On Sharing

by Angela (Oh She Glows) on May 15, 2015


It’s been awhile since I did a Life with a Baby update – 2 months in fact! This is for a couple reasons. First, my cookbook creation has been taking up all of my time when I’m not with Adriana. And second, after the reaction to my post about Adriana’s diet, I questioned whether I wanted to write about her on the baby blog in the future. I don’t mind that my post created debate, but what got to me was that I inadvertently put her under this scrutiny that she didn’t ask for. I felt HUGE guilt. So I went into this “protective mommy defensive mode”, and I removed every. single. picture. of her face from my blog and social media. Call it rash, call it being overprotective, call it hormonal, but it was something I felt compelled to do after the hateful words that were being directed to my family. Obviously, I never knew that it would cause such a hateful reaction by a select few people, but as they say, live and learn. Some of you noticed and applauded my decision, some of you said you wished that I would continue to share. I get both sides, I really do.

I think many families today struggle with the question of how much to share about their children online. It’s something we’ve discussed at great length. How much is too much? Should her pictures be online at all? And if so, until what age? We don’t have all the answers or even many, but we’re just trying to be aware and make the best decisions for our family. We’ve always erred on the side of “less is more”, but lately even more so. Our views will likely change and evolve over the years, I’m sure.

I don’t think I have to abandon these updates all together though. They are, I feel, an amazing way to document milestones in her life and to connect with all of you. I love reading your stories and comments. Plus, I don’t want this blog to be impersonal or robotic; what made my blog successful from the beginning was my ability to share my story honestly and candidly. Writing is a huge part of who I am. But as the blog has grown, I’ve felt this internal conflict between what to share and what not to share. I think it’s something many bloggers can relate to. You go from having one reader to thousands of readers and suddenly you scrutinize every word on the page. I know a lot of bloggers chose not to share anything about their personal lives, which I respect entirely, but that has never felt like a good fit for my own style. I love to write and share about daily life. I guess it’s a balance that I’ll struggle with daily.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below on this topic of sharing and social media. Do you struggle with how much to share online?

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{ 71 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa May 15, 2015 at 9:35 am

It seems like every time I share too much personal information I get a backlash of unsolicited opinions, so I speak in general terms about my family. They are definitely more sacred than my blog, and I choose to not talk about it rather than try to develop a thick skin. It’s really too bad that a few nasty people have to ruin it, but that seems to be the way of the world any more.


Jjess May 15, 2015 at 9:49 am

Tough call!
I’ve never been comfortable posting photos of my daughter but find myself doing it more and more. It’s so easy to get caught up in feelings of want – to show the world you live, to meet others’ expectations that they can see it, to be open and comfortable online..

You’ve managed to take photos they describe how you see you daughter without showing her face, which is lovely.

Parenting choices expressed by women continue to be under so much scrutiny.. It really is a shame. As a vegan mom I can relate somewhat, and instead of explaining and engaging with people’s food related questions I usually answer them dismissively. I’ve been hurt by strangers and loved ones too many times to be vulnerable about that for now. Food is so key to who we are, and how we relate, that it deserves to be protected.

Thank you for sharing everything you do, our family has eaten well BECAUSE OF YOU!
Keep on strong mama.


Lana May 15, 2015 at 9:54 am

Hi Angela! So glad you’re back to posting. I read your post about raising your daughter and her diet when you first posted it, thought it was wonderful, and moved on. After reading this post, I went back to read the comments, and wow, the comments really turned dark at times. I would have reacted the same way as you and instantly pulled every photo of her sweet face. Although I am not a blogger, I am careful not to share too much information of my sweet girl on Facebook since people can share my posts and save her photos. I am a little less cautious on instagram (no photo sharing, etc). I love seeing sweet photos of your girl since ours is the same age and reaching similar milestones, but I would understand the cautiousness that comes with being more exposed to the public. Anyway, just thought I would let you know that I support the reaction to the earlier comments, as well as any choice you make. Hopefully, you’ll still continue posting sweet girl’s milestones and personality quirks. I love reading those :) And she’s a beauty, just like her mama :)


Alyssa May 17, 2015 at 2:21 pm

Just as a reminder- anything you put out on the internet can be shared by others. There are “regram” apps and screen shots that allow others to take your photos and share them. I do agree that facebook and other social media makes it easier to do this than instagram, but nothing is ever “yours” online.


Lana May 18, 2015 at 11:43 am

Agreed Alyssa!


Sara May 15, 2015 at 9:54 am

I get it, I really do. A big reason why I stopped blogging and erased my blog was that I felt uncomfortable enough on a random basis that I wasn’t sure what to share but felt insincere if I wasn’t fully open. I am sorry that a few folks crossed the line and may or may not have realized it or cared. I think it is easier for people to be rude on the internet but as comfortable as it is to dish it, it actually still feels really awful on the receiving end. Hope you find a comfortable middle ground again, I agree that part of your “brand” is your transparency. Thanks for sharing!


Kelly May 15, 2015 at 10:06 am

Ah, the sharing debate. With social media, it’s easy to share what you enjoy. Unfortunately, there’s always a line somewhere. Some have it drawn themselves, and others get it drawn by readers. I share cooking, my cats, my adventures of exploring my new state, and my artwork. I get silly comments from close friends that all I’m missing in my food is bacon, which I actually find quite entertaining, especially the bacon pictures they reply with. I do not, however, share any pictures of myself. Or any people for that matter. I also don’t mention my job much, which I do love, but it’s a personal choice. Personally, I love reading about your baby. I’d love to have one of my own, which may or may not be feasible for a few reasons. I won’t add to the debate, since I believe my lack of raising a child certainly makes me no expert on the subject of a baby’s diet. I enjoyed reading the post, as it gave me another perspective.


