A Year Can Change A Lot: Part 9

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Meet the new holiday Glo Bar….called PRESENT.

 IMG 6231 thumb   A Year Can Change A Lot: Part 9

IMG 6207 thumb   A Year Can Change A Lot: Part 9 Cranberry Pumpkin Spice and so festive. It smells like Christmas!

Present, to me, is all about living in the moment especially during the holiday season. It is about taking a moment for yourself each day.

The new Glo Bar Variety Packs are now up for sale and are 10% OFF!

This is the first variety pack to feature two completely new flavours- EMPOWER and PRESENT!

The first 10 orders will receive a free Heaven Glo Bar. As always quantities are limited…so first come, first serve.

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With Doubt Comes Motivation

Missed Part 1, Part 2, Part 3Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, or Part 8?

Last night, Eric and I were driving each other nuts.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but sometimes living with the opposite sex can drive a person a little bonkers, ya know? ;) I decided to go our separate ways last night- I went up to the bedroom to write. I instantly felt so much better zoning out and typing away on my laptop while covered in comfy blankets.

I believe it was Part 6 where I left a cliffhanger. I left my job and then Part 7 and Part 8 were sort of abstract posts, which did not really continue the story. So let me get back on track, my friends.

Grab a Green Monster or stale office coffee, whatever you have on hand. ;)

So I left the job.

I drove the final, 2 hour, horrid commute home.

The drive home especially sucked that night and thus solidified my decision of why I was leaving.

I came home, put the keys down, and brought in my boxes from work. Ikea paintings- which I had hung on my cement office walls to cheer the place up. One of which was a dock looking over the water and another was a beach with footprints in the sand. They didn’t really work, just as they didn’t work in my grad office either. The paintings only made me wish that I was on vacation, really. The paintings are now buried away in our basement. I don’t like looking at them anymore as they remind me of two unhappy times in my life.

I want to say that I threw a big party when I got home that night, but I didn’t. I actually felt quite empty inside.

I felt like a huge and utter failure.

I spent 7 years in university and another year busting my ass for that job, and now here I was.

Jobless, unhappy, depressed, and unsure of my future.

I believe I came home and cried. Tears of joy and also what-the-hell-am-I-doing tears.

I honestly wished that I could go back in time and re-do my university career. I would have done things differently, but that is life. None of us can foresee the decisions that we make. We need to let go of the guilt, live, and hopefully learn from our experiences.

I can now tell you with 100% confidence that I am not meant to have a career in academia. I didn’t know that before! See??? Progress! ;) Baby steps, people….baby steps.

I felt very scared after leaving my job. I had some very dark moments lying in bed at night and wondering what I was going to do with my life.

Luckily, I had Eric’s support to leave my job. We did a lot of number crunching and figured that we would be ok….for about 6 months or so and then I would have to sell my soul to the devil and beg for my job back (only joking). I had saved a lot of money from my job so I had that cushion to help get me back on my feet.

I instantly started looking for a research job…I mean, that’s what researchers do, right? I sent out some resumes, but the truth was none of the jobs appealed to me in the slightest bit. None of them. They all sounded so boring and I didn’t feel excited when I pictured myself doing that for a career. This is when some alarm bells started to go off inside me. I told Eric that none of the research jobs sounded like something I would enjoy doing. He said, ‘Well, apply to the ones you think would be fun then.’ Sounds easy enough right? I ended up sending out several resumes, but I can honestly tell you my heart was not in any of them. The pickings were very slim during the recession, that is for sure.

During my first month off work, in February 2009, I started to ask myself some hard questions.

For the past several years I had been on autopilot. I didn’t so much as stop to ask myself what I ENJOYED and what I actually wanted to do. I just did what I thought was right. Successful students got accepted into grad school, so I wanted that too. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons and trying to impress people in my life.

In Feb 2009…jobless…I asked myself, ‘What would make me happy if money didn’t matter?’

I have always been money focused. I always dreamed of a job that would have me making a ridiculously huge income. I researched the fields in psychology and decided that I would pursue the ones that made the largest income (I/O consulting can get you 300K + a year!) and this was a huge mistake. One of the biggest lessons I learned was that if I pursue a job for the salary, I will never find what I am looking for.

Because the truth is, the money really doesn’t matter if you are unhappy. And if you are HAPPY, it still really doesn’t matter.

I was making decent money at my job, but I was so depressed that I didn’t even care. I just put it into savings hoping for a better future. I didn’t have much of a desire to go out and have fun because I was unhappy on the inside.

