Good afternoon!
I hope you are having a good day so far.
I am trucking along on my To-Do list…
I use Gmail Calendar for my major tasks and then I also tend to write out a daily To-Do list so I have something tangible in front of me to check off. I find crossing off lists is so satisfying! I always think of things as the day goes by, so my list gets added to as I think of them. Any leftover tasks that are unchecked at the end of the day get transferred to tomorrow’s list!
How To Beat Negative Thinking: Part 2
4. Play The Paper Clip Chain Game
I read about this trick for the first time last night and this morning I decided to try it out because it sounded really fun.
How it works: What you do is create a Paper Clip Chain by adding a paper clip for every negative thought that you have.
For example, if you think, ‘Oh my boss is going to think I did a bad job on this task’ that equals 1 paperclip.
Here is my Paper Clip Chain after this morning:
I was able to catch 12 negative thoughts in action!!!! I’m sure there were more too that I just missed.
It was quite surprising, especially considering that I consider myself to be quite positive!
It really helped me:
1) Recognize the negative thought, and
2) Help to counter it as I clipped on the paperclip.
The great thing about this game is that you can play it at school or work and no one will be the wiser! ;)
5. Remember The Good Stuff
We all deal with negative people in our lives that try to bring us down. When you are faced with a negative comment or action, try to remember the good stuff.
For example, if your sister says to you, ‘Your jeans are looking a big snug today, did they shrink in the wash?’, immediately try to remind yourself of a positive time surrounding your jeans or legs.
Perhaps, your boyfriend told you that you have gorgeous legs or your best friend said she would die to have your athletic legs. Or maybe all you need to do is remind yourself of a kick-butt workout that you had and how proud you were that your legs were able to carry you through it.
Counter the negativity as soon as possible before you let it even register!
6. Start Thinking of Yourself as a Positive Person
When I started this blog, I was amazed at how many people said I had an infectious positivity about me. This was a bit surprising to hear because I still struggle with negative thoughts all the time! However, hearing these words made me start to think that maybe I could be a positive person! Once I started to believe that I was, it was contagious. When I pictured myself as a happy and positive person, I found that I started to act in a manner that was congruent with this schema. Positivity breeds positivity!
7. Pay someone a compliment
As you may have witnessed from Operation Beautiful, paying others compliments can really increase the positivity that you feel about yourself. If you are feeling negative about yourself, try saying something nice to the next person that crosses your path.
I know for myself, I often think nice things about people but I am too shy to tell them!!!! Sometimes, I decide to take the leap and say it out loud and I am often surprised at how good this makes me feel in return. It is especially fun to tell a complete stranger on the street a compliment.
I challenge you to pay a compliment to the very next person you see!!!!
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Have you ever received a compliment by a complete stranger? What was it and how did you feel? Do you ever tell strangers compliments or do nice things for people you don’t know?
Once I was was in a store picking up a few items and this older lady came up to me and said I had a beautiful smile. I was just floored and I couldn’t stop smiling whenever I thought of it.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor Roosevelt
I like the paperclip game. It sounds fun and could be really helpful. I think you are really positive, and I would love to become more positive.
It takes time!
Another great post! I really do need to reign in on my positive thoughts. From the outside, I’m very positive! But not always on the inside.
Thanks for the inspiration!!
xo
K
My daughter and I were in a chocolate store on Valentine’s Day. We were waiting in line behind one gentleman and as he finished paying for his purchases he turned to my 10 year old daughter and gave her a basket full of valentine treats. This random act of kindness made her day.
Right now I am currently living in South Korea. Koreans are always in awe of how different I look to them. So on many occasions, usually once of twice a week, I will be walking down the street or shopping in the store and people will tell me how beautiful I am. It catches me off guard a bit because people in Canada would just not do that, but Koreans just tell it like it is. They will be very forward and say “your eyes are so beautiful, or you are gorgeous…with the limited English that they know. It’s pretty funny.
I was once told by a person at the gym that they had noticed me get back to running after my back surgery and I looked and was doing amazing. I was shocked and smiled really big because I had worked hard and someone not close to me had notice.
I complimented a girl in line at Starbucks on her beautiful tattoo the other day. She looked at me crazy and then said thanks. It made me feel great.
You know when you notice/admire something about something, and then second guess whether or not you should compliment them on it?
It could be because you don’t even know the person, maybe they’re a boss and you think it might look like sucking up, or maybe you know them very well and want to get to know them even better!
I don’t know exactly when I started doing it, but I tell myself that every time I admire something in another person (i.e. even smt as simple as, oh, their necklace stands out), I compliment them on it.
More times than not it puts a big smile on their face, and mine. It can also open up conversation (i.e where did you get it, does it stand for something special?).
I think that so many times we censor what pops into our minds for whatever reason, that sometimes we censor the stuff that’s worth saying too?
I often give compliments to people, it makes me feel good and it makes them feel good, and why not let them know how great their smile is? or how nice the shirt is?
