Toot, toot!
All aboard, the Operation Beautiful Virtual Book Tour!
I am excited to be talking about a body image topic that is very near and dear to my heart this morning- Happy Weights!
But first, a delicious, healthy, and energizing breakfast!
YUM!!!!
Morning Glow Vegan Overnight Oats
Ingredients:
- Classic Vegan Overnight Oats (1/3 cup oats, 1.5 tbsp chia seeds, 1 cup Almond milk, 1 tbsp Amazing Grass chocolate Amazing Meal powder)
- 1/2 apple, chopped
- 1/4 cup blueberries
- 1 dried apricot, chopped
- 1/2 Raw Energy Cookie Bites
- 1 tbsp peanut butter
- Drizzle of maple syrup, optional
Directions: Mix classic vegan overnight oat ingredients and leave in fridge overnight or in fridge for 1-2 hours. When VOO is ready, stir in mix-ins (chopped apple, blueberries, apricot, 1/2 cookie bite, peanut butter. Serve and enjoy!
This was soooooo delicious.
Revved up and ready to roll!
Fun fact about the OB book- OSGMOM has the very first note in the entire book!
You can also find me on pages 25 (my OB note) and 129-131 (I talk about the Superwoman Syndrome). I am so honoured to be a part of this great book!
OK, let’s begin.
I went on a post-it spree in Wal-Mart in honour of this post!
Happy Weight: What It Means To Me
The term Happy Weight seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?
I mean, who is ever happy with their weight?
I define a Happy Weight as a weight that your body can maintain with relative ease where you feel healthy, energetic, and sane.
How many women do you know who have said to you, ‘I am at my happy weight?’ and then 2 months later they still say the same thing? And a year later they still say the same thing? It is usually along the lines of, ‘In 10 pounds I will be at my happy weight’ or ‘Just 5 more pounds to lose until I am happy with myself.’
At least for me it always was.
Part of the problem is that the weight we think will make us happy is often not the right weight for our body.
The weight that we desire and the weight that the media tells us we should be is often NOT the weight our own body is happy at. This happy weight will be different for every single one of us. My Happy Weight is not the same as yours and your Happy Weight is not the same as your sisters or your best friends. We are all unique.
It took me years to figure this out. In the process my weight went up and down and up and down.
Many women pick a specific number on the scale that they want to reach. We chose our goal and we do everything in our power to get there and stay there. Often in the process, we lose ourselves and forget that we have worth outside of this goal.
An ‘unhappy weight’ is a weight that we do not feel our best at energy wise, health wise, and hunger wise.
For years, I used to battle with myself, with food, and with the scale to maintain my weight. I fought the battle every single day to stay at that weight. Every morning when I opened my eyes, the first thought in my mind was about my weight. I vowed to eat less and to workout more. To stop bingeing. At night, I would often cry into my pillow, ashamed at myself for eating ‘too much’ food or for being weak and bingeing on junk food. The cycle of shame, guilt, and desperation went on for years.
I always told myself in 10 pounds, I would finally be happy. All I had to do was lose 10 pounds and achieve ‘x’ weight and my life would fall into place. In 10 pounds, I could eat normally, binges would stop, and I could stop hating myself. All I had to do was lose 10 pounds and my problems would be solved.
I would love myself in 10 pounds….but not yet.
Not yet.
For myself, and for many women, the number on the scale is sadly a barometer for our own self-love and self-worth.
If the scale tipped higher, I hated myself a bit more. If it tipped lower, I was a better person worthy of at least a small amount of love, but of course not fully until I achieved my goal weight.
Not yet. Some day though.
I promise.
Well, I finally did lose those 10 pounds and when I got there I realized that the number was actually not my happy weight. I couldn’t love myself yet because- wait for it- I actually had a new goal weight! I was mistaken before. I thought my happy weight was 10 pounds less, but I was wrong, it was actually in another 5 pounds.
I guess I was wrong.
I would love myself someday, but….
Not yet.
Not yet.
5 more pounds, and I promise that you can be happy again. You can eat more in 5 pounds. I can eat normally again. I will love myself. I will be able to concentrate on my school work. I won’t binge when I lose 5 pounds. I will be free of the monsters that tell me I am no good.
These thoughts are easily justified in the mind of someone suffering with disordered eating. You are never good enough. Life passes you by as you chase after happiness in a number.
The problem- and I didn’t figure this out for years- was that when I allowed the scale to be a barometer for my happiness, the number will never be good enough. I will never be happy living this way. Happiness is not derived from some extrinsic factor, it has to come from within to have a lasting impact.
So many women chase a specific number on the scale. When we approach it, it slips away from our grasp like a wet bar of soap. We try desperately to cling harder to it, and it shoots in the opposite direction. We trip and fall many times chasing it. The harder that I clung to my strict diet and exercise regime, the worse my binges got and the more the scale climbed and climbed which only perpetuated the negative thoughts and desire to restrict. It is an extremely hard cycle to get out of.
So how did I find my happy weight?
It took me years and a lot of hard work to find my happy weight, but I can now confidently say that I am there. I attribute this to several choices that I made along my journey. These are my own personal choices and I do not assume that they are necessary for others. It is simply my own experience and what worked for me.
1) I claimed responsibility for my happiness
- For so long, I felt powerless about my own happiness with myself and my body-image. I felt like I couldn’t change myself, my thoughts, or my actions. One day it occurred to me that I had to finally accept responsibility for my happiness. If I didn’t, who would?
2) I ditched the scale
- While I don’t think scales can make us unhappy (ultimately, we have the power to decide that!), I do think the scale was negative for me. To this day I do not weigh myself. The scale can be a useful tool for many people, but it was poison in my life and I chose to stop weighing myself. I have never been happier since ditching the scale.
3) I got professional help
- Having suffered from an eating disorder since the age of 12, I strongly believe the only way I could beat the negativity and find my happy weight was to seek out the help of an experienced professional. I tried and failed many times on my own, but things started to fall into place when I had the counsel of a loving professional. You have to want the help first though. My commitment and determination + a loving professional = the right tools for progress. There is no shame in talking to someone!
4) I stopped counting calories
- Just like scales, calorie counting can be a useful tool for weight loss. However, in the hands of the wrong individual (like myself) calorie counting turned into an obsession. I couldn’t stop even when I tried and it took over my life. I had to get rid of calorie counting and I instead chose to listen to my body’s hunger signals. It took me years to be able to do this successfully. For so long I had denied my hunger that I found it was almost impossible to listen once I tried. The worst part was that I continued to binge even when I stopped counting calories because my body didn’t trust me. However, overtime my body trusted me again and I became in-tune with my body’s needs. This does not happen over night…patience is a virtue.
5) I exercise for FUN and for a healthy personal challenge (not just to burn calories!)
- I never focus on how many calories I burn during workouts anymore. I focus on how I feel and I do things that I enjoy like racing. Find what you enjoy and stick with it. Set goals. See what your body is capable of! Make it an adventure.
Today, I can’t tell you how much I weigh (because I don’t know), but I can tell you that I am at my Happy Weight. I know this because I eat healthy foods when I am hungry and I exercise in a moderate amount. Some days I overeat or indulge in too many sweets, but other times I pass up on dessert. It is all about finding a balance. I don’t starve myself anymore and my body feels no need to binge. My body is happy because it stays about the same size and my clothes fit how they should. If my pants get a bit tight, I know to pass up on a few desserts or extra servings here and there. Nothing extreme anymore.
