We survived the first 5 weeks! I feel like so much has changed since my last update 3 weeks ago. I’ve lived a hundred lives…hahah. This post is probably going to be long winded because I’ve been jotting down random thoughts for the past 3 weeks. Bear with me.
Morning is officially my favourite time of the day. I know this sounds strange given that it follows a night of little sleep, but waking up in the morning means one thing: we made it through another night. I’m sure many of you moms can relate to this feeling of relief in the morning. Those overnight hours are zombie-like. But they are also sweet and innocent all at the same time. Even though I’m sleep deprived, sometimes I just cuddle and stare at Adriana while she sleeps at the end of a feed because I know one day I’ll wish I had these moments back. When she is a year old, I know I won’t regret those few extra hours of sleep that I missed out on. Watching her fall asleep in my arms with her head resting on my chest is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. When she’s in my arms I feel like time is frozen and nothing else matters. She sleeps in our room with us right now and I absolutely love having her close by. It’s going to be so hard when we have to transition her to her crib in future months. But I won’t worry about that just yet!
We’ve been feeding on demand since the beginning. Sometimes that means she wants to feed every hour (or less if she is needing her mama more or going through a growth spurt) and sometimes she’ll go a few hours at a time. Every day is different and I’m ok with that. I’m trying to trust my instincts more than anything and let her be my guide. Some days she naps great and other days she goes on a nap strike. There is no pattern to it. I’m just trying to roll with it. She tends to wake up 2-3 times per night to feed. I always feel rough at first, but then I wake up and it’s not so bad. I’m quickly learning that just as you get used to something it changes up again. So who knows what tonight, next week, or next month will bring! We have friends whose 6 week old started a growth spurt and cluster fed every half hour all night long (when he had been on a great schedule prior), so I’m sure we will encounter those changes in patterns too. Just knowing that nothing stays the same has helped me mentally prepare for these changes and go with the flow. We haven’t introduced a bottle yet due to our struggles with breastfeeding, but when we do introduce a bottle we’re going to try out this paced bottle feeding method. It seems like a good way to try to mimic the pace of breastfeeding and also prevent overfeeding. Have any of you tried this before? Our LC really recommended it. I’ll report back after we try it out, but it probably won’t be for a little while yet.
Speaking of breastfeeding, I feel like I could write 10 pages on this topic since the last post! I’m hanging in there, but I have to be honest with you that weeks 3-4 were hella rough (did I just write hella rough? let’s go with it). There were some tears and a lot of pain. The chomping and latching issues took their toll and I started to get vasospasms, blanching, and a ton of burning pain in my breasts on and off all day long. It was excruciating some days just putting on a t-shirt, forget about wearing an actual bra. Our lactation consultant recommended that we check Adriana for a tongue or lip tie (and many of you did too). This is something we talked about during the first week, but we opted to wait and see if we could work out the breastfeeding issues on our own. Well, unfortunately they did not improve even though we were working on it daily. I figured it was worth getting a consult just to rule it out and we did a lot of research on the topic before our appointment.
We were referred to the Newman Clinic in Toronto. The doctor found that Adriana had a tongue tie which did not come as a surprise. This explains, at least partly, why we were having so many feeding issues. We opted to have the tie released and we’ve been working with our LC to re-train her latch. It’s a common assumption that the release will automatically fix the latching/feeding issue, but as we learned you often have to work to re-train the baby how to use their “new” tongue. So the LC came over the next day and showed me an exercise to do with her before each feed. We also had to do stretches 6 times a day (for 10 days or so) on the release area to ensure that it doesn’t re-attach. Initially, I was disappointed because I didn’t notice an improvement with her latch issues after the release, but my LC assured me that it could take some time. Well, after 1.5 weeks I finally noticed an improvement! I am so grateful. I’m not pain free, but it’s definitely gotten much better. I’m hopeful things will continue to improve with time. All we can do is keep working at it and hope for the best. I’ve spoken with a lot of moms and heard from many of you who said the breastfeeding issues eventually worked themselves out and I’m really hoping that is the case with us. I really do enjoy breastfeeding her, despite the challenges we’ve faced.
