I saw something today that should just never happen.
I was in a grocery store and I saw a mother and her daughter, who looked to be about 7 or 8 years old. The mother was asking her daughter what she wanted for snacks this week, placing a box of granola bars into the cart.
The daughter picked up the box, looked at the label, and said:
“Mommy this has 5 grams of FAT in it!!!”
The mother, obviously used to this from her daughter, said, “Well what do you want to eat then?" and removed the granola bars from the cart.
The daughter said, “Nothing!”
My heart just broke for her and her mother.
And I knew immediately what tonight’s post would be about.
So I must apologize for having to post-pone my baked goods and Part 2 of muscle soreness until tomorrow, but some things just take priority when I believe in it passionately!
Please watch this video that I put together tonight. It helped get my feelings out into something that I hope will be constructive for girls and women out there who are struggling with the obsession.
You can also check out Caitlin’s challenge called Operation Beautiful! Caitlin is challenging all women to start leaving themselves sticky notes that have positive messages written on them like “I’m beautiful”. She also encourages you to leave positive notes in public places, like public washrooms to help other women stop the fat talk.
I know I am already doing it!
Tonight’s question:
What would you write to yourself?
{ 102 comments }
Excellent Post!!
I think we, as women, tend to spend too much time worrying about our bodies and not enough time embracing and accepting them.
As a dietitian, I spend a lot of time with patients/clients who definitely need to lose weight for health reasons, but I also spend time with women who are obsessed with losing those last couple of pounds- they are fit, look great, and don’t have fun in life beccause they are so worried about their bodies.
I’ll definitely check out Caitlin’s Challenge!
My first note to myself- “I love my strong muscles, and my soft curves!”
Thanks for a thought-provoking post!
Your video gave me the goosebumps. Please keep up what you are doing!
This topic is really inspiring and close to my heart. I am constantly obsessing about my weight they way I look and then get depressed and eat again. I look at old pictures and begin to cry. I yell at myself, I tell myself,”How did you let yourself get this fat” Thank you, I am now trying to live one day at a time. I am trying to appreciate myself for the many things I have to offer. Great Post!!
My note to myself would say:
“I am strong, independent, smart, and beautiful. Don’t let me tell me otherwise. EVER.”
I am so guilty of having negative thoughts about weight. But, I am getting better. And finally I have stopped saying I am going on a diet or that I am working out because I am fat. I have said I am getting healthy. I am eating well and having fun.
This post made me both sad and happy – sad that you saw that poor little girl already worrying about fat grams and the kind of experience she’s going to have, but happy that so many in the blogging community are making an effort to shift our thinking. I recently challenged myself to 30 days without calorie counting, weighing myself, or obsessing about what I eat. I’ve just finished day five and it’s WONDERFUL. I’m not overweight; I just always think I should be “better”, you know? But I’m letting that go. I’m almost 30. I have a wonderful partner and a great life. I want to enjoy it. Obsessive thoughts get us worse than nowhere – they take us backwards and downwards. Great post, Angela!
Your note really hit home for me!! it makes me almost want to cry!!
amazing post- society really is so messed up isn’t it? it is just so sad. i feel as though i have become much better over the years about not obsessing so much over my weight, but it is still on my mind as i am not yet at my “goal” weight. i have definitely gotten better at not caring what others think, and only wanting to change for myself. i have a question for you, and anyone else who wants to answer- do you think that you would be able to let go of all of these negative feelings and emotions if you were still at your heaviest weight? do you feel as though the positive changes that you have made to your body over the past few years have contributed to your outlook on yourself and your body image? how do you think you would feel if you gained the weight back?
i only ask because in my mind, i have always felt that if i just lost weight and got to my goal size that i would be “free” of thinking about my weight all the time. does that make sense? does anyone else think about this as well? why is it that many of us are happier when we are smaller? why can’t we just be happy as we are?!
Sadly, this is so common. I was in a realationship with a man who had a 5 year old daughter who told me she wasn’t eating carbs when I asked why she took the bread off of her sandwhich. She stated her mother wasn’t eating them, so she wasn’t going to either; she said she was on a diet. I almost fell over… Mothers need to be GREAT examples for their daughters and watch every word that comes out of their mouths…their daughters are watching, learning everything from them!
