Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
I’ve been a vegetarian since birth (44 years now!), and it never ceases to amaze me how the vegan food police can alienate people. Even though I am technically vegan, And have devoted my life to helping animals, I continue to call myself vegetarian for this very reason. I am grateful to my parents for raising me vegetarian and teaching me compassion from birth, but I would never, ever, ever judge someone else for how they raise their family. I enjoy your blog, whether it be plant-based, vegetarian, nutritarian, whatever. Keep promoting happy food. And, as a vegetarian “lifer” I am absolutely THRILLED that you have made plant-based mainstream!!
Thank you for providing some great recipes that I can share with anyone, no matter what kind of an eater they are. Keep them coming, I only see more people appreciating them as time goes on. It’s sad that some people aren’t happy, but I think many more are able to enjoy healthy food from your cookbooks because of your open door.
Just thought I would say that i love your blog and recipes and love that you want to raise your child to make their own decisions. People/media will criticize against paleo and veganism and whole food diets and plant based diets and whatever you want to call it ‘diets’ but don’t say anything about all the people who feed their kids McDonalds. But if it is your child and you care for and nurture them who really cares, motherhood is hard enough and if you sometimes need to feed your kid crap the world won’t end. Extreme vegans give the word a bad crazy name which turn people of the practice. I am vegetarian and like the idea of being more vegan but I can’t give up cheese (and no you can’t buy soy cheese where i live), I don’t think i would want to use the word though.
Thanks for your recipes, your FREE recipes that if people don’t like it they should go somewhere else. Ignore the haters, eat what you want and call your diet what you want because it is really hard in a restaurant to explain everything instead of just saying vegan!
Illegitimi non carborundum.
Do you. Inspire others. Don’t apologize. You are clearly very loved.
Your recipes are great and you offer a lot. I’m delighted that you are continuing to do this!
This is a very powerful post. I’m so sorry you’ve received backlash and criticism about these difficult decisions. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I think your experience is common. I’ve been a vegetarian for 12+ years, and followed a vegan diet on and off for the last 3.
By far and away, the most hateful response I’ve received about my vegetarianism is from vegans. One vegan I know even told me I “may as well eat meat” if I wasn’t going to “fully commit” myself to eating zero animal products. I have tried many times to go vegan. I’ve kept myself up late at night, rapt with guilt that for whatever reason, I’ve never been able to fully transition to veganism.
In the process, I’ve made so many positive changes to my lifestyle. I use only cruelty-free cosmetics and health and beauty products. I keep a “vegan kitchen” for myself (my boyfriend still eats meat and dairy) so I only cook and eat plant-based meals at home. I’ve introduced friends and family to new foods and restaurants that are meat and dairy free. I’ve become more active in the animal rights community, volunteering time and money for the ethical treatment of animals.
But sometimes, I still eat a dish that contains cheese at a favorite restaurant . Sometimes I’m starving at the airport and purchase a snack that contains lactose. I’ve even eaten eggs on occasion, from a family friends backyard chicken coop. And over the last few months, I’ve resolved to stop hating myself for it. I know in my heart, I love animals. Every day for the last 12 years, I’ve taken action to affect positive change for animals on this planet. Could I be doing more? Of course. But I do what I can within the reality I live in.
I’ve never felt comfortable in the vegan movement. There are so many compassionate, kind, and open-minded vegans, but also many judgemental ones. At the end of the day, I usually tell people I follow a plant-based diet. If they inquire, I elaborate. For now, that is what I am comfortable with and I don’t feel like I’m disappointing a whole population who go by a label I can’t live by 100% of the time.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think you’re a true inspiration and totally support your beautiful lifestyle!
lots of good vibes and love to you Angela! What you talk about here is why I stopped blogging at Virtually Vegan Mama and started Pure Thyme. It’s about finding blance and what works for us and our family. Keep doing what you are doing and ignore the hate!
you can read more of what I am talking about here and I would love to feature you on Pure Voice =) what is happening here needs to be explored an talked about more =)
http://purethyme.com/pure-me/
http://purethyme.com/pure-voice/
lots of looooooooove to you!
Jennifer
Thank you for staying your true authentic self Angela. People will always have an opinion but the opinion that matters more than anything is the opinion of yourself. Naysayers will always be a part of life. Some bullies just never grow up. They just grow older.
Reading your post reminded me of my Mom being ex-communicated from the R.C. Church when she married my Dad who was Anglican. It never stopped her from being her authentic self either and they went on to have the best marriage anyone could hope for until death did them part.
High fives to you and your family. No one but you has the authority to demean the way you live your life when you live your life to the fullest and honour the lives of others around you.
Angela, I’ve been following your blog because you inspire me. Inspire me to get fit, be vegan (even though I’m a newbie and fall off the wagon every now and again) and inspire me to make the most of my life. Please don’t stop doing what you do or listen to the naysayers. We all have to walk our own path in life, and you have chosen a wonderful one for the rest of us to follow. Just keep walking that path, and inspiring us all. All my love to you and your family. Vivienne
I’ve never commented before, but I just want to give you an e-hug. I have a baby and a toddler, and any negative comment about my parenting choices (no matter how untrue or irrelevant!) always cuts so deep. I think it’s that way for everyone. To have that on a public forum takes it to another level. I’m so sorry.