Natalie May 15, 2015 at 10:09 am

I’ve been reading your blog for years but never comment, but this completely resonates with me because I feel the exact same way.

When I became pregnant my husband and I had a serious conversation about sharing our baby on social media, and we decided against it completely. I feel so strongly about allowing my child to grow up without being broadcast to the world and to people I don’t know that could inadvertently “like” a picture, that baby just isn’t on there.

We never made any mention on even being pregnant on Facebook, and politely told people who did mention in a private conversation why we weren’t doing it. Since having baby, we share pictutes with friends and family on a private app, so they can still watch baby grow, but on our terms.

I’m vegetarian, but my husband isn’t, so we had the same conversation about baby’s future diet. We decided the same thing, so you’re not alone!

It’s refreshing that you’re taking the stance you are on privacy for your baby, and I applaud you for doing it. I love reading the updates because we’re right behind you, and I’m excited to know what my baby has to look forward to! Keep up the great work!!


Brittany May 15, 2015 at 10:35 am

This is absolutely something I struggle with. Writing about life online opens me up to criticism and I’ve become ok with that, but when others insult my family, I feel very mama bearish too. The tough part is that my blog is highly personal And that’s the writing I enjoy, but if the day comes where it just doesn’t feel right I will stop. Good luck with your decision and selfishly I hope you keep sharing! <3 :)


Ingunn May 15, 2015 at 11:16 am

My favorite bloggers are the ones that do share personal stories, otherwise I feel like I can’t connect with them! It’s a hard balance… I have a small blog that’s mostly about hiking, and I try to contain stuff about the baby to posts about our hikes with her, but…she’s just so adorable, and I want to share more, but then I feel guilty. In one way, I feel like it’s okay to share more stuff now that she’s just a baby, but once she starts to really grow into her personality and have more of a life of her own, I’ll dial it back.


Katie May 15, 2015 at 11:16 am

I will certainly miss the photos of your sweet daughter. I loved following your journey as we were pregnant at the same time, both had natural childbirth etc. My son is 6 months old and I’ve so appreciated your honesty on struggles with sleep, bottles, breastfeeding because it made me feel not so alone in these early struggles! With all that said, I’m super protective and my son has no online presence, so I completely understand how you feel and the decision you’ve made! You’re doing a great job Momma!!


Katie May 15, 2015 at 11:26 am

I agree with removing pictures of your daughter/her face. I have already made the conscious decision not to share photos of my children on social media, once I have children that is. It is the child’s choice. Even as a baby, that’s not my decision to make. I respect you as a blogger, a woman, a mother, a human being. I relate to you on so many levels. You’ve changed my life for the better. For real. I hope you keep sharing with us. It will probably be a struggle for awhile for you to decide what to share and how much to share. Just know that your readers understand and will always be here for you.


Jenn May 15, 2015 at 11:41 am

I have a lot of respect for you for doing that. It’s so hard and so sad at times. You are just trying to share your love and enthusiasm and your own learning along the way – and people are going to want to bring in hate, negativity and ignorance as well. I guess if you put yourself out there online, you now have to expect that. It’s something I’ve been mulling over as I would like to start a blog/site to share my own story and help others struggling with the same…but honestly, I am afraid of being so personal and open to anyone/everyone; and the negativity and backlash that can come with it. That’s hard enough in itself without even exposing other family members! I think the idea of a personal IG account for your friends and family if you want to still ‘share’ Adriana is a great idea. It’s sad you have to hide, but it is what it is. My own IG account is private; if I had a business, it would be public but I would still block users that weren’t right for me. The internet you can’t do that. People are vulnerable everyday and life is short, so don’t stress too much. The sad part is that people follow you for YOU, not just for your recipes or cookbook.

Please keep in mind that people’s harsh reactions often have nothing to do with YOU. It is the only way they know how to respond – with anger. That is an issue they will ultimately have to face themselves.


Jessica May 15, 2015 at 12:06 pm

As a long time reader, one of the things I really enjoyed about your blog over the years was how candid and open you were in your writing. Although I don’t have kids now (we’re in the “thinking about it for the not-so distant future” stage), I loved reading your updates about your pregnancy and now about your life as a new mom.

At first I was a little surprised that you were posting photos of your daughter early on as I remember waaay back you mentioned something about not posting kid photos on your blog (this was years and years ago). However, it was a nice personal touch and I always like seeing the “real life” side of my favourite food bloggers. When you took them down, I figured something was up and I understood completely when I read some of those horrible comments. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for your family and I completely respect that.

My blog is still pretty small, so I’m not sure what I’ll do when I have kids. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. :)


Lauren May 15, 2015 at 1:19 pm

Please keep sharing but agree about keeping pictures private. We have a 3 month old and also plan to not raise her vegan (her father isn’t although I am) but more default, since we eat vegan at home. I was glad to hear your perspective and don’t want you to stop sharing! We are also not sharing pictures online (but we’ll see how that goes since its only been 3 months).

Haters gone hate. Sorry you had to deal with that.


Celeste May 15, 2015 at 1:43 pm

I relate to this so well. I don’t have kids, but I started a blog this year and my number of Facebook friends has grown and grown. I feel like any time I post something I am opening myself up to comments. They are not always nice comments. In fact, often they are the opposite of what I need to hear. It is especially hard with your daughter because she is so young and innocent. You don’t want her brought into this. Thanks for your honesty.


Alexandra May 15, 2015 at 1:48 pm

Angela, I have always loved that you write about your personal experiences. It’s a huge part of your charm, and it has certainly made me feel as though I can connect with you as a reader. Some people are jerks, and I’m so sorry that they felt they could say such awful things to you. Just remember that there are lots of supportive readers out there! I love your baby posts and hope you keep writing about little Adriana. Your honesty about life with a new baby is truly refreshing.