Anyway, I just wanted to be honest about our experience because I know how alone I felt in the early weeks when we were struggling so much. I remember being at the hospital in our shared room and the woman next to us had a newborn that (seemingly) latched perfectly and fed like a champ. I felt so sad that we couldn’t get Adriana to latch and I wondered what I was doing wrong. Of course at the time, I really had no idea just how many women struggled with breastfeeding. All of the women I’ve talked to in my family have told me about their own struggles, all stories I never heard before opening up about my own experience. Even though I don’t wish breastfeeding issues on anyone, it was comforting to hear that so many women went through similar things. It was like, “Oh that happened to me too!” and “Oh my gosh that’s exactly how I felt for weeks!” Obviously, not everyone struggles with breastfeeding (I’ve heard many positive stories too), but I wish I knew both sides of the coin before I began because I would’ve been more mentally prepared. But that’s just me. And of course, everyone says if it doesn’t work out in the end (and there are tons of reasons why it might not work out) let go of the guilt and just do what you can. I totally agree. Being a mama is hard enough without all the guilt.
Another improvement a couple weeks ago: our lactation consultant showed us how to nurse in the seated up position. Small victories, folks. We tried it during the first week, but it didn’t work out for us and we opted for the side-lying position. Anyway, the seated up position is my new favourite way to feed her now. I was initially trying to sit up super straight (and ended up hunching over) with the Boppy pillow. What was happening was that gravity was pulling her down and we couldn’t get her high enough since she was so small. So the LC showed me how to semi-recline back in our glider chair (I lock it in place at first) and when I recline this gives Adriana a comfortable spot to rest on my body so gravity isn’t pulling her off the boob. I don’t even need the Boppy pillow in this position. I’m not sure if this explanation makes much sense, but it just feels a million times better! The other bonus is that she doesn’t swallow as much air in this position (compared to the side lying position) and her body is on a nice incline which is great for preventing reflux. Two thumbs up for making progress! We’re getting there slowly but surely…
This article gave me hope during week 3 when I was really struggling so I thought I’d pass it along: 24 tips from breastfeeding veterans. I think it goes to show how unique everyone’s situation is. Like anything, take the advice with a grain of salt and do what works for you.
I’m also reading about baby growth spurts (1 and 2) this week.
Speaking of growth, our little monkey has gained over 2 pounds since birth and she’s outgrown all of her newborn sized clothing. Our pediatrician says she is gaining weight like a champ. The squishy arms and legs are the best! I folded up some of her outgrown onesies the other week and my eyes got all watery. I felt embarrassed for myself…haha, but I can’t help it.
How am I feeling physically? I’m improving each week, but like I mentioned earlier, the recovery process has been a lot slower than I expected it to be. My doula referred me to a pelvic floor physiotherapist (she recommended going at 4 weeks if I could) so I went in last week. To be honest, I didn’t even know pelvic floor physiotherapists existed, but I am so glad they do. I have to admit, I was super nervous before the appointment since part of it involved an internal exam and I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of someone being up in my business so soon after delivery (hah), but it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I learned so much about pelvic floor health. She said everything is healing great. Now, I feel like I can finally start taking my recovery into my own hands. She also assessed my ab muscles for separation. I have some minor separation near my belly button, but she said it wasn’t bad and should heal up. I’m not to do crunches or planks (or strain the ab muscles when getting up out of a chair/bed, etc) for a couple more months to give it the best chance of healing. She also reminded me to stick with kegels – here is a great video she passed along for tips. The added bonus is that I find the exercise doubles as a relaxation technique due to all the deep breathing. Anyway, I am glad that I went. It definitely made me feel less anxious about it all.
Exercise: Well, formal exercise is not happening and I’m in no rush to start. I did take Adriana on some (slow) walks during the first couple weeks, but things were so up and down during weeks 3+4 I haven’t been able to get out more than a couple times. I have a walk date with a new mom friend I met in our neighbourhood this week though. That should be really nice!
I am giving some thought as to what kind of exercise I’d like to do over the winter months and I keep coming back to some kind of group exercise class. I always love classes and I think it’s good to get out of the house in the dead of winter. The energy and motivation is so inspiring and it’s a great way to meet people. I’m thinking of doing a combo of things…maybe weight training, spinning, yoga/Barre. I think my plan of attack will be changing it up a lot to keep my body guessing. I’ll keep you posted on what I end up doing. On the days when I can’t get out of the house, I’ll probably do some workout videos online (there are so many good ones out there for free, such as on the Fitsugar website). Feel free to let me know what you are enjoying lately. Any new classes or videos to recommend? Hopefully we can inspire each other to stay active during the long winter months! It’s usually when my motivation wanes the most.
