another event. Lol, I love that btw, too cute!

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Abby May 5, 2010

Seems like this has been said already, but it might make sense for you guys to start together and see how it goes. The swim start can be really chaotic, making it hard to stick with a partner. So, if you get out of the water and you’re still together, I say go for it – but have it in your mind that you will be doing the race separately, just in case.

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Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers May 5, 2010

it’s totally your call… but i just have to say that crossing the finish line at my first half marathon w/ my boyfriend by my side (who could have easily run faster) meant the world to me. :)

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Anne May 5, 2010

When i’m feeling inferior to someone (ability wise) the last thing i want to do is hold them back. even if im not really going to be or if they dont see it that way. it can take away from the experience if i’m thinking about that rather than what i’m doing. its a personality thing though. when im doing it or having those thoughts, i know i’m being silly, but still, i can’t shake it. id rather the person just do their their thing and celebrate with me at the end. that’s the competative spirit in me though:)

have fun either way! i love reading the updates!

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Michelle May 5, 2010

i agree with this too! I hate feeling like the other person is being held back even if they say they don’t care.

however I know that when my (much faster) husband runs with me I am way more motivated, and run faster too!

You will have fun either way :)

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Tami May 5, 2010

do your own thing.

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Kelly B May 5, 2010

My boyfriend has been running races for years and convinced me to run a 5k with him this year. It was my first race ever and he stuck by me the whole time, even though he is so much faster than me. He kept me motivated, and even ran with me on his back for a bit when I rolled my ankle (that’s how our photo was taken!) and we crossed the finish holding hands. Since it’s your first tri I can see how you’d want to stay with him, but it seems like it might be hard…maybe after the tri you can convince him to do a 5k with you…?

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Meg @ Be Fit Be Full May 5, 2010

My husband and I did our first Sprint Tri together last summer and I began the swimming portion (in a pool) a few minutes before him. But he is not a very good swimmer (I swam for 10 years), so I was ahead of him the whole time until the last mile in our run. Once he caught me I told him to go on ahead, and he sad “no, let’s finish together!” Sweet, huh?
Well get this – another guy our age came running past us a few yards from the finish line and my husband’s competitiveness got the best of him and he took off without me! HA! I forgave him though :)

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Rachel @ Suburban Yogini May 5, 2010

Ha ha ha! Eric reminds me of my brother. Once when I was training for a 10k my brother decided to come on a run with me. He never runs. He barely moves to be honest. He just stays enviably thin on a diet of chips.

He blew me off the running track. Ran 7k wihout raising a sweat or stopping talking and then lit a cigarette. I kid you not.

I think it’s true that boys do have much bigger lungs.

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Kirsten May 5, 2010

I think you should each do your own race. When my boyfriend and I ran a half marathon together we ran side by side for around half of it, but in the last half we each ran our own race.

If you do decide to do it together then I think you should make a pact/decision about what you would do if one of you has to rest, etc.

Just my thought!

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Chelsea May 5, 2010

My boyfriend and I signed up to do a half-marathon on May 22nd. It will be my first race ever (he used be a sprinter in high school), and our first race together. It looked like everything was going well (we kept the same pace on training runs), and then bam! I got injured. Luckily, the doctor says my injuries are not enough to keep me from running (or from running my half-marathon in a couple weeks), but they are enough that he is telling me to cut down on training for the next couple weeks, and to not run when it is painful. Now I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to hold my boyfriend back (because I am sure I will be running a lot slower than planned in my half-marathon), but I want to finish our first race together. So we’ll see what happens…

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Kristy May 5, 2010

Are these tears in my eyes?

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Therese May 5, 2010

OMG! I would DIE if my boyfriend started running! He ran with me once and has never even given the slightest indication of EVER running again. I don’t press it but I would LOVE it!

I say, if you can actually do it with him (I’ve never done a tri so I don’t know how they work), go for it. It’s the first time out and something you guys will remember forever. My best friend ran her first marathon with her boyfriend, they ran together (it was his 11th) and the finished hand in hand and I know it was a very special race for the both of them.

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Gina May 5, 2010

My husband is in the Army so he runs a lot, and one of the debates is always that the female PT standards aren’t the same as male…and that if you are going into combat, women should be able to do everything that men can do. Fair enough, yes, but my argument is always that women tend to be shorter and have shorter legs!! Anyway, I’m used to him running faster than me. In response to whether you should “go on ahead” or stay together, I can tell you what my husband has done. While I work out a lot, I’m just not in quite as good shape as him since my job doesn’t require working out constantly (he usually does twice a day). Anyway, we have done a lot of races and fun runs together, and he ALWAYS runs with me. With the exception of one race, he has done every single one with me, and we’ve probably done at least 20.