Angela May 15, 2015 at 2:00 pm

I appreciate you all sharing your perspectives – really enjoying really everyone’s opinions. Glad I’m not alone in my struggles with it.


Melissa May 15, 2015 at 2:03 pm

I know I’m echoing what a lot of people have already said, but I was so disappointed by all the nasty comments you were receiving on that post. I can’t imagine how it must feel to put yourself out there like that and have people react like that. I totally understand needing to avoid posting for a while.
Just so you know, I really enjoy your blog. I have a daughter who’s a month younger than yours so I appreciated the “glimpses into the future”. Lol
Keep up the great work! I think you have way more supporters than haters, so Yay!


Sheryll May 15, 2015 at 2:04 pm

I can’t begin to tell you how much I enjoy your blog, recipes and your cookbook! It’s truly a shame that a good person such as yourself is thrown into the den of anonymous, faceless people who spread hatred as a result of their own opinions. My husband and I have experienced it ourselves and it does throw you for a loop…because it has some sort of lasting effect, simply because it was launched into the blogosphere for so many people to read. But take comfort in knowing that good people, like your fans, friends & family, don’t pay a damn bit of attention to the haters. I’m so glad to see that you’ve brushed yourself off and are back to making all of us followers happy campers!!! Hang tough and enjoy being a great mom and a wonderful source of enjoyment for all of us!


Svetlana May 15, 2015 at 2:19 pm

I completely understand and agree why you removed pictures of Adriana. I gave birth to my son just two weeks before Adriana was born, and I looooooooooooooooved reading your pregnancy updates as well as your honest/sincere posts about Adriana and your new life as a mommy! I can’t imagine how you felt when you read all these horrible and bitter comments, I would have done exactly what you did, and I am soooo sorry that you had to face that kind of scrutinization over your personal belief.

We have a lot of relatives across the world with whom we could easily share pictures on FB/Instagram but we decided not to share them for now on any social media.

I’d love to read more of your updates on Adriana, especially how its going with solids! :-)


Ceara @ Ceara's Kitchen May 15, 2015 at 4:10 pm

Angela, it’s great to see you back up posting here! I’ve enjoyed reading your baby posts since you began posted them! Love these wonderful little updates you share with us!!!


Lori May 15, 2015 at 4:13 pm

I hope you continue to share updates, but like many commenters, I agree with removing pictures. I have two little ones and really enjoy reading other people’s experience raising children. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing your parenting journey, but I feel like sharing pictures with the world is too much. I’m a hypocrite though, because I love seeing pics of other people’s kids, especially when the photography is so good, like yours! But I totally understand not wanting your child’s face all over the internet!


Cara May 30, 2015 at 8:56 am

Agreed! I’m totally guilty of appreciating other people’s cute picture when I refuse to post my own :-) (I don’t blog or Facebook, but every time I share a picture over email with friends and family, or when we’re with others who post I have to specify–just last week I had to ask a new friend to please take down a cute picture of my daughter he had taken (baby + dog = irresistible).)

But all that is to say–I really respect this decision, Angela, and I love hearing about your life, as much as you are comfortable sharing, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only “crazy” parent who doesn’t want my babies to have an online presence.


Lori June 1, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Yep, there’s a whole new world of etiquette out there now that everyone should abide by. It’s definitely not cool to post pics of other people’s kids without their permission. Even with adults. I’m not on Facebook and I’ve gotten upset with a friend in the past for posting pictures of me. Unfortunately, so many users of social media these days seem to have no desire for any privacy whatsoever, and therefore don’t even consider others’. The times, they are a changin’! It is comforting to know that not everyone on Earth wants to broadcast every moment of their life. Cheers!


Kel May 15, 2015 at 8:21 pm

I’ve seen several bloggers close the comments on sensitive posts. People can still interact with you on Facebook, but their name and picture will be attached to the post. I feel like a lot of people will write anonymous comments, but would be pretty embarrassed if the comments popped up in their newsfeed for friends and families to see.


Olya May 15, 2015 at 8:22 pm

I’ve been reading your blog for many years now, and I love how honest you’re and that this trait has not changed a bit in all these years. You’ve inspired me with your cooking and your attitude to life immensely. Thank you!
With regards to displaying baby’s face on the blog, I think that until your baby can express her will whether she wishes the whole world to see her face or not, just like with her diet, I think it’s best not to impose your choices on her and post photos like in this post. But it would be wonderful if you could continue to share her milestones and progress with us. I don’t have a baby yet, so I learn what to prepare myself for and also try to learn to adopt your wonderful attitude to life in my everyday life!


LN May 15, 2015 at 8:39 pm

I am also very private about what i share on social media especially regarding my daughter. I think you have a Beautiful style of writing that is very enjoyable to read. How sad that people have made you scrutinize what you write. Keep doing what you do, there are so many that love and support your work! Xxx.


Susan May 15, 2015 at 8:58 pm

I love reading your updates and was appalled by the reaction you got on how you are choosing to raise your daughter. Being a parent is sometimes extremely difficult. Someone will always try to make you feel like you are doing something wrong. Trust your gut and believe in yourself. Keep the updates coming they bring a smile to my heart and although I love to see her beautiful face I completely understand. Consider yourself ahead of time in parenting because as they age they do not allow you to share. Mine are late teens early twenties and Im never allowed to post anything anymore. It was hard to learn to respect their privacy after so many years of sharing and talking about their accomplishments but they are their own person.


Nicole of Raspberry Stethoscope May 15, 2015 at 9:56 pm

Grrrrrr, PLEASE don’t stop!! i love the baby updates–i check them everyday!! F the haters!!


Sarah May 16, 2015 at 1:27 am

I’ve read your blog for awhile but never commented until now. I love your stories and have read your baby & pregnancy posts multiple times. I also agree with removing the photos and think you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Photos of your daughter on the internet might not be it but that doesn’t diminish your blog at all. Those comments you received were awful and uncalled for but I hope you won’t stop writing about being a mom. It’s a big part of what makes your blog such a pleasure to read!

