Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
I’m so sorry about the negativity you got. It’s disappointing. I get the same things all the time. I’ even told I’m not vegan, because I eat honey. That my kids weren’t vegan, because we had to supplement breastmilk with dairy formula. That I use too much sugar, too much soy, too many meat and dairy analogues. Nothing is ever good enough for some people. Just a few days ago, I got my daughters ice skates. I wanted to share pics on social media and on my blog, but literally feared the backlash for buying leather. Good for you, for sticking to your guns and standing up for yourself.
Hi Angela, I’m so sorry to hear this :-( I just wanted to let you know what a positive influence you have been on me. I am a relative newcomer to this blog. I have been vegetarian all my life but have dabbled in vegan cooking on and off. Your recipes are the ONLY ones I have tried and LOVED. They are not trying to be fake meat dishes or fake bakes they are simply good, healthy food. After trying a handful of your recipes on my family, and them being well received, I bought your book and it didn’t disappoint either. I don’t like labels and really, how you feed your child is no business of anyone but your own. I hope the love bombing in these comments goes a little way to make up for the nastiness you have been receiving. Thanks, you are awesome!
I LOVE your recipes and completely agree with your mindset. Raising a family is such a personal journey and although everyone wants to throw in feedback I strongly feel you have to make decisions that feel right for you and your family.
Also–as a healthcare provider–I have printed off your recipes for my patients numerous times in an effort to give them simple and healthy recipes!
Keep doing your thing! You are inspiring.
Angela – Sorry to hear of the nasty comments – and thanks for staying in integrity and taking the road of acceptance. I have not eaten meat in almost 30 years (since my early teens) – many of those years were vegan. I am no longer a vegan don’t even call myself a vegetarian most of the time because the box is too constraining. I have always had a deep respect and reverence for animals – hence my food choices – but also for real food and nourishment. My 6 year old started with meat early on – meat that we get directly from the farm – we drive out there and pick it up ourselves. She is an animal lover, is a kind and sweet girl and meat is a sustaining element in her diet. I still don’t eat it, don’t love preparing it but I have never regretted my decision. My hubby is like yours – he eats all that I make (many of your recipes and many others that are of like quality) as I have been eating like this for a very long time – but he also eats healthy meats.
Kudos to you for being honest to yourself and your family. Let the boxes and labels go and live respectfully, i say :)
You have done so much to inspire people to eat healthier and it’s clear to anyone who reads this blog. Makes me wonder if the “vegan” haters are truly vegan or if they are non-vegans trying to make vegans look bad. I was vegan for almost a year four years ago to try and deal with some health issues but it didn’t help and I resonated with how the Native Americans ate so I went back to an omnivore diet (mostly plants).
Keep doing great work! I look forward to your recipes each week and actually just got done eating 2 of your power chia doughnuts from your cookbook that I baked into muffins! They were so yummy :-)
Hi Angela – this post really struck a chord with me. I was just recently wondering if you ever had to deal with negative comments from readers because you come across as such a warm, caring person and it’s hard to imagine that anyone could think so highly of themselves as to try to tear you down. I started following your blog last summer and I absolutely love all that you do! Keep up the good work and God bless your sweet little family!
As a fellow blogger I too receive emails with kudos or criticisms. Some days it can feel daunting and exhausting to read through the negative. I have to step away from the computer and take a moment of zen to regroup my thoughts. I recently received an email that gave me the worst writers block and hasn’t allowed me to get back in the writing groove. People can be pretty cruel and since I am new to blogging I haven’t figured out how to manage the downsides.
Today that changed! Reading your post has empowered me to take the negative with a grain of salt and continue to move forward. I’ll be back to writing this evening and I want to thank you for being an inspiration. Do you girl! There’s nothing wrong with what you have goin’ on :)
I am so sorry you have been exposed to the hateful, selfish side of people. It is a HUGE bummer and it sometimes makes one lose hope for the world. You, on the other hand, are hope, and I’m so glad you will continue on your journey and keep enlightening others! Yours was my first Vegan cookbook and it made me say “I can do this!”
Honestly, angry vegans or what I like to call The Vegan Police have always been my ONLY issue with being vegan. It’s not an issue really, it just makes me so sad. They are the ones who make us all look like lunatics, extremists, just downright crazy. They are the ones who drive people away from people trying to learn the lifestyle and who are really trying to get some good information and start their journey toward veganism. I completely support you and your choices, because that’s exactly what they are, YOUR choices. I just wish The Vegan Police could get a grip on the fact that they’re hurting the natural steps toward moving forward.