The good news, the 5 year old and I had a chat…she started eating her carbs again. Her mother and I also had a chat, she wasn’t very happy with me about it though.
Thank you so much for making that video and sharing it! Truly inspiring!
I’m actually recovering from the whole binge eating and dieting mentality. I think the first step to getting rid of that extra mental garbage is to really look at your self-esteem. I think every woman out there should read Body Traps by Dr. Judith Rodin. Most libraries should have it since it’s pretty old, but the book itself is based on solid facts and solid therapy methods that reeeeally help. I think if I was the mother of that little girl, I’d push for her to read that book. Hell, Angela, I reccomend you check it out too. I think you’d really dig all the information in the book.
My first note: “Is all that self-hatred, rejection, and unhealthy habits for the sake of a fleeting physical apearance really going to help you live to 100?”
It’s my life goal to live until I’m atleast 100! So a quote like that really kicks me in the buns and makes me realize I need to cut it out and love who I am right now, and treat myself well.. Or else I won’t make it to be that old!
Great post, as always. You know, you were apart of my motivation to try harder at eating better, and working on my self-esteem with self-help books. Your passion for living healthy in all aspects in life has never failed to make me want to do the same. Thanks for being a positive influnece.
That was very powerful. It’s true…what has our society come to? How have we become so disastrously fixated on impossible standards of beauty? Sometimes, I feel like a part of my childhood was lost–I remember sitting in alone in the school bathroom in 3rd grade, crying because somebody had called me fat. I can also recall so many times I resisted treats as a fourth, fifth, sixth grader, and it makes me sad that even then, “fat” feelings plagued me. Now, I have learned to love myself, and I firmly believe that self-acceptance is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
This is so true!!
Sometimes I fall into the trap and see all these itty bitty girls and think if only I could lose 10 more lbs. to look like that but that’s not being fair to myself. I will be me and I am not overweight I am me! It’s o.k. to be curvy and not a stick!
My note to my self says: I am beautiful, smart,and worth it!!!
Great post Ange!
This is beautiful Angela, thank you SO much for posting this.
xoxo
Hello! After reading about what Caitlin is doing I started writing notes and posting them at work for my employees! The one I posted today says “You work hard and do an amazing job every single day! Thank you for everything you do!”. This was for other people, but it was also a little bit for me too because I have been feeling down at work lately. I am going to start posting notes around my house, the one I will write tonight will say “I am beautiful inside and out”!
Thank you for posting about this topic!!!
-Kate
This topic is something that has always been something that I’ve advocated for. In College I did numerous assignments on Body Image and the Media. The last assignment I did was for an Advocacy course, we advocated for a positive body image in the media so that children would grow up seeing what the average person looks like. Our group is called “Dying to be Perfect”. We have a group on Facebook as well as a petition that we plan on sending to companies such a Rogers to have them remove negative commercials. We also made a video that in the end had people in the class crying over because they just didn’t know how serious this issue is.
Petition link if anyone would like to sign
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/dyingtobeperfect
Dying to be Perfect Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89SwFxeVDbY
Thank you for speaking out, your video was beautiful!!
Thanks so much for this Angela. You inspire me every time I visit your blog – keep up the amazing work of making women feel great!
wow that is sad too hear about that little girl… but it is hard to avoid the ‘fat’ talk since it is in the media everywhere from stars who are too think , too thick, what diets they are on, what diets you should be on…
“Do you ever wonder how many minutes out of the day you spend thinking about your weight?”
This was an excellent, thought provoking post. Thank you for all the time you spent making the clip.
What a great idea! So many women will be touched by our little notes
I have a notepad that has “a note from April” on them and i’m going to leave them everyone!
Thanks for the post! We need to acknowledge, every single day, that we are worth so much more than what we weigh, eat, and look like.
oh my gosh, that is heartbreaking! i love your little notes, and caitlin’s post made me really think about my relationship with myself. gotta give myself a break
And pass the message along…
Thank you for making that video!!! it was so very touching and just the thing i needed to give the motivation to get through this day and stop thinking about how i feel about my life, but to get out and LIVE IT!!! thank you thank you thank you.
