Fuel Your Day

by Angela (Oh She Glows) on August 24, 2010

Sometimes I forget how far I have come since struggling with an eating disorder.

From the age of 11 until 25 I fought the battle. A battle I thought I would never be free from.

Many times, I gave up and I accepted my fate. I told myself that I would, for the rest of my life, have this struggle with food, my body, and myself. I would always count calories. I would always cringe when I looked at my body in a mirror. I would always obsess. I would always binge.

And I would always be hungry.

Other people could eat enough food, but I was somehow different from them and less deserving.

Many times, I actually tricked myself into thinking that I actually wanted this way of life. Because the alternative, was foreign. And really scary.

And fattening.

But I was wrong.

I couldn’t wake up and eat breakfast like other people did (did they really?, I would wonder). I wasn’t like them.

But I was wrong.

For years and years, my breakfast consisted of nothing.

I couldn’t eat until after my workout was complete. I wasn’t like other people who could wake up and eat breakfast. I had to earn it first.

After my workout my breakfast consisted of this:


I could rattle off the nutritional information of an apple to you as if I was reciting the letters of the alphabet. I could for most foods actually. It was rare when I didn’t know the nutritional profile of a food. All of my thoughts were preoccupied by this.


Now, I’m not knocking the delicious apple here. It really is a great snack. For my active lifestyle, it simply wasn’t close to being enough fuel for my body.

I was hungry all morning long. I yawned a lot. No amount of sleep can cure an empty stomach.

When I decided that being miserable was getting old and I wanted to recover, breakfast was still the most difficult meal for me to eat. I managed to increase my food intake later on in the day, but for some reason it was so hard for me to have a healthy and filling breakfast.

Little by little, I managed to get past my breakfast fear. Green Monsters were a huge part of getting over this fear.


For once in my life, I had fun with breakfast. I was experimenting and making all kinds of crazy concoctions. I felt great. I had tons of energy and I was excited for breakfast again. My breakfasts have gone from being a small snack to a filling and healthy meal.

For breakfast this morning, I enjoyed Chocolate Pumpkin Vegan Overnight Oats!


Want to know another awesome benefit of adding pumpkin to your Vegan Overnight Oats?

It adds a ton of volume!

When I add pumpkin, I increase the volume by at least 30-40%. Pumpkin is also high in Vitamin A, C, Iron, and has 3.5 grams of fibre per 1/2 cup.


In this mix = 1/3 cups oats, 1.25 cups Almond Milk, 1/2 cup pumpkin, 1.5 tbsp chia seeds, 1 pinch pumpkin pie spice, 1/2 serving Amazing Grass Chocolate Amazing Meal Power.

Toppings included = Cranberries, unsweetened coconut, and 1/2 tbsp coconut butter mixed with 1/2 tbsp pure maple syrup.


Healthy fuel for a busy day ahead! :)

Have you ever dramatically changed the way you eat such as by increasing/decreasing your intake, switching to a new eating lifestyle, or breaking out of a rut?

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{ 146 comments… read them below or add one }

JenATX August 24, 2010 at 8:11 am

i love hearing that you have learned to love breakfast! thanks for letting the bloggers out there that embracing a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to happen over night :)


Jessica @ How Sweet August 24, 2010 at 8:11 am

I’ve been so blessed that I’ve never had an ED so I never really dramatically altered the way I ate. But once I hit about 16-17 yrs old and realized the purpose of “volume” foods is when things really began to change for me!


Jenn @ LiveWellFitNow August 24, 2010 at 8:16 am

About two years ago I was a very different person. My thoughts were, like yours, obsessed with numbers, nutrient profiles, should I or should I not, can I or can’t I. Everyday I fought against the desire to eat. My mind was filled with that world and there was barely any room left to enjoy life, my friends, my now husband or my family.

And then it all changed…I was tired and done! I was ready to change but I had no idea how. Very slowly, oh so very slowly I began. One morning I got up and made a bowl of cereal. I didn’t measure it, I didn’t think about what was in it. I didn’t care if there was sugar. I just wanted a bowl of cereal and it was the best moment I had had in such a long long time!

Now I eat to live well and I eat to nourish my body. I’m still learning, I’m still improving. But now I can soak up so many more moments in my day! :)


Nicole @ Making Good Choices August 24, 2010 at 8:16 am

I never had an ED, but I did deprive myself of foods that I considered to be too high in calories or fat, like nut butters. Now I enjoy them in my oats, granola bars, on apples. It took awhile to get out of that mindset but I’m glad i did.


Leianna August 24, 2010 at 8:19 am

For the past 8 years I was just like that, thinking I would never be full or happy around food. This summer I hit the bottom and my mother and MIL had an intervention and since then I have eaten 3 healthy meals a day and felt great. “Normal” eating was so foreign to me and scared me as well! I no I’m only one month into this new pattern but hope to continue on for a long time and never go back to that sadness and rules of food!


Natasha August 24, 2010 at 2:40 pm


Recovery from an ED is the battle of a lifetime, but it is one that is conquered one day at a time.
Congratulations on your one month of recovery-life is so much sweeter ED free. You can do it!


Nicole - yuppie yogini August 24, 2010 at 8:22 am

I can relate to this! A year ago I ate no breakfast and had a Luna bar and fruit for lunch. Then id work out 90 minutes a day. My diet has really changed and now I avoid packaged food, eat mostly organic, and have cut back on the excessive workouts. Ive gained a lot of weight in the process and am trying to find a balance, but I’m moving on the right direction!


banandrea August 24, 2010 at 8:23 am

I love this post- thank you :)
Personally, my intake looks dramatically different than it did a year ago, as does my attitude toward food. Like you, I had to “earn” all of my food at the height of my eating disorder- and when I “earned” it what I had was “low fat” this or “low calorie” that- artificial sweeteners and veggies/fruits making up the bulk of my meals. Not that there’s anything wrong with fruits and veggies (obviously, they are deeeeeelicious!) but I can now employ balance and moderation in a post-eating disordered daily intake! I now truly believe that food is delicious, necessary and enjoyable- and that I can really have any food I want in moderation regardless of my activity level. The freedom is astonishing, as I’m sure you know, and it’s nice to know that what I’m doing is right for my body!


Lizzie August 24, 2010 at 8:23 am

This doesn’t really answer your question, but I would be absolutely lost without breakfast. I seriously can’t be myself, be attentive, be present, if I haven’t had that first meal of the day. I never understood why someone would skip it! And why Americans want to eat donuts for it!! :)


Jane August 24, 2010 at 8:24 am

I guess losing 146lbs of weight must mean I radically altered my eating. I made some big changes which included:
*viewing my relationship with food like an addicts addiction so cut out foods that I couldn’t eat in a reasonable way- so cut out cheese
*switched dinner plates to smaller size
*wrote down everything I ate and reflected on whether I had felt hungry or not !
*Not thinking I was on a diet – but rather this is the way I choose to eat
*got a grip on portion sizes
* ate breakfast
*watched carbs
*discovered porridge/oats !
and discovered not only is this the way I choose to eat but I love my food choices and even ditched the diet coke and all ‘diet’ foods I was stunned to discover that the diet industry uses aspartamine as a sweetner which is an appetite stimulant !!!


Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday August 24, 2010 at 8:26 am

Wow, Jane! That’s amazing that you were able to lose so much weight and change your relationship with food. Way to go!


schmei August 24, 2010 at 9:49 am

“Not thinking I was on a diet – but rather this is the way I choose to eat”

Amen. Because a “diet” is usually for a set amount of time, and then when you’re finished with the diet one goes back to all the bad habits… That’s the mindset I’m working on. I just want healthy habits that I can stick with. It’s definitely a shift in thinking!


Jane August 24, 2010 at 10:48 am

I work as a psychotherapist and ‘knew’ the theory I am still a work in progress ! but can accept that I may have the odd slip up but it’s not the end of the world and I know my tastebuds have changed and my favourite gadget is my juicer where I create my version of green monsters ! :)


Mimi August 24, 2010 at 8:26 am

I relate to much of what you are (and are always) saying. I especially connected with when you said, “I felt like I had to deserve it…”

The calorie for calorie concept used to rule me. Now, I know that life happens.

Thanks for the continual inspiration.


Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries August 24, 2010 at 8:28 am

Seeing how far you have come made me smile this morning. I used to suffer from disordered eating and now feel so much better about my relationship with food. For me, nothing is off limits and it feels SO GOOD.