For the first time in my life, I don’t care how much I weigh because I know that I am healthy and happy. As long as I have this, no number will ever be able to dictate how I feel about myself again.
I decided that all scales should come with a disclaimer when you open up the package…
Half way through writing this disclaimer, I was overcome with emotion and I broke down into tears. I wasn’t expecting to feel those intense emotions after all this time. I guess my heart still remembers the pain I went through for many years.
The fight was worth it.
I am worth the fight.
And so are you.
If you would like to be entered in a random draw to win a copy of the Operation Beautiful book, please leave a response below.
What would your ‘Scale Disclaimer’ read? What does a happy weight mean to YOU?
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{ 356 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post. To me my happy weight is the weight my body can sustain naturally while being healthy (eating well and exercising). I finally cued into my body’s signals of hunger and satisfaction and found my happy weight easily. Instead of eating a whole pizza because I had a hard day and “deserved it” I now will eat pizza if my body tells me thats what it needs.
Such a well written post! I have looked forward to this all week! I’m not yet sure what my happy weight would mean…I guess one at which I can run my fastest and still have the energy to study hard and go out and do fun things with friends, not fall asleep early all the time. In addition to your notes, my scale disclaimer would say “This is not a measure of how fast you will be as a runner” because I am so much faster than a lot of girls who are smaller!
Love this post.
I’m currently trying to gain weight during pregnancy (9 months pregnant and have only gained 12pounds) so I think that right now my scale disclaimer would say, “This number has nothing to do with how healthy your baby is or how much you love him. Enjoy this time without stress sister, “
I can relate to so much of what you have written in this post. My ‘happy weight’ keeps going further down and down each time I reach it, I think your post may be what I need to finally accept that were I am now is my happy weight!
xxx
What a beautiful post, Angela. I was inspired to ditch the scale awhile ago and it changed my life too – in the best and most positive way.
Your blog is always an inspiration for me <3 I'm at my happy weight at last!
Man, this post rings so true to me and I’m sure so many other people!
I’ve been losing weight for about three years now and I have had to learn a LOT about myself in the process. Most recently I had to force myself to do what you did, I threw out the scale (well, my boyfriend recycled it for me). Although I knew in my head that the emotions I attached to the number I saw were not the scales fault but my own distorted thinking, it was just something I could no longer allow in my life to dictate my happiness.
Losing weight without it, however, has been a struggle. Now I’m having to find new ways in which to gauge my weight loss and it’s been a HUGE adjustment for me but although my weight loss has slowed down, I no longer have my “goal weight” in mind. My new plan is to lose until I get to a point that I’m at that Happy Weight!
Thanks for such an amazing post, Angela! I can’t wait to read Operation Beautiful! My scale disclaimer would definitely read that the number I see is just a gauge of weight, NOT self-worth. There’s no way I can churn out a 15km run and say that my week was a failure!
What a great post. And how awesome that you AND your mum are in the book!
I have always been at my happy weight (NB this does NOT mean I have always been/always am happy with my body, that’s another story!), basically because I have NEVER known how much I weigh. And on those rare occasions that I have to be weighed at the hospital or drs, the numbers mean nothing to me. Same with my height really. I’m short. That’s all I need to know.
There was no scale in our house growing up. All I can say is my mum = awesome!
What an incredible post. You are such an inspiration, Angela!
You just had me crying at work.
Very inspiring post. My disclaimer would read: “Warning: this device is limited to the measurements of this earth. God does not care how much you weigh. He loves you and created you to be just the way you are. There can never be a more beautiful you. Love yourself as He loves you.” :)
My scale disclaimer would say: “Only use me if you want to weigh your luggage for a nice trip!” Because this really is the only time I use my scale :-D
Much like you, I made my happiness to be dependent on the scale numbers for a very long time. I don’t do this anymore. I ditched my scale years ago because I wanted the struggle with myself to be over – and I feel great.
Thanks so much for your inspiration!!!
Julia your comment made me smile- the only reason I own a scale is because I needed to weigh my luggage before a trip to Europe on a discount airline :)
I now weigh myself every so often-but mostly as a before/after long run thing to make sure I’m adequately hydrated.
My disclaimer would read: Warning: This number does NOT define you.
I happy weight for me means (just 2.5 lbs more to go….hahaha. j/k) being able to eat healthy and maintain a natural body weight and having some flex room. A happy weight for me is measured in the comfort of my jeans, not the size on the tag or number on the scale. Although I struggle with this and need the constent reminder. My scale would scream: “Girl! Get over it! Spend less time here and more time with the many more important relationships in your life!”
Im still learning tho. But are arn’t we all?
Funny…this is exactly what I needed to read this AM.
Last summer my family joined a gym, I got a personal trainer and I started to finally get the healthier body I’d wanted for so long. This is, I should point out, AFTER spending two years working with an acupuncturist and a therapist! Everything was going along swimmingly until March, when I had to have laproscopic surgery to remove a fibroid tumor from my fallopian tube. My doctor warned me that it would take six months to bounce back…
Fast forward to this last month or so. My weight is up 15 lbs from where it was pre-surgery, I’ve started to resent (and fight) the daily calorie counting/food tracking and emotionally I feel worse off than when I started. Top this off with widely different medical advice from four different sources….and, well, let’s just say I’m not happy at all right now.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about is the two drastically different approaches to weight loss and health. There is the ‘track and count everything side’ and the ‘learn to trust your body side.’ In the long run, I think the second – which is what I see here – is undoubtably the healthiest, but it’s soooo hard to ditch the first – especially when you’ve seen it work!
Of course, I also have scale issues, and I absolutely love your disclaimer! As to what mine would say…it would include most of what yours has said, but would also say something to the effect of, “Your husband and kids don’t see you as a number.”
As to my happy weight….don’t even have a clue!
You are so inspiring! I began reading your blog first and that has been something that helped me remember that there are women who overcome bad body image and bad food habits. You set an amazing example as a healthy and fit woman who eats….a lot ;) Thanks for what you do. This is a great post!
I have been reading this blog for a month or so. (I found it around the same time I discovered Operation Beautiful and Healthy Tipping Point.) I have been so inspired by the stories everyone shares on the blogs and in the comments. As someone who relapsed (and is recovering from relapse) after several years of a very strong recovery, these blogs have reminded me that I’m more than my struggles with anorexia / binge eating / exercise bulimia.
One of the things that led to relapse was weighing after years of not weighing. I cannot remember how it happened, but it only took one step on the scale, and I relapsed. It is so scary. I feel like no one can really understand how it happens like that. It sounds like an alcoholic taking a drink and that’s what it feels like to me.
So, my scale disclaimer (I’m writing this on a piece of paper now – will take it with me in case I feel tempted to weigh on a scale):
Remember Geneen Roth: “Scales are for fishes.” For this moment, I choose not to let a machine tell me something about myself. Have courage and be brave. No one cares what you weigh. People care that you are healthy and happy. Fill your life with love and there’s no room for the scale.
What does ‘happy weight’ mean to me? Happy weight is not a math-based equation that can be solved by my height and ‘frame’. Happy weight is how I carry myself and feel. Do I constantly ache from fatigue and foods that poison my system? That’s not happy weight. Seeing my skin glow (not orange from too many carrots!), my teeth sparkle, my hair shine, my eyes glisten, and feeling my body strong is a happy weight. When I stand up tall and remind myself (and others) that life should be joyful, that’s a happy weight.