For what it is worth, my husband and I also decided not to put photos of our child on social media. We have several close friends and family who only post photos in which you can’t see their children’s face. I figure that’s a fair compromise. Blogs that use their children as advertisements makes me very uncomfortable and i’ve stopped reading a few for this reason. Not that you ever did that, but there’s a line there and I know which side I’d rather been on!


Mieke May 16, 2015 at 2:44 am

Dear Angela,
Your blog is fantastic, with and without baby pictures and stories. Your creative expression in your writing and recipes has helped so many people around the world (I’m from the Netherlands for example), that whatever you decide to share will be loved by many. Keep on sharing from your heart, whether that includes stories of your beautiful girl or not, I’m convinced that your blog will remain pure awesomeness!


Franziska May 16, 2015 at 5:01 am

I enjoy reading your blog since 4 years. And the reasons are not only the recipes but even more the personal little things you share. Oh – how much i loved when you posted about your gardening experience, about birthdays, when you had friends over for dinner, vacations etc. I think it is so awesome, so real and fun to read. Your advice and stories are important! Angela, you are an extraordanary person, your are beautiful, smart and strong – so of course there are haters and envier. I really hope you won’t stop sharing.


Mrs G May 16, 2015 at 9:08 am

Angela, I love your blog. Especially the baby part. My baby is only a few weeks older than yours and it has been interesting to read you. Not to make comparisons, just to see another baby. I’m so sorry that some people responded badly about your choice of including animal products in Adriana diet. Your blog is really nice to read, even for me, a person who eats a paleo diet. I was toying with vegetarianism in the past (that’s how I came across to your blog) but it became clear that I don’t do well on grains and pulses, so I had to increase my meat and fish consumption in order not to starve. This means that I can’t make most of your recipes (not many are vegan and paleo), but I’m still a huge fan of you. Keep up the good work!


Sarah May 16, 2015 at 11:35 am

I was wondering where your baby updates had gotten to! I’m a vegan with a 4-month old baby who I’m also planning on bringing up vegetarian. I was enjoying reading your updates, partly as they seemed to correlate very closely with my baby’s developments so it was a good insight into what was coming up!

I hope you will feel able to share more about your lovely baby, but I totally understand why you would want to protect her (and yourself) if not. xx


Linda May 16, 2015 at 3:32 pm

I was absolutely shocked and horrified when I first read all the hateful comments you received when you wrote about not raising Adriana a vegan, but allowing her to decide for herself when she gets older. It was nothing but an attempt at public shaming – and shame on them. I thought you were reasoned and sensible, and that your decision would encourage her to see that there are choices people can make – while protecting her from not looking at her father or anyone else as if they are doing something which deserved her disapproval. It felt to me as if the reaction was kind of like a swarming. It seemed a very organized (really, where have we seen any comments by these strangers before in reaction to anything you’ve written about before?) and aimed at hurting you – for what? For having an opinion about how you want to raise your child? Really?

My heart went out to you because you (and Eric) are brand new parents, likely very sleep deprived, and working so hard to make this web-site a go-to place for people who are veggie-curious – like me – and I have totally jumped on the bandwagon (at 65!) I found you by lucky accident a couple of years ago, was hooked by your breezy writing style and have rapidly morphed from Meatless Mondays to vegetarian, to sometimes pescetarian, but mostly vegetarian – and I am so grateful for the health benefits I’m enjoying and for all your delicious and easy to make recipes. Have I bought your book? – you bet – and I’ve given several to friends and relatives as well. My husband will eat anything if it’s one of your recipes! We trust you.

Whatever decision you make regarding photos of Adriana will be the right one.

Now I’m off to make (I’m not kidding! The family is coming for dinner tonight!) your Veggie Kabobs with Green Goddess dressing, your Smashed Potatoes with Garlic Avocado Aioli, your “Our Favourite Veggie Burgers” and for dessert, I’m trying for the first time, your Beat the Heat Frozen Dessert Pizza. And in my fridge right now I have Almond Milk, and your Present Glo Bars. Addicted? Maybe. Thanks for that!

All the very best.


Ana Maria May 16, 2015 at 9:11 pm

This is a lovely comment!


Jillian May 22, 2015 at 10:22 am

Agreed, wonderful comment!!

As far as sharing photos of your little sweetie, I have to say I do not share any of my son (18 months) either. My husband was the one who first was completely against it, and I thought, “goodness, someone’s overprotective!” but I am now very glad he insisted :-) I only email family and close friends pictures/videos so I can share his milestones with those I want and no one else.

I am very glad you chose to continue your updates, as I very much enjoy reading them!

Be well!


Meg May 16, 2015 at 8:23 pm

Thank you so much for sharing. I have a little one just a few weeks behind your’s (she s also our first) and I have loved reading your updates. I found them comforting/re-assuring that having a baby, being a mom, is not easy. It repulses me to hear that some people an be so judgmental and vial towards other’s parenting choices. 99.99999% of parents agonize over doing what is best for their child/family. While I’m not a blogger, I struggle with hoe many pictures to put on social media. I don’t know if there is a right answer! Thank you for sharing your journey into motherhood. I hope you continue to share; I know I would continue to respectfully and silently read. Thank you.


