Sometimes I am asked what it is about running that I love so much. I always pause, taken aback by the question, as if I am being asked why I love my husband, my family, my friends, or my cat.
I just do.
But after probing more into my instinctual and immediate response, I start to realize that there are many reasons why I love to run. The answer I give you will depend on the day, the distance, the time, my mood, my body, my sleep, and various other factors.
Today the reason I ran was for mental health.
I knew that today’s run would serve the purpose of boosting my mental health and centering me. Today I just craved a run like nothing else.
Recently, Caitlin had a wonderful discussion on the topic of ‘What are you running towards?’. In my answer to her question, I said:
I’m running towards inner peace. I’d like to think I get there a bit more with each run.
Inner peace is one of the goals I strive for each and every day. It is not always through running that I try to get there; sometimes it is through writing, baking, reading, meditating, cracking jokes, walking, or being with my loved ones. The desire for inner peace was one of the main reasons why I ended up leaving an unfulfilling career and branching out on my own.
I think inner peace is a lovely goal. And running helps me get there.
I have also been asked by frustrated readers how they can learn to enjoy running. Sometimes the answer I give seems a bit odd:
“Have you cried on a run yet?”
“What? No!”
“Then keep running.”
“Have you gotten a shiver through your entire body on a run yet?”
“From the cold, you mean?”
“Keep running.”
I remember the day that hooked me on running. It was during my first 10k race in June 2009. I had been running on and off since August 2008, but I never understood why anyone could enjoy 30 minutes of breathless agony. What kind of strange people were they, I would wonder.
This 10k course was a brutal one, filled with menacing hills around every bend or turn. I laugh about it now, but at the time I was running on steam.
Here is a quote from my race recap #3 (the rest can be found on my race page):
6km-7km: It was hot, but I was truly loving every minute of the race. Each time someone passed me, it motivated me to dig deep within myself and find an extra ounce or two of strength. I thought a lot about Chris during these 2 kilometers and I found myself getting quite emotional in the moment. I teared up at one point as I was so overcome with emotion. I think it had been building for so long now. All of the emotions from my injury were finally being let go. The 2 months when I couldn’t even do yoga let alone cardio exercise affected me more than I realized. I felt free, and yes, while I was panting, and grunting, and feeling sometimes like I was going to die going up a hill, in some odd way I felt so alive. I thought about what Chris must have gone through with his cancer and coming to grips with the fact that he wasn’t going to make it to his thirties. Suddenly everything I was feeling sort of went numb. A tear dropped off my face and I didn’t feel any tiredness anymore. I didn’t curse the hills, I didn’t worry about my time, heart rate, or pace…and I am not sure if the music was on or off.
I just ran.
And this is why I love to run.
The ability to take your emotional junk and leave it on the pavement is something I have not found in anything else but through running. For some it is yoga or walking or skydiving, but for me it is running.
Today’s long run wasn’t really about improving my physical endurance or training for a half marathon. I mean, of course it was to an extent, but really, all I wanted to do was clear my mind and reclaim my inner peace.
It worked.
[But perhaps, not without Kath’s Sweet, sweet nectar recipe too. Two thumbs up for homemade sports drinks!]
How do you find your inner peace?
Yes! I totally heard you on this post. I haven’t been running recently due to my work/school schedule and then the hot Texas heat in the evening. But I am getting back to it now that I’ll be going to school full-time. I have missed the runs that let me “run out” my problems, think over them… and the runs that I don’t think on at all, except for about the run itself, my music and the nature around me. “Leaving it all on the pavement” is a great way to describe why I love to run, too. Thanks for the great post!
wonderful post! i just started running – well, 6 weeks ago – and your blog actually was part of the inspiration to start. i love running and i get emotional thinking about what running means and how amazed i am at what my body can do. thank you!
Angela, this is a lovely and heartfelt post. I want to add something (not to take away from your discussion, but to add)…
I think that many people who run actually need to ask themselves not what they are running toward, but what they are running from.