PS – Thanks so much for this site and all of the other women recovering from EDs having the courage to share their journeys. I was lucky enough to be able to have the help of a therapist during my initial recovery from ED. However, with this relapse, my job and two children have really meant that I’m on my own. At least that’s how it felt. With this group of people, I feel like I’m not alone and that I’m going to be OK. You really inspire me.
Angie
What would your ‘Scale Disclaimer’ read? What does a happy weight mean to YOU?
I love this post. I have been following the Virtual Book Tour all week and I must say you are all an inspiration.
What would your ‘Scale Disclaimer’ read?
“This scale does not show you the amount of happiness you have, how healthy you are, or how fulfilled your life truly is. Remember, everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
What does a happy weight mean to YOU?
My Happy Weight means I can wake up every morning and get out of bed, I can walk my 2 dogs every night, I can spend countless hours laughing with the man of my dreams, I can run around with my nieces, nephew, and children I babysit, and I can enjoy everyday here on earth all the while not worrying about how “beautiful” I am because I know deep down that I am amazing just the way God made me.
Thank you for this Angela! this was beautiful and i know i can relate to it!
What an amazing post! Incredible.
My scale disclaimer would say:
Warning: The number that is displayed is indeed just a number. It should not dictate your eating habits, workout behavior and most importantly, your happiness. A heavy reliance on this number may cause neurotic behavior, self hatred and/or unnecessary binge eating episodes. Use of this scale (if absolutely necessary) should be only one of MANY tools used to indicate where you are at in your journey (other tools might include how your clothing fits, how you feel physically AND emotionally, etc). YOU ARE MORE THAN A NUMBER. DO NOT LET THE SCALE CONVINCE YOU OTHERWISE.
A happy weight for me is where I am right now. I eat healthy as much as I can, I indulge every now and again, I workout and run 5 out of 7 days of the week and I feel content with everything I am doing. I am happiest when I know i’ve put the work in regarding healthy living. The scale used to dictate how much I would eat or NOT eat for that matter and how much I would workout. I became so neurotic that I had to give it up. Now I focus on providing nourishment and activity for my body so it has the energy it needs to speed through the day. A happy weight for me is a balance between knowing my clothes fit the way they should and knowing that I am not obsessing about a number.
What a great post Angela, I got choked up reading your scale disclaimer!
Everything you wrote is so very true, and I use your blog/thoughts/recipes as a way to reinforce a healthy life. It’s amazing what a mind can do and I wish I could go back in time and change the mindset of a young me. Just this past weekend I had to clean out old boxes from my parents’ basement. I found my old highschool kilt. For over fifteen years, I have had the mindset/memory that I was fat/huge during high school. I put that sucker on and got it done up, but just. It hit me smack in the face that, wow, I have finally recognized how special I truly am and do not need a number on a piece of clothing to tell me what I am worth.
My scale disclaimer would therefore be, “Use me only if you want to encourage your negative thoughts. The number on the scale will not represent your true value nor what you are capable of. Use with caution.”
What an amazing post angela~~ I love it! i’m just now finding out what my happy weight really is and that everyones is different. :)
That was a beautiful post. Thank you.
Beautiful post! There are so many toxic factors in finding true happiness in your health, size, weight…etc. I actually had a long talk with my Husband the other night. He is incredibly loving and one of the ways he shows it is by pushing me to be my absolute best. If I say I want to tone up and get in better shape, he will research the best workout plan and the corresponding meal plan that will help me reach my goal. He will go to the gym with me and encourage me to the nth degree. As great as that sounds, it has adverse effects. Its very easy to feel that I’m not okay the way I am when he is pushing me so hard to become something else. When his constructive criticisms start to outweight his supportive compliments it slowly becomes too much for me, and then I feel like crap about myself. I had to explain to him the other day that even more than myself I want to be the best I can be for him, and that although I appreciate his help and support in reaching my goals more than I can say, I also need to know without a doubt that even if I don’t reach those goals he still loves me just the way I am. I could tell he was shocked to hear that he was a source that causes me to question myself. Needless to say there have been multiple, “You look very pretty when…” and “I’m proud of you (as I’m panting away on the treadmill)” and numerous kisses on the cheek and snuggles. I try not to put my worth and happiness in him, but I’m glad that I am able to see when I do and communicate with him about it.
Lauren, I can totally relate to this with my husband too! I know he means well, and I try to remind myself of that, but my (and many women’s!) relationship with weight is so complex that there are fine lines between support, suggestions, and criticism. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one that experiences this.
Angela, a beautifully honest post. Thank you for sharing your healing journey. So many of your insights resonate with me. I’m so happy that you have found balance (and lots of joy) in your life. It is always a pleasure to spend a few minutes with you via this blog.
I love the notes you posted in WalMart. Fantastic!
xo
Amazing post Angela!
I’m actually not really sure what my scale disclaimer would be because I’ve never even owned a scale. I believe that I am currently at my happy weight (and was reassured a month ago when I wore my high school graduation dress to my brother’s wedding rehersal and it still fit like a glove!) If I were to ever get a scale in my house however the disclaimer would read something like: “Remember, what shows up here is only a number. It’s how you feel inside that matters.”
Oh wow this is such a powerful powerful post. I too spent years feeling devastated by what I saw on the scales. It is only very recently that I have gotten into fitness and began feeling good about my body. I do still weigh myself occasionally but not every day as I used to. I am also paying more attention to how my clothes fit and how great I feel, rather than numebrs on a machine.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Alice
xx
Thank you for such a beautiful and important post! I struggled with borderline eating disorders throughout late teens/early 20s- it seemed whenever I was not 100% happy with my actual life and where it was going I would begin to starve myself, because that was one thing I could control. It was a vicious cycle, but then I fortunately ended the cycle and became fit, healthy and happy. I was a little worried this past year about falling back into that trap because I had my first baby (he is AMAZING), but he came with a lot of baby weight, I was worried I would begin to starve myself again b/c I was a little obsessed with losing the weight fast. I am so thankful that I didn’t fall into the trap and all of the weight came off in under 3 months by just eating healthy, being active and nursing my little guy- NATURE and God know what they’re doing :) Thanks again!!
Your second bullet point under point 2 is so important, and I find it very sad that anyone would believe they were only deserving of love if they weighed the ‘right’ amount.
I used to get hung up on reaching a certain number on the scale and every figure (140, 120 etc) would have meanings and feeling attached to it e.g. that is what a slim, attractive person would weigh, I would be happy with myself and how I looked if that was my weight. Then I did a simple thing – I switched my scale to kilograms. Suddenly the numbers were just numbers – I could keep track of my weight but the figures had no meaning or emotional attachment anymore.
Only once I made this switch was I actually able to lose weight! I was able to reach a healthy weight for me, because it just became a mechanical process with no emotional attachments.
This is a great idea! I don’t own a scale, and never have, but I can totally see how this would help. Similarly, I’ve started tracking my slow beginnings of becoming a runner in km. While I know certain markers (like 5k) and I can certainly do the math in my head if I want, it helps me focus on the process of jogging and not the “must get to X miles” or “why am I so winded after only X miles?”