This story makes me wnat to vomit….so sad
Angie! How do you always find a way to AMAZE me?! That is hands down the Best and most ispirational video I seen in a LONG time (probably EVER)! Keep up the wonderful work. Love You!
I’m just now crawling out of that hole of disordered eating. All with the help of your blog girly. I haven’t felt this good about food in a while. Thank you! Great post.
-Jessica
Excellent post! I have struggled with weight for over 30 years and am finally getting to a point that I want to be healthy, not the thin person society expects. Keep up your fantastic work!!!
Obsessing about my weight has caused me to not enjoy the moment, to not live my life for now. I feel like because it seems to at times consume my thoughts, that I miss out on some of the most beautiful experiences and moments because I am absorded in how my clothes fit, or what others think when they look at me.
It changes my moos, makes me aggitated at the ones I love because I am feeling miserable about my “image”. I know it is a waste of time and ridiculous, but at the same time…I cannot shake it.
I need to find balance…in my diet, in my level of activity and stop jumping around and engaging in the “all or nothing” syndrome.
Great post!!!
I think i would write that no matter what weight..I am beautiful and that reality isn’t losing 5 pounts per week if I AM trying to lose weight..reality is 1 pound per week and hitting plataus along the way!
LOVE the video! I would write myself a note that says you are beautiful and imperfections are real, wonderful and interesting. I would tell myself not to waste my time worrying about how I look and rather just be present in my everyday life. Learn to look at the bright side!
Thanks for the post.
I love the video, and the message, and you DO inspire me! I decided about a month ago that i couldn’t bear the obsession any longer either. I’m treating myself well, better than ever perhaps, and I realized just this morning that now that I’m doing these things, I wouldn’t even CARE what the scale said. I will never go back.
Thank you!!!
Note 1: Thank you for being wonderful, beautiful, loving YOU!
Note 2: You are someone’s inspiration.
i have no words.. thank you for this post, Angela.. I am honestly in tears right now This video makes me feel LIBERATED and EMPOWERED. I have bookmarked this page and plan on watching it often. You are such a positive role model Angela and i feel so fortunate to know such a strong woman who is willing to speak out against the insanity and ridiculousness of the media and woman’s struggle to be thin.
thank you again <3
This is my first post Angela, after starting to read your blog a few weeks ago. It is SUCH an important topic, one that most women (and men I’m sure) struggle with. I took a workshop last Saturday on making peace with your food and body and for the first time, I really “get it.” I’m done with the scale, with calorie counting and fat talk. I’ll get to my healthy and happy weight eventually, whatever number that ends up to be. I always think “This is the only body you’re getting in life. Be kind to it”.
I also work at a college and come into contact with hundreds of young women. I can’t even imagine how many of them deal with this issue. I’m going to bring this issue to the attention of our women’s center/residence halls, etc.
Thank you for posting this and for being a great role model!
Love this post, love this idea!
Wow, such an amazing video! I think just saying “You are enough” is something we do not do enough.
It is so sad what little girls are exposed to these days, and I fear it is just getting worse.
My roommate in college would shower first and after showering she would wipe away steam on the mirror and leave a message for me. It would usually be something alog the lines of “You’re beautiful Katie:)” This suprisingly really did make me feel beautiful and better about myself.
I really like the idea of leaving notes for others!
I wouldn’t be able to right now. That’s not looking for pity, it’s just being honest.
But I can leave a note for you:
Thank you.
You’re beautiful.
What a wonderful message to send out Angela! All the crap that we put ourselves through will NEVER be worth all the stress, frustration, and disappointment. It’s so important to learn to love your ENITRE self, every inch, just the way it is. Sure, it’s fun to look nice, but you will only be satisfied if you can love yourself behind all the skin and makeup.
“The only person I have to impress is myself.”
“Every minute I spend thinking negative thoughts about myself is a minute wasted.”
Thanks for taking the time for this discussion Angela!
xxoo
Heather
All of you continue to inspire me and amaze me each and every day!!!
I love:
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
So simple yet so perfect!!
Angela
What a great post! It’s such an important message for girls (and guys) of all ages!
I linked you on my blog, too.
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