I hesitate to call this page my “Before and after” because I really don’t think there is an after. My journey to health is just that – a journey – and each year has its ups and downs and different challenges along the way. One thing I do know for sure is that I’m at a much better place than I used to be. From the age of 11 or 12, I struggled with an eating disorder until my mid-twenties. I would restrict my intake too low, over-exercise, and engage in binge eating. As a result, my weight – and mood – went up and down over the years. I had amenorrhea for a couple years because my body fat was too low to function. It’s a common misconception that you have to be deathly thin to have an eating disorder. If you saw me, you probably wouldn’t have thought that I was suffering as much as I was. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes and much of the grief is mental.
After entering recovery and getting professional help, I’m now at a place where I don’t count calories or restrict my intake. I eat a plant-based diet that makes me feel amazing and I do activities that I enjoy, not to burn calories. I’ve experienced a huge shift in my perspective over the past 4 years and I finally love life again. Food used to be the enemy, but now’s it’s a huge source of pleasure in my life. I no longer feel the desire to binge eat like I used to because my body doesn’t feel deprived. I still struggle with a negative mindset at times, but I’m better at dismissing those thoughts and sticking on this healthy & happier path.
Here are some pictures that document my journey over the past 10+ years:
Last year of high school:
My weight was steady around 125 pounds. I met Eric, my highschool sweetheart, when I moved to Ontario from New Brunswick with my mom.
We started dating just a month after I began at my new school. It was puppy love that blossomed into a real, beautiful, can’t-be-without-each other– love. I always say the reason I moved to Ontario was to meet my soul-mate. :)
2003 (2nd year university):
I had gained about 20-25 pounds since 1st year university. My highest weight was 148 pounds.
![000_0001 000_0001](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/000_0001_thumb.jpg)
My eating disorder, something I had been struggling with since 12 years old, surfaced a lot in 1st and second year university. Exam stress, living in a dorm, and new social opportunities led to late-night binges, alcohol, and unhealthy cafeteria food.
![meg-and-ange meg-and-ange](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/megandange_thumb.jpg)
I was trapped in a starve-binge cycle.
2004:
![100_0003 100_0003](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/100_0003_thumb.jpg)
I lost a bit of weight, but I was still struggling and going up and down on the scale.
2005:
![](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Picture009_thumb1.jpg)
2006:
![Picture 004 Picture 004](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Picture004_thumb.jpg)
I went through lots of hair changes! Eric’s did not. ;)
![DSC05231 DSC05231](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/DSC05231_thumb.jpg)
I also graduated university with an undergrad degree in social psychology.
![DSC03705 DSC03705](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/DSC03705_thumb.jpg)
We moved to Toronto because I got accepted into graduate school for psychology. I lost a lot of weight- but not in a healthy way- due to the stress of grad school and the demands that it brought.
![DSC05803 DSC05803](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/DSC05803_thumb.jpg)
2007:
![Picture 018 Picture 018](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Picture018_thumb.jpg)
2007 was a tough year due to the pressures of grad school. I dropped more weight and was really struggling on the inside.
However, it ended on a great note- we got engaged in December 2007 in Mexico.
![MEXICO PICTURES 094 MEXICO PICTURES 094](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/MEXICOPICTURES094_thumb.jpg)
![MEXICO PICTURES 121 (2) MEXICO PICTURES 121 (2)](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/MEXICOPICTURES1212_thumb.jpg)
2008:
2008 was a year of ups and downs like no other I have ever experienced. I was stressed to the max and my weight kept dropping. I was juggling being a full-time Master’s student, writing a thesis, part-time teaching assistant, working at a new FT research job, and planning my wedding. I defended my thesis at the end of July 2008 and we got married just one month later- all while working a stressful new position.
![IMG_6747 IMG_6747](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_6747_thumb.jpg)
I looked happy on the outside, but was really struggling on the inside. Everyone told me I looked great, but they had no idea how I truly felt.
![IMG_6631 IMG_6631](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_6631_thumb.jpg)
The summer of 2008 was when I first dabbled with running. However, I did it mostly to burn calories and did not appreciate fitness for fun.
![IMG_6724 IMG_6724](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_6724_thumb.jpg)
Then I finally graduated, passed my oral defense, and got married. I had so much pressure lifted off my shoulders and we had such a great wedding and honeymoon.
![080831_1264 080831_1264](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/080831_1264_thumb.jpg)
![080831_0971](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/080831_0971.jpg)
![080831_1303 080831_1303](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/080831_1303_thumb.jpg)
![Capri Capri](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Capri_thumb.jpg)
2009:
2009 was a monumental marker in my life. I finally got the courage to leave my job after being miserable for a year. We also moved out of the city to a town that was a better fit for our love of nature and peaceful surroundings. Things were starting to come together.
![IMG_0640 IMG_0640](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_0640_thumb.jpg)
I learned to have FUN with food and I fell in love with cooking! This is when my mindset about food started to shift.
In 2009, I started up my own business and started being good to my body again. I stopped obsessing about my body and weight. I worked out for fun and not to burn calories. I decided to ditch the scale and to go by how my clothes fit instead. It was the best thing I have ever done. I did things that made me feel happy. I also switched to a vegan diet after many years of experimenting on and off with a vegetarian diet. I felt amazing eating plant-based foods.
After battling back from a pelvic injury from Jan- march, I ran my first race ever in June- a 10k- and got hooked on running! This time not to burn calories, but to enjoy it.
![IMG_3378 IMG_3378](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_3378_thumb.jpg)
We also celebrated our first wedding anniversary! What a year it had been.
2010:
![IMG_9182 IMG_9182](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_9182_thumb.jpg)
![IMG_9269 IMG_9269](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_9269_thumb.jpg)
2010 brought an even better year. I trained for my 3rd half marathon and my first try-a-triathlon (with Eric). These challenges keep me motivated to stay on a healthy path. I need lots of food for energy to keep up!
![IMG_0628 IMG_0628](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_0628_thumb1.jpg)
I am learning to be good to myself a bit more each and every day.
![IMG_0652 IMG_0652](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_0652_thumb.jpg)
Eric also experienced many healthy changes. He went from a highest weight in university of 210 pounds to 172 pounds (April 2010). He has cut down his meat and dairy consumption by about 75% and he has recently eliminated pop out of his diet for good in March 2010. You can read about his changes and see his progress pictures here.
![IMG_1289](http://images.ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_12891-442x1024.jpg)
2011:
![IMG_2804](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_2804.jpg)
As the years go by, I find myself getting stronger and more confident in who I am. I appreciate my body (most of the time, I’m not perfect though) and what it does for me each day. I try my best not to take my life for granted and worry about things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
December 2011:
![IMG_0055](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_0055.jpg)
2012:
![20120609_130322](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/20120609_1303221.jpg)
(Sorry for the poor picture quality, was taken on my phone!)
The saying “life is a journey not a destination” really rings true for me as I update this post in 2012. I’m trying to appreciate each day and live in the moment. Who knows how long we have while we’re here.
![IMG_2557](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_25571.jpg)
2014:
My husband and I are excited to welcome our first baby this September 2014! Here I am below just 7-8 weeks pregnant.
![Processed with VSCOcam](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/vscocam_1392313667.662577.IMG_2005.jpg)
and here I am 39 weeks pregnant!
![39weeksb](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/39weeksb-768x1024.jpg)
2015:
Life is busier than ever as a business owner and new mom! I’m currently working hard on my second cookbook which is due out early fall 2016.
![may2015headshot-8402](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/may2015headshot-8402-682x1024.jpg)
![mothersday-8066](http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/mothersday-8066.jpg)
Stay tuned for updates on my journey!