What a beautiful post! I truly wish that more people could reach the level of awareness about their bodies that you have reached. It is so important to learn to listen to our bodies and eat when we are hungry, and stop when we are full. Our bodies are wise and if people would just slow down a little and listen, they would be amazed at what they hear! I credit my experience with a wonderful yoga teacher for teaching me this. I have always been into fitness and am a nutrition professional, but trusting one’s body wisdom can be a difficult thing to learn. Congratulations on being part of this wonderful book!
My happy weight gives me the opportunity to have the energy to be healthy and active. Nourish and benefit my organs.
Super fantastic post and thanks for posting in Walmart.
This is a great “mirror statement”!!! Thanks Jodie :-)
It’s exactly what I believe to be the main goal to achieve concerning your body.
If you really listen to what your body needs and learn what’s good and healthy for yourself, you will be able to achieve your happy weight and be a happy person.
Happy weight is one that powers you and supports your physical and mental goals. But your happy weight is also about your mental state.
My scale dislaimer would say: Why do you care what number I read? You are beautiful, loving, kind, a good person, and you and other people should love you for who you are. I think I am starting to realize, I am at my happy weight for my body. I am 5′ tall. I am small, but i weigh more than what people would guess… I am not skin and bones, I have some curves to me and I am healthy, and i LOVE me this way…
Thanks Angela for this very inspirational post!
Having been dealing with anorexia for more than 10 years now, body image discussions hit very cose to home for me. I’m so grateful to have amazing blogs such as yours to turn to when I feel discouraged in my recovery. I know that just a few minutes of reading from such strong women who overcame their negative thoughts gets me back on track every time.
For me, my happy weight is a weight at which food no longer needs to be the priority. at which I will not only have the energy to be the best wife, friend, daughter and sister that I can be, but a weight at which my body will allow me to have a child.
I am working very hard to get to that point and I feel the extra boost I am getting right now from all the Operation Beautiful discussions is just what I needed to get me through the last stretch of my recovery.
Thank you again Angela for being part of this,
Viviane xoxo
Wow what a wonderful post, thank you so much for sharing more of your story and struggles with us. You are right, You are a beautiful loved person and a number doesn’t change that. Have a wonderful weekend girl!
Kisses
Rach
My Scale Disclaimer will be “This number does not define the quality of my life.”
To me, happy weight means that I can move through life easily and comfortably, and not worry about what others think about my shape and size. (And not letting my Mother into my head about my weight.) I’m not there yet, but am moving in the right direction.
My disclaimer would read: Numbers may appear larger than they are. I find that when I weigh myself and whatever the number is, it’s huge. I’m trying to break free of the scale. My daughter in law has severe ED. I have learned a lot and I would do anything to help her beat this. I would like to give both of my DIL’s operation beautiful, because I want them to realize that they are loved and they are beautiful.
Angela, this post brought me to tears and while I was reading it I kept nodding and nodding … yes, I went through the same stages!! A fight each and every single day … all those notes in my diary “I have to be better with food & sports” over and over again, waiting for the day where I’d be “perfect” in my eyes!!
It was also really hard for me to learn that other people canNOT see that I have gained a pound or that I haven’t trained in a week … no, they only might see the unhappy face and notice and feel the unhappy and “haunted” vibe and wonder why it’s there.
My “scale disclaimer” would say exactly this:
this scale doesn’t tell you what people see in you or what you see in yourself – it’s up to you to make things happen and make things real!! Weight has nothing to do with this! Smile each and every single day!
And for me a happy weight is a weight that my body feels most comfortable with … and I am sure that every person is able to find his or her happy weight – and it’s up to each and every single one alone!
You have to FEEL this … (intuitive eating comes in here) you should be able to move freely and without breathlessness, your body will let you eat loads of healthy food with some indulgence thrown in and it will make you feel strong, it will enable you to conceive and have a beautiful, healthy baby (or more than one :-)) …
And you should never forget that each one of us just gets ONE BODY !! This body will carry us through everything! The good times, the bad … being parents, being grandparents, being ill, being old.
So I think our body deserves to have the best treatment and all our love!!
Most days, I can now leave my weight to fitting in my clothes. I have not sworn off the scale, but it doesn’t dictate me. I remember vividly just before graduation in HS BRAGGING (and, how funny is that to think of) to someone that I was UP to 117 pounds. After being much too thin for much too long, reaching a healthy BMI was a big deal. By no means did my struggle stop when I was 18, but it is a moment in time that the number meant entirely too much to me.
Great post! Very inspirational and was nice to read. I have a problem accepting my healthy weight. I don’t know if I am quite there but almost, i have to work on the mind side of things. Your website has actually helped me a lot in learning to listen to my body, do things that are good for it, and forget about the number on the scale. My disclaimer for the scale would be
“The number shown does not define who you are, how much your body can do for you, how smart you are, or how beautiful you really are.”
I love your post Angela. When I was in the depths of my eating disorder I used to say “Just XX more pounds and I’ll be happy.” Of course, I always lost those pounds and was never satisfied. I think every time I reached whatever the goal weight was, I felt worse. I was always expecting to get to that weight and all of a sudden I’d feel good and start loving myself. Now I realize how ridiculous that sounds!
what a beautiful post, angela! thank you so much for sharing your past experiences so freely and honestly. you’ve come such a long way! you really are a positive example for so many.
a note i would/should/could place on my scale is “just get off of me and go enjoy your day!” :)
Oh my gosh Angela, this brought me to tears. I’m in recovery for anorexia and just recently got rid of the scale but have seen my weight at the dietician and it does dictate my whole day, what I eat etc.. I think all scales should come wrapped in the yellow tape that says hazardous with a warning that says “this machine does not determine your self worth”.
Because to me yah that scale has measured if I was being good enough(not eating my full meal plan), or being bad(following my meal plan). i recently had a breast cancer scare and sitting there with all those women who are in treatment made me realize wow how they just are thankful to be alive everyday. I need to be grateful I have the energy to lift weight, the appetite to eat and learn to love a fit, healthy, strong body not a skinny waify one you’d expect to see on a runway because if i keep trying to keep my weight there eventually my organs are going to give out and i’m going to be sitting there like those women.
Happy weight to me is when I’m as comfortable in front of the camera as behind it. Happy weight is when I look at myself just like my kids and husband do – I’m the MOM/WIFE they love to spend time with – They think I’m great just the way I am. Focus on a healthy body and a content spirit.
My scale post – Why do you care? This number does nothing to represent how you feel inside. Slow down, quiet down – listen to what your body is saying. You are surrounded by love and support. Take advantage of it. You are beautiful and have so much to offer.
Your post touched me, but also hurt to read. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like I was at a “happy weight.” I think that it was probably when I was back in college, but I didn’t appreciate it then, and that makes me mad at myself. Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose. Now that I’m about fifty pounds above that, I look back and get really irritated at myself that I didn’t feel like it was good enough then. However, I think that was probably when I was most comfortable in my own skin. Even then, it was higher that some girls at my height, but it looked fine because I have a pretty big frame (broad shoulders and muscular thighs).
A “happy weight” for me would be one where my blood pressure was closer to normal, I don’t feel tired all of the time, and I don’t feel so obsessed with food (in a bad way) anymore. It would be one where I don’t get out of breath running up a flight of stairs (although I can run 1/2 mile without stopping now!!). It would be one where I could put my hands on my waist and have them actually fit.