Tina August 24, 2010 at 8:29 am

I really relate to this post. It was scary to think there was an alternative to life, but there came a point where I figured fear had to be better than hating myself. Now a passion for helping others overcome those struggles consumes me. Which is why I’m starting my 30 Days of Self-Love in September. (http://www.faithfitnessfun.com/30-days-of-self-love/) I’m so thankful I made those changes. It took a lot of time but is so worth it now. Much more fun to try new foods and have energy!


[email protected] August 24, 2010 at 8:31 am

So happy for you that you are healthy now :-) That looks like an amazing breakfast! It’s getting to be that time of year when I am just starting to crave autumnal foods, like pumpkin.
I went through a solid year of an ED, and eating only 2 meals a day: yogurt and fruit for breakfast, and a big salad (no dressing) for dinner. Glad that’s over.


Melissa August 24, 2010 at 8:33 am

Hi Angela – I think its wonderful what you’ve done for yourself. I have a quick and easy question – does this keep you full ALL MORNING? I find that even when I eat a large breakfast, I get hungry 3 hours later. So if I eat at 7am, I’m still hungry at 10am. I know calories shouldnt matter, but I’m still somewhat in the calorie mindset. So I get so scared to have 500+ calories before lunch. I’m active and eat normal otherwise. I love waking up to breakfast, but it still scares me.


Christine @Grub, Sweat and Cheers August 24, 2010 at 12:14 pm

I am the same way. I eat breakfast at 8:00 and 99% of the time am hungry 3 hours later. So I eat again, often having my ‘first’ lunch, or substantial snack at 10:30/11:00. People sometimes look at me funny at work because I’m having a bowl of soup at 10:30 but whatever, I’m hungry, I’m not watching a clock to know when to eat.

I usually eat when I am hungry again, around 2 or so. Just listen to your body. If you are hungry, you are hungry and should nourish yourself. Don’t count calories, eat until you are satisfied and then stop.


Candyfls August 25, 2010 at 9:03 am

Hi Ladies,

It’s reassuring to read that I’m not the only one who gets the ‘hunger pang’ mid-morning, despite however much I eat for breakfast! I love my breakfast meals (usually oats, fruit, cereal), but regardless of how much or how balanced, I’m always starving again by 10:30 or 11:00 am. It’s been frustrating because I wouldn’t expect to feel that way since I didn’t even deprive myself and yet have this insatiable hunger! It’s been a process of figuring out what works for me and my body and I realized that my metabolism causes me to get hungry every 3-4 hours (it’s like a clock, really). So like Christine, I have a small lunch #1 at 11:00 or so, and then another small meal at 2 pm. This seems to work! But still learning about intuitive eating and listening to my body, day-by-day… it’s a work in progress :)


Alleigh August 24, 2010 at 8:33 am

Your story hits all too close to home. I have struggled with my ED for the past 10 yrs. At my worst, I can remember cutting my apple up into 8 pieces and eating it throughout the day. As I began eating more in college, my ED became less noticeable, but it was as painful as ever, just different. About 6 months ago, I came across green monster movement and then OSG. I started reading more and more and slowly realized that there was a whole community of people writing about healthy living. I was shocked by how much I could identify with their stories, and all of a sudden I felt like I was allowed to change. I don’t know what had been holding me back for so long, but I can’t express how helpful it has been to read your story. Thank you for being so open.


Daniel August 24, 2010 at 8:34 am

I’ve fallen into anorexia, changed my eating habits to vegetarian, and overcame a lot of it while I was in Greece. To this day I still have slight trouble eating breakfast before I exercise. Though I workout for 20-30 minutes in the morning, I feel like eating breakfast before working out would make me feel like I had to exercise to burn off what I just ate. So I guess the struggle works in both ways.

Seeing someone else overcome their struggles is great motivation to always try to take another step in a healthier direction, I’m glad you posted about this. I’ve brought my exercising amount down a bit, and I’ve been incorporating higher fat, healthy foods (nut butters, nuts, oils, etc.) into my diet because I know that I need the fuel to live.

And I can probably (actually almost guaranteed) ramble off the calories in almost any given food from when I used to tally and count every calorie I ate. I’m glad that I was able to stop counting for good during my second attempt at it. Sure, it pops up in my head from time to time, but I just push it aside as best as I can – some things just never leave, but you make the best of it anyways. ^_^


Ricki August 24, 2010 at 8:36 am

Great to hear your story. And I’m still working on it, right now. . . daily. ;)


Laura D August 24, 2010 at 8:42 am

thank you so much for the post today. it was exactly what i needed after a night of slipping back into old habits. I too have struggled with BED for the past 3 years. it has isolated me from friends, affected my motivation, and changed so much of who i am as a person. In fact today i was so ashamed and nauseous, i called in sick to work. i continue to strive towards being healthy. what helps the most is eating 3 full meals, which means upping my view of what a meal looks like, so that i dont snack later. last week i went 7 days feeling wonderfully then i binged for two days straight out of habit. but i will not let myself fall into that pattern today so even though im home i am trying to do productive things.

what has also started to help me is listening to daily affirmations on my ipod from “My Thought Coach”. One is called Healthy and Moderate eater and it has helped immensley to release guilt and look on the bright side.


Kath August 24, 2010 at 8:42 am

I have changed my diet dramatically in the past year due to ED recover. I have been in treatment over a year and have restored a lot of weight. It is freeing to be able to enjoy foods I never allowed myself to eat. However, I wish I could eat intuitively! That never seems possible for me! I wish I could eat when I want and what I want, but I don’t trust my body. I’m at a very frustrating point right now.


Freya (Brit Chick Runs) August 24, 2010 at 8:43 am

I love this post.
I struggledwith severe anorexia for 2years, and it’s only the past 6months where I feel I’m really ‘letting go’, although I’ve been in recovery for 2years. I’m not where you are yet, but I’m quickly getting there!


Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter August 24, 2010 at 8:44 am

When I was in the 6th grade all I would have for breakfast was an Instant Breakfast shake. It wasn’t that I was trying to lose weight, I just really liked them! It was essentially chocolate milk with a bunch of vitamins. However I passed out one day in class. I went to the school nurse and she told me that I needed a better breakfast. I hopped onto the oatmeal train after that (with dinosaur eggs of course ;) )


Rhea (Greek Feaster) August 24, 2010 at 8:46 am

You go girl! Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggles with us. <3 I know that it makes me feel less lonely in what I've overcome. I feel like I still work every day! Sometimes I wish I had a switch in my brain that I could just turn off to stop thinking about food, meals, nutrition, etc. Of course it is useful at times, but sometimes it is just TIRING.
I can't wait to make pumpkin oatmeal this fall. I love pumpkin anything!


Krystina August 24, 2010 at 8:50 am

I feel like I could have written a lot of this myself. When I first started losing weight, I ended up going down an unhealthy path. I would restrict myself to under 600 calories a day and also knew the nutritional stats to almost any food. There were days when I would eat so little and work out so much that my net cals were in the negative. Now, I don’t calorie count and I know that my body gets the fuel and nutrients it needs.


Jenna @ bigdreamsskinnyjeans.com August 24, 2010 at 8:50 am

I can totally relate to this post. For years I would eat foods (anything from Eggplant to a specific type of pretzel) and research the internet like crazy until I found the nutritional info. I finally decided this was NO way to live – but it definitely took me a while to realize it was a bit crazy to be able to walk down the grocery store isle and rattle off all the calorie and serving size portions I had memorized. It is an addicting way to live and i’m glad I have more trust in myself now.


Kelly August 24, 2010 at 8:53 am

I used to have a very unhealthy relationship w/food. Depriving myself foods I love and then binging on unhealthy junk food was normal for me. Now, I love the food I eat. I eat huge breakfasts and have never felt healthier or happier!

P.S. I absolutely love your blog, you are so inspirational!! :)


Halley @ Blunder Construction August 24, 2010 at 8:55 am

You make a great point! Time to take a step back and look at how far I’ve come! I have struggled with food in many similar ways. For me, the challenge was learning how to fill myself up and this is something I am continuing to work out every day. In the past, I chose empty calories and poor nutrition and my body suffered the consequences. I’ve also been on the flip side, starving myself and restricting my diet because I obsessed with calorie-counting for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize it’s not supposed to be a struggle in either direction. With smart nutrition and interesting ingredients, we really can have it all!


Junia August 24, 2010 at 8:55 am

I still struggle with my ED and have a hard time loving myself, always wishing for something different! I’ve had to drastically change my eating due to some health problems I’ve developed, and I constantly have to remind myself to strive to be healthy, not skinny. It’s encouraging to know that other people have overcome it…!