Ok, that’s all for now. I’d love to hear from you in the comments – let me know how you are doing, vent, share a story or where you are at currently, anything!
Thanks so much for sharing, Angela! I am 39 weeks +1 day and getting quite antsy to have my baby. I love a little look into life with a newborn. I hope you’ll do more posts like this soon!
Thanks for the update. My second had a mild tongue tie that we had released twice. It was so difficult but it did get easier as he got bigger and stronger. He is now 18 month and showing no signs of wanting to wean;) I know sometimes they encourage trying to increase your milk supply to make it easier for they baby. After breastfeeding with milk supply issues both times I found that what worked best as far as herbs go is to get them in tincture form. I found Motherlove’s More Milk Plus really helped. Although it sounds like she is gaining really well so you may not need the herbs. It is great that you are being so honest. I remember that feeling of isolation with breastfeeding and it not being picture perfect. But it does get easier and can be really enjoyable. Good luck.
Your openness will be so helpful to others struggling. For some reason, breastfeeding hurt with all 4 of my babies the first few weeks. A lot of tears were shed! But!!! It seemed that it would get better almost overnight at some point (around 6 weeks). I nursed all of mine for well over a year, but I never will forget how tough those first few weeks are. And number 4 was my hardest! Expecting number 5 in March and am looking forward to nursing him/her;)
It was the same for me too, 4 babies 4 years apart (eldest is now 17) and the first weeks were hell, very painful until at least week 6. Then we went on to sucessfully breastfeed for 2 years with each. Its completely normal it just seems like no one mentions it until you experience it yourself.
I was just coming here to say the exact same thing…the first 6 weeks were the worst with both my kiddos (now ages 2 and 4, man how I miss those newborn days!!), but things got so much better after that and I ended up nursing them for almost a year and a half. I also had tongue tie and vasospasm/blanching/pain with my second; not fun, but bearable. Hang in there!
Where I’m at? I’m in limbo!
Between a long term visitor visa and a partner visa for France which will finally allow me to work and have free healthcare. I love this country so much and since moving here from Australia 2 & 1/2 years ago I’ve properly put my roots down and truly feel like I’m home. But this is all (once again, for the fourth time) is in the hands of the French immigration officials. To see how easy it is for my English friends to just come and go, work, do anything freely sometimes makes me feel frustrated. That said, am grateful that I even get to be here when others are trapped due to their nationality.
So I’m just here waiting. Trying to make good use of my ample spare time – cooking (from your amazing website of course), making jams and chutneys for Christmas presents (they’ll be even better after a couple of months maturing) and creating a kickass Maleficent costume for Friday night’s Halloween party. Mustn’t complain really.
I love reading your updates, Angela. I want more than anything in the whole world a child of my own but it isn’t to be at the moment. So I’ll wait some more… and enjoy following you on your ride!
Angela, loved reading this post (and all your baby posts!). Thanks for being so honest and descriptive about everything. We are TTC at the moment and reading your experiences helps me feel less nervous about our future. Your love for your daughter is inspiring! I live in Toronto too and love group classes so I look forward to reading about things you’ve tried. I tried a barre class at Spynga recently and that was fun (they have spin/yoga combo classes too that I want to try). Also, i tried a class at Judy’s Group Fitness and the hour flew by! Lots of fun. Thanks again and looking forward to reading more about your journey.
