Negative Comments From Others: Do They Light A Fire?

149 comments

Hello there :) Hope your morning is going faaaabulous.

More rainbow sorbet swirls for breakfast…

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In this juice: 1 carrot, 1 large beet, 1/2 lemon.

I wanted greens in my juice too! It is Operation use up the spinach week after all. I find that spinach doesn’t juice very well (or maybe I am not doing it right?), so I decided to take the juice from above and throw it into the blender with spinach. I also threw in a banana for sweetness and some Amazing Grass protein powder!

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Ta-da!

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It was all fun and games until I saw how many dishes I had to wash… *faints*

I’m thinking tomorrow is a vegan overnight oats kinda day. ;)

I had this juice along with a delicious apple smothered in a tablespoon of chunky peanut butter.

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If I should ever create my final meal, apple and chunky peanut butter shall be on it.

Negative Comments From Others: Do They Light A Fire Inside You?

Some of you were asking about Eric’s Kick the Coke Habit challenge. He is doing really well and has not had Coke despite craving it like a mad man. He is now buying 100% pure orange juice and mango juice as a substitute when he craves something sweet. He is also drinking a lot more black tea for his caffeine kick. I am so impressed!

He has been getting his share of teasing at work though! Eric and the guys were in Subway yesterday and after Eric ordered water (instead of his usual Coke) his coworker said, ‘This is the last straw!!!!’ ;) It doesn’t phase Eric because he can dish it out like the rest of them and he knows the joking relationship that him and his coworkers have. It is not done in a mean spirit at all.

Last year he switched from meat subs to ordering all veggie subs (*swoon*) and did he ever get razzed for that, but he stuck with it! He is not the type of person who caves to peer pressure, so I have no doubt that the comments will only make him more dedicated to seeing his goal through.

He really appreciates your comments and support and could not get over how many of you wanted to try this challenge with him. Whether it is pop, diet pop, or artificial sweeteners that you want to kick, having a support system is very helpful!

Eric’s experience made me think about comments from coworkers that I used to get. I used to get a lot of teasing about the way I ate (I was a vegetarian at the time). One of my coworkers used to tell everyone in the office, ‘All she eats is lettuce and bird food.’ (while he ate McDonalds every single morning for breakfast!). Another coworker said, ‘Soon your body will become so weak you will have to start eating meat again.’

It is never a dull moment in the workplace when you have all kinds of personalities driving each other nuts everyday… ;)

Sometimes comments like this would annoy me and sometimes I could brush them off. It really just depended on the day and how much stress I was encountering with my job and to-do list. If it was a bad day (which it usually was), I was more likely to let the comments sting, but if I was feeling great, I could laugh it off or retort with my own witty comeback.

img3796 thumb   Negative Comments From Others: Do They Light A Fire?Negative comments that I have received in my life have only made me more determined to stick to my goals. Once I had a ridiculous comment from someone who said my bakery would never succeed so I might as well go back to a miserable desk job- at least that paid well. 

Negativity lights a fire inside me to be successful with my goals. If someone tells me I can’t do something, I will see to it that I prove them wrong. Everything is possible when you commit to a goal.

Comments from others can light the ‘I’ll show you’ fire. I think that fire has been lit inside Eric because he wants to prove to everyone that he can do this.

What about you- Have you ever received negative comments that have only lit your fire to succeed? Do you have any strategies for dealing with negative people in your life?