Jaya August 24, 2010 at 8:57 am

This is such a great/inspiring post and set of comments. Thank you for your honesty and narrative. I can’t remember the food-details, but what stands out for me is the self-loathing. Nothing was ever about being me, it was always about DOING things right. That meant (for me too) that breakfast was something that was earned through exercise, not through virtue of human need/entitlement. People say that when you’ve had an eating disorder, you can never really, truly be healed, but I disagree. I think that recovering from any kind of disordered/destructive relationship requires extensive re-modeling of your self-concept. Yes, the residue of that experience lingers in your memory and mind, but once you have accepted unequivocally that your central truth is your self-worth, you’re on your way.
Reading your blog is something that I associate with a time of great change and happiness in my own life, and discovering that other people are passionate about making these changes and loving who they are has been such a pleasure and source of comfort. Thanks again.


Clemmy August 24, 2010 at 8:57 am

oh angela, i had no idea you had an ED, it doesnt come up much on your posts, so even tho i am currently recovering, i still loved your blog for its healthy and inspiring words… now it makes me feel better as i can relate to some of your past and i can see that there IS a way past this illness and there WILL be a future for me too!
my struggle is lunchtime, i can fuel myself with a good breakfast and dinner, but for some reason lunch seems like an indulgence to me as i am rarely that hungry during the middle of the day, i know that i must push myself past this, but hearing of your experience with breakfasts has helped me alot, thankyou :-)


Beth @ DiningAndDishing August 24, 2010 at 9:00 am

Eating a hearty breakfast has made such a huge difference in my life. I always used to wake up, work out, eat one cup of cereal with skim milk and would end up STARVING throughout the day. I didn’t eat enough for lunch to make up for it and at night would always end up feeling dizzy with hunger. I thought I was being good and using will power but now I see how silly that was! Now I eat a good breakfast each morning and it really helps control my appetite all day. It make such a difference not to feel weak and hungry all day long!


[email protected]://stacey-healthylife.blogspot.com/ August 24, 2010 at 9:01 am

I can totally relate to you and the struggles that you have gone through. I think it’s great that you share those struggles and show where you are at now.

P.S. I know I asked before but I’m looking to get a new camera and I love yours. What camera is it, and what program do you use to edit and post your pics.



Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine August 24, 2010 at 9:03 am

I can absolutely relate to this!! For a few years, I was neurotic about nutrition information labels, calories, and exactly how many I could have in each meal. I remember freaking out once because I ate two chocolate chips when I was baking. Crazy, right? I’ve learned that I don’t need 1200 calories a day, I need twice that amount, and while at first it was daunting to eat so much more, I’ve learned that I won’t gain inordinate amounts of weight and I FEEL so much better! Your story is truly inspiring :)


Leah @ Simply Fabulous August 24, 2010 at 9:04 am

As someone who has known you for almost 10 years….i just want to say i’m proud of how far you have come!


Nic August 24, 2010 at 9:04 am

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. It’s so great to hear that you are in a good place right now. My current struggle is overeating, especially with sweets. If I decide not to eat them at all, I’m usually ok and can move on with my life. But once I eat a cookie or brownie, etc, I can’t seem to stop and want to eat five more! It’s all about balance and I know that I will find mine one day :)


Astrid August 24, 2010 at 9:05 am

I can completely relate to this, especially the always being hungry part. Even now, I have days when I don’t allow myself to eat until I am full. I see being stuffed as a sign that I have eaten too much. But lately, some of my meals have been so delicious, that I will eat until I am full. And I have been able to sit back and enjoy it. It was not a binge. It was simply eating until I was sompletely and utterly satisfied. I know this is a great thing to do. And since I do get hungry again, it is completely necessary!
I am genuinely happy that you have reached such a great mind and body space. You are a GORGEOUS girl and you deserve to see that and enjoy it.


Izzy August 24, 2010 at 9:06 am

Your experiences with food and eating disorders so closely the thoughts I’ve struggled with and still do struggle with sometimes. This is why I love your blog – your present relationship with food, what it appears like on the blog anyway, is what I want to achieve in recovery. To have a healthy, balanced relationship full of yummy (and SUCH pretty) food creations and discoveries.

Thanks for this post :)



Rachael @ Houston Health Blogs August 24, 2010 at 9:08 am

Thank you so much for sharing that part of your story with us… its nice to see how far you have come. You are an inspiration to so many, thank you!


Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman August 24, 2010 at 9:09 am

I never had an eating disorder, but I remember in high school avoiding “bad” foods like they were poison. Eating one french fry to me was horrible. Now I’ll have a french fry and not feel guilty. I understand moderation now.


Marina August 24, 2010 at 9:09 am

Thank you for this post.
I’m trying to increase my intake, but I’m not sure if I’m suppose to. I never think I eat too little, no matter what other people are saying. I’m trying to realize I need to gain some weight, and in order to do that, I should eat more and not worry about moving a lot or exercising…


Michelle @ Turning Over a New Leaf August 24, 2010 at 9:11 am

Two weeks ago I decided to stop counting calories and focus less on making the number on the scale go down, and focus more on fixing my behaviors. While I do still step on the scale, I don’t worry about the number. It’s just a number and it helps me stay in tune with my body.

As a result of this, I’ve been eating more at breakfast and lunch, and I definitely feel more nourished. I’ve been eating more in the afternoon for snacks as well, and I’m not sure what that’s about.

I wondered if this would cause me to gain weight, considering I do have a night or two every week where I’m in the presence of indulgences, but I’ve noticed a shift. I eat more at breakfast and for an afternoon snack, but I’m not usually hungry for a morning snack anymore, and I’m not usually hungry for a large dinner at the end of the day. I’ve been eating more, and even indulging on the items I deemed WORTHY (fresh-out-of-the-oven-“Better-Than-Sex”-brownies!), and I haven’t gained anything but freedom and a great sense of self control. I don’t feel so driven to overeat anymore, and it feels wonderful!

It’s only been two weeks, and I still want to lose a little more, simply so I can fit into my jeans, but I’ve made peace with the number I see on the scale. My body is healthy and active and nothing to be ashamed of. It deserves to be nourished.


Amanda August 24, 2010 at 9:11 am

I also used to feel like I would have to spend the rest of my life counting calories and I would punish myself for overeating by “working off” the excess calories I had consumed or preparing to overindulge by extreme workouts. Now I have a much healthier relationship with food where I eat healthy food in reasonable portions and exercise for fitness and not for food. I am a much happier and healthier person because of it.


Caitlin @ Right Foot Forward August 24, 2010 at 9:12 am

Angela, I am a fairly new reader of your blog and didn’t realize that your history with food included an eating disorder. The fact that you have grown from a person who struggled so much to the person you are today is truly an inspiration.


Samantha @ Health, Happiness & Skinny Jeans August 24, 2010 at 9:16 am

I still struggle with the way I eat, often overeating for emotional reasons (stress, boredom, sadness) and then feeling guilty or frustrated for having done it. I have come a long way in making better more nutritional choices for meals and planned snacks but there are still times when I will binge or overeat. I work on this everyday but for now it is still a part of my reality. Thank you for sharing your story with us.


Kacy August 24, 2010 at 9:18 am

Great story Angela! I changed my breakfasts pretty dramatically once I started drinking GMs as well. For me they always included either an extremely processed granola bar or cereal or a fast food meal of some sort. It feels so good now to know I’m starting my day in such a healthy and nutritious way!


Heather (Heather's Dish) August 24, 2010 at 9:18 am

i love it when you share your story…it reminds me of how far i’ve come too! i have definitely increased the amount of healthy, plant-based fats and decreased animal fats…although i don’t restrict anymore if i want something with a pat of butter. it’s so worth it!


Morgan @ Healthy Happy Place August 24, 2010 at 9:20 am

When I suffered from my ED, breakfast was hard for me, too. I would deprive myself all day long, and at night, when I felt I had suffered a sufficient amount, I’d allow myself to eat a snack. i’m so glad you are over this fight, and I’m glad you are helping others with your blog!


Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg August 24, 2010 at 9:22 am

I always love reading about how far you’ve come in your eating habits and thinking. I don’t think I’m quite where you are yet, but I like to think I’m on my way!

Your breakfast looks so fallish!


Wei-Wei August 24, 2010 at 9:23 am

“I yawned a lot. No amount of sleep can cure an empty stomach.” That almost made me cry. Now I know why I was so tired all the time… not that I didn’t before, but I just linked it to my lack of sleep. I hope I can recover from disordered eating as well as you did. You’re amazing. And I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but you just continue to be such an inspiration to me.


Satori August 24, 2010 at 9:29 am

I changed my eating perspective the day I read your blog.

Before this, I thought it was normal the way I ate. I didn’t think it was an eating disorder. I wanted unhealthy, savory food (french fries, hamburgers) so I thought the only way I could deserve those things was not to eat any breakfast or lunch and save the calories for dinner. Of course, this was really unrealistic and it led to a lot of binging which made me feel so guilty.