I am sure it makes someone feel good for the day when a complete stranger lets them know how good they did at something. ;o)
BTW, I havent gotten a replied from my email, LOL. I am teasing you since you had that marked off in your list, I am sure you get 100000s of emails a day. ;o)
Have a lovely evening.
Eliana
>^..^<
I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading this post. I think the part about giving compliments is so true. It can really make a difference in someone’s life.
I had a complete stranger give me a compliment once and I still think about that. I had just gotten married and had moved 2,000 miles away from family. I was living on the west coast in an area known for really attractive people and I felt totally out of my element and not very fabulous. A lady walked up to me in the grocery store out of the blue one day and said “I just wanted to tell you that you look fabulous and I used to be a model.” I guess she told me the model part so I’d believe that she really knew what fabulous looked like. I was really surprised and sort of mumbled a thank you back. I don’t know if I really acknowledged her very much because it caught me off guard. But I think about that every once in awhile and smile and think that was awesome of her to tell me that.
What a great post. I am definitely going to try to implement as many of these ideas as I can. I, too, have considered myself a positive person, but now that I’m trying to return to the workforce (unsuccessfully so far) after staying at home, I find myself sinking into very negative thoughts.
Most of the recent compliments from strangers have been regarding my toddler daughter, and I take those as complimentary of her, me, and my husband. It feels good to have a complete stranger validate your parenting skills! Especially when you’ve had a bad day ;)
I need to be more mindful about complimenting people. Thank you again for this post!!
Thanks for all of these awesome posts! Now that I know you are into such “nerdy” books, can I recommend a couple (brain/body/mind related)?!
All of this positive thinking stuff/strategies reminds me of lessons we did during group therapy in ED outpatient! It really makes me happy that you are posting this stuff, because it is truly helpful to everyone! Sometimes people don’t know that they are hurting themselves with their thoughts. Also, for those of us that have been through treatment, there are always mental relapses, and it is THESE techniques that are often forgotten to help one cope! Thanks love! :)
OH Thanks for the reminder- I put up a bunch of Operation Beautiful post-its at the Norris Cancer hospital today and I need to download them and get them over to Caitlin! Thanks! :-)
A few months ago when I went blonde for the first time in my life, I came to school as usual, and I passed a girl I’ve never met before in my life, and she looked me in the eye, smiled widely and said “You’re hair looks really really good!” It made me feel happy and positive for the rest of the day. Also, my first comment I received from a stranger on my blog, congratulating me on making a new 5k PR. It was so motivating to push myself further, and I felt so proud of my achievement.
Thanks for this post :) I’m going to try the paper-clip idea. I often think negative thoughts and I need to nip it in the bud!
And yes, you are a wonderfully positive person. It’s part of the reason I love your blog. I feel so happy and motivated after reading your posts. You have no idea how much your blog has helped me maintain a healthy lifestyle with a positive attitude.
THANKYOUU!! xoxoxoxo
Angela my to do lists look exactly like yours. I do them for my household, my homework, at work, grocery lists, packing lists, everything. SO SATISFYING to check off that little box. Also, thank you for your paperclip idea, I’d love to try it out. I consider myself positive but I’m sure I’d get an awakening with that type of tracker.
I really like to compliment strangers. Wierd, I know. But, if I see a girl with a cute outfit or a buff arms ( I want chiseled arms a la Mrs. President!) I want to tell her that she looks great! Why not use the truth to make someone’s day better?
I need to start with the to-do lists! Maybe I don’t because I’m more of a function in chaos type. I really like the paper clip idea, it’s amazing how they could add up so quickly. And it’s so important to not let the negativity have a overbearing presence in your life.
It really is amazing how a comment from a stranger can make your day! I like how you said that once you started thinking of yourself as a positive person, you became a positive person. Self-perception influences our behaviors so much!
I know for me when I received compliments from strangers and I wasnt comfortable in my own skin—it skeeved me out (technical term :)).
I immediately thought WHAT DO THEY REALLY WANT FROM ME?!
about ten years ago I realize they wanted absolutely nothing :) and this all coincided with my becoming completely at east with who I am.
being 40 really and truly is a gift.
I love that quote at the end! I just put in on my facebook.
Something great someone used to tell me… I used to go into a grocery store every day at lunch to buy fruit (or on a bad day, dark chocolate) and the guy at the counter told me everyday I should be a model! Every day, and not in a creep I-am-trying-to-pick-you-up way. I used to go there jsut to see him hahaha.
Anglea, have you ever had negative feedback from your blog? bad comments or embarssing moments? I want to start one but am scared that it wont be well received.
Angela – I really want to thank you for these overcoming negativity posts. I’m really working with your suggestions, and have even been doing the “cross-out” activity. Thank you for your continuous advice, inspiration, and GLOW! :-D
I’ve been reading everyones comments- inspiring .. I need to work on this so that I stop playing things out on my head! Drives me crazy with worry about things don’t even happen..