I think that my scale disclaimer should be “GET THE HELL OFF ME AND ENJOY YOUR FREAKING LIFE!” I try not to weigh every day, but it’s hard not to, and though I know that weights fluctuate (I worked for Weight Watchers for seven years), I still get upset when I’m higher one day. I shouldn’t let it rule me.
Thanks for this. And thanks to Caitlin. I just found out that she moved to my town, so I feel like I have a celeb right here in Charlotte! Pretty cool.
And you, Angela, inspire me to run that extra 30 seconds, which I know will become another 30 seconds. And another. And another.
:)
My disclaimer would read something like: True health is not measured in numbers…it’s measured in how you feel and how you treat yourself.
Ange,
Thank you so much for this beautiful,powerful and inspiring post. Reading about your journeyto a healthy and happy weight and love of life has been imensely inspiring to me on my own journey. I am happy to say that I, too, have diyche the scale and begun to find pecs and happiness with my body and my life.
My disclaimer would read: this does not measure the worth of your kidness, the strength of your love, or the the immense size of your heart. The number that appears could never account for the amount of happiness and joy that can come to you through the love you share with those around you.
This post made me so sad because I am the girl you used to be. I’ve been on a perma-diet for the last 4 years losing 42lbs and gaining it back then hating myself for doing so, a complete lack of self confidence, not able to where the clothes I want, you know the drill. So then I start off with all the best intentions healthy eating going to the gym daily – then I slip up, chastise myself for doing so and then spiral downhill, EVEN though I know this is counter-productive and not going to help me at all. I currently weigh myself every day first thing when I wake up then feel like crap pretty much regardless of what the scale says, I even got rid of one set of scales for a few months but then went and bought some more and the obsession recommenced. My scale disclaimer would read “This scale does not define you – do not step on” I have no idea what a healthy weight means to me because I havn’t been at one for about 6 years, but I think it would represent a weight where I could wear the clothes I want to and feel confident, where my weight didn’t dictate my life, and where I was just… me.
Wow! That was really inspiring. I have never had an issue with disordered eating but have always been interested in helping people who do struggle with it. Even though one might not have a full blow eating disorder, I think all of us, especially women are bombarded with images and messages that make us feel like we will never be good enough unless we look a certain way. I think what you doing is great! I’m sure your words are helping many girls out there who are struggling and also those who may not be to have a different outlook on life and happiness :)
I’d love to tell you what my happy weight is, but I’m still struggling. And I’d love to tell you what disclaimer I’d put on the scale, but I’m still trying to break my obsession. :(
This is one of your best posts (and they are all good!). This has been a long and dedicated road for you to find hapiness, but I am so glad you did! Thank you for inspiring and educating others and for sharing your personal story with all of us. You look beautiful, now more than ever, and it is not because of your size, but because you radiate happiness! :)
Thank you so much for this post. I am 15 years old, I was battling disordered eating. I would restrict. I would binge. I would lose. I would gain. But I would never win. Your blog has helped me so much. Thank you for talking about your struggles with binging especially because its an embarassing topic. No one wants to admit it. Your blog comes into my mind whenever I feel unworthy.
SCALE DISCLAIMER: Your not going to look like that one girl. Why? Because she’s not you!!! Live your life…live your life.
OSG, thanks to you, I’ve started living mine.
I love this! I want to print it out and highlight the key points! :) PS I didn’t know that was OSGMOM’s note! I am delighted to see that!
I love you and your honesty. Thank you for leading the way so eligantly! You truly are a role model. I can’t wait to be my peaceful place like you are. ;-)
I have been there, too! I made my boyfriend put is scale away, so I don’t weight myself anymore either. And I rarely exercise on gym machines that tell me the calories I have burned. I tend to fixate on numbers, so videos, yoga, and outside workouts are so much better. Health and happiness really are not about a number, but about health. If your weight is putting you at risk health wise, then yea, maybe a change is in order, but if you are healthy, then that number is fine. It is a measure of health, not worth!
I would like to share a poem with you. It was written by me for children. I have struggled with the scale all my life and have watched my daughters do the same. It is truly heartbreaking. The poem is part of a curriculum package from the Elementary Teacher’s Federation. Have a look at it if you get a chance.
Rachelle Marsan (formerly North)
http://www.etfo.ca/Resources/BodyImageProject/Resources/ETFO_Resources/Moon%20Poem.pdf
http://www.etfo.ca/Resources/BodyImageProject/Resources/ETFO_Resources/Moon%20Poem.pdf
What a powerful post, Angela.
This is something that really resonates with me, because I feel like I’m currently struggling through the difficult stage in which you have to let calories and the scale go. Even though it’s been difficult and I’ve gained about 10 lbs since trying to break away, I feel stronger than ever because I know that I’m moving in the right direction.
This is a very deep issue that many girls can relate to, and I think you perfectly laid out the words that so many of us have trouble finding. Thank you.
Beautiful post, Angela. This was very touching and really hit home with me. I could totally relate- up until a year ago, I had wasted 5 years of my life trying to get to the next lowest number on the scale through ridiculously eating disordered behaviour, trying to reach a weight at which I could finally “be normal”. Much to my surprise, the lower the number went, the more I hated myself and the more impetus I placed on myself to “do better”. One of the cornerstones of the treatment programs I recently finished was reaching my “set point” weight- that is, the weight my body would naturally defend. To do so I had to go pretty much cold-turkey on the exercise for 8 months, eat a prescribed meal plan, and work through my various issues. I have maintained my happy weight for 6 months exercise-free, and I am so excited that last night I finally got to go back to a type of physical activity that I really, truly enjoy- dance. Knowing what I know now, I’m able to treat my body with the respect it deserves and really live my life. Thanks again for the wonderful post- especially the “steps” to reaching that happy weight- I think many people could benefit from that advice, no matter the severity of their eating-and-exercise hangups. The wonderful attitude that you have simply shines through all of your posts, and it is posts like these that keep me reading your blog!
Sorry, I sent the same link twice. I meant to send this one.
http://www.etfo.ca/SiteCollectionDocuments/Issues%20in%20Education%20Documents/Body%20Image/Body_Image_Brochure.pdf
This post was truly inspirational. Like you, I suffered from an eating disorder from the moment my metabolism caught up to me. After reading inspirational stories such as yours, my mind woke up one day and completely changed its course. I stopped obsessing over my weight, and stopped dying to be a size 0 supermodel type. Now, I listen to my body, and use the way I fit into my clothes and how healthy I feel as a guide. I now follow the mantra that the body is a temple, and take good care of it in every way possible.
Back then, my scale disclaimer would read:
* This number will always be too high for you
* Step on this numerous times a day
* Obsess over this scale.
Now, My Scale disclaimer would read:
* Remember, muscle weighs more than fat. Do not judge your health solely on this number!
* If you’re truly hungry, eat! (But eat slowly and listen to your body)
* You are beautiful :)
Wow. Thank you for this so-timely-to-me post. I’ve just decided to stop watching the numbers on the scale as a temporary exercise in learning to be at my own “Happy Weight”, and it is so good to read this post as it really fleshes out the ideas I’ve been bouncing around inside my own head.
I think this idea of “we don’t love ourselves until …” is so true, and so dangerous. I’ve been waiting for those 10 lbs for a long time, and I could really just be happy now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Angela, thank you.