Thanks for the update Angela!! I agree with what you said about how it’s nice (in a weird way) to hear of other people’s struggles with breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with my daughter (who is now almost 4) I had put all this pressure on myself that I was going to exclusively BF for 6 months, and BF for at least a year, etc. Well, we had issue after issue. Maddie developed jaundice after we came home, which we didn’t realize, and would always fall asleep during feeding. She wasn’t gaining enough weight and we met with a lactation consultant for about a month. I tried everything under the sun to get my supply up. I was taking every herb she could think of, drinking mother’s milk tea around the clock, and pumping after every single feeding. So imagine, nursing the baby for 30-45 minutes, settling her, then pumping for 20 minutes. Rinse and repeat. I was exhausted and after a couple weeks of that with little progress, I had a slight breakdown. We started supplementing with formula. I would nurse, then top her off with a couple ounces of formula. I felt like I was giving my baby poison or something, because so many people are so hard on formula feeding. But we had to do what was best for all of us. Looking back now, this definitely contributed to a hefty case of PPD. :( In the long run, I nursed her until around 6 months when she got pretty sick, and stopped pumping around 9 months when I just stopped producing enough to make it worth it. I also have since been diagnosed with PCOS and read some information saying that women with PCOS can have a naturally harder time with BF’ing because they do not have adequate breast tissue.
I am so happy to hear you stuck with it, and that you are trying your best to roll with all the changes. You are right, enjoy your cuddles in the middle of the night as best you can. They will be gone before you know it. :)
I love reading your honest posts about life with the baby, thank you for sharing! I am pregnant with my second baby (a girl this time) and love reading and refreshing myself as to what life with a newborn is like :) You are doing great, mama!
I left some breastfeedig encouragement on your breakfast cookie post recently– possibly not the best place haha. But it DOES get better! Weeks 6 and 12 were big milestones for us when I saw major improvements in that realm. Also, pelvic floor PT is vital. I still go
once a week! I’ve found that swimming laps is the most pelvic-friendly exercise for me right now. It’s also calming and revitalizing all at once. Highly recommend it once you start ‘formally’ exercising again. I think that’s all I did weeks 7-12 postpartum!
I saw your comment on that post – thank you! :)
What an adorable picture. Of the baby and the great grandparents!
Inspired by your progress! I just gave birth one week ago (2.5 weeks early!) and am scouring then Internet for advice and to hear new momma experiences. Day by day is the best thing I’ve come up with so far. As for exercise I wanted to say how much I love barre! I’ve been doing Pure Barre for over two years and kept doing my normal 5 days a week all through pregnancy. I can’t wait to get back to it. It’s great because you can modify it based on you abilities (like modified abs during pregnancy) and it uses small isometric movements that should hopefully be less jarring.
Best of luck! It’s all about the small victories right now :)
Thank you thank you thank you for these open, honest updates. I so believe in the power of normalizing a situation, especially with stuff around sexual and reproductive health (its my field so I’m biased!). So thank you for not being shy or hiding the ups and downs of this process.
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been following your site for several years now & have thoroughly enjoyed many of your recipes & now reading about you & baby. I recently had a baby boy & found breastfeeding to be one of the most challenging things I’ve faced as a new mom. I almost gave up at one month, but one day we just seemed to turn a corner & many of the most frustrating aspects of it just seemed to disappear. The middle of the night feedings are still a little difficult but things are so much easier than in the beginning & the payoff is so rewarding. I really appreciate your candidness & honesty regarding your experience! Your posts have been a light in the dark at times (literally as I’m often reading them during a middle of the night feeding session!) My little one just giggled in his sleep as I was typing this & I’m reminded how precious this time is all over again. Enjoy every moment!
aw that is so sweet! Brought a smile to my face. I often read posts in the middle of the night too. It’s funny to think of all the mamas up at the same time…
Thank you so much for sharing this. I had a very, very similar nursing experience with my daughter ( I wrote all about it here http://sarajanemercer.com/archives/12776) where she couldn’t latch the first four weeks and we finally had to get her tongue released and then teach her to nurse. I am happy to say she is now 18 months old and still happily nursing a few times a day. Enjoy these beautiful, early weeks with your baby girl. They go by so fast!
So glad it all worked out! I can only imagine what a difficult first month that was for you all.
Your doing so well Angela and two thumbs up for not giving up on nursing. I am so happy the your LC recommended Dr. Newman’s Clinic and that you were able to get the help you needed. Hang in there, It will get better! My soon was born at 38week (just full term) Via C-Section and had a hard time nursing as his sucking reflux took a bit and he has a lower lip that curls in (no thanks to his momma jeans) ;0) but we utilized all the visits from my Midwife and LC and it really paid off. I am the first in my family to have Nursed my son and let me tell you, it was so overwhelming at time to hear people always judge but I stuck to my guns and to this day I am so happy I did! I found after six weeks things got so much better. A great indication that your doing so well is that your baby girl is gaining weight, is healthy and content! Thanks Again for Sharing and Keep up the Amazing work =0)
Hi Angela, thanks again for sharing! You’re right, newborns make their own schedules and it constantly changes. Learning to “go with the flow” is what helped me manage, too.