Most of the people I knew who ate full meals were on the larger side (I’m from the southern states of the US). My mom, a skinny petite woman half my size, only ate vegetables throughout the day and half a bowl of rice for dinner. I thought I was the freak for failing to to have a BMI of 18. It wasn’t until your blog that I was like… what? Could this be such an extreme diet that it could actually be an eating disorder?

So since then, I’ve learned to eat healthy. I have slip ups now and then with just too much fried food, but I don’t feel guilty and I don’t binge anymore. I would like to say I’ve lost pounds but I threw out my scale!


Maria @ Oh Healthy Day August 24, 2010 at 9:30 am

Just like you, I avoided breakfast at all costs. It was my easiest meal of the day to skip, because I never woke up hungry (most likely due to the fact that I’d eat way late into the night since I had probably deprived myself that day. Once I slowly started forcing down some morning food – I now cannot simply fanthom NOT eating it. It started with a piece of toast here, an apple there and now I’m eating oatmeal, Green Monsters, and sometimes blueberry pancakes. I used to sit in class during my no breakfast year, embarrassed that my stomach was growling and so incredible tired that I couldn’t keep my eyes open…”I yawned a lot.” So very very true. Thanks again for yet another honest and interesting post, Angela!


Holly @ couchpotatoathlete August 24, 2010 at 9:32 am

Angela I have to say I find you so inspiring.

I wouldn’t say I have an actual ED, but I do have a fear of certain foods, eating a certain amount, etc. I am seeing a therapist about all of this — I do want help with this. But I love reading about your attitude about food, eating, breakfast! It seems so freeing, and I look forward to the day when I have that mindset!


Dorry August 24, 2010 at 9:35 am

Wonderful post – I relate to a lot of your thoughts from a time with disordered eating and I, too, sometimes forget how far I’ve come since then! I eat now to fuel my workouts, to give me energy throughout the day and to enjoy all the delicious food combos I’ve come to know and love over the past couple of years. Love your blog. Thanks for sharing this great post today.


Lauren August 24, 2010 at 9:39 am

I remember eating 60 calorie yogurts for breakfast and a combination of 100 calorie packs for lunch :( Wow, actually admitting that makes me really sad BUT my meals couldn’t be more different now. Bring on the big healthy filling breakfasts and huge salady lunches :)


Jillian @ Reshape Your Life August 24, 2010 at 9:41 am

I’m going through this right now, I’ve never had a healthy relationship with food. I either ate too little or too much and ate NONE of the right things. A few months ago I started switching my diet to a healthier one… Instead of meat and potatoes I eat veggies and beans. It’s going to be a long process but I feel really good about it. :)


Rachel @ Fit Fun and Fabulous August 24, 2010 at 9:41 am

What a wonderful post! You are so inspiring. I’ve struggled with similar feelings like this but on the opposite end. “You don’t deserve healthy food, eat this junk”. I can’t wait to banish these feelings for good.


Camille August 24, 2010 at 9:43 am

I too have overcome an ED and have made a total 180 when it comes to what I eat! It is one of my greatest accomplishments!


Shanna, like Banana August 24, 2010 at 9:46 am

I can’t say that I have had an ED, but I do have some Diordered Eating habits. You see, I saw that apple and was like “hey that’s what I eat for breakfast too!” While your breakfasts always look beyond divine, I do cringe when I see what all goes in there. I mentally am adding up all the calories. I try to keep my breakfast under 175cals…I’m not quite sure why..maybe that’s something I should explore within a bit more.

Insighful post as always lovely lady!


Mary @ Bites and Bliss August 24, 2010 at 9:46 am

Beautiful post, Angela! Iwent through the same types of things..even if there was no *offical* workout, I would always do some jumping jacks or pushups before eating. *Always* no matter what meal it was or if I actaully had worked out. I’m so glad you turned around and that I was able to do the same- it’s much better this way! :D


christyn @ All Ways Nutritious August 24, 2010 at 9:47 am

You have come such a long way and so happy you faced your fears. Your love of food is infectious!!! When we face fears and over come obstacles it helps us grow in everyway…mind, body and soul. Investing time in ourselves is the best thing anyone person can do :)

Enjoy your day!


Alaina August 24, 2010 at 9:50 am

I personally still struggle with disordered eating, but inspirational blogs like yours are helping me to break out of that rut. I’m slowly working towards health by experimenting, and it definitely makes eating less stressful and more fun! Though I haven’t lost the weight I’ve gained after more than a year of bingeing, I’m hopeful that refocusing on health and listening to my body instead of counting calories and beating myself up will eventually restore balance to my body.

Thanks for everything that you do, Angela! You truly are a role model for anyone who has struggled (or still struggles) with acheiving a healthy, balanced life.


Becca August 24, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Alaina, good luck, keep it up! I’m at the same point as you. The past year has been hard as I’ve tried to find balance after a long time of the same feelings- counting calories, restricting, bingeing, feeling horrible- it’s an awful cycle and really really hard to get out of. I’m still not totally there but I am also hoping the balance will happen at some point soon! <3


schmei August 24, 2010 at 9:56 am

I’m making the change, gradually, and my DH is joining me. It’s definitely a process, but we’re actually having a lot of fun trying new foods and recipes and thinking about how to eat real food instead of processed crap. This morning we had VOO for the first time, and we loved it! Easy, filling, tasty – perfect.

Two years ago I did a diet program and I lost some weight on it, but I was hungry ALL THE TIME and it wasn’t sustainable. Now I’m focusing on fitness and eating well rather than the number on the scale, but it’s hard sometimes to break out of the mindset that I should be punished for eating, or that food (any food) has to be earned.

Your positive mindset is really encouraging!


Elli @ 16 and Losing It August 24, 2010 at 10:05 am

Just in the past few months my eating has drastically changed for the better. About a year and a half ago I started reducing my calorie intake, but it wasn’t until this spring that my total love of fruits and veggies began. In a matter of a month or two I went from eating a small salad with just lettuce and tomato with my veggie-less dinner to having a GIANT salad with every veggie (and some fruit) in my fridge and some toast on the side. My pasta is not more veggies than pasta. It still amazes me that 80% of the things I eat now I would never have eaten a year ago. It didn’t take me long to realize how amazing fruits and veggies make me feel and as soon as I did I never wanted to go back!


Olivia August 24, 2010 at 10:06 am

I fell like i have accepted that I will always obsess, binge, and never be free from constantly judging myself. I am so tired and worn down but can’t seem to let it go.

This post gives me some hope but i just don’t know if I’ll ever break free.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to comfort yourself and deal with anxiety and loneliness without binging?

Thanks for the support!


A August 24, 2010 at 3:24 pm

I’m exactly like you – I’ve accepted that life will probably never be free of binging, with the added hell of purging to “erase” the 10,000+ calories of that binge. I’m so bored and lonely that eating is the only thing alleviates those discomforts. I’ve been to many therapists, groups, etc, and still can’t break free. If only all those suggestions that are out there actually worked for me. Somehow listening to music, dancing, knitting, crafting, talking on the phone to a friend, reading, watching a movie, and all the millions of other activities don’t appeal to me as much as eating does. I’ve even left parties where there’s plenty going on and people to socialize with just to go home and binge alone. It’s so sad.
I can only hope that you find your way out. It seems that so many people have that I’m sure you can, too. It’s a matter of finding what motivates and works for you. However, I fear I’m pretty much doomed forever.


Lana August 24, 2010 at 6:33 pm

I also have BED and can relate to what you’re saying. It’s so isolating and lonely! I have just started seeing a counsellor who helps in these specific EDs and while it’s only been a month, she has gotten me to do a few activities that help a little. You might like to try?
One of them is as soon as you have a binge, write a few paragraphs down of exactly your thoughts at that time, while you’re angry or shameful at yourself. Be totally honest (lots of awful things may come out). The leave it and walk away. Come back the next day when you are in a better frame of mind and read it while writing next to it what you would say if your best friend said those things about herself. Apparently if you do this a few times a week you can being to undo the through patterns that are so ingrained in us.


Nour August 24, 2010 at 10:12 am

I’m struggling with this right now. I think I have come a far way since I have been able to admit that I’m in a vicious and unhealthy cycle. This is a step in the right direction for me.

Thanks for the story. You’re awesome and inspire me :)


Jul August 24, 2010 at 10:15 am

hey angela!
it’s so great that you overcame your ED. i have struggled with an ED over the past couple of years, and haven’t fully recovered. I too still regress into bingeing/starving episodes. I was curious how you (angela and other readers) overcame your ED? i’m looking for guidance in a very frustrating, confusing time. thanks so much!