On that note, I am off to train my first Glo Bakery Employee this afternoon! :mrgreen: Cya later!

~~~

Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind. Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship. ~Alfred A Montapert

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{ 149 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenna April 15, 2010

:) congrats angela!! This post was really motivation! I’m really glad to hear you are training your first employee!! how freakin’ cool!

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Stacey April 15, 2010

When I started my weight loss program I gave up drinking alcohol completely and stopped indulging in office baked treats, pizza parties and hotdog BBQs. I got a LOT of teasing and negative comments. Some of my friends didn’t like that I wouldn’t have a drink when we were out on weekends, co-workers would make comments about how I wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t healthy.

For the most part I brushed the comments off – I was feeling so great that I didn’t care what others had to say.

Now it’s become more good natured teasing and I give as good as I get. People can see that I’ve had great results so most of the negative comments have stopped.

Nice work on staying strong Eric! :)

Nice work on the new employee as well, how great is that??

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Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday April 15, 2010

Sometimes, if I believe in myself, I can really use negative comments to keep me going. To try to prove myself.

BUT, If I’m the slightest bit apprehensive of my abilities then negative comments tear me down.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I agree, it totallly depends on the mindset. The key is to learn how to have faith in your abilities. I am slowly learning how to believe in myself and what I am capable of. It takes a while though.

Feed the warrior! ;)

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Jessica @ How Sweet April 15, 2010

That is awesome that you have an employee now! :) Negative comments do the same for me. I have always battled negativity with my weight, and I learned early on to let it slide and motivate me MORE. I also get some teasing because of the blog, but am really fortunate to NOT let it bother me!

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Rosa April 15, 2010

Do you use raw beets in that smoothie? Raw and peeled? I dont think I’ve ever had beets before but it’s sooo pretty!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

The beet, carrot and lemon were juiced in my juicer…then I blended the banana + spinach. Sorry I should have been more clear on that!

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Erin (Travel, Eat, Repeat) April 15, 2010

I hate when people make comments about what I ate but never let that frustration show. Either people say, “Wow, you eat a LOT” (because I’m eating lower-calorie foods and therefore eat maybe more quantity than someone eating a hamburger) or “You hardly eat” if I order a salad.

You can’t win!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I get those comments ALL the time. I’m either ‘eating like a bird’, or ‘wow you are eating AGAIN? You just ate!’

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Jane April 15, 2010

I get ” eating again” from my husband…he eats a big burger for lunch and I a salad and he can’t understand that why I need to eat dinner??? Frustrating.

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Sarah Walnuts April 15, 2010

I get the same thing! My husband does that too me ALL the time, especially now that I’m running so much, I’m always hungry. I usually fire back a comment about how fast he scarfed down his food and he shuts up ;)

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Rachel (Suburban Yogini) April 15, 2010

When I worked in law I used to get similar comment to you about my predominantly vegan diet. They didn’t complain so much when I used to bring vegan cookies in though. Humph!

I’ve always been naturally thin and my weight problems were always to do with keeping weight on and I used to get a lot of negative comments about eating disorders then (it was to do with food intolerances actually).

Mostly I can give as good as I get. Somedays though it can be too much.

These days though I prefer laugh at negativity whenever I can :D

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Lesley April 15, 2010

I can’t believe that someone took the time to write you that awful comment! I am shocked. That’s terrible! Even if it didn’t seem like the bakery would work out, wouldn’t it still be better that you tried? Yikes! Regardless, you are proving that person wrong!

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Jil April 15, 2010

Amen sistah! haha I mean, I cannot specifically think of any negative comments, but I know they exist in my life. I try to tell myself that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone but myself, and that the people who truly care about me know my capabilities, etc. Usually it does light a little bit of a fire under me though… :)

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Bridget April 15, 2010

I love that quote at the end…printing it out to put at my desk!

Sometimes it depends who the negative comment is coming from – it’s from someone random or a co-worker I can usually just roll my eyes and brush it off, but if it’s from a family member or close friend making fun of something I do or care about, sometimes it hurts a little because I wish they would accept and support me and maybe even take me a little more seriously sometimes.

I like hearing Eric’s reaction to this because I think guys tend to handle things differently (a.k.a. less emotionally) than women!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I agree about it depending on who the comment comes from! I am fortunate to have had mostly support from family, but if I hadn’t I am sure my road would have been filled with a lot more doubt.

I think that believing in ourselves is something we get better at with age. How many 75 year olds do you know who don’t believe in themselves or doubt themselves? Not very many. I like to think of it as a work in progress, improving each year :)

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AshleyK April 15, 2010

We are on the SAME wavelength Angela! Negatively ABSOLUTELY lights a fire inside me as well! I’m “climbing the corporate ladder” and had similar feelings yesterday after some discouraging meetings.