Hi Angela,
I don’t usually read comments on the net, because they are so often filled with animosity and seem to provide people with enough anonymity to be utterly cruel. I read through a lot of the comments on your last post because I was curious how people would take it, and I was seriously disappointed in the responses (although sadly, not surprised). I hoped for your sake that you would take them all with a grain (or an ocean) of salt! I myself am not vegan, vegetarian, pescetarian, etc.; I gravitate towards a lot of plant-based eating because I’m a person in search of a healthy lifestyle that makes me feel good, and your blog and your example have been a big influence on me. Thank you for your continued leadership and your candidness, and for sharing your life with us. I think you’re doing a wonderful thing, and your daughter is lucky to have such a great role model.
With or without a label, your recipes are delicious and I enjoy your writing style. Keep up the great work.
You are such an inspiration. I remember your early blogs with your salad and a couple slices of tofurky…lol. I always look to your blog for great ideas and inspiration. When my husband and I went vegan about 4 years ago I read your blog daily and back read to your first posts. Over the past year we have stared to eat meat again but we choose organic free range meats and we still eat vegan about 70%-85% of the time. People really like to get on a moral high horse and feel like judge and jury.The greatest moral failing is to condemn something as a moral failing: no vice is worse than being judgmental.(Julian Baggini) Stay strong and keep the glow going.
Always remember you are the best parents for your child. People will always have an opinion on everything and anything you do. Well done, you are doing a good job!!!
As a vegetarian for my entire life, I echo your feelings about letting your daughter find her own way, I love that I don’t take life to sustain life, however sometimes I wish I had come to it by myself. When it’s time, I will make the same decision to let my child figure out how and when and if it chooses to become a vegetarian.
No matter what you do there will be some critic telling you you’re doing it wrong. Good for you for dusting it off, keep doing your thing.
first, let me tell you how much I enjoy your site and cookbook. Your positive, encouraging, non judgemental style are a large part of your popularity. Unfortunately there are some who tear down instead of building up. It is hard to be the focus of this kind of criticism. I am sorry for the pain they have caused you. I hope you will continue leading others to greater wellness in your sunny way. That is what the world needs more of. Thank you. Keep glowing!
Feck the begrudgers as we say in Ireland!
Your blog is wonderfully accessible and encourages people like me ( not a major health officiando or foodie!) to behave a little more mindfully about how I consume and prepare my food. You are doing a great job and even though I don’t have children I love reading about how you are integrating your new baby into your life. We had a mindfulness session with work recently – we were given a mantra – I am calm courageous and confident. So keep up the good work!
Angela, You are doing amazing things that are changing the world each and every day AND raising your family in the BEST way possible – with freedom to choose.
My sister-in-law and I were at lunch this weekend chatting about your other post. I am a former vegan and she is a vegan momma, due to food allergies in her kiddos. We were talking about how awesome your post was, and how its what she does and I would do, and she mentioned the seeing some nasty comments. I was a little shocked. Yes, I figured you’d get a few nay-sayers, but I did not expect the comments you both mentioned. It is just uncalled for.
Even if you are vegan for more than health reasons, it is a personal choice AND it is not right for everyone. And with that, a little is better than none. So your daughter might eat meat one day – I’m sure that with you making most of her meals her diet will be mainly plant-based and she will be one health and happy little lady :)
You rock – keep moving forward and making waves!
Thank you for your thoughtful words! I’m so sorry you have been scrutinized so harshly, your reaction to it is so very wise and caring. I have struggled with transitioning from vegetarian to vegan for a long time and understand the lows of feeling overwhelmed with not being able to “make it, all the way”. I love the encouragement from your blog and your recipes are phenomenal! I do not yet have children but have often wondered what I would do when the time comes. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It truly makes a difference, and I (along with so many others!) appreciate it!
Hi there, My baby is now 18 years old. When I conceived her I was 40 years old, and had been vegetarian for almost 20 years, eating occasion fish. We lived in Northern California and it was the late 1990’s, so the fish was fresh and local.
Two events occurred that shaped my decision to eliminate the fish from my diet. I became violently ill the first time at about 4mos., and the second time,the Pyrex baking dish with the trout in it, shattered in the oven. I decided to go full veg at that time, and for the remainder of my pregnancy.I had a beautiful fast and healty home birth (age 41), and nursed forever!! She was an incredibly chubby, healthy well baby. No ear infections, no vaccines. My daughter was veggie her whole life, and we have transitioned about 4 years ago to committed full time whole food plant based Vegan.
I think these little souls know what they need to do in this world, I’m greatful is was able to tune in early to her needs and not impose my own. We are both each other’s teachers.
Love your Site/Book. Xox happy pregnancy!
I had to click back to the comments section of your article to see the criticism you were talking about. The negative comments made were just to nit-pick, and it makes the posters look silly and like they have waaaay too much time on their hands.
I think you are doing a great thing, Angela! I love your blog, and I am by no means vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, etc. You have inspired me to eat healthier, and people who are critical of your personal decisions are inconsequential.
I’ll be a follower of your blog for a long time to come- keep up the good work!