Ella August 24, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Jul, I keep going back and forth between a really healthy mindset and a really negative one that leads to months of cyclical, unbalanced starving and bingeing. When I’m in a healthy (though they’re short) phase, I have found a couple odd reasons how it’s come about. I tend to have way higher self esteem when I have been getting enough sleep, and exercise in fresh air. Everyone is different and your body might need one thing more than another, and for me, the catalyst for everything is sleep- if I’m not getting enough, I am hungrier, but moodier, and too tired to work out well, and so I stop eating, but then binge. It’s a bad cycle and it mostly starts with getting enough sleep for me! You should look at the patterns you go through to see what the most important health thing is for you- drinking water, exercise, sleep, veggies, meditation, whatever. That might help, at least I hope it does! good luck!


Kristen August 24, 2010 at 10:21 am

Hi Angela! I started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and I must tell you how much it has changed my perspective on eating and body image. Honestly, all the food blogs I have been reading the past year have helped, but I think yours truly hits me the most since I have suffered from disordered eating. I still weight every morning and count calories, but I am starting to not care as much as I used to… and a lot of this has to do with your blog and your journey on overcoming your ED. I respect you so much for sharing your experience, and I am definitely taking steps toward giving up control of my calorie counting. Like you said, I am scared of the unknown + of the possible weight gain, but I know I eat healthy on a regular basis and work out pretty hard most days of the week. I know I just need to let myself be free from it, but again, I am scared. But, I hope + pray that I will soon get the courage to let go. Thank you again for your wonderful blog + sharing your experiences!


[email protected] August 24, 2010 at 10:21 am

I actually had a similar problem for a few years in college. After gaining weight during my sophomore year, I dramatically lowered my calorie intake, lost a lot of weight, and was tired all the time. I still find myself counting calories but I have recovered a great deal since then. Now I can’t imagine starting off my morning with out a hearty breakfast!


Katherine @ Left Coast Contessa August 24, 2010 at 10:25 am

My eating habits have changed for the better. I didn’t eat breakfast at all through out college (unless you count a coffee and an occasional bagel). Then at lunch I would eat huge sandwiches. It was so unbalanced. Now I eat more frequent well balanced meals. I never get super hungry and I make better food choices as a result.


Chelsea at Striking Balance August 24, 2010 at 10:26 am

Great post Angela. I am so happy you wrote about this. You have actually been the one to inspire me to start eating larger breakfasts to fuel my day. I, just like you, used to really restrict in the mornings. I would try to keep my breakfasts between 150-200 calories. I would have just a little packet of oatmeal (~130 cals, depending on flavour), and MAYBE half a banana if I was feeling little hungrier. Somehow Ithought this would hold me over until lunch. I always wondered why I was so sluggish and irritable in the mornings.

Now, after reading your blog for over a year, along with a few others who eat large breakfasts, breakfast has now become my favourite meal of the day! I loveeee big bowls of VOO, oatmeal, green monsters, toast with peanut butter, etc. Now my breakfasts averagearound 400 cal, and sometmes that isn’t even enough to keep me going. I am so so happy I am finally starting to listen to my body and hunger, and am starting to not be afraid of eating. Thanks so much Angela.



Cassie August 24, 2010 at 10:35 am

This time last year, actually, I was developing the same thought process you once had.
I had JUST started really working out and getting into fitness..and from there my mind became filled with calorie counts. No matter what I ate (an apple, an orange) I HAD to know the exact amount of calories. And if I did “well” during the day..i’d binge on junk food at friends parties at night. I also ate the same thing for breakfast every morning…1 poached egg, 1 piece of whole grain toast and a sprinkle of cheese. I didn’t eat this because it was delicious (although it is!) but because it was LOW CALORIE.
Now i’ve eaten a giant beautiful bowl of oatmeal almost every morning this summer…and love it. :)
I can’t say that I still don’t think about calories…and still don’t binge by mistake..but I’m much, much better than I was. I don’t have a cup of tea for a snack and call it a day anymore. I have a LARGE appetite, and i’ll fuel it the right way !


Meredith August 24, 2010 at 10:41 am

I’ve learned a lot about nutrient-dense food this year, partly from your blog! I switched to almond milk after realizing that dairy milk makes my pms worse. That was a good change.

I’m eating oats right now. Do you ever add molasses? It’s full of healthy minerals and tastes like fall. A molasses spice glow bar would be pretty yummy too…


Schmei August 24, 2010 at 2:48 pm

oooh – good idea! I might add molasses to my oats tomorrow morning!


Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat August 24, 2010 at 10:45 am

Congratulations Ange – you’ve come SO far! Even though I didn’t know you in your ED days, I’ve read your posts about them and I think it’s awesome how your outlook is so different now. You should be so proud of yourself!

I used to be in a big breakfast rut before I started blogging and literally ate the same thing every day. I eventually got bored, and after having read a few blogs (and oggled numerous photos of your ridiculously delicious looking oats!) I finally put a stop to the monotony and started eating other things. Before, I was a calorie counter but didn’t take into account the fact that because I work out early in the morning, THAT’S when my body needs the most fuel! Now I thoroughly enjoy my big breakfasts which typically consist of some sort of cereal/yogurt/fruit combo or oats with interesting new toppings, and green monsters/smoothies galore!


Sarah for Real August 24, 2010 at 10:48 am

My biggest change is watching out for “diet” foods. I noticed recently how they really mess with my hunger intuition. A few days of diet sodas and low-cal processed snacks will make me ravenously munchy! I found that by eating real food, I can listen to my real hunger cues and maintain a healthy weight without the stress of calorie counting or dieting.


Julia August 24, 2010 at 10:51 am

Thank you for this post. I am still struggling with not binging on the weekends. I hope to come as far as you…I’m working towards it slowly.


Cat August 24, 2010 at 10:57 am

Your honesty in this post is so admirable! I think once we can learn to discuss EDs, food, our bodies, and nutrition, the easier it becomes to face the truth and make positive changes. This is a process I’m currently struggling with and I realize it may get easier but it will never stop being a part of who I am. I’m a semi-new reader to your blog and keep coming back because I enjoy your posts for being informative and helpful, but not too extreme! Striking a balance when it comes to our bodies is tough and the more I can learn about other women walking that line, the more confident I feel when faced with making my own food-related choices! Thank you for being such a positive role model.

PS – I’ve converted to the Green Monster movement and LOVE IT. I’m not sure how I survived without those concoctions before.


monica August 24, 2010 at 10:57 am

Hi Angela!
well, I suppose it is about time I comment since I have been reading for a bit now! I just want to say you are incredible to be so honest and REAL! I am a private trainer in LA and many woman struggle with their bodies, body image, weight, food intake. I have always been lucky to not have issues with food and my body and that is why I have the passion to help others. Breakfast should be the best part of your day and I wish everyone knew that! As sad as it is to see, there can be a turnaround, just took at you:) Thanks for giving woman all around a piece of your light! BTW, we have so much in common, I look forward to sharing our insights in the future…


Tracey August 24, 2010 at 11:06 am

I went through a similar situation when I was younger. I would not let myself eat breakfast. I, like you, made myself work out as much as possible so that later in the day I could have a meal, err, small snack. I was miserable, but once I decided I was going to get healthy (and “healthy” had to take on a new meaning other than skinny in my mind) I began to add food to my diet. I found I also struggled with breakfast still though. Even though I had added food to later in my day I still made myself work for my breakfast. I has taken me until two years ago when I turned 25 to realize that breakfast could be filling and healthy. I now enjoy creating new things for breakfast and I look foward to starting my day off right!


Lisa August 24, 2010 at 11:07 am

I always eat breakfast. I learned a long time ago my body needed the fuel or I’d never get anything done!


CathyK August 24, 2010 at 11:11 am

thank you so much, angela for being so open and honest. you are a true inspiration.
i can so relate to your story that you shared. been there. still on the journey, although i have made a lot of progress in the last 6 months. i remember at one time i wouldn’t let myself have anything except diet coke before 1:30 pm – after a huge morning workout – and then only veggies. thank goodness i’ve come a long way since then! and i look forward to more progress! small steps! :) thanks so much to everyone who has shared comments, too. very helpful.


Sara August 24, 2010 at 11:18 am

I think it’s important that anyone who has recovered from an eating disorder never forget where we came from, because the nature of the disease is that it can be all to easy to drift back. It’s SO HOPEFUL to read your posts about what life with food can be like. I recently regained a healthy body weight by eating nutrient and calorie dense food….oh the avocados and larabars that were consumed. But now I am striving for a healthy balance, and I do BELIEVE that’s possible!