Jacquelynn May 16, 2015 at 9:17 pm

I’m so glad you are back! I have absolutely loved and looked forward to your baby posts. Whatever you decide to do, I will read. I think you are an awesome mother, writer, cook, etc. and I hope you don’t let a few negative people keep you from sharing and doing what you love. xo


Joanell May 16, 2015 at 11:41 pm

First let me say that I absolutely love your recipe blog. I have had so much fun exploring all your offerings and sharing them with my family. I admire your talents so much!
I was dismayed to see the direction things were going with that particular post about “being vegan”… but also not surprised.
I am old enough to be your mom… and yet when I read your posts about the wondrous things your daughter is doing, as well as the struggles you have as a new mom, it takes me right back to being a new mom to my own daughter, who will be 28 this month. It seems like yesterday. I like to think things are the same now as they were back then, but this latest exchange of views illustrates that they most definitely are not.
When my daughter was born, there was no internet, no blogs, no home computers. No social media, no cellphones. I could go on, and you’ve probably heard it from your own parents… but 28 years ago, people did not communicate in the way they do now.
Just think of how our communications have changed from a certain way for so long. The written word on paper, delivered by some physical means was pretty much the only way to send a message for hundreds of years. The telephone was around for another few decades… and then we have the explosion of electronic media. Just look at how things have changed in the last ten years alone!
People have not had a chance to adopt universal codes of conduct, or to even formulate a framework of how to approach sharing. Social media has washed over all of us in an overwhelming tide. Our small circle of friends and family has expanded to a worldwide audience. How is it possible to have a seamless, conflict-free interaction with absolutely everyone we reach?
I think at first, when we first begin to share and put ourselves out there, and get a bit of positive feedback, it is rewarding and exciting. (How many people constantly check facebook to see how many likes they get on a post?) It is natural to think that those we are writing to have the same view and thought process. There is an unspoken trust we have when we share on blogs, or social media. We trust that our words will be taken as we mean them, that we will be treated as we would treat others, and when that trust is violated, it hurts. Because you are writing to the world, and yet completely isolated from your audience in the physical sense, you are not able to interpret the body language of the reader. In turn, the reader is not able to ask for clarification or discuss something as the blog unfolds, allowing misunderstandings to deepen.
I think electronic communication allows for a false sense of intimacy. It is easy to imagine that readers are of the same value and mindset, that they are all nice people, that nobody has an axe to grind. The unfortunate reality is that there are people who are quick to take offense, or to condemn those who do not live or think as they do, and they are not shy about going for the jugular. After all, they are enjoying the same kind of physical isolation from their audience that makes it possible for you to write to millions of strangers! Social media, the internet, all that, has suddenly made it easy to publicly shame anyone we choose, justified or not. Careers have been destroyed and even lives!
I imagine that for someone like you, a good person, giving and helpful and full of love of life,
the dark side of all of this cuts deeply. And it certainly is worse when your daughter is inadvertently brought into it. Suddenly the reality of the fact that there are people out there happy to hide online and condemn those whose views differ from their own is all too plain.
I think you are wise to shield your child from the online world. If things continue to progress as they have been, she will be making her own decisions about what she chooses to share on her own. And hopefully by then we will have evolved some sort of social framework or etiquette about how much to share, and how to respond.
Probably alot of blather from an out of touch 54 year old….but I hope this gives you another way of thinking about it. I hope the experience does not stop you from posting… I will admit to being old fashioned and encourage you to continue to protect your daughter’s privacy.
I just remembered that I refused to allow a videotape of our wedding in 1984 because it was “too crass and pushy”….. kind of regret that now, but then who has VHS anymore, anyway??
All the best to you.


Sue May 17, 2015 at 11:25 am

The picture you’ve put up is so cute!! What a little sweetie! And good on you for protecting her. In the end whatever you decide will be right because you put so much thought and care into your decision. It’s a sacred trust being her parent, there will be a million things you can’t control as she gets older so good on you for doing what you feel is right whilst she is small.


Alyssa May 17, 2015 at 2:35 pm


Your blog is amazing, I’ve been reading it ever since friends and I used to browse your recipes during boring lectures and plan our girls night dinners.
I think sharing online is always a bit of a gamble- whether it be personal stories or photos. I think you really have to develop a thick skin in order to do so. I know I personally couldn’t handle the negative comments. So kudos to you!
I think what I’ve enjoyed most about your blog is your transparency- the way you write about your real-life experiences in a most humble way without generalizing or shaming the rest of us for doing things differently. I would be really torn (but understanding) to see you change that heartfelt writing style. However, while your beautiful photography often conveys similar sentiments to your writing, I think whatever choice you make about Adriana will be the correct one. Protecting her (and you) from hateful comments is very important. It will also become increasingly important as she gains more of her own personality and more agency over her choices. While I love looking at photos of people’s sweet children, I also understand when they choose not to share. I think that sometimes looking at celebrities and how they handle photos of their children provides good examples. Beyonce and Jay Z have avoided posting Ivy Blue’s face on social media (at least until recently, now that she’s a bit older). The Beckhams have also been protective about posting photos of their children until the children are older. They find creative ways to include their children without showing much of their face.

Long story short, go all mama-bear on social media – erase photos, avoid sharing stories of Adriana-if you need to. As with other aspects in life, it’s about finding the balance that makes you happy. And it takes time and practice to achieve what feels balanced for ourselves and our families. So while my vote would be to follow in the footsteps of Beyonce and the Beckhams and include your child in your writing and posts, while protecting her, I also understand any other option you choose to take.


Tiffany27 May 17, 2015 at 4:54 pm

People have wrote lots of beautiful and insightful comments so I’ll just say “You do you girl!” Your real fans will be here supporting you and the decisions YOU and the decisions you make for YOUR family.


AGS May 17, 2015 at 9:36 pm

Sorry to hear how hurtful those comments ended up being.

I happen to think the internet is a nastier version of the in-person world. In day-to-day in-person interactions, folks often keep their thoughts to themselves. But the blog world is a wild west anything-goes with your opinion. I believe you keep your personal life out of the public eye. Follow the pattern of the Royals – a few select, agreed photos for public consumption, and that’s it. Add on to that some of the creepier aspects, and I say keep your kids out of easy viewing. And frankly, I just don’t get why you want to share intimate details with complete strangers. If you wouldn’t show the photo/tell the story to everyone in the check-out line, then don’t put it online.

