Sometimes I am asked what it is about running that I love so much. I always pause, taken aback by the question, as if I am being asked why I love my husband, my family, my friends, or my cat.
I just do.
But after probing more into my instinctual and immediate response, I start to realize that there are many reasons why I love to run. The answer I give you will depend on the day, the distance, the time, my mood, my body, my sleep, and various other factors.
Today the reason I ran was for mental health.
I knew that today’s run would serve the purpose of boosting my mental health and centering me. Today I just craved a run like nothing else.
Recently, Caitlin had a wonderful discussion on the topic of ‘What are you running towards?’. In my answer to her question, I said:
I’m running towards inner peace. I’d like to think I get there a bit more with each run.
Inner peace is one of the goals I strive for each and every day. It is not always through running that I try to get there; sometimes it is through writing, baking, reading, meditating, cracking jokes, walking, or being with my loved ones. The desire for inner peace was one of the main reasons why I ended up leaving an unfulfilling career and branching out on my own.
I think inner peace is a lovely goal. And running helps me get there.
I have also been asked by frustrated readers how they can learn to enjoy running. Sometimes the answer I give seems a bit odd:
“Have you cried on a run yet?”
“What? No!”
“Then keep running.”
“Have you gotten a shiver through your entire body on a run yet?”
“From the cold, you mean?”
“Keep running.”
I remember the day that hooked me on running. It was during my first 10k race in June 2009. I had been running on and off since August 2008, but I never understood why anyone could enjoy 30 minutes of breathless agony. What kind of strange people were they, I would wonder.
This 10k course was a brutal one, filled with menacing hills around every bend or turn. I laugh about it now, but at the time I was running on steam.
Here is a quote from my race recap #3 (the rest can be found on my race page):
6km-7km: It was hot, but I was truly loving every minute of the race. Each time someone passed me, it motivated me to dig deep within myself and find an extra ounce or two of strength. I thought a lot about Chris during these 2 kilometers and I found myself getting quite emotional in the moment. I teared up at one point as I was so overcome with emotion. I think it had been building for so long now. All of the emotions from my injury were finally being let go. The 2 months when I couldn’t even do yoga let alone cardio exercise affected me more than I realized. I felt free, and yes, while I was panting, and grunting, and feeling sometimes like I was going to die going up a hill, in some odd way I felt so alive. I thought about what Chris must have gone through with his cancer and coming to grips with the fact that he wasn’t going to make it to his thirties. Suddenly everything I was feeling sort of went numb. A tear dropped off my face and I didn’t feel any tiredness anymore. I didn’t curse the hills, I didn’t worry about my time, heart rate, or pace…and I am not sure if the music was on or off.
I just ran.
And this is why I love to run.
The ability to take your emotional junk and leave it on the pavement is something I have not found in anything else but through running. For some it is yoga or walking or skydiving, but for me it is running.
Today’s long run wasn’t really about improving my physical endurance or training for a half marathon. I mean, of course it was to an extent, but really, all I wanted to do was clear my mind and reclaim my inner peace.
It worked.
[But perhaps, not without Kath’s Sweet, sweet nectar recipe too. Two thumbs up for homemade sports drinks!]
How do you find your inner peace?
I don’t know if I have found inner peace yet, but dancing is something that just fills me up with happiness. I love feeling the music and moving my body, especially in movement that is truly my own. I love it because it challenges me mentally and physically, but I feel like a star at the same time. Performing for me is addictive, but I feel the best when I perform only for me, not for anybody else. Like after a long, sweaty, late night practice, and I am so tired, but then I get into it, and I am revitalized.
I’m still looking for inner peace. I know I’ve enjoyed bouts of it before, but it’s been a while and right now I cannot recall how I found it when I did. I know even the healthiest, most centered people fall out of balance and loose that sense of inner peace from time to time, but I’ve been off balanced for so long I can’t remember the circumstances surrounding those times when I was centered, grounded, healthy. *sigh* I’m trying though, still trying, I won’t give up. I’ll keep running :)
I run because I can. I am probably a bit older than most of you and I know a day will come that running might not be an option. I don’t want to look back and say coulda woulda shoulda and wish I had been more active. I feel blessed that my body has not failed me and I am hoping it won’t anytime soon.
Running also gives me my inner peace. It also gives me body peace!
How do I find my inner peace…? I have been thinking about this question every day for the past three years. I still haven’t found my place or real direction since graduating college… Some days, I know that’s ok, I’m still young, I will eventually, and I need to just let go to figure it out. But more days, I feel stressed, anxious, and like if I continue going how I’m going, I will never find my way.