I’m not at a happy weight :( But I am trying to get there. I’m now ditching the scale thanks to this post!!!!
Great post Angela. The scale disclaimer is a interesting idea!
I stand on a scale; it shows that I’m 3 kg “bigger”. “Don’t let yourself be upset by it… don’t let…” – repeat I like a mantra. I put my clothes on (oh they fit me fine but scales are more precise measure OF me, right?)
I pass by the window. Look sides, behind… “Nobody is watching me… the moment of truth: do I look FAT?? Oh, yes, yes, scales were right. I need to loose some. Just don’t get upset.. Just don’t feel like crying. Smile, smile will win the world, right?”
My scale disclaimer: “Beware: I can spoil your mood. And your husband’s mood too because he will be so upset to see you unhappy. I will paint world in black for you because you will never (do you hear me?) n e v e r be your happy 57 KG!”
It still makes me cry. 4 year after ditching the scales, it still brings tears to my eyes.
I think this is one of my favorite posts so far! Many people admire and look to you as inspiration and I think that it is so amazing that you were willing to share these thoughts and emotions with all of us. Thank you so much for that! And I am so glad that you were able to overcome your struggle with body image and disordered eating and thinking and become the positive inflience that you are today.
Thank you for this post, Angela. I’m still struggling with disordered eating these days, but really to beat it. Scales are terrible, and even if someone is trying to lose weight, I think taking measurements is a better way to go, but as long as it doesn’t turn into an obsession I guess they could be beneficial.
Anyways, on with the contest entry:
My ‘Scale Disclaimer’ would could read ‘You are worth more than a number’. Anything simple like that and I feel like it would make me smile, and realize that beauty is NOT measured by a number. To me, a happy weight means one that I can maintain easily, not obsess over, and just be happy and healthy with.
Thank you for being so awesome and inspiring, Angela!
Wow…I felt like I was reading words that could have been my own when you wrote “I thought my happy weight was 10 pounds less, but I was wrong, it was actually in another 5 pounds.” I felt the same way at my thinnest. I struggle with still feeling the same way now. I’m not sure I’ve found my happy weight, but I have found a more balanced, uplifting relationship with food and exercise that I know is the key to getting there! Your words resonate, and they’re very inspirational!
Your disclaimer should have this disclaimer: This will make you cry. (At your desk at work. Well, that’s what happened to me! Though I’ve been like this all week. Perhaps it’s all the Operation Beautiful posts!) I struggle every day because I’ve tried for years and never get close to my “happy weight.” I feel bad when I eat too much junk or miss a workout, and I tell myself so. Thank you for this post; it is very inspiring and meaningful. Your words are always so powerful, and you’ve definitely made an impact on so many people.
P.S. I already have Caitlin’s amazing book! It’s fantastic.
Excellent post! I too chose not to use a scale and instead ‘weigh’ myself based on how my clothes fit, how strong I feel after a workout, how I can sprint to catch the train without feeling out of breath etc. My happy weight is the weight at which I am happy with the reflection I see looking back in the mirror. It’s not a number but a commitment to making healthy choices and being my best self.
If I had a scale, I’d want it to say ” You are so much more than a number.”
Your post was really inspiring! Women have such a hard time with their weight nowadays! A happy weight is in no way related to the number the scale gives you! It is the weight that you can keep for the rest of your life, by eating healthy, listening to your body and exercising to stay in shape!
My scale disclaimer would say:
Don’t forget that fat weights less than bones and muscles.
This tool doesn’t give perfect numbers. It helps you to stay on track but is not an indicator of overall health.
thanks Angela, I LOVE your scale disclaimer!!!
I just moved into a new house and during the move of boxes and items, our scale stopped working properly. The other day, it said I was 10 pounds more than the next day. I hate that it made me *panic*. I knew the number was not right (how could it be 10 pounds different from one day to the next) and quite irrational to let that number control how I felt that day… but it did. I let it ruin my day and didn’t take responsibility to own my happiness like you say.
I plan on throwing my scale away today :) I want to be happy every day regardless of the daily fluctuations (be them real or fake).
i never got the true meaning of happy weight until I reached it. When I was thin I though “I’m skinny..I *should* be happy. That’s what every girl wants, right?” but I was miserable. Now I’m healthy, have the strength to weight train, love food and life..most of all I’m happy!! All because I’m at a better weight.
Congrats on being in the book! It’s pretty cool your mom has the very first note! :D And my sclae discalimer would say “It will not tell you how beautiful you are on the inside or out” :)
This is a beautiful and important post! Thank you Angela. I too am living proof you don’t need a scale!
Wow! You are such an encouragement! It’s so refreshing to hear that women are worth so much more than their dress size! I’ve been learning this over the past few months and am excited to see other women realizing the same thing. Two years ago I lost 60 pounds in 9 months. It was way to fast and left me with the mentality that only if I lost another pound was I worth anything. After ditching the scale like you did, and getting married to a wonderful man who loves me no matter what, did I realize how much I am worth. Keep the encouragement flowing!
Love that disclaimer! I may use it as an OB note for the scale at the gym :) If I were to write my own scale disclaimer it would include: “Warning: Numbers may appear more important than they are. Frequent use may cause undue unhappiness.”
Reading about your journey and struggles while on your journey are so inspiring to me! It helps to see that someone with such a great self esteem was not always that way. I hope that didn’t come out wrong, I just meant it gives me hope! Thank you for your inspiration, not just today, but everyday. You’re the first site I check in the morning and the last at night because no matter what you’re talking about that day, your confidence radiates through!
My disclaimer:
Body weight is not a personality trait!
I would love to win this inspirational book :)
This Book looks fantastic!!!!
My scale disclaimer would say: Underweight is not a healthy weight, happiness should not depend on a number!!
Everything you’ve written in this post is so true and speaks so much more than meets the eye. After ditching the scale and calorie counting I can agree that it has made me saner and happier. I still work to listen to hunger cues from within my body, and you’re right – it takes time and does not happen over night. I used to always think I’d be happier when I’d lose another 5-10 lbs. and I found myself in the same cycle of never being happy with it.
The scale disclaimer is by far one of the best ideas I’ve ever seen, and I truly believe something like that should be included within the box of each one sold. Fabulous post, truly inspiring and a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing! ^_^
WOW. I LOVE your scale disclaimer. I wish I’d had one in college. I went through a similar experience to you (and millions of other women) with using a scale to measure my self-love. It was actually only recently that I even realized or acknowledged that what I had experienced was, in fact, an eating disorder. Thank you so much for all the positivity you put forth each day!
This is such an inspiring post and ive gotta say, the whole operation beautiful thing is an amazing idea that i am SO glad caitlin brought it out for the greater world to recognize….
we shud be content knowing that we are all unique individual beings, but its never enough. we always strive for something more. I am in the process of recovering from a ED and ive gotta say that the positivity that flows out of this blog is a great source of comfort and help in my journey. I would love to win a copy of this book because it reminds me of all the reasons i want to be a healthy, happy person… not one driven by weight and vanity!
:-)
Thank you for such a wonderful post, Angela. I try to not weigh myself anymore, as well, because I just don’t see the value in it – who cares what the number is? A number does NOT define me, or anyone else! :) I also have stopped worrying about how many calories I burn during a workout… I’d rather do what I enjoy and feel good than worry about yet another useless number. xoxo
Scale disclaimer: This number will not land you a better acting job, nor will it give you the confidence you need to walk into an audition and wow them.
