Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
I am, with the hundreds of other comments on here, disgusted by how people can be on the internet! I have always had the stance that if I had a child, I would let them make the choice of how to eat, just as that was how it was for me growing up, and I chose vegetarianism on my own free will. I was in total agreement with what you said on your last post and it makes me sad that people have to judge you for being honest and giving your personal stance, especially when you placed no judgement on others and even left it open for constructive discussion on the forum!
It is sure interesting how timing works – I’m gearing up on Wednesday to start a 30 day challenge on eating only your food, because I love it so much and you have taught me that meat and dairy free food can be super tasty! The few days leading up I have had some amazing support and comments from others sharing how much they love Oh She Glows as well and want to follow along with something similar. I can see more than ever how many loyal fans you have, as well as how many people there are out in this world eating healthier for different reasons. Some of these fans are vegan, some not, but in the end of the day it doesn’t really matter!
So hopefully in a time of darkness with these few meanies on your blog, you can see that there are probably a gazillion more who are backing you up and cheering you on! We love you so much Angela and keep doing what you are doing! You are changing lives :D
You have very accurately captured the essence of why I hesitate to join the “vegan” community. What I’m really looking for is to increase my plant-based eating and also reduce suffering for animals. But I don’t want to put pressure or labels on myself. Thank you for this post. And good on you for sticking to your beliefs, your reaction to criticism is inspiring and understandable.
Angela,
I just wanted to say how much it broke my heart to read some of the hateful comments on your post about your daughter. It frustrates me how some vegans want to push others away and attack them for not being “real” vegans or telling them it is for the wrong reasons. I think that veganism can be defined in many ways and there are many reasons that people go vegan or eat plant-based. Life is intricate and every person has their own journey. Even if a family is not 100% vegan, eating more plant-based foods has many positive effects! I have always loved your approach to delicious vegan food, love your blog and cookbook and will absolutely continue to support you! I can’t wait until the next cookbook! Stay strong! :)
Thank you for sharing!
I should start by saying: I love your blog and your book.
I think that being judgmental, hateful, or accusatory can do so much more harm than good. I read a lot of blogs, and I see this issue crop up everywhere. Someone is accused for being “not vegan enough,” or for confusing “the true meaning” of veganism. Yes, being vegan is about doing good for the animals, but it is also about doing good for ourselves and the planet. I think that by being open, knowledgeable, kind, compassionate, and approachable in your veganism (as you are, btws), you can do more for the animals than you ever would by being judgmental, harsh, or rigid. That doesn’t mean eating eggs or cheese or yogurt or meat to show others how open and kind you are…it means sharing your veganism in a way that is not off-putting, that makes it seem like a reasonable way to eat (because it is, duh), and staying informed about issues so you can answer questions from friends and family when they arise. I try to practice this in all things; I want others to know that a vegan diet is abundant, and enjoyable, and delicious, and awesome, and easy, and fun, and all that good stuff. Keep on keepin’ on and do you miss lady. I appreciate you and your blog for exactly what they are.
I’m always amazed at how obnoxious a a often hateful vegans can be. Why attack someone who eats a primarily plant-based diet because someone in their family does not follow suit or because sometimes they slip up or opt to eat some none vegan food. Shouldn’t the point be to do what’s best for you? Incorporating even one vegan meal a week into a carnivores diet is a success! Angela, you have made so many people excited about vegan food!! I’m so sorry the angry vegan army has attacked you when you have changed so many lives for the better!
Good for you!!!! I think some people get to caught up in labels and forget that we as people have the right to do what is right as individuals. I don’t think there is such a thing as not being vegan enough. Your recipes are delicious and nutritious and as far as I am concerned, if there are no animal based products in your recipes by definition they are vegan. Keep up the inspiration! You are an amazing person!!!!!
Good for you, lady! There will always be people with a hatchet ready to chop you down. Which is sad. Isn’t veganism about compassion and acceptance? Why can’t we care about our fellow humans as much as we care about what we shove in our faces? I mean, you know all of this…but sometimes, people need to get their heads out of there asses and smell the fresh air!! People: GET OVER YOURSELVES. Let this new mama and her family be HAPPY. Who knows-maybe one day those haters will find that thing they are truly missing in their lives: happiness. PS: I made the brownies out of your cookbook, and they changed my life. :)
I have never commented on your blog before, but I have enjoyed your recipes for several years.
I am not vegan or vegetarian, but eat a largely plant based diet. I appreciate that you never ‘preach’ about the benefits of vegan diets on your blog, or make others feel badly for not following a vegan diet. Your posts are always thoughtful and enjoyable to read.
I study the evolution of human diet and nutrition, and the thing that stands out in my own research (and that of many others), is that humans have complex nutritional requirements and that there are many healthy ways to meet those requirements.
In our world, we have the luxury or labeling our diets and very selectively choosing the foods that we eat in order to sustain ourselves. This has not been the case for most of human history, and is certainly not the case for for many people around the world. I can’t imagine how judging others for their personal diet choices can help anyone.
Thank you for your positive posts, and wonderful recipes.
Authenticity over labels :)
Love your site and your words Angela!
Long time reader, first time commenter, but I just wanted to say that your book changed my life too. I eat way less meat and dairy because of you and your seriously wonderful recipes. I hate it that the best bloggers are so horribly bullied on the internet. You are being so lovely sharing your talent, and passion, and snippets of your life with us, I am sorry that people are repaying your loveliness with ugliness. Thank you for changing my life and for making it easier for me to eat ethically. I can’t wait for your next cookbook xo
Angela:
Life’s too short. If you think for one second this blog is compromising you and/or your family, that it’s causing you angst, angst sufficient enough to cause you pain and to come between you and your loved ones, then never post again. We’re all big boys and girls here. We LOVE your blog and your recipes, but we love the chef more, and if saying goodbye to your posts meant your happiness, we wish you well.