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elizabeth May 5, 2010

Usually triathlons are grouped by sex and age. The swim starts in waves and there can be a 30 minute or so difference between the first and last wave. The person finishing the swim first would not want to wait for the other at transition. That would be detrimental to your overall time.

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kate May 5, 2010

Im training for a tri with a friend, but I think the day of well have the attitude that if we need to part ways we will. Its so important for me to have a buddy while Im training though!

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Sarah May 5, 2010

My husband and I did a 10k together and it was so much FUN to have him right next to me the whole time. We had planned on walking and due to some crazy things we ended up running most of it…so no training (and therefore, we also weren’t worried about our times)!!! Anyway, it was really motivating to have him with me for the first one. If we did a second 10k that we’d actually trained for, we’d probably do it separately to achieve our own goal times. But that first race was all about finishing so it was fun to do it together. I felt like we had a shared experience rather than 2 separate ones. If you’re the faster person & he could use some encouragement along the way (or if you just think it would be fun!), I think you’d have a blast doing it togeether.

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Amanda May 5, 2010

I absolutely agree that compliments and praise (without overdoing it) are great motivation. When running with my boyfriend I’d say things like “You look great” or “Your form is really improving”, and when we finish I always give him a little pat on the butt :)

My boyfriend and I trained for the 10 mile run that we did last weekend together. It was great bc we didn’t wear ipods and it was time to be together! For the race we decided to stick together, and said we’d figure it out if someone had to stop for the bathroom or something … we are really the same pace. Staying together allowed us to each push each other when we’d get surges of energy and to be motivating! I’ve never done a tri, but it seems like it could be tough with all the transitioning…

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Jil May 5, 2010

Aww glad you had a good run together!!

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Tina May 5, 2010

How great to enjoy a run together. I love when I have the chance to workout with my husband. There is something special about it. Which is why I completely understand your point of view on the try-a-tri. I would also want to complete the first one together. Then if I enjoy it, work towards improving later on.

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Monica May 5, 2010

I do not think that it matters whether you are there side by side or not. In the end, you are still in the same race and will have the same goal in mind. Besides, he may not be side by side with you, but he is still doing this race with you. << hope this makes sense.

Whoever finishes first will always be at the finish line cheering the other one on.

Congrats doing this together. I would have to drag my boyfriend to do this. Good luck!!

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Kristin May 5, 2010

My husband and I never run together. He’s a long-time runner who’s a lot taller than I, and is just too fast for me!

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Heather (Heather's Dish) May 5, 2010

i’ve never done a race or anything like that with a friend/family member, but i would just do it for fun and stick with them regardless :)

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JL May 5, 2010

I say you each have your own race and save your sappy moment when you meet up after you’ve both finished. :)

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Rachel May 5, 2010

I have a hard time working out with my significant other. I am thrilled whenever he does join me because I know all the benefits of exercise, but I have a really hard time putting my ego away, like you talked about.

I work out CONSTANTLY. At least 3-4 times a week every single week. I do different workouts and I push myself really hard.

On the random times my boyfriend does come work out with me, he can always run farther, lift heavier weights, and just about do EVERYTHING better than me.

It drives me nuts! I feel like I work so hard to maintain an active lifestyle in a town/society that makes it extremely difficult, and he can just get out there randomly and is in better shape than I am.

Arg! Ha thanks for letting me vent.

I obviously need to put the ego AWAY, and I try very hard not to let him see me get upset when he does so well I always tell him that I am proud of him and excited to be sharing the experience together.

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Diana @ frontyardfoodie May 5, 2010

Aww! This is sweet.

Okay, first of all, when I do races with my friends I don’t hold back and I don’t expect them too. However, if my hubby agreed to do something like this with me you better believe I’d stick next to him the entire time. Not only would it be awesome to cross the finish line with him but it would be so much fun!

Not like that’s ever going to happen but a girl can hope:)

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Sonja {Active Foodie} May 5, 2010

That’s a great question! Dave and I are doing our first tri together this June and I haven’t decided how I want to finish! I think we will end up racing separately since we are better at different things – and hopefully we can still finish together! :)

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