This number will not help you be open and honest on stage, it will only distract you from what you are up there to do.
This number is/was never relevant to those who love you or those who left you.
This number does not account for those lovely calf muscles that have been building all summer from running your heart out.
This number is not you.
Happy weight for me is the weight where I can feel healthy without spending every moment of the day thinking about calories in/calories out. Once upon a time I never thought about my size- I would like to get back to that weight- the weight I maintained with ease for three years before I started eating my feelings.
A happy weight to me would be where I feel comfortable with myself and my appearance. I know I still have some work to do with accepting myself for who I am- but you are helping me along the way!
Great post! You made me tear up at work…good thing I’m alone in here.
I love your disclaimer and it’s one I should use myself. It’s hard to break the cycle you describe above, but it’s achieveable with the right support system. You are an inspiration Angela!
Love, love, lovedddd this Angela :)
It’s sad to me that women are *still* in this mentality that lower weight = better self-worth. I feel like we’re suffering from a national eating disorder: people are becoming more obese and more & more people are becoming obsessed with being thin. It’s almost unheard of for a woman to be confident & completely satisfied with themselves at their happy weight! So I’m really excited for this virtual book tour :) Oh, and I want to win a copy!
My scale and I have had a rocky relationship – and in the middle of it all, my darling hubby actually hid it from me so I couldn’t find it! He was so tired of my mood being affected based on what I saw on the scale when I woke up in the morning. A few years into our marriage, we knew that we might want to start having a family, and secretly in the back of my mind I was SO scared about what pregnancy would do to my body – how would it affect me, how much weight would I gain during, and how would I look post-pregnancy. And then it happened – that little plus sign, and it occurred to me that this new stage of my life was not going to be all about ME. And through my pregnancy and since having my daughter, I have become much less concerned about ME and more focused on what really matters – my little family and being healthy. While pregnant I had to focus on eating right for the both of us, and toning down my exercise routine (previously I had a goal of burning at least 1000 calories a day through exercise, which in turn would make me really hungry, so I would eat more, then want to exercise more, and the cycle would go on).
I am happy to say that I am more at peace with my body and myself than I ever have been. I am happy about this for multiple reasons, including the fact that I want better for my daughter, and I want her to learn to LOVE herself (and not take 29 years to get to that point!). I want to focus on feeling healthy and happy, and not become fixated on clothing size or what the scale says. I want to remember also what Mama Pea said (peasandthankyou.com), as I think she put it perfectly when she made a post-it note that stated that her girls think she is beautiful, and so should she. If I don’t love myself, how can I expect Taylor to learn to lover herself.
My scale disclaimer would say – this scale shows nothing more than a number, do not give this number more attention than it is worth. Focus on the number of friends and family members you have, the number of happy memories you remember, and the number of things you can say about yourself that you love.
I am at my happy weight – and that happens to be a number that is less than I weighed before I ever got pregnant. But ironically enough, this weight comes naturally without struggle, without tears, and without worry. It is not from counting every little calorie or exercising hours every day. This weight comes from just living and loving being a wife and mommy each day.
My scale disclaimer would read: “This device will not tell you how sexy others think you are!”
It’s painful to read this not from my own experience, but from that of my ex-boyfriend, who had what is now called orthorexia- he was obsessed with “eating clean.” Missing a day in the gym was NOT an option, nor was breaking his diet if it was not a “cheat meal.” When we first got together, we could have a bottle of wine together or have some chocolate while watching a movie. As it got worse, though, even one glass of red wine became a HUGE indulgence. I strongly encouraged him to get help because it was so difficult for me to see him filled with self-hatred. He went to a therapist for a little while, but ultimately he ended up breaking up with me and moving out of our apartment so that he could work on his problems on his own. Not surprisingly (because HE doesn’t really want to deal with it), his problems have only gotten worse since we broke up (a year and a half ago) and from what I hear, his obsession is worse than ever. It really breaks my heart- not just because it drove us apart and I was madly in love with him, but because it is so painful to see someone hate themselves over something so trivial as their appearance.
Unfortunately, after living with him, I began to pick up on his habits and now struggle with being really hard on myself if I don’t eat “perfectly.” I guess the moral of my story: be aware that not only is disordered eating and obsession with one’s weight/appearance destructive to yourself, but it’s also incredibly hard on those who love you.
To end this on a lighter note, Angela, I love your blog and look forward to every post. It’s such a beacon of positivity amidst contrary messages and really does help me when I’m feeling down or hard on myself. Thank you!
Angela, thanks for this post. It really resonated with me as I’ve also struggled with disordered eating. Slowly getting better, though and learning that life WILL pass me by and I will be no happier having focused on an arbitrary number. This is an inspiration.
Maria
Thank you for such a wonderful post! I have been keeping up with Caitlin’s VBT, and this has been the best and most rewarding post (to me) so far! For years, I have struggled daily with the number on the scale and obsessive calorie counting. Just recently, I decided it wasn’t worth the pain and tears and head games anymore. Although I still weight myself daily and count calories (I tend to binge if I don’t… I need that constant reminder that I do these things to stay healthy), it is not obsessive and I have come to realized that fluctuations in weight happen. I have stayed the same size for years, even with days of bad eating and bingeing. I have become to love my body for it’s size and strength. I am a competitve runner, even though I am not built like Kara Goucher, but I know that my musculature (even with the “extra” weight) makes me the strong and fast runner that I am.
Again, thank you for the wonderful post! You just gained yourself another loyal reader!
I loved this post!!! Angela, reading your blog for the past year has helped me change some of my disordered eating habits. While I do still count calories and weigh myself occasionally, both to better gauge my maintenance, I have also transitioned to eating mostly vegetarian and whole foods. I have also started running and racing more, while still trying to love my body and do good to it. My binges have definitely decreased dramatically now that I am not in a restrictive diet mindset. I am at my “happy weight” now, despite the fact that I have been at this weight (approximately) for 3 years now (maintenance from weight loss from college pounds). I am at my “happy weight” because I don’t beat myself up every time I get a little too full or eat more than a certain amount of calories. I am at my “happy weight” because I don’t feel guilty when I eat dessert. I am at my “happy weight” because I choose to be happy with myself and my body every single day!
Over the years, my weight has fluctuated all over the place, but now I have maintained my healthy weight range for over 3 years. I try to use the scale to my advantage. Weighing myself keeps me in check and let’s me know if I am going too far in one direction. I use the scale to see trends over time or to see what types of foods affect my water retention. The scale would say, “I am just a guide, one of many, to help you stay fit, healthy and strong.” You could say the same thing about a pair of pants or a measuring tape. Anything you use as a measurement tool can make you feel badly about yourself if you let it.
Thank you for such a beautiful post – this is why I love Oh She Glows so much :) And I also got tears in my eyes when I read your scales disclaimer!
Your post brought tears to my eyes–i’m serious! So, so beautiful.