My mom has always said, “Pay close attention to the things the make your blood boil. Get your heart racing. Makes you want to prove people wrong. For it’s those things that you’re MOST passionate about – and that you should always pursue!”

Bravo to you and Eric! I’m a “new-ish” reader and absolutely ADORE your blog.

My quote for you for the day: “The world bursts at the seams with people who will tell you “NO.” That you’re not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, need more connections, more education, more experience. Instead of taking it personally, use that blood boiling energy to channel your passions. You’re capable of anything. And sadly, for the world, they will see your name again (and again) (and again after much success) and regret not telling you, “YES.”

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

This is quite possibly one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard:

‘My mom has always said, “Pay close attention to the things the make your blood boil. Get your heart racing. Makes you want to prove people wrong. For it’s those things that you’re MOST passionate about – and that you should always pursue!”’

Please tell your mom she ROCKS! :)

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Mara @ What's For Dinner? April 15, 2010

I want to be a Glo Bakery employee!

I hate hate hate negative comments about what I eat. People are either judging me for it being “weird” or for it being “not healthy enough to lose weight”… people suck.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I have a spare room for you ;)

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Chari April 15, 2010

You are so right, “Everything is possible when you commit to a goal.”

It doesn’t matter what we do or choose with our lifestyle, there are always going to be plenty of people who throw out negative comments. I think it really boils down to jealousy that they are not taking the steps for a healthier life. They have no goals set in their life and they think it makes them feel better if they tear down others.

How exciting to be expanding your business, you have done so well! It probably won’t be much longer when some people who told you wouldn’t make it in your business will be saying “oh, I know her, I always knew she would have a successful business!” It’s sad, but true people are like that!

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Jolene April 15, 2010

Negative comments TOTALLY light a fire for me! I want to prove the person wrong!! The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t!!!

(I have been this way since I was about 2 years old – made my parent’s lives interesting :-))

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Jenny April 15, 2010

Love your post! It’s such a great attitude to want to turn a negative into something positive:)

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Carolyn @ lovinlosing April 15, 2010

If I mentioned trying to lose weight people always tell me I don’t need to. It’s all relative, though. Just because they need to lose 50 lbs. doesn’t mean I don’t need to lose 10. I know where I need to be.

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La April 15, 2010

UGH this is the worst one! I gained about ten pounds over the course of a year and I *needed* to lose it, it felt wrong on my body and was making me unhappy, but Heaven forbid I said that to *ANYONE* in my life. “You’re not fat!” would be the response. Did I say I was FAT?? No. I said I weigh more than I should for MYSELF. I don’t compare myself to others, they shouldn’t compare myself to me!

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Allie (Live Laugh Eat) April 15, 2010

Ahh I wish I lived anywhere near you so I could be work for GloBakery!! I would work for free…maybe :)

Juicing is a dish nightmare!! I rarely use our juicer because washing that thing is such a pain. And then you had the blender too!? You are a trooper.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I don’t know what I was thinking! lol.

As I said to others, I have a spare room for Glo Bakery interns! hahaha

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La April 15, 2010

My boyfriend used to ask me, “Where’s the food??” all the time and my mom insists I don’t eat “anything” (I beg to differ, I’m pretty sure platefuls of fruits and veg count as “something”). It’s very difficult when the two people closest to my life don’t believe in me, but it only has propelled me to PROVE that I eat, and I eat well, much better than either of them do. Unfortunately their negativity was very destructive for me for a while, and I’m still working hard to overcome those effects.

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Leah @ Simply Fabulous April 15, 2010

I think it’s awesome that Eric does not let the comments from his coworkers get to him! He is doing so well in his goals to lead a healthier lifestyle.. I bet you are proud!

I do get this from time to time (even now!).. some people say “Oh c’mon SPLURGE!! Now is the time!” I don’t believe that being pregnant is an excuse to eat whatever I want. Granted, I do eat more and will have more treats than I did pre-pregnancy, but everything in moderation.

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Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg April 15, 2010

Oh man, negative comments totally light a fire in me to show the naysayers what’s what. It’s usually a good thing– although it can be bad if I lose sight of what’s most important– staying true to myself and MY happiness!!

I never have much luck juicing spinach either! I can juice a HUGE bunch and only get a teeeensy drop!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

Ok I’m glad it is not just me and my method then…I wonder if kale juices better?

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Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg April 15, 2010

I’ve never tried kale…afraid of the stinky factor I’ve heard it has in juice form!! But it sounds like we need to do a little juice experimenting ;-)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

Stinky factor…haha love that

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Plate+Simple April 15, 2010

Wow you hit the nail on the head with this one! My husband recently went vegetarian and (big mistake) I proudly noted something to this effect on my facebook status. Within MINUTES he had emails from friends and family asking why on Earth he would do such a “crazy” thing and wow he must be “whipped” by his vegan wife.