When I pretended that money didn’t exist, that is when I really started to find some answers.

If money didn’t exist, I would:

1) Open a bakery

2) Write, write, write

3) Blog, blog, blog

4) Learn photography

5) Help women overcome disordered eating, self-hate, etc

6) Rescue animals

These are the things I truly ENJOY to do. I could do these things above and not get paid for it, and I would still enjoy it.

Now of course, I did need to find a way to make my passions turn into something lucrative. We just purchased our first house, and our money was quickly going to run out if I didn’t start making money.

So that is when I started to think about opening a bakery…seriously.

I am the type of person who, once committed to an idea, will dive headfirst into the idea and give 110%. I fear failure so I give my entire heart into projects that I commit to. I try not to look back. I work, and work, and work. Giving up is not an option for me. You can see why leaving my job was so difficult.

My days were filled with bakery plans. I decided that if I was going to do this I was going to do it right and professionally.

My only problem was that I failed to clearly communicate my intentions with Eric. In my mind, I had, but when I talked to him, he told me he was a bit upset that I had just decided and not talked it over with him. In hindsight, he was right and if I could do it over again I would have him more involved in my decision process.

First came the name ideas. Oh there were a lot. GLOW conflicted with too many other business names so I went with GLO. I ended up liking it better anyways. Seems a bit fancier. ;)

Then I applied to have my business Federally Corporated. In Canada, this is the highest level attainable for a business and it is also the most difficult to get. The application process was huge and very technical/legal, but I did it on my own. I had no money to hire a lawyer and still haven’t to this day, even though it would have made things much less stressful for me.

Once my business was corprated, this was my green light to proceed with serious planning. Since February, I have logged 60-90 hour work weeks. People in my life have asked me why I don’t take a break or time off, but to me that isn’t really an option during the start up phase. So many business ventures fail, and I do not want to be a statistic.

The hardest part was dealing with all of the doubt that comes with starting up your own business. I had to deal with serious doubts in my own mind and others in my life. I also had some wonderfully supportive people in my immediate family who really helped me through. My mom and sisters were very supportive and encouraged/helped me as much as they could. Eric helped me even when he was tired after a long day of working.

I remember one comment my mom said to me in March, ‘You know Ange, I really have a good feeling about your bars. I have a feeling that your bars are going to take off and really be the driving force behind your business.’ (Note: This was before I had even created my Glo bars!)

At the time, I didn’t really share this vision with my mom, but lo and behold she turned out to be right. How do moms do it? ;) She still has mother’s intuition to this day.

While I was building the bakery, I also poured my heart into my other passions: writing, blogging, helping others, and photography.

I made a checklist with my passions and how I was achieving each goal:

1) Open a bakery- recipe formation + testing, safe food handler certificate, research, etc.

2) Write, write, write- I wrote a lot on the blog with a focus on my Hot Topics/series

3) Blog, blog, blog- OSG + created Green Monster Movement, and Glo Bakery websites

4) Learn photography- Started to learn and use our Canon 30D SLR camera late Spring

5) Help women overcome disordered eating, self-hate, etc- Kept writing about these topics and being open about my experiences

6) Rescue animals- I haven’t done this directly, but I think I have started to indirectly with education about slaughterhouses, Food Inc, etc.

It felt amazing to do things I loved. It is a huge myth that it really isn’t work if you enjoy it. I disagree. It has been a ton of work and yes, it often feels like work when I am baking for 10 hours a day or being responsible for my business paperwork, taxes, receipt tracking, baking, etc. The only difference now is that I have motivation to do it and I enjoy the creative aspect of it.

Writing is one of my favourite ways of connecting with others. I think it is nothing short of amazing to be able to type words on a page and create an emotional charge in someone reading it. I still get a kick out of writing posts and having readers comment that they were in hysterics laughing or getting a tissue to wipe a tear. The power of the written word is so intoxicating!!!!!

Even though I was filled with doubt, overall I was much happier.

I was my own boss. I called the shots, and for once in my life, I had the creative control of my life. I am not a believer in fate. I firmly believe that we create our own experiences in life.

Our actions, every single day, add up to what our lives will become.

I made every single decision about my business.

It was one of the most fulfilling, yet extremely fear-provoking, feelings I have ever known.

People sometimes ask me if I am afraid that I will fail and I always tell them that any fears that I do have are much less than the guilt I would have felt looking back on my life and doing something that I did not enjoy. To me, you have to take risks to be happy.