I also had a very hard time with breastfeeding, but fortunately only for 2-3 weeks. Hats off on hanging in there at 5 weeks! I’m sure it’ll get better soon.
I live in France and over here it’s standard for women to have 5-10 sessions of pelvic floor physical therapy after birth, paid for by national health insurance. As an American, I found it rather odd, and the sessions were…strange to say the least (“imagine you vagina is a set of automatic doors…open and close the doors 10 times”…”now imagine your vagina is a drawbridge – lift the drawbridge!”). But I also learned a lot and found the exercises much more helpful than standard Kegels. I have zero issues with leaks or whatnot, which many women suffer from after birth if they don’t do this kind of physical therapy.
It’s funny, at 5 weeks post partum I also started getting antsy to exercise again. But my doctor encouraged me to give my body ample time to heal (and wait until I’d finished the pelvic floor PT..which took 7 weeks). Looking back I think that was good advice. That said, a little time away from baby can also do a new mama a world of good (as sweet and precious as she is…gah don’t you just want to eat her sometimes ?!).
All the best to you three! And congrats on the new venture! You are so inspiring.
that is too funny about the PT imagery – mine told me to picture I was pulling a blueberry up there! lol. I like to automatic door reference…heh. Whatever works!
Thank you so much for this update! It is hella helpful to read a realistic account of a new mom’s experience. :) Adriana is looking so content and healthy. You are doing an awesome job!!!
You have such kind and thoughtful responses to this post that I don’t think I have much to add. New mothers really deserve special care and compassion. It is such a vulnerable time! I related to so much of this post. I had many issues breastfeeding my first baby. Long story short, a vigorous and unrelenting latch caused major damage to my nipples. I had to wear shields for a while and developed multiple breast infections. My baby also had colic and I was a frayed, exposed mess of emotions much of the time. Like others have said, it got better for me around 6 weeks and he nursed for a year and a half. It ended up being such a relaxing, bonding time for both of us that actually built up my confidence as a mom. Several times a day, while holding him in my arms, all was right with the world. I could be in the moment, knowing that I was giving him exactly what he needed. My heart goes out to you. Those first few weeks are humbling in so many ways. Continue to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Your honesty with your experience gives other new moms reading this great comfort I am sure! Kudos to you!
Random suggestion – do you think you and Eric could add a “Home” link to your top banner? I always end up typing ohsheglows.com back into the browser if I’ve clicked around but want to get back to the home page.
Fun reading your updates – hope you and Adriana get into a better groove every day! xoxo
Laura, try clicking on the Oh She Glows logo/banner up the top, it’ll take you back to the home page straight away. This normally works for any site name/banner, no matter which website. Happy clicking!
Yup was just going to say that! :) Hope that helps!
Hi! Always happy to read your posts! I have a 3 year old boy and 9 month old girl. Nursing at first was hard with both – I clearly remember the night with my second where she would latch and the pain was so excruciating that i would scream and just cried. I had to stop and decided to pump for a few days to let it heal. I just needed to be more patient and wait until she opened wide enough to get a good enough latch. It was such a hard time but thanks to encouragement from my husband and a good friend, i was able to make it through and i’m still nursing/pumping. Congrats on everything – she is a beautiful baby!! oh, meant to mention, I like the Brest Friend nursing pillow much better than the Bobby – maybe that can help with your upright nursing position? Although I’m partial to side lying – that’s all i do now that she’s older. :)
Ive heard good things about the Breast friend pillow…will have to check it out.
Glad your BF experience worked out in the end.
I did mommy & baby aerobics classes in Oakville. It’s twice a week and they are proper exercise classes – I was huffing and puffing! You don’t work out WITH your baby…the babes chill in their car seats along the wall. As they fuss or cry you just stop and do what you need to do with them. I found it refreshing to go somewhere where it’s perfectly acceptable for your baby to cry and to go tend to them! Nice way to get out of the house, and to meet others.
These are available throughout Halton.
Thanks for the tip!