I’m a writer, and I’m an entrepreneur. I know EXACTLY how you feel: No matter how many rave reviews you receive, you’ll harp on those handful of people who seem to delight in being ugly toward you. You wallow in those feelings, and you inevitably call yourself into question.
They’re not worth it.
Haters gonna hate. Don’t let them get to you. If they do, walk away. Ain’t nobody got time for that. You’ve got a family to love.
-Matt
I like your approach! People always ask me about my son, and I just tell them that I will let him choose what he wants to eat. I also let guests choose what they eat, but many times, they are impressed with my meals I make and enjoy it. I came upon your blog not too long ago and absolutely love it for the awesome food you create and share! I check it almost every day and search it constantly. Your sharing has helped me immensely change my eating habits to being much cleaner and healthier. Thank you so much!
Hi Angela,
Looooooong time fan of your blog and book and you and your family! (Your wee one was born 8 days after mine so it’s like reliving last week all over again :) )
I’ve never commented, though I should because like so many other readers you’ve transformed my eating so immensely that the LEAST I could do is say thank you. If my husband asks whats for dinner I say whatever Angela decided to make this week (hope you don’t mind being a household name!) and he’s pumped. He even brought your book into his work. Which is a medium security prison. Which lead apparently to a bunch of burly and rugged, meat-eating men drooling over your burritos and salads. :)
Anyways, I came across this post on Pinterest (shamelessly addicted that I am) and couldn’t help but feel it resonated with your post. How sad is it that people have to break down the kindness of others just because they don’t agree. Your post seemed hurt and a bit reserved than the ones I’m used to and I really hope these almighty vegans take their opinions to their own blogs and not muddy up yours.
Much love xo
http://namelymarly.com/10-ways-to-be-vegan-the-options-for-veganism-in-2014/
I can’t say that I’m surprised that you got hateful messages after your last post since I’ve seen it before (last time, it was over the use of honey by a blogger who lived in a place where vegan sweeteners are not common), but I hope you will get enough love from the rest of us to be able to shake it off. :)
FWIW, my baby girl is five and a half months right now and we are pretty much following your approach with her diet. I am vegetarian and my husband is omni, but we keep our house veg. We decided that she will be vegetarian at home, like we are, and if she wants to share her dad’s plate when we are out, no big deal. Our main reason is that my husband and his sister have both struggled with disordered eating and, while that may or may not be genetic, we figured it is best not to make any foods off-limits or “bad” (barring medical necessity, of course). Plus, the daughter of one of my friends is diabetic and seeing how painful it is for her to have classroom parties where she gets “special” treats (things that are packaged and labelled with carb counts so she can calculate her insulin properly) while everyone else gets homemade cupcakes or whatnot makes me not want to force my daughter to follow a special diet that will lead to her being singled out by other kids (kids are mean, y’all!) or feeling ashamed if she takes a treat that she isn’t “supposed” to have.
Some people have way too much time on their hands. I understand it is always upsetting to hear that kind of kind (I can’t even imagine) you have impacted not only my house but many of my family members. Your cookbook is one of my newer ones and it already worn and dog eared. Your blog has been part of my daily read for years. I have shared your site w countless people who are looking to change the way they cook. You are an invaluable resource to many.
Angela’s gotta do Angela.
You have always been so honest and vulnerable on your blog and I am so appreciative of that. Like many here, you have impacted my life substantially, and not just in respect to food, but to living with purpose. Your success has shown me that I can also quit my job and pursue my passion.
Not a week (and hardly a day) goes by where I don’t consult your blog or cookbook for inspiration. Who needs labels? Just keep doin’ what you’re doin’.
I love your recipes and use them all the time!! I was very shocked at the immature, hateful and mean comments that were left on your fb page. I vowed at that moment that I will never call myself vegan again, nor will my plant-based meals be labelled vegan either. I cannot support that form of bullying and stand beside anyone who chooses to behave in such a manner. I absolutely agree with prior comments that not all vegans are of that mind set, but so aggressively attacking others in a negative way is putting everyone in a bad light.
I’m very glad you have chosen to stand strong and stick to your beliefs regardless.
This is beautifully and honestly written as always, Angela. As Dumbledore wisely said, “If you’re holding out for universal popularity, I’m afraid you’re going to be in this cabin for a very long time”. You can’t please everyone, for sure – but for what it’s worth, I think your blog (both food & baby) and cookbooks are inspiring as hell and I’m neither a vegan nor pregnant/a mother! I also LOVE that you are an open book in your writing. And clearly, based on the number of overwhelmingly supportive comments here, I’m not alone in this. Keep doing what you’re doing, as long as it is what you love to do, and try to focus on the positive :)
I’ve been a longtime reader and have never commented, but wanted to say that I appreciate your non-judgemental approach. There’s no way to please everyone, and there will always be a few hateful people out there, unfortunately. Your recipes are wonderful and your blog certainly impacted my choice to follow a (mostly) plant-bases diet. Keep doing what you’re doing! Looking forward to your second cookbook!
While I don’t comment on blogs (in fact I think this is my first time doing so), I felt a need to comment regarding the negativity that has surrounded Angela’s choices. I don’t understand why one would call themselves a vegan and care about the dignity of animals, yet are ready to chew their fellow human regarding the choices they make. Are you really a vegan in every way?