Now, 8 months later, I am finally feeling like things are coming together, but I also know that I still have a long ways to go. The only difference now is that I feel excited about the journey, instead of wishing I could derail off the tracks.

Angela Signature thumb12   A Year Can Change A Lot: Part 9
Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. ~Johnny Carson

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{ 92 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie (Sweet Tater) November 10, 2009

love it! good for you for getting out and doing what you love.

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nicolene November 11, 2009

firstly well done on connecting with me as a reader the way you have. You articulate it so well. I get what you are saying about living with the opposite sex too- its not always smooth sailing.

You should be proud of yourself for stepping out of that unhappy place and into the light

Keep shining!!!!

Nix
xxx

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Jessica @ How Sweet It Is November 10, 2009

This may have been the best installment yet, Ange! And the money part is so true. My dad always says ‘you can’t take it with you.’

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 10, 2009

haha yup…you can’t take money with you to the grave!!

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lizzy November 10, 2009

well you definitely sparked emotion in this post. absolutely amazing and you are completely right. doing what makes you happy is the only road to take. LOVE this post :)

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Katie November 10, 2009

Good for you for finding your bliss! Amazing motivator missy! And delicious looking Glo Bars.

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Jenn (eating bender) November 10, 2009

I looooooooved this post! Oh Angela, you and I need to have a serious heart to heart sometime soon. I’m going to email you :) I’m so happy for you and am glad you have found something that you truly love. I don’t blame you for giving it your all and working long hours – if you’re truly passionate, it makes long hours feel so much better (even on the hard days).

You’re inspiring :) Let’s chat!

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Mellissa November 10, 2009

Thank you for posting this, it made me cry this morning. All of these things have been on my mind so I created a list of things I wanted to achieve.

http://www.afitandspicylife.com/2009/11/09/my-list/

1. Keep Traveling

2. Learn more about wine

3. Take Integrative Nutrition Course

4. Get my personal trainer certification

5. Figure out what my dream job may be

6. Work on my relationship with my Mom

7. Foster new and existing friendships

8. Really think about kids

9. Find a volunteer commitment that fulfills me

10. Save more money

11. Take a cooking class

12. Study Spanish Again

13. Learn more about photography

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Estela @ Weekly Bite November 10, 2009

What a great post!! Thanks for sharing

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Deva (Voracious Vorilee) November 10, 2009

I think it’s great that you took a leap of faith – it’s inspirational :-)

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Morgan @ Life After Bagels November 10, 2009

Angela, thanks for always sharing. I’m feeling REALLY scared about my promotion and starting in my new position next week. I love what I do, but this new adventures still makes me nervous. Your post reminded me of one of my favourite quotes “feel the fear and do it anyways”.

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Allison November 10, 2009

Thanks for such a great post, Angela. I woke up this morning feeling negative from the get-go and you’re illuminating writing of your experiences really helped me to reshape how I was approaching things.

I’m currently in a graduate program that I hate. Everything about it feels wrong to my core and I feel so out-of-sync. I went straight to graduate school from undergrad because there was no way I was going to find a decent job in this economy with a B.A. in psychology. When I started, I told myself, “This is just two years. Just get in, get out, and then you can do something you truly love.” I know this is the right perspective for me to hold onto at this point, but I find myself getting caught up with the intentions of other students in the program. And frankly, I have felt very out of control of my life.

Anyways, thanks for sharing and being honest about the work its taken and the doubts you have had along the way. I have just recently taken on the perspective that I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE, that I don’t have to put my life on hold to finish this program, and that I need to be accountable for choosing paths and creating opportunities for myself that make me truly happy.

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Anne P November 10, 2009

Beautiful, as always :)

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Heather November 10, 2009

Thank you so much for this post. Just this morning I drove into work and spent most of the 90 minute drive thinking about how I SO DESPERATELY want a different kind of life. Now I just need to find a way to make it happen. You’re an inspiration!

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Katie November 10, 2009

“Our actions, every single day, add up to what our lives will become.”

That pretty much says it all. I have saved this to my favorite quotes and have no doubt that this will keep me going through the next 4 extremely stressful weeks that lay ahead of me.

You truly are an inspiring individual. Congratulations on your success and thank you for spreading your positivity. God knows the world needs more of that:)

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Kristin (runningsongs) November 10, 2009

As always, food for thought! Love it!