The most hurtful one was one from his family saying “I guess you don’t want to come to family dinners anymore…”

Sheesh! The drama! I ended up having to delete my fb status update immediately but the emails still raged on for another 48 hours. Ridiculous that a man can’t do something amazing for his health and great for the planet without getting a whole lotta crap. Sad, really.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

Oh my gosh I can only imagine how you felt…that is crazy.

PS- I don’t think I have heard the term ‘whipped’ since highschool! lol.

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Betty April 15, 2010

My blog is not about being vegan.

My family (adult children, and in-laws) give me plenty of grief. Mostly I think just selfish, because I am the “Mom.”
They want me to be the traditional Cook/Baker I have always been. They now dread eating meals during holidays.
I am eating for my health. They are all adults, and can bring their favorite crap to eat if they like. Truth is, they want me to cook it for them!

My Father-in-law, and Brother-in-law both have called my husband whipped multiple times. Angers me to know end!
My Mother-in-law passed away 3 years ago. (Heart and Lung disease) Both could have been avoided! Her diet was terrible, and she would not consider eating well. My FIL, and BIL both smoke, and eat high fat processed, prepared foods 95% of the time. (MIL did too) These are the habits that my husband has avoided. Now he is healthy, and they are not. Now we spend our off time doing things for them. They are too unhealthy to do for themselves. Shopping, taking them to the doctors, the list goes on.
Oh!!! I could right a book here!

Ahhhhhhhh!! I think this has opened up a fire inside of me today!!!!

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megan April 15, 2010

If you do ordinary things, you get ordinary results. And there are tons of “ordinary” people out there who will tell you you’re going the wrong way! What helps is is to take a look at the fruit on the tree. Look at their life, results, etc…is that what I want to be? If not, why should I let their criticism get to me? I know where their advice will take me, and thats not where I want to go!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) April 15, 2010

I really like that analogy of fruit on the tree :)

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Melissa April 15, 2010

Angela, first off, LOVE your blog!! I’m new to it, but I’m following!

Second, yes, comments of that nature do light that “prove ‘em wrong” fire!!! However, I’ve recently noticed that the ones that do NOT light that fire are the comments that are negative in a different way. “You would look so much better if you stood up straighter.” was a comment I saw on someone else’s blog. This was in response to a post that included before pictures.

I LOVE being able to prove people wrong…and my favorite person to prove wrong is MYSELF. :D I did this recently by running my first 5K. My parents and husband were floored, but I was more floored than anyone.

Here’s to lighting some fires!

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Heather (Heather's Dish) April 15, 2010

as much as i hate being around negativity, it really does light a fire in me! at first i’ll get down and then i develop the “i’ll show them!” attitude. i love that i can turn it into something motivational!

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Nicole @ Geek Turned Athlete April 15, 2010

Oh my gosh, I used to get those comments all the time at my old job. Everyone else ate crap greasy nasty food, and I would show up to work with healthy ‘junk’ salads. They would call me anorexic. So annoying. Then, they would try to guess my weight, and they would usually be about 20-25 lbs lower than what my actual weight was. People that say stuff like that now to me about how much I train. I just realized that they are jealous of my will and dedication. Thanks for the motivational post!

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Christine @Grub, Sweat and Cheers April 15, 2010

I have the type of mindset that will rail against somebody telling me I can’t do something. It fuels me. This is a good and bad thing. If I use it on myself it can backfire.

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Katherine April 15, 2010

I cannot stand when people comment on the way I eat! Just the other day, my friend said “you must get so bored”, in response to how I eat. Little does she know that I cook a new, exciting and delicious meals every single day!! Just because there is no meat in my food, doesn’t mean it’s boring! I wish people would keep in mind that there are actually more non-meat options in the grocery store than meat options!

A coworker came up to me and asked if I’m trying to lose weight because I drink water. I am very thin, so the question sort of offended me! Do people really think that the only reason to drink water is to lose weight? I told her that I sweat a lot when I work out so I needed to replenish my body. Pretty gross response…maybe she won’t be so nosy next time ;)

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Lauren M. April 15, 2010

Oh my. Here I am again. 8 minutes before I need to leave for work. Still in my robe with my hair in a towel. Reading your blog and eating my overnight oats. What am I going to do with myself?

I made carrot cake overnight oats again. They are delicious. :)

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Kimberly Lee April 15, 2010

I have dealt with negative comments in regards to both my eating habits and my fitness goals. My coworkers are constantly commenting on how “good” I eat and making statements to the effect that I should “cheat and eat a cupcake”. The comments were even more frequent during my pregnancy.

I have also faced negativity in terms of my fitness goals. And I can say for certain that they lit a fire in me. For example, two years ago I had a few friends to laugh at me when I said that I was training to run a 5K. One “friend” even went so far as to say “Kim, you know you aren’t athletic, right?”. Their comments lit a fire in me that pushed to me to train hard, and to finish the 5K even after I had steroids shots in my left knee (due to inflammation). When I crossed the finish line (knee brace and all), I turned to my the boyfriend (now husband) and said “I wish — was here to see just how much of an athlete I become.”

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Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman April 15, 2010