Helen August 24, 2010 at 11:32 am

Well it looks like you still think about numbers, given the stats on pumpkin that you rattled off in this post!
I understand that you’ve come a long way…but never forget people who eat nothing not out of choice, but from poverty, those who are malnourished not because they know so much about food and have practically unlimited access to it, but rather are underfed and starving…
Also, dramatic eating changes aren’t good for you. But your transformation was not dramatic, it was gradual, if I am correct – and that is good.


Leah @ Why Deprive? August 24, 2010 at 11:36 am

I used to think exactly the same things. When I saw a “thin” girl eating something I would tell myself “oh, well she must just throw that up later”. It just wasnt possible in my mind that someone could actually EAT without gaining weight.
I am so glad I broke out of that. I had given up, and accepted the fact that I was either going to let myself get “fat” or never eat again. It was either one or the other.
These days I eat more than my 6’3, 200 ish pound boss and I love every bite! :)


Toby August 24, 2010 at 11:38 am

Until recently I’ve been able to eat whatever I want. I tried to keep my diet moderately healthy and I don’t overeat, but then I started having “upper right quadrant pain”. To make a long story short, I got a new Naturopathic doctor who put me on a liver detox diet followed by food challenges (still in the middle of that). Overnight I eliminated wheat, corn, eggs, dairy, beef, pork, nightshades, crustaceans, caffeine, and alcohol. After doing this for 5 weeks now I don’t intend to go vegan or raw or even vegetarian, but I do plan to eat very healthy. Plus it looks like dairy and corn will have to be eliminated due to allergic response.


Jen August 24, 2010 at 11:46 am

I have never had an eating disorder, but upon gaining a lot of weight in the past couple years and a decrease in my exercise, I knew I wanted to change something. Then I found your blog. Seriously. It was THE inspiration for me to change it up with food & exercise and have fun with it! And I am!


Tamara August 24, 2010 at 11:47 am

It’s like you’re reading my mind from a few years ago! I stopped eating and started running cross country when I was 14, and for four years thought of almost nothing but calories calories calories, until my body was so starved that it pumped out hormones to make me binge all of the lost weight back. I’ve been getting better very, very slowly–only managed to finally kick the calorie-counting in the behind last month. It may take another year or two before I can really eat intuitively. And the real irony here is that this whole dangerous cycle started for no reason…at 14 I weighed only ten pounds more than I do now, and I think I’m pretty hot!


[email protected] August 24, 2010 at 11:50 am

Thank you so much for this post. I can really relate. I used to not allow myself to eat breakfast and on days that I did I would have to workout first and even then my breakfast would hardly be classified as a snack (usually a small 60 calorie yogurt). That was about two years ago and I have made great progress since. You are always such an inspiration and I am motivated to stay on the right track by reading your blog :)


[email protected] August 24, 2010 at 11:56 am

thank you for sharing this post! I have struggled in the past (high school) with these issues. I played varsity soccer in high school and remember eating only a diet coke and pack of poptarts all day long, and then heading out to 2 hours of rigorous practice. I lost a lot of weight, but wasn’t happy. It was a horrible feeling to be so fixated on weight and calories. Things are different now, and I’m so glad.


Lauren August 24, 2010 at 12:01 pm

This is such a beautifully honest post. I so often struggle with that same mindset. That I have to earn whatever I eat. I feel like I eat a lot at meals, and compensate for it by how much exercise I do, but then I feel like when I don’t exercise for it, I’m cheating myself. I hate that way of thinking! No one should need to earn food, it’s such a natural thing. Thank you for reminding me of this!


chelsey August 24, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Wow, Thank you for being so honest. I think a lot of us can relate to that. I used to feel that way, and it is hard hard work to try and change your way of thinking. THe blogworld definitely helps. It used to be a day by day experience for me, but now I only have a bad day every once in a while. I. love. food. ;)


Tasmiah August 24, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Wow ! I love this article, whenever you describe your past, it reminds me of my sister last summer. She was sucked into this huge whole of food & insecurities that lead to excessive exercise & not enough fuel. You’re truly an inspiration!

P.S — I REAAAAAAAALLLLLYYYY want to make your recipes, like i dreamt about them last night… not cool! But I cant get my hands not chia seeds ! Where do you get them !? I live in Halifax, NS. HELP HELP HELP . :)


Natasha August 24, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Hi Tasmiah!

I live in Halifax too :) You can find chia seeds at the Bulk Barn, Planet Organic, or online http://www.superseeds.ca/ss1/index.html


Faith @ lovelyascharged August 24, 2010 at 12:09 pm

This post really could have come directly from my mouth. So much of my life was preoccupied with eating as little as I could get away with (and complete ditto on the calorie memorization – even now, if a coworker asks the stats of a food, I can rattle it off from years of meticulous number analyzing and brooding.) One of the hardest things was embracing the fact that I actually like to eat (and can pack away a respectable amount when need be!!!)


thefruitpersuit (Sabine) August 24, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Thank you for sharing this Angela. I am still a bit weary of literally putting the word out there on my blog that I have had an eating disorder but I do share I have had struggles with food and weight obsession. My anorexia made me live on 0-500 calories for weeks on end while exercising at least an hour a day and nowadays I can’t fathom eating less than say 1600 or so haha (I eat more though, I just don;t count anymore). It really is a bittersweet realisation… on one hand it is very sad I used to live like that and torture myself like that, yet on the other hand I sometimes just have to laugh about it; was that really me?! I LOVE FOOD :). and of course it feels great to have turned things around for myself.

My point is, I still do have some hard days (fat days…) where I start questioning the amount I eat, and it always seems like everyone around me eats less (especially the ones that are not disordered in their eating at all…) but posts like this then make me realize again: DOH. food is fun, food is love, food is live, and food is fuel :). so, thank you!

love, sabine


Dee August 24, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Chocolate Pumpkin VOO? How do you GO wrong?! YUM!

I have drastically changed some things in the past. I think this time though I am taking it slow and easy.


Lisa August 24, 2010 at 12:36 pm

You really are an inspiration. While I’ve never skipped breakfast, I do make myself “earn” it first. I struggle with emotional eating and even looking at your delicious and healthy overnight oat concoctions cause me some anxiety. I think that I could never be as trim as you if I ate that. I hope to one day get to the place you are.


Kelly August 24, 2010 at 12:39 pm

I think all of us has had food issues of one kind or another. I would try to keep all my meals to 200 calories. I would only eat about 1000 calories for the day and often much less. That doesn’t fuel much at all. My workouts were intense and sweaty. I was constantly tired and couldn’t figure out why. Then I read Thrive. It talks all about fueling your body. Once I started bulking up my breakfast I felt so much better. Those old thoughts creep back in from time to time. I find that I’m counting calories/fat grams or whatever without even thinking. Once I realize it I stop and ask…are you eating whole food? is it processed? no? then why are you stressing about it? Now I try to eat slowly until I’m full and enjoy every single bite. If I do decide to indulge in something sweet or whatever then I’m going to enjoy it. I’ve come so far in this respect. Thank God!


Kiersten August 24, 2010 at 12:45 pm

My eating habits have changed drastically throughout my life. From eating a lot of “junk” as a kid, to barely eating anything when I had an ED, to eating healthy, etc. I am happy now at my current state and I will do my best to keep it this way! When my ED was really bad I used to tell myself I will be like this forever”. It was a horribly depressing thought. I am so glad that I stopped believing that and proved that statement wrong.


Lauren @ 40Apples August 24, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Wonderful post, Angela. For many of us in this blog community, it’s hard to fathom a world where breakfast is the enemy (considering it seems to be the favorite and most celebrated meal of the day for most!) – whether we’ve never been affected by an ED, or have recovered from one. But that has been a reality for so many people… it is amazing to look back at an old eating habit from a much healthier, wiser perspective and be able to recognize the futility in that kind of restriction! Breakfast is a beautiful thing that SHOULD be celebrated :)


zoe August 24, 2010 at 12:52 pm

angela, you’re really such a bigger inspiration than you know. i’m in the midst of struggling to regain balance and a healthy relationship with food. my food struggles sound incredibly similar to your own. the cycle of eating, not eating, over eating and always loathing the sight in the mirror is unbearable. not to mention compulsively listing off nutritional stats of foods. it feels like my entire life is governed by food and eating. to see someone has challenged the power of an ED and won inflates hope into my chest again. thanks for this post, it was the perfect thing to read this morning!