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Elise November 10, 2009

I know I’ve already gushed on the ‘research disillusionment’ post, but I wanted to reiterate: Thank you SO much for this. I can’t help but feel it’s serendipitous that at this moment in my life, I have the good fortune to read about your experience with some of the exact struggles I am facing. Thank you for helping me muster the courage to do something different – your posts truly have made me feel more sure that it is okay to throw convention to the wind and pursue something I ENJOY. I’ll graduate with a BS in Psych in May, and I honestly have no idea what I will be doing. The only thing I can imagine not tiring of is dancing and choreographing. Thanks in part to your posts, I feel more confident that – even if it is sure to mean less money and security – I will be more fulfilled by doing something unconventional that I love. I’m not saying I’m not scared – I’m terrified. But your posts have made me more confident to make what I believe is the best decision for me. Sorry for the possibly cheesy long comment, hah – but really, thank you from my soul. In the meantime, I’ll be ordering some Glo bars to show support for my tummy as well as your choice. :)

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Claire November 10, 2009

You are so right,”Baby steps”.It’s so easy to get frustrated when things don’t happen right away or sometimes there’s that overwhelming feeling that if you don’t make a big enough jump, you won’t get anywhere.Sometimes, too big of a jump sets you back.I love these posts!!They always make me think and,in the long run feel better:-) cc

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alex November 10, 2009

reading this post put such a bounce in my step on my way to work… because it is so clear that there is so much beyond work, that what i am doing now isn’t all there is. my mom went away on a trip recently and brought back a beautiful, handmade, blank book for me. Not wanting to mar the pages with something unworthy of such a gorgeous tome, it has stayed blank..
However, after reading your post, I can’t wait to crack it open and fill the beautiful pages with my goals. i’ve never been one to record them, but now i believe it to be of the utmost importance, because you wrote them down and they came true! xoxox

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Debbi November 10, 2009

My husband has his own business and even though he works harder then he should I know how rewarding it is. Just remember the work is hard but the rewards are great. He also doesn’t have to ask the boss for a day off!

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Christina November 10, 2009

Congratulations Ange, for where you are and where you’re going! Great post :)

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jessica November 10, 2009

This was a beautiful post! I don’t know you personally but I am SO happy for you and the success you are having!

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Shelly November 10, 2009

Great post! I would definitely encourage you to pursue your interest in rescue animals, even if it’s pet type animals rather than farm animals. I had an amazing experience this past week when I took a cat that lives outside of my house that had been hit by a car to a non-profit rescue vet. They patched him up (and did surgery on his broken leg) for about a third of what it would cost anywhere else, and throughout the experience, their professionalism and love of animals was so evident. I have a rescue dog (and now a rescue cat if I can’t find a home for little Pancake- haha) and from now on I will only obtain pets from rescue organizations. It is so rewarding! I’ve also been a volunteer dog walker before and I loved doing that as well. I think taking care of animals is so good for the soul!

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Melanie November 10, 2009

How incredible:). It’s also amazing to me how close our lists are. And our (well, your previous) job situations. Unfortunately, I’m in a position right now where I can’t really do much b/c I’m putting my husband through school, but I’m still trying to work on my list little by little as I can. Definitely work to pursue animal rescue; it breaks my heart how many “Kinses” (that’s what Joey and I call them because our kitty is “Shellikins”), little Sketchies and Shellis that don’t have a home and desperately need one. Your blog continues to inspire me daily. Thanks for that.

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Bonnie November 10, 2009

I think stepping out of the box and taking risks is the hardest part of change for the better. I’m constantly questioning myself as I set up my own business and nervously wait to see if people will respond. It’s especially hard when you’re not happy where you are currently. That’s why I really appreciate your openness to share your story with us Angela. It gives those of us going through similar things hope for our future plans!

My Dad has always expected me to make lots of money and take care of him (what he doesn’t realize is I’ve been taking care of him for 2 1/2 years on next to nothing). I think money and happiness get mixed together too much. Some of the times I’ve been the happiest is when I’ve made very little money. Now, I just try and focus on being happy and doing what I love. It’s not always easy, but in the end I would rather be happy, and I think that what I need will be there in the end.

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Sammi November 10, 2009

I just placed my order for my very first set of glo bars! I’m so excited!!!

You are so brave to have been able to start up your own business like that. It’s not something I can really ever see myself being able to do.