I totally identify with you. My husband’s family always makes fun of how I eat. I really do eat a lot, but when all they serve is unhealthy food, I generally pick around and don’t eat much. I get the “you never eat” thing all the time. Now that my husband is trying to eat healthy he’s getting it too. I don’t get why people can’t be happy when you eat a certain way to be healthy. So I won’t eat that fast-food meal. It doesn’t mean I starve myself daily. It means there are certain foods I know aren’t good for my body!

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Kellie@obsessivelyhealthy April 15, 2010

I still get comments from my husband’s family. They tell him they are worried about me because I didn’t have In’N Out hamburgers with them for lunch. He explains to them that I am a vegetarian and that I do eat, just not a hamburger place. I get the “bird food” comment, but I take it with pride now. I don’t make a big deal about what I eat, so I am not sure why it is any concern of others.

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Olivia @ Blissful Runner April 15, 2010

Sadly, most of the negative comments I receive are actually from my own husband! I’ll be honest, it does sting a bit, but I also know that he razzes me because my healthy habits serve to highlight his not-so healthy habbits and it’s hard to get upset when I know the root of his negativity is insecurity. I’ve stopped bugging him to join me at the gym, or guilt him into the small size ice cream, but when I make dinner I make healthy options for the both of us. It’s all I can do, since I know that he needs to make the decision to get healthy on his own and my imput only makes him more resistant. I do wish he didn’t shoulder his guilt onto me, but I also know that he loves me and is proud of me (he’s good at dealing out compliments too, it just depends on the day I guess!). He’ll come around one of these days. :)

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Astrid April 15, 2010

I had a conversation with my father the other day that drove me crazy. I was telling him about different idea of what to do with my life: become a chef or become a teacher, and to both, he said, “but only about 1% of people make it those jobs and they never get any credit!” So I just said back, “So you mean, I shouldn’t pursure something I love just because I might fail?” I was about in tears, because this was my dad saying this. I love my dad! And then he told me that parents only say things like that, because they themselves are scared to pursue those things. It is safer for him and my mom to stay at a mediocre job, than to actually go after “dream jobs”.
So now I am on a missing to prove that I can be happy at what I do. I am trying to generate passion in my research right now, but if I can’t, then it is on to dreaming big and being brave.

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Kristen April 15, 2010

Glad to see you’re able to hire some needed help for the bakery!

I get really angry when people say I can’t do things and want to prove them wrong. I have to say though, I have never been more satisfied than when I’ve proven MYSELF wrong.

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Heather (Where's the Beach) April 15, 2010

Great reminder to take something negative and learn from it and use it for something positive. I get comments from coworkers regarding my eating as well. While they mean no harm and think they’re being funny, sometimes it really gets old. Good for you for turning the negative into a positive!

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Danielle (Coffee Run) April 15, 2010

I’m glad to hear Eric is doing well with his goals!

I think anytime you go against the norm, there’s someone, somewhere that’s going to refute you. This might come across really mean…but I just see it as ignorance. If someone wants to tell me that I’m wrong or weird for being vegan…well then poor you for not being educated. <– that does sound really stuck-up lol but it helps me deal with negativity in my head :D

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Abby April 15, 2010

This was a wonderful post! I usually don’t let get negativity get to me unless it’s from someone whose opinion I value. Then it’s hard!

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Kelsey April 15, 2010

i think when we’re younger we tend to internalize negative comments. when we’re older and grown into our skin it usually goes the opposite way. we should always get fired up when someone tries to diminish our flame!

xo

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Rachel April 15, 2010

Oh my gosh, your post really struck a chord with me today. I left a job that made me miserable to start my own company. My boss was really awful and basically told me I would fail. I’m so proud to say that next week is my one year anniversary! I still have a long way to go but I’ve never looked back. Thanks for reminding me of those negative comments to reignite that fire in me!

By the way, I’m about to make my first Green Monster. Cheers to healthy living and going after our dreams!

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Therese April 15, 2010

I’m the same! If someone tells me I “can’t” do something, I’ll do it to spite them! And although I haven’t received any negative feedback since becoming a vegetarian or from when I started to live a healthier life, I knew that the people around me were hesitant to say anything for the first little while because, in the past, I never stuck with ANYTHING! I always quit when it got too difficult. Now, a few years later, I’m getting comments like “I don’t know where you get your determination”! And now knowing that I CAN stick with something and see it through, I know that negative comments won’t affect me as much.

And as far as the person who said your bakery wouldn’t work? Guess who’s laughing now! :D Beethoven’s music teacher also said that he would amount to nothing as a musician and one of Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was stupid. Go figure…

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nut April 15, 2010

Ah…wishing I were your bakery employee :)

Congrats to Eric. I think negative comments about anything to me do bother me…but I have to shrug them off. Its not right to judge others.

I like how you are so respectful and open to others choices. Your husband and many of your readers are not vegan, but there is still a mutual adoration. That is nice.

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