That said, I don’t think our little ones will view social media and internet the same as we do. Their sense of self will probably be different with so much photo sharing from birth onward. So, for those that are sharing/posting, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal in the end.


Megan May 17, 2015 at 10:27 pm

My baby is a month older than Adriana and my husband and I chose not to share photos of our daughter online. Your Mama instinct is always right when it comes to protecting your baby and your family. It’s ok if others don’t understand.


Kelly P May 18, 2015 at 3:46 am

It’s a question we all struggle with, particularly when we become parents. My husband and I decided on a very minimal sharing approach with regards to our daughter, but didn’t exclude sharing photos entirely (we post 1 picture every few months, to give you an idea. No naked pictures or other pictures that might embarrass her later on). Is that the right decision? Maybe not. But since we enjoy seeing our friends’ and families’ pictures so much, we figured we could share a little as well.
I find it interesting though that so many people seem to agree that sharing pictures is out, but sharing lots of personal, written details about one’s children is somehow less of a violation of their intimacy. I’d be inclined to say the opposite. That’s what has blocked me from starting a blog over the years. I’m much like you (I think, after reading your blog for several years!) in the sense that I’m quite an open book when it comes to sharing with others, as least in the real world. I think if I were to have a blog, it would have the same degree of openness. Yet I’ve just never been comfortable with doing that with a world of people I don’t know, for all the reasons your other readers have listed.
That said, I entirely agree with those who have said that your open, intimate posts are what have made me hooked on your blog! And I have looooved your baby posts. My daughter is 18 months and they have helped me relive her early days. Now I’m expecting my second and your posts are a good reminder of what’s to come. It’s always fascinating (and helpful) to see how other parents deal with the many challenges and joys of parenting.
The choice is yours and Eric’s alone. Baby posts or not, I’ll still be a loyal reader. :-)
Good luck with the 2nd cookbook! Can’t wait to taste the recipes.


Janine May 18, 2015 at 11:01 am

The internet has completely changed people’s understanding of privacy. I am a nurse at sick kids for the last 32 years. When I started there parents used to ask me questions about other children, their diagnosis etc. I had to explain that the parents of these patients could answer these questions directly but I could not because of privacy issues. They often felt a little confused by this and sort of thought it was “overkill” after all they were all in the same boat why would anyone be hesitant to share this information? Fast forward to now and no parent ever asks any questions about another child and completely understand the whole privacy issue completely. I think everyone has experienced some sort of violation on way or another. We have all examined our own views on this subject with many people becoming more private as a result. I loved seeing the pictures of your little girl and your stories but I completely respect your decision. I will never understand why people are so judgemental of decisions and choices others make make when it doesn’t affect them directly. I think you do a perfect job of putting information out there so people can make different choices. I am not vegan but I eat a lot more plant based meals as a result of you and your website. I don’t feel pressured or judged. I am very grateful to you for your recipes/thoughts and insights I feel like it allows me to live a better life.


Heather Jeter May 18, 2015 at 12:17 pm

I am so happy you posted this. I am a plant-based mommy too with a 15 month old baby girl. I blog about my journey of becoming a “vegan” and raising her that way. I have only shared one photo of her face and will continue to only show one a year. Trust me, it has been a battle of defending that decision with others but I try to brush it off. You are mom and you get to make any decision you want (including daddy too :)). I try to remember that every time I am badgered by anyone telling me that I need to “share”. The internet and social media can be scary.
Regardless of what anyone thinks, your child is your child. Do what is best for you and your family. Babies are still real even if they aren’t plastered all over the internet for everyone to see.
I am glad to see other parents that are a little bit more cautious about photo sharing and want to tell you how much reading your post has helped me reassure myself that I am not alone in my thinking.
Kudos to you for all of your success and your beautiful family!


Julie May 18, 2015 at 12:23 pm

I was afraid that was why you hadn’t posted anything about her since that post. I can’t say I blame you, but those posts are definitely my favorite & I sure miss them.


Erin May 18, 2015 at 12:58 pm

Hi Angela,

I’m not much for posting comments, but I felt compelled to after reading this post.

I have really enjoyed reading your posts about both pregnancy and life with a baby. I found your blog shortly after you announced your pregnancy, which happened to be right after I became pregnant. I greatly admire your strength to share all you do. As my daughter is about 6 weeks younger than yours, it’s been like a sneak peek for me as to what’s ahead.

I’m so sorry you received unpleasant comments regarding some of your decisions. It’s a shame that some people find it difficult to respect parental decisions. I love how your posts are open and honest, while at the same time recognizing that everyone needs to make the best choices for their own family and lifestyle.

My husband and I have chosen not to post pictures of our baby. At least not yet. But, I have to say, your personal stories keep me reading your blog. I greatly admire your work, and wish I had the courage to add more personal stories to my own blog.

i look forward to future posts, and your next book!


Nicole May 18, 2015 at 6:16 pm

This is such a difficult topic to deal with and I applaud you for being honest and brave in the situation. Social media is crazy and I think that when it comes to posting about your children, you have to do what is best for your family. My sister-in-law has a blog and she is an author and she recently had to remove a lot of personal info because of a scare she had involving her kids. She still posts on her personal instagram and facebook but she created a specific “fan” page where she only shares about her work and not about her personal life. Its a hard balance because you want to share but you also want to keep your kiddos safe. Do what you and your hubby think is best!!