Gloria August 24, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Wow. What a great post!
Really ‘moving’ too, as it made my heart jump for joy; for you, and a little bit for myself too, I’ll have to admit – when I realized that what you were describing has been a reality for me too, for way too long.
But I love to think that that really doesn’t matter anymore; what counts is that today is góód, because it’s not like thát anymore.
So strange how you actually make yourself believe that it’s ok to live like that, because you’re special in a way – you don’t deserve what everybody, anyone for that matter, doés deserve.


Ashley August 24, 2010 at 12:59 pm

KillER photos lady!!! :) I made pumpkin chocolate VOO this morning…soooo delish! Over the past 3 years my eating lifestyle has definitely changed and I’m loving it! I never realized that you could be SO in tune with your body that you know if you need more fat, protein, or just a big glass of OJ. I’m constantly amazed.


Sarah (turning point) August 24, 2010 at 1:09 pm

My problem with breakfast was that upon waking up every morning, I was really not hungry! Yet I know the importance and benefits of “breaking the fast” and starting your day right. Green Monsters are wonderful for me in the morning, and reading your blog has given me some great ideas for things that I would be *excited* about eating in the mornings! So thank you!!


Kavita August 24, 2010 at 1:21 pm

About a year ago I decided I HAD to make a change – a radical change- in my lifestyle. I had just finished my final year of college and was moving back into my parent’s house (something I was not proud of, or did I imagine myself doing when I began school 4 years earlier). Needless to say, I was quite down on myself as I didn’t have a job in the field I wanted to work in and I watched my friends move out on their own. Not to mention I was about 35 lbs overweight (according to my BMI). So I came to a decision – I had to take control of SOMETHING in my life; that something was my body. Everything else was not working out as I had planned, so I began to plan my diet and exercise.

I went from eating cheesy/carby/oily meals late at night and getting 4-6 hours of sleep with sporadic bursts of exercise to scheduling my food/sleep/exercise first. I changed my diet by adding more vegetables with all of my meals. I began making all kinds of salads and wraps for lunch – which was very fun for me, as I love to cook/create! I researched different fish dishes to make for my family for dinner. I also began to eat a healthy/hearty breakfast that left me full till lunchtime. Oatmeal, cottage cheese, smoothies, etc. And soon my now-boyfriend led me to a site called tastespotting.com on which someone had posted a green monster recipe – along with a link to ohsheglows! It was revolutionary for me and my breakfasts soon became a bowl of fiber loaded cereal/oatmeal and a green monster.

Now I am in a place where the greasy allure of fast food is lost on me. My main focus for any meal is nutrition, and my palate has changed remarkably. I actually prefer vegetables over meat (which my mother couldn’t believe)! I was even pescetarian for an entire year, and now only eat meat which has been humanely raised and is free of hormones and antibiotics.

So now after a year, I am down 40 lbs! And I did it the healthy way. Changing my diet also made me feel more energized. I have clearer skin and my hair and nails grow like weeds! I love what nutrition has done for me, and it wasn’t a difficult transition. I still eat pizza every now and then, or indulge in foods that I know are low in nutritional content – but I never feel guilty. I eat what I feel like eating – it just happens to be that I feel like eating nutritiously! And trust me when I say, everyone can get to this point. I read recently that losing weight or being healthy is not about discipline; it’s about love. You have to LOVE healthy foods and LOVE to exercise, not force yourself. And with so many options out there, its not hard to find great recipes that you’ll love to eat!


Megan August 24, 2010 at 1:36 pm

It’s amazing how far you’ve come! So inspirational! And for the record, I LOVE your overnight oats. My favorites so far are the original and pumpkin!


Kait August 24, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I read your blog almost every day with my morning coffee and today is the first day I felt brave enough to comment. This entry made me tear up – because at 23, I’m *still* fighting that battle with food and I feel like I’m never going to escape it and become one of those normal, healthy “I’m proud of my body and what it can do and I’m going to respect it by treating it kindly” women.

Knowing it can be done? Is like having someone toss out a lifeline into rough waters. And while today won’t be the day I haul myself out (didn’t go for a run this morning, so that Pink Lady apple in my work bag is going to have to wait), I’m at least motivated to keep hanging on.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.


Kavita August 30, 2010 at 12:34 pm

You can do it Kait! I read your comment and I totally empathize. I’m turning 23 in a week and FINALLY after 8 years of battling with food/nutrition and exercise I feel like I am in a great place.

>I feel like I’m never going to escape it and become one of those normal, healthy “I’m proud of my body and what it can do and I’m going to respect it by treating it kindly” women.<

Surprise! That's not the norm! The normal in fact is that most women feel bad/self conscious about their bodies. Even though I eat healthy every day, hit the gym at least 5 times a week and watch my nutritional intake – one perusal through the Victoria's Secret swimsuit online catalog sends me right back to a year ago when I analysed every part of my body until I felt retched. It was a terrible cycle that had me skimping on meals, only to binge on sweets later.

Take it one step at a time! Make small goals that feel attainable and you'll get there. As you start to see change, you'll feel great about yourself – in whatever way that may be. I read recently an article on Men's Health about "Why you can't lose those last 10 lbs" The #1 reason was you have to LOVE what you are doing. Don't FORCE yourself to go to the gym- really LOVE what you do! When you do, you'll naturally feel good about yourself and body. Sometimes its harder to see the big picture when you're stuck in the middle of it. Don't worry about wanting to be a "normal girl" just think about what makes you happy in terms of fitness and nutrition – Because those are guiltless pleasures! I feel great after taking a zumba class – and there is no guilt 2 hours later like there would be eating a bowlful of icecream. And then later when I decide to indulge – I feel good knowing that my body can take those calories and use them for my workout tomorrow! :)

Hope this helps! Good luck! :)


Cynthia (It All Changes) August 24, 2010 at 2:14 pm

This post was so inspiring I went back and read it twice.

Even after I was rid of the binging and purging of my bulimia I was obsessed with counting. Weight, points, exercise minutes. It hasn’t been until I started listening to my body and the foods that made me feel healthy instead of what was low in calorie/points etc and taking care of injuries instead of pushing myself to the point of needing surgery that I truly was able to change my mindset.

I still struggle some days but I go back and read my own journey post on my blog to see how far I’ve come. I get so stuck in today sometimes that I need to see where I was to appreciate today.


Sana August 24, 2010 at 2:17 pm

I was a very nervous child and so the thought of eating in the morning would literally make me gag! I did not start eating breakfast until I was 18 and now at (21) I wake up starving and I can’t wait to fuel my body!


Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) August 24, 2010 at 2:18 pm

From about the ages of 12 – 18 I never ate breakfast … mostly because I wanted to sleep in, and didn’t have time to eat. Now, I would die without my breakfast :-)


Natasha August 24, 2010 at 2:34 pm

I totally get when you say that you felt everyone else was deserving of breakfast, but not you. I remember being completely mystified by how all these people could eat not only breakfast, but for me, CARBS, and not be overweight?? I just could not fathom that I could ever do that. I too had resigned myself to a life consumed by an eating disorder.
But somehow, miraculously, tomorrow I will be 5 whole months purge-free and eating breakfast religiously (and LOVING it!). I cannot imagine not eating breakfast now- I cherish my steelcut oats in the morning!
Thank you again for always being open and honest regarding your struggles with your ED.


Bess @ I Dream of Greenie August 24, 2010 at 2:55 pm

I can completely relate to this post. When I battled with disordered eating, the first thought I had every morning when I woke up was how I had eaten gasp, 1,000 calories the day before and immediately needed to spend my “breakfast” feverishly trekking on the elliptical.

And yes, I had the constant yawns, as well as horrible body shivers and awful mood swings. So glad I decided to respect my body and work through the crippling attitude towards food and my body.

I am thrilled that I conquered these issues and breakfast especially has a special place in my heart now :)


Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin August 24, 2010 at 3:16 pm

I always love reading this kinds of posts from you. It’s so awesome to hear about how far you’ve come. I definitely went through some huge changes to my eating habits over the past few years. Throughout my teens I had the worst body image and I would binge eat because of it, and then when I hit university I started drastically restricting. Like you, my thoughts were so consumed with numbers and calorie counts – it was exhausting! It was only in the past few months that I’ve started to develop a more healthy approach to eating, thanks to food blogs! :D


Natasha August 24, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Completely unrelated, but….
please don’t ever change your blog to the condensed version, where you have to click in to each individual post to read them! I am sad to see another fav blog of mine, CNC, has gone that route.
I Love how we can scroll down through your posts!


annie August 24, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I love this post. You’ve got a great attitude and have made such awesome progress! I really admire that. :)


Alice August 24, 2010 at 5:03 pm

One of the things I love most about your blog is how honest and raw your posts are. I feel as though you share so much of yourself with each post and I honestly feel as though I almost know you personally just from reading here.
I am always left so inspired and motivated and enthused to continue living a healthy and active lifestyle.
Well done on overcoming your ED and being able to teach the rest of us how great a healthy life is – and how much yumminess the food can be!!!