I have found it on my yoga mat, with my older instructor and her sweet, gentle voice like an everything-will-be-alright bedtime story. I’ve been overwhelmed with it through and through.
But most times, I find it over an hours-long conversation with one of my closest friends. They’re usually in less than beautiful locations, like our dorm rooms years ago, my bedroom floor, a dingy diner over a cup of coffee… I always walk away feeling like no matter the situation one of us is going through, it’s obvious that everything will end up ok, I’m reminded of who I am, and that the people closest to me are always my home no matter where I am.
As much as I LOVE running, I can’t because of a knee problem. I can definitely find peace in a hike in the mountains, a walk on a beach, a great yoga sesh, and reading.
Hey Angela… I just want you to know how you have inspired me to ‘get my glow back.’ I just decided to start a blog about my own journey as well. I think you rock and hope you will check my blog out when you get a minute… I am new and learning how to do it, but it is something I am excited about. glowvegglow.blogspot.com
xoxo,
Jacquelynn
It’s amazing how different people find what they love in different things. Some find peace in comic books, others sky diving.. :P Personally, I’ve never been a huge runner but I did get into it for a while, running a few 5Ks here and there until my knees said ‘no more.’ Since then I’ve kept the running light and on a treadmill. But it is such a great way to find peace. There’s a few things that I find my peace in..mainly horseback riding (and spending time with animals in general), weight lifting (weird I know, but I love it), and yoga (no surprise there!) . :)
I love how I feel after I am done!!! I feel accomplishment, confidence, and a sense of pride. :)
What a beautiful reflection! I have thought on and off about why I love running but I’ve never read anyone else put some of those reasons so eloquently!
There’s nothing like a good run to help me clear my head. Running makes me feel as if I am invincible and frees me from any current stress I have. It’s unexplainable, I just love the feeling :)
Hi Angela! I have been reading your blog for quite a while now, and just “came out of hiding” and have even started my own blog with my best friend! i love reading your posts, feeling inspired, and knowing that others are dealing with the same issues as i am. loved your post today on running—similar to how i feel about the gym and yoga. it just takes me to a place where everything is alright in the world (at least for that hour haha). anyways, just wanted to introduce ourselves and i hope you can read our blog!
www.standingintadasana.blogspot.com
I hope I can find the same joy and passion in running that you have… I’m not a runner, yet. But this is definitely helping to convince me :D
What a wonderful post. I totally get what you mean about running. I first tried running a year ago and I hated it. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I took it up again in spring this year and now I love it! It’s just time to be by myself with my thoughts and not let anything worry me. The peace it brings is why I don’t really worry too much about increasing my pace or distance. I just love to be outside running and I look forward to every single run.
Amen! I love this post, what a perfect explanation of what running can be. Running does the soul good.
Loved your post… running is exactly what gives me inner peace. It’s such an amazing feeling, getting done with a 10-miler and feeling absolutely, 100% at peace with yourself and your surroundings. I, too, am in love with running and will be forevermore! :)
It is great to read the comments as I am doing my FIRST 5K run/walk next Sunday in Calgary. This is special to me as my daughter and I are doing it together (she lives in Calgary and I live in Ontario). My daughter runs a lot, however, I am new to the sport of running. I have learned a lot from reading this blog and use Angela’s motivational words during my practise run/walks. Keep up the good work and thank you to everyone!
What a great post, it really makes so much sense! I wish I was a runner, I think the thing that is holding me back is fear, fear of what? I have not figured out!! One foot in front of the other! It is my goal and has been for awhile, you have inspired me along with all the other blogs who love to run to try it again! Thank you!!! :)
Great post – very inspiring! I would not say I love to run, but I do like it. Hopefully I can learn to love it as I improve. I used to run a few times a week, then I got lazy and now I am starting back at it. I have a beautiful farm across from my house with the best trails, so I have no excuse not to go. I was actually sitting here eating breakfast, thinking about going for a run this morning, when I came to this blog and read this post. I’m definitely going out for a run now! Thanks for the push :)
Well I am back from my run, and guess what?? Started crying while running – that has never happened to me, you jinxed me! It was a great run though, a lil rain and overcast skies, met up with some nice doggies on the trail, and hung out with some cows. Sweet.
This post made me cry Angela, mental sanity and peace is exactly why I love to run as well. Too be honest running is one of the things that has improved my marriage. When I’m not active I am plagued with mood swings and PMS symptoms but running evens it all out and makes me feel alive. I loved running as a little girl. I used to sprint back and forth the farm yard practising how fast I could go and even now when I run I feel like that little girl again. I feel like me. Sometimes I even feel like I’m flying. FREE!