Christi May 19, 2015 at 9:52 am

I love your blog! I started reading it when you announced your pregnancy – it had me hooked! Then I found out you had a book, (bought and love it!) – I love your blog completely! Especially being pregnant with #3, it is such a breath of fresh air to find momma bloggers to relate with. My favorite quote: “People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you”. Big hugs to you.


sue May 19, 2015 at 1:57 pm

Angela, you are Great at letting people into parts of your life. I could never do it, but I applaud you. And, because I so look forward to baby updates, I hope you choose to continue. However, I certainly respect any decision you make. Keep up the good work. You seem to be great at parenting and I love your blog and cookbook; they are my go-to(s)!!


Courtney May 20, 2015 at 11:23 am

I have read your blog for years, then at some point in late 2013, I became pregnant, and between school work and life i hadn’t checked your blog in a loooooong time! I was beyond delighted when I checked it again late one night a few months back, and saw you had a baby too! My baby was born just 2 weeks before yours, so everything you write about now i can totally relate! I’m also breastfeeding, and work from home… I’m shocked at what people have said and I am sorry you’re having to deal with it, but you’re handling it so well! I’m not a vegan, in fact, i probably have the worst diet ever, but the beautiful thing about “Mommy Milk” is that its perfect, even when our diets aren’t. (Yes, i have eaten peanut m&ms for b’fast and much worse)..
Keep up the wonderful work that you do, and thank you for providing great reading entertainment while I’m nursing at 12am! :)

P.S. You’re beautiful and so is your sweet precious baby! You’re Glowing!!! LOL


Camillia May 20, 2015 at 3:21 pm

hmm i am not a mother so my opinion doesn’t hold much weight, but i think less is more on this topic. i’ve taken classes about mediated communication and how we’ve become tethered versions of ourselves to the internet, which in some ways is for our or our family’s detriment. i think for those who don’t have a broad audience, sharing photos and stories is probably harmless. however, you’re a public figure and unfortunately you’re that much more susceptible to scrutiny and just plain cruelty! i think it’s pretty lame that after you’ve shared so much from your struggles with an eating disorder to your daughter’s birth story, that your so-called followers gave you backlash about a personal decision. but that’s the way of the world. you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. i kind of figured that’s why you stopped posting and shoot i would have too. but glad to see you and your family are doing well! keep on keeping on. :)


ac May 21, 2015 at 9:29 pm

I think you might like reading all these articles: http://verilymag.com/pregnancy-announcement-social-media/




MamaWatson May 22, 2015 at 11:44 am

Well, her profile and top-knot are pretty adorable too!


Melissa May 22, 2015 at 10:36 pm

I love your blog! Your little one is just a few months older than mine and I kind of get a preview of milestones to expect when you’ve blogged about her. I completely understand being protective when some insensitive people get all political and nasty on your site…some people seem to think the internet is just a place to be completely unsolicited and voice their every thought – without having to experience the person on the other end… it can be downright mean. I think we need to remember to have some manners and respect. This is your site and it is awesome! I have a vegetarian spouse and I am a bit more flexible…we will not be labelling our son either. Food is so personal and what goes into our body is very personal. I think it’s important not to judge others on what they chose to put into their bodies….or how people raise their kids. Being a new Mom I am realizing there are opinions of “right ways” and “wrong ways” to raise my baby flying around me, all the time. You’re a great Mama and you create great recipes :) Thanks for sharing!


Danielle May 23, 2015 at 7:15 am

I think you’re doing a great job, and have made the right decision for limited sharing. I always think, would I have wanted my own parents to post baby photos of me over the internet, in real-time as I was growing up? For me, the answer is no. I like the idea that my parents didn’t shape the world’s understanding of me, but that I grew into it myself.


Jen May 28, 2015 at 12:34 am

Love your updates but totally understand your point of view and protective mama instincts – you have to do what’s right for your family. On a side note, This pic of A brought back some hilarious memories of when I bought the same sleeper for my little one and it shrunk so badly I was trying to squeeze her into it like a sausage before my husband insisted it was bordering on cruel and made me give up… It looks adorable on Adrianna though!


Kathleen May 29, 2015 at 11:28 pm

My husband and I had the same discussion when our son was born (now 6 months old). How much to share? Should we post pictures? How can we update family and friends who live miles away?

We decided not to post on Facebook (note: this entire discussion was much easier, since neither of us has a widely-read blog), but we’ve bent that rule a couple of times, trying – as you are doing – to show cute feet or the back of the stroller with the setting… something besides his face. In addition, we make sure not to post what we think might be “personally identifiable information” about him online. It’s so hard these days, when other mommy friends are posting pictures of their little ones. A large part of me wants to share back!

Instead, we set up an account with a private “baby book” app that allows access on an invitation-only basis to family and friends. It’s working well for us so far, and I love reading the comments there.

I have enjoyed all of your baby updates (especially when we’re going through a phase a few months after you posted about it and I think back and say, “Nope, it’s ok – this is normal!”), and seeing what a beautiful and happy little baby Adriana is. But, I’m glad you will continue to do what you feel is best for your family, and completely support you in that! (Not that you need my support… but I’m sending good vibes your way, all the same.)


Linda June 4, 2015 at 2:30 pm

I fully support you! People really need to step back and realize that everyone has the right to choose his or her own path without fear of being attacked by others. Holdyour head high, protect your little precious one and please continue to bring us wonderful recipes and terrific food for thought.


Tania June 8, 2015 at 11:27 am

When sharing publicly is about your child,it really is a super personal decision between you and your partner. You are in a tough spot, because part of the reason your blog is so successful if because you share your personal life, but do you want to expand that to your child? Most people love to see and hear about babies and will push you to share. However, like all parenting decisions, you have to trust your mommy instincts, do what’s right for your child and do what feels right for you as a family. You can’t worry about other people’s opinions (even from those you love!). My son is now six and I still struggle with how to (gracefully) handle other’s opinions about how I should raise my child. You know your child and family and what is best for them. Always let that be your guide and you will never fail.