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elliebelle November 10, 2009

What a great post. It is very inspiring to hear how you got to the point in your life where you feel convicted about your life’s work. I hope that gradually I can move toward a job that is interesting, challenging, creative and fun. I hope that I can be fulfilled by work – while now I feel that I can really only get that feeling from non-work activities. (Zumba, sewing, reading, knitting, etc.)
So, thanks again for a little motivation!

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Kristie Lynn November 10, 2009

Everything in here is so true, Ange. Thanks for the confidence booster though for all of us in unhappy situations – job or otherwise. We deserve to be happy! I put in my 2 weeks notice last week at my current job, which I really, really don’t like. And with my BA in Comm. and Spanish, I will probably end up working at a coffee shop. But I will be happy, and right now that’s what I care about. :)

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Ashley November 10, 2009

Love love LOVE this series Ange. It’s so great to get a sense of where you were at.

I’ve recently made some big changes in my life and your posts have helped me to realize that a) I’m not alone in wanting MORE and b) that it’s all going to work out

xo

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Nikki T November 10, 2009

Another inspiring post :)
It truly is amazing what the written word can do…you’ve inspired me to dip my feet in the OCEAN of trying new things and really searching for what makes me…ME!

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Bree November 10, 2009

“So many business ventures fail, and I do not want to be a statistic.”

ah yes…I am familiar with THE FEAR :p

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Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) November 10, 2009

Great post. This really hit home for me. Recently I lost my job. A job that I hated. I was miserable everyday and often came home crying to my husband. Now I’m jobless and scared. But posts like these make me feel like something great is out there for me that WILL make me happy.

Thank you!

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Melanie Z November 10, 2009

After months of wanting to, I’ve finally placed my first glo bar order!! I can’t wait to taste them!!! Sorry, I didn’t have time to read the rest of the post yet but I will do that when my kiddies are sleeping! :) You’re amazing Angela!

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Anne Marie @ New Weigh of Life November 10, 2009

Awesome post! It’s so inspriational!

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Ann November 10, 2009

Thank you so much for this post and the rest of your “A Year” series. I just graduated from university and am currently trying to figure out what the heck comes next–what do I want from a job, what is important to me, etc.? At times I feel almost paralyzed by the choices and decisions (ironically, getting a job isn’t the problem, since my degree is one that is in high demand even in the recession). It’s so nice to read something like this from someone who is in charge of her life and knows what she wants and GOES FOR IT. Thanks for the inspiration!

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Allison November 10, 2009

Great post! i have been thinking some of that stuff lately. The job i was at just wasn’t right for me, i am still employed there but i have been on Sick leave with EI, so i haven’t been able to do much, I want to make big plans, I just need to make my list like you and see how i can obtain it. You are a real inspiration Ange!

Also I plan to do my first 10k Marathon in May, Any pointers?? thanks!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 10, 2009

I think in my 10 k race recaps I spoke about how I trained for it. Check out my run page: http://www.ohsheglows.com/run and every workout I did is on there!

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Erica November 10, 2009

Very inspiring! It takes a lot of guts to change things in your life. It sort of feels like everyone I know is going through things like this these days and starting to see what really matters :) Thanks for sharing.

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Katrina (gluten free gidget) November 10, 2009

Your post is making me sad. I want to start my own baking business, but I feel so lost. Road blocks keep popping up. People don’t return phone calls. I know it is simply fear of failure causing me to want to quit. I need to just keep trucking along and stop being afraid. If only it was as easily said as done, right?

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 10, 2009

One piece of wisdom someone told me was that, ‘For every 20 calls, ONE person might get back to you.’
Its so true…I have contacted countless businesses, but you just need to keep trying and do what you can.

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Beth @ DiningAndDishing November 10, 2009

I just love this series :o). So great to read and so inspirational. You are doing such amazing things Angela!

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julie November 10, 2009

seriously you’re inspirational. I neeed to write you an email haha I’m going to soon :)

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Bridget November 10, 2009

I am so proud of you! I think we are all proud of you! Congrats on going for your goals and not giving up :)

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Susan November 10, 2009

Wow Ange, this post really speaks to me! I just quit my full-time job. First one out of university, in my field. But I can’t stand it, the pay sucks, the hours suck, and I’ve lost the “spark” I know I once had. My last day is December 6th and I have NO idea what I’m going to do! I worked as a reporter, so I’ve been applying to communications type jobs, but I’m not even sure if that’s where I’ll be happy. I however do not have the financial cushion to take a time-out and pursue my dreams. I still need to figure out exactly what those dreams are. Thank you so much for sharing, it helps more than you may know!

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