Alycia [Fit n Fresh] August 24, 2010 at 5:04 pm

A really candid post. I have never personally struggled with any type of eating disorder, but I can totally empathize with what you wrote. On a happier note – I loveddd the pumpkin chocolate VOO! Definitely will be making that many times in the fall :)


kelly August 24, 2010 at 6:06 pm

I can relate (as most of the above). I went vegan at the end of my freshman year of college. In the following 6 months, I lost about 35 pounds (and I was underweight when I went vegan). It was a rough time and I severely limited my calories. To this day, I still can’t eat a big breakfast. I try not to eat a big lunch either, because I can’t trust myself to not let it all unravel at night when I am at home and bored.

even though I have gained the weight back, there’s still the mental struggle. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away.


Becca August 24, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Hi Angela, I’m 20 and still trying to overcome a lot of anxiety about what/how much i eat. Reading posts like this really inspire me to keep on track and just remember to be healthy, period. Thanks.

I also have a question for you, and I hope you haven’t already read all these comments and won’t see mine! I wouldn’t call myself a strict vegan or even vegetarian, but I am really mindful about how much meat and dairy I consume, and where it comes from. I’d like to cut down on the dairy I eat as sometimes it messes with my stomach, but I’m really worried about calcium- osteoperosis runs inmy family. How have you managed to make sure you get enough calcium without eating dairy? I know you can get it in kale and spinach, but wouldn’t you have to eat a LOT of that stuff to get the calcium you need?

Please let me know, I’d love to hear your creative solutions!


Emily August 24, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Such an inspiring post! I can totally relate, there were so many morning where I only allowed myself a small amount of oats and half a banana…not the fuel I needed after 4 mile runs and weight training!! Thanks to blogs like yours and fabulous and delicious breakfast recipes and photos, I now LOVE breakfast and giving my body all the delicious fuel it needs :)


Stefanie August 24, 2010 at 6:49 pm

My story is like yours but I am still learning. I used to never eat breakfast then I started eating an apple for breakfast. Slowly, I increased my food intake at breakfast time. I’m trying to add new breakfast ideas into my routine but I like my oats too much. Your concoctions have helped me a lot. Ever since moving out on my own I have started to eat better and not afraid of food.


Jenn August 24, 2010 at 7:16 pm

This is great information :) Thanks so much for this post


Re August 24, 2010 at 7:55 pm

About 5 years ago, I had a lightbulb moment and released I was the fat person in my family, so I changed the way I looked at food, I started exercising and looked at food as something that was here to fuel my body and give me the energy to exercise. I lost 25 kilos, became a vegetarian, your website has all so given me some great food ideas, living in Australia it is hard to get some things, but, yesterday I found the Marys Gone Crackers (I am eating the peppercorn ones now), I also tried Raw Chocolate Coconut Butter (This is awesome, I wish I could marry it hahaha), Quinoa, there are so many new things in my diet now, that if you had shown me these things 5 years ago I would have laughed and said I wasn’t eating that crap. Some of my friends do comment that I eat alot, then I panic abit and think am I eating too much, will I wake up fat again, but, then I think No, the foods I eat are healthy and keep my full so I don’t snack on crap foods.


Callie August 24, 2010 at 8:10 pm

I used to be just like you, skipping breakfast and sometimes dinner whenever possible. It was awful! I also memorized exactly what nutrition facts were on whatever I ate, mostly processed stuff.
This was a great post, I could really relate to it.


Amanda August 24, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Thanks for posting this! I used to eat a light yogurt and half a banana for breakfast at 730 and not eat again til 1 for lunch. I remember being starving around 1030 and just enduring it. Meals were never fun or enjoyable, just a number of calories to burn off. I am SO thankful for healthy blogs like yours that show what real, active women eat to maintain their weight. It is SO refreshing and I never want to go back to where I was! Now I bound out of bed, excited to eat my oatmeal or smoothie :)


Kelsey @ Clean Teen Kelsey August 24, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Angela, I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I LOVE your blog. Seriously, you are so inspirational to me. I admire you a lot; thank you for everything you have taught me through your posts.


Cara August 24, 2010 at 10:50 pm

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! I fell in love with your blog when I read your “about me” page because I finally found someone that I could relate to, someone who had overcome and who is enjoying live and food. Not fearing that which fuels and sustains my body is my goal, as well as loving myself. This post came at the perfect time for me :)

you rock!!!


Amber K August 24, 2010 at 11:05 pm

My eating has been all over the place! To the pure junk I used to eat, to the diet “healthy” foods, to now where I try and eat mostly clean, non-processed things. Although I still struggle sometimes with a healthy body image.


Heather McClees August 24, 2010 at 11:26 pm

Hi! I LOVE the new Chocolate Pumpkin recipe ! I just LOVE chocolate pumpkin recipes! I actually just made a new vegan muffin I’m super excited about featuring pumpkin and chocolate. Pumpkin is such an indulging way to get in fiber and Vitamin A. I love it. It just screams fall:) Plus, chocolate is my daily sanity. I’m allergic to carob but chocolate keeps me glowing and VERY happy:) Check out the new recipe pics on my site, and the recipe posts tomorrow!: )

*’I’m such a fan- you’re amazing*
Heather McClees


Traci August 25, 2010 at 5:19 am

What an encouraging log. I too have and still in some ways struggle with an ED but I am learning so much. You are truly a blessing;) keep up the good work and all those yummy recipes.


Christal Espelage August 25, 2010 at 9:16 am

I currently am 2 weeks into trying to clean up my eating. I am so glad I found your blog because it is really going to help me along the way!!!

Thanks for sharing all of your recipes!


Sarah @Gluten-free tries Vegan August 25, 2010 at 9:43 am

Whilst I don’t have an ED anymore, to be honest, i’m not there yet and i’m not sure where there is! I have an apple for breakfast and huge salad with nuts and dressing for lunch. Some days I feel my carb intake should be higher so I have GF muesli or oats for breakfast but then I just end up feeling full and sluggish. Same when I try having a GF roll for lunch. I’m still experimenting so I guess I’ll see if it’s something my body just needs to get used to :)

Love this post xxx


Koko August 25, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Wow, I’m totally still dealing with this right now. I am making progress though but it is so hard…In late high school I would eat 1/2 of a grapefruit for breakfast and considering I never ate lunch, that is what I lived on until my small salad at dinner. Somehow I manage to work out for 45 minutes- 2 hours every single day. But man….was I ever exhausted. I still have difficulty with breakfast, and really struggle with the idea of eating a whole bowl of oats in the morning (even though yours look SOO GOOD- my mind just won’t let me yet). I’ve been doing green monsters, and also some other protein smoothies, I can also do a piece of yeast-free toast with almond butter. I am getting there…slowly but surely. I know I can do it. This is the first time I’ve commented here (I literally do not talk about my eating problems at all on my blog) but it’s so nice to know that someone else has been through the bingeing and restricting and has made it past that. It’s blogs like yours that help me to know that I can, too.


kellie August 26, 2010 at 9:49 am

Hi Angela,
I LOVE your blog and am a daily follower. I have been thinking about this post for a cople of days and finally decided to comment. I found your blog in the depth of a deep depression and a struggle with an ED, looking for inspiration to regain my appetite for food and for life. It is still a daily struggle but having the amazing opportunity to see into your personal life and see a healthy, beautiful woman eating and enjoying healthy food is very inspirational. I was so touched by this post because I felt like you took the thoughts and feelings right from me, it is so comforting to know there are others who have been through this and gotten out of it. I find myself at that crossroad of wanting to get better but not knowing how to take that big scary leap without the debilitating fear of losing all control. do you have any books/thoughts/tricks that helped you turn your life around once and for all?
thanks again for all your inspiration and daily dose of positivity!


Stacy August 26, 2010 at 2:02 pm

My breakfast has significantly changed. I call it being stuck in the HFCS cereal rut. Then I discovered your website and the wonders of the Green Monster. It has changed my life. Thanks to them I actually have energy after eating breakfast, as opposed to the carb coma. My skin has improved thanks to the natural ingredients and good for me nutrients. I finally found my glow. I want to thank you and your Green Monster movement for changing not only my breakfast but my life. You know that statement “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”, I finally get it :)


Julie Gaglione August 26, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I love your site, Angela! I don’t think you have to have had an ED to have disordered eating. At 44 I am just now learning how disordered my eating has been, and I am beginning to get my glow on for the first time.

Can’t wait to try your recipes…all of them!


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