Rachael June 18, 2015 at 9:11 pm

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. My daughter is two months younger than yours and it was a real struggle for me at first. She to refused a bottle, pacifier, etc. your updates made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my struggles. So, thanks for sharing!


Jessica August 14, 2015 at 11:10 am

I just read through several comments on the post you wrote about whether you would raise your sweet girl vegan. How hurtful many of those comments must have been. I think many mothers would have gone into protective defensive mommy mode. Hell *I* went into protective defensive mode while reading them and I am not even a mother! It’s great that people have a voice for the voiceless (in this case the animals) but I just wish that it didn’t always come down to vegans shaming non-vegans because of the CHOICES they make. It gets hateful very quickly and I don’t know when it became okay to judge others for their choices, especially when it comes to a decision that I’m certain wasn’t easy for you.

You provide people with countless vegan recipes through your blog and cookbook and then when you share how you and Eric have decided to go about Adriana’s nutrition, you’re ripped apart by some very VERY judgmental people. I’m sorry you had to go through something like that and I applaud you. As a mother, a woman and an awesome vegan cook, keep doing what you’re doing and hopefully you continue to encounter more positive, supportive people than the shaming haters. Keep shining bright, Angela!


Elisabeth August 20, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Hello Angela !

I’m sorry to hear you received such harsh comments following some of your posts. One of the things I like most about your blog (other than the delicious recipes and the funny style style in which you write ;)) is how you share your thoughts, opinions and choices without ever pretending to know best or to own the absolute truth. Whenever I read your blog, it feels like you are telling me «here’s what I did, why, and how it worked out for me» rather than «here’s what I think everyone should do» and thanks to that, I don’t feel uncomfortable disagreeing with you from time to time and I can read your blog without feeling judged or judgemental myself even when I don’t share your point of view. Anyway, it’s not like anyone is forced to read it, right ? Personnally, I enjoy having a peek into a real-busy-working-vegan-mom’s everyday life, even and especially because you don’t always make the choices I would make, and I’m curious to see how it turns out for you. I guess I just hope that you manage not to let a few loud hateful words overpower the larger, but often much quieter, support of people who truly appreciate your work.


Milca October 6, 2015 at 4:57 pm


It has been a while since I have read your blog. Was an avid reader/follower while in college but then life took place. ha I have a 15 month old and cannot even imagine the negative things ppl would comment. I am so sorry for such shitty ppl you and and baby girl don’t deserve it. I will be reading more regularly even if I have to do it at work (ha) but I understand what you mean. I don’t even know how I would react about negativity towards my baby girl. How is that even possible. Adriana is beautiful and such a happy baby. Good Luck to you!


Megan October 6, 2015 at 9:00 pm

I haven’t been keeping up on my blog list lately. Logged in today and stumbled across this unfortunate post. Looks like I’m adding this blog to a growing list of food blogs I’ve unfollowed as a result of losing interest once focus shifts to the blogger’s spawn.

Truly, do you think anyone cares about whether or not your kid’s face is shown on the blog? I’m really not intending that as a mean-spirited comment but an honest question. Who cares. It’s a blog. They’re photos. What do you think is going to happen? I used to come here for fun recipes and inspiration. Now the blog is full of self-righteous “mama-bear” drivel and countless novel-length posts about an infant I couldn’t care less about. If you don’t want to share stuff about your kid, or your travels, or the area in which you live (using instances of stuff other bloggers have dangled in front of readers only to later yank away) then simply do not mention it at all. This sad mind-game bloggers play (write 10,000 posts about child, take deeply personal offense at the first mildly negative comment received, completely fly off the handle and write 10,000 more posts about how awful it is to be a blogger with a child that people *gasp* comment on) is old and tired. You are neither the first nor the last blogger to have a child. It simply is not a big deal.

I’d also love to see a veggie-friendly blog written by a strong & independent woman who has no desire to become a mother. I’m sure this would please those women going through infertility issues as well as women like me who simply have zero interest in what foods a strange infant can and cannot eat. I’ve read around the baby posts but it’s difficult to successfully avoid comments and stories about children once a blogger gives birth and the blog inevitably becomes focused mainly on the child and how the blogger is handling having the child around.

Again – not intending this to be mean-spirited. Just trying to give some honest insight from one of your long-time readers who is headed out the door. Go ahead, comment “good riddance” all you want – I won’t be back to follow up so no need to rant or argue or tell me how wrong and awful I am.


Mima November 23, 2015 at 9:40 pm

Dear, I bought your cookbook first and only came to your blog now after LOOOOOVING your recipes. We’ve gone from vegetarian to vegan, me, hubby, our 2 year old toddler and 8 month baby, we have never eveeeeer, eveeeerrr been or felt so healthy our children have a very similar diet to Adriana we get vitamin D from sunshine lots of omegas from chia and flaxseeds, let haters hate, they are just afraid of what they are doing to their own children. Let us share our love and thanks for what you are doing and our love to you and your gorgeous family, Mima


Candi May 1, 2016 at 2:36 pm

I have spent the afternoon reading about your journey during pregnancy and Motherhood. It reminded me of when I was pregnant and a new Mom over 40 years ago. I am deeply saddened that people responded hatefully to your sharing your choice of diet for your beautiful daughter. It is a very personal decision. I admire that you are giving her an opportunity to try a variety of foods. Some parent get so hung up on making all of their children’s decision that they forget that they have minds of their own that need to be nurtured and allowed freedom of choice. I decided 3 weeks ago that I would no longer participate in the maltreatment of animals. I also am gluten, soy and sugar free My husband’s first response was “pretty soon you won’t have anything to eat. My husband is enjoying the variety of foods that we eat and quite surprised at how good the meals are. Your blog has been an integral part of my journey. Thanks so much for sharing.


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