One thing I love about running (although I don’t run anymore) is its accessibility. In Canada, it takes a lot of money to enroll your kids in hockey, deal with odd ice times and shell out the cash for all of that equipment. You are almost guaranteed to be enclosing your kids in sports communities that represent very narrow sections of the socio-economic spectrum. Running, on the other hand, requires only a pair of shoes (and not even that, for many people). Any one, from any walk of life (health permitting) can put one foot in front of the other :)
Love this post! I ran my first marathon at the age of 40. Made me feel so strong and capable. Still feel that way :)
Love this post, Angela! And a perfect thing to read on the morning of an evening race (Midsummer NIghts Run 15k! Eek!)!!!
How do I find my own inner peace? Oddly enough, housework! I think cleaning up the house and cooking great dinners puts me very much at peace. I’m lucky to live where I live and have the opportunity to make the things that I do and when I clean I’m always remembered of that.
I find my inner peace being around horses… And this post made me realize how important it is to have that in my life. I haven’t been around horses in two years. No WONDER I feel so out of balance!
Inner peace is important in keeping healthy. Great post!
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I loved reading this post!
Running also helps me find inner peace, and it reminds me of how strong I really am. :)
Through running, walking, and journaling I work towards finding my inner peace. Some days all I need is a long walk, other days it’s a grueling run that does it for me. Either way, it’s important to me to work towards that inner peace and find something centers me every day.
Awesome 10 mile stats! I just did my ten miler too… people think I’m crazy, but I love to run. It’s one of my many outlets in life.
Running used to mystify me! I didn’t understand WHY people would do something that is so hard. It took me a long time to get to where I am, but wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Two weeks ago I broke my toe and couldn’t walk, let alone run. I was devastated! I was so bummed! Eventually it lead to a no-run funk. I was so cranky and irritable. Nothing cheered me up and my foot hurt! A few days ago I embarked on a run (on the treadmill of course!) and it was awesome! Yesterday I ran 3 miles, which for me is far. It’s like every neuron in my brain reconnects when I run, things are where they are supposed to be!
I find my inner peace not really through exercise but in writing. Whenever I am stressed or feel overwhelmed I write and almost immediately feel better. Sometimes it is a journal or simply a piece that channels what I am feeling. I always feel lighter afterwards and then am able to move on.
Some of my favorite runs are when I’m just mentally drained and empty. They definitely help me clear my mind and re-energize emotionally!
I’m still searching for the exercise that will help me find inner peace. Last year I tried running a little bit and was amazed at how clear headed, free, and powerful I felt for the first time in my life. Then I gained thirty pounds and running became painful and burdensome. (I’m not sure if I’m using correct form.) I start trying to run again when my husband and I buy a treadmill for our home (the weather will get really nasty here soon, and it isn’t safe to run outside without proper gear.) In the mean time I’ll keep searching for inner peace.
First of all, love your blog! I also love your last post, especially the excerpt from your 10K. Back in December, I went through a very traumatic experience which left me a physical mess (first steps with a walker and a person on either side of me). I went from running and weight lifting, to being unable to sit on the toilet without help. (details on the “about me” section of my blog) I remember wondering if I’d ever be able to run again, and I missed it so much. There are many times during runs now that I think back to the difficulties of those recovery months, and am so THANKFUL that I can run!!!
This post gave me chills, right after the part that you asked about crying or getting goosebumps on a run! I have definitely felt very emotional and a bit choked up during a race. Most days I am just so thankful that I am able to run!
Hi Angela!
i was just hoping you could comment on your progress with pace. I’m proud of my 12 minute mile, but I’m wondering how long it took you to get down to an 8 minute mile. And how you balanced endurance with taking breaks… I feel accomplished when I’ve been able to run 20 minutes non-stop, but would breaking to walk after ever mile or so help improve my pace? I’ll google all this, but I’d love to hear more about your personal journey!
I really hope I love running as much you do someday :) it seems they’re about 60% great, 40% grueling. I’ll keep going until I crave it though!
Angela,
Your post could not have come at a better time. I am just really getting into running, heck, jogging, and it is hard. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time or why. I guess you put into words how I want to feel about it. Thanks for the inspiration!
I really love this post. For me running is a way to focus on what is important- aka breathing. When I run, I can let go of whatever is bothering me and just focus on my breath, its a very calming experience. Since I’m currently out with a (recovering) sprained ankle, I’m relying on Bikram Yoga for much the same thing. These two elaborate breathing exercises are great stress killers for me :)
I have most definitely cried on a run, btw. And that’s when you totally know it’s love. It’s the best feeling in the world!