Your recipes have inspired me to be so much healthier (I try to eat “vegan” two or three days a week, and increase veggies and fruits all the time). But more than that, your obvious passion for what you do inspires me to do things I’m passionate about as well. You do glow – not just because you have a healthy diet, but because you are a beautiful person inside. It shines through your writing. Thanks for being awesome!
I can be considered “vegan curious”… but my past experiences with “vegans” have been off putting, to say the least! It wasn’t until recently, when I tried a 21 day detox / cleanse that I realized, 10 days in, that I was eating a “vegan” diet and completely loving it (they also didn’t label it as such)!
As soon as the cleanse was over I purchased your cookbook and contemplated what to call my new diet going forward. I didn’t want the stress of searching every ingredient for gelatin or animal by products or even the chicken vs veggie broth issue in some soups… but what I’m cooking for myself is inspired by you (and the cleanse) and I’ve never eaten better! Yes, I’ve gravitated back to some meat and dairy in my diet but I’m also craving tasty veggies and converting other omnivores when I share my leftovers of your recipes.
Thanks for showing me that not all vegans are “psycho” and for helping me incorporate more plant based meals in my life!
I am sorry it’s taken me this long to send a post! I work at a community based integrative oncology center in Ohio. We offer programs addressing the physical, psychosocial, emotional and spiritual needs of cancer survivors. All services are free of charge. For over 4 years I’ve been using your delicious AND nutritious recipes in our hands on cooking classes for cancer survivors. In fact, your “perfect veggie patty” recipe is a huge hit and many of our participants have stopped buying “meatless” veggie patties at the store. The way you present food is EXACTLY the way we look at food. I am going to print your most recent post to share with participants who are trying to eat healthier and not feel guilty about their food choices. You make food fun, interesting AND it’s healthy! I’ve ordered your most recent book for both of our medical libraries…it doesn’t stay on the shelf very long! Keep up the great work and thank you for putting such a healthy perspective on the food we eat :)
I’ve been a fan of yours and made your recipes for over a year. I wasn’t even a vegan but wanted to incorporate more vegetable based foods in my family’s diet. Thank you for all your amazing recipes. I’m sorry that people have felt they need to bully or question your choices. Be blessed. You bless us with your yummy recipes.
Thank you for your refusal to give in to the negative and hateful trolls of the internet (vegan or not). Your approach to plant-based recipes is always loving, positive and gentle which I found refreshing and welcoming, and everything I try from this website is delicious, so if some people are too blinded by their own dogma (or self-loathing, let’s be honest) that is their own problem. Haters gonna hate and the rest of us are going to keep on living the best we can. Kudos and many thanks Angela!
Angela, I adore your site, your recipes and you. I am shocked by some of the comments I read on here. Bottom line, people can be very judgmental and it sucks. Know that you have a whole worldwide base of fans, supporters and friends whose lives have changed because of you. I am so glad you will continue your blog and write new books. You are a light of hope and optimism in a world where people can be so mean and cruel. Keep on doing what you do. Many of us out here need your wisdom and knowledge!
I try to eat as many plants as possible! And thank YOU. Your cookbook was a Christmas gift and I love it and rave about it to everyone. Your recipes are always delicious. I’m obsessed with your Caesar Salad and 10 spice soup. I am so grateful for your creative mind in the kitchen. Thank you for your honest writing. Positive vibes your way and to those who have chosen to get so angry and be nasty…on the internet. XO
I have been following your blog for a LONG time and have tried dozens of your recipes. I just want to say that I love your “I’m not perfect” approach because NO ONE is. Your blog has helped me to cut out meat almost entirely and use much less dairy and I feel amazing :) Much love and respect to you. Keep doing your thing!
We’re not a vegan family (or even a vegetarian family), and we create and eat a lot of meals prepared from your recipes. Haters are going to hate, and its very easy to do so with the anonymity a computer provides. The choice you make for you and your family is yours alone, and doesn’t need to fit within someone else’s definition. Deep breathes, carry on, ignore the vitriol.
When I saw that thread I was hoping that the outcome wouldn’t be something like this – it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion as people kept leaving vicious comments. It’s sad that when someone is making such progress and helping so many others to do so that people try to bring them down rather than allowing an open dialogue. That is one thing I don’t like about veganism. That and the posts of tortured animals on some of the pages. I’m doing it for the animals (and for my health), and seeing the torture just makes me feel awful the rest of the day. I enjoy your cookbooks and have given them as gifts to several people. I volunteered to be a test cook but I’ll bet you had a lot of offers. You do wonderful work and have a lovely family. I’ll miss the more personal contact but you’ve got to do what is right for you and your family. Wishing you all the best!
F*ck the haters! You still have a huge impact for all the rest of us and we should continue to motivate one another. Thanks for sharing this with us. It sucks, but we still have your back :)