This time last year I was starting to become obsessed–with how I looked, what I ate, EVERY ingredient that went into my food. Seeing oil go into my food made me upset, calorie counts consumed me and I constantly found myself making excuses for indulging–EXCUSES for enjoying food and good company. “I’ll just eat less at my next meal” “i’ll exercise longer”. I dropped to a very low weight. THEN…I found blogs, and everything went up hill. I still have negative thoughts often, but I do NOT let them control me or my decisions anymore. I accept that I have a large appetite but I can prepare healthy, delicious foods that satisfy me and make me feel wonderful. (Unlike when I eat potato chips now and the grease literally makes me feel physically ill..i’m just not used to it!) .
My scale disclaimer would say; “A number means nothing. How do you FEEL?”
This is a fantastic post! I was at my happy weight once for about a month, after a year of calorie obsession. I remember how great it was to be that weight, but I can’t seem to get back there again now that I’m on the intuitive eating + exercise plan. Funny thing is, even though I’m MUCH heavier now I’m still healthy and energetic as long as I get enough sleep and exercise daily! My scale disclaimer would be “This number doesn’t define you and it’s not worth crying over!”
I just want to say THANK YOU for this post and all of your posts. Thank you for opening your heart to us and sharing your personal experiences. I love you Angela–you are the BEST!
While reading this, I realized that I have not used the phrase “I can’t wait until I get down to (insert weight here)” in months. I also realized that I haven’t binged in months, counted calories in months (well, not the entire day’s worth, I’m still working on it!), or been obsessed with the caloric burns in my workouts in months. And I still weigh the exact same as I did seven months ago. I truly believe that I have found my happy weight. My eating disorder will take a long time to get rid of, but I feel confident and beautiful around 80 percent of the time, which is a HUGE spike from where it was a few years ago. Thank you for all that you do!!!
Wonderful post, Angela – thank you for sharing. I find myself putting off life until I reach that “happy place” or my “happy weight” and I know that drags me down. Ultimately what I seek is balance – being able to feel productive at work but still have a life, to enjoy eating well but not feel deprived, to spend time with loved ones but still have my house in order . . . I come from a long line of food rewarders where a bad day deserves a pizza, or a good deed should have an ice cream – and then deal with the guilt and the not-feeling-so-rewarded-after-all feelings.
Thank you for your blog and updates. I just started to follow you on Twitter and catching your posts on my phone have been little daily reminders to strive for better decisions, better nutritional balance, to GO for that run even if my goal is to the end of the driveway (an achievable goal I can BREAK most days) and just to think positive. Thanks!!
Thank you for your post today and thank you for OSG! I love reading your blog every day.
To me, a happy weight means eating when hungry and eating until satisfaction. It means not being a slave to the scale — and not caring what the scale says. It means knowing on the inside that you are healthy and happy and that you feel good. It is accepting the fact that your body may not look like a supermodel’s (because they are all airbrushed anyway!) — and its ok. You are a real human being and you are beautiful.
I completely agree that there is no shame in seeing a professional. I love my counselor and she has helped me get my confidence back and my self image is very much improved over the past few months.
My scale disclaimer would say “no matter what the number is, you are beautiful, you are healthy, you are happy and you are loved”. In the past I have felt that until I lose a certain number of pounds, no one would love me or that I wasn’t worthy of being loved. I do deserve to be loved and to be happy!
This is a beautiful post. It really resonated with me, and I have a feeling (from all of the comments) that most of us feel the same way. I too have a history with disordered eating–We had a lot of negative thoughts in common. It’s so sad that so many women our age are suffering or have suffered from such mental turmoil surrounding food.
One of the reasons I’m becoming a health counselor is so that I can help young women develop healthy relationships with food and more self confidence around their weight. I can identify with the guilt associated with disordered eating, and how that guilt affects EVERY aspect of one’s life.
After being enrolled in my health counselor training course, I feel like I’m finally on the road to being happy with myself as I am– in the present. I’m not quite there yet, but these things take time.
Angela… um… I just love you. A lot. Your blog is so near and dear to my heart. Whenever you write a post (especially ones like this), you bring me peace, inspiration, self-love, hope, and so so much more. I am so grateful for “Oh She Glows.”
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Those two little words will never be enough, but they’re all I’ve got!
Love,
Desi
I started to tear up when reading your ‘disclaimer’ on the scale..I was like, WHY am I tearing up?? Your comment about making a stranger melt with a smile, that really struck me. I think so often us women get wrapped in our emotions and negative feelings, always feeling like we have SO much to do, and have to get done right NOW, and then we have to do this and that and it never ends. We are so hard on ourselves, never thinking were good enough at things or skinny enough. We have to remember how much we mean to other people, we can even affect a stranger’s life. You write the most inspiring words, Angela, thank you. xo
I have never visited your blog but decided to after reading Caitlin’s Operation Beautiful post for today. Wow! I am totally inspired by your post!! It was beautiful. After suffering from disordered eating myself, I can definitely relate to a lot of things you have said. It’s so important to remember that the number on the scale does not define the person you are or want to become. Thanks for the post!
Thank you so much for writing this post. I struggle with many of the things/thoughts you used to struggle with. I hope to be able to get to the place that you are currently. I dont know yet what my disclaimer would say. When I actually think about the way I treat myself I feel angry. I am going to work on letting go of the self expectations and work more on just being happy being me.
Your posts continue to touch my life, along with others I am sure! My scale disclaimer would say, Don’t look at me for happiness, look in the mirror until you see what every one else sees. Now, if I can just get myself to tell myself this every day and believe it. That’s the really though part…small.baby.steps….
Have a great day and Happy Friday! Thanks again for your inspiration :)
Wow, I loved this post. I have been reading your blog for awhile now and enjoy reading about all your transitions with a healthy lifestyle. It is very inspiring to say the least. A happy weight to me is when you don’t think negatively about what your eating. When your not feeling badly about your cravings and go through the day with a high sense of energy and well-being. When it isn’t constantly crossing your mind that’s where you want to be ;)
Thanks for the inspiration.
Wow — great post! I too have had to recently ditch calorie counting and daily weighing because it was making me neurotic. Sure, the scale was inching lower and lower, but at what cost? I was working out close to two hours a day, bailing on plans with friends and family, skipping all desserts and eating — for what, to weight a measly two pounds lighter??? So not worth it!!!
My scale disclaimer would have to say something like: “This number only tells you how much you weigh — not how strong you are, how healthy you are, and how awesome you are!” heehee
A happy weight to me is being strong, healthy and most importantly happy! Doesnt matter what the number says, as long as you feel good, in good shape/health, then live your life day to day, like it were your last. You never know when your day is up, so Live, Love & Laugh every day!
Thank you. Thank you for writing this post. You hit so many points that resonated with me and I felt a sense of relief that I am not alone.
Beautiful.
Thank you so much Angela for posting this and for all the wonderful, motivational, and really touching things you’ve written on this website. I’ve just recently started becoming a huge fan of your blog, recipes, etc. and have truly been motivated by your lifestyle and positive outlook on life :) I’ve struggled with an eating disorder since I was thirteen and its an ongoing battle. Although I’ve recovered and am much more healthier than I used to be, I still struggle every time I stand on a scale at the doctors or decided to do a check in every couple months. In the process of my recovery I decided to do the most difficult thing I’ve had to do for myself( I know it’s kind of sad that not weighing myself was so difficult for me) which was to not compulsively weight myself after each meal I ate. I decided that I couldn’t keep living and dictating my life by a silly number which would affect my mood, the way I treated my family and loved ones, and ultimately my self esteem. I’ve realized though that the number no matter how low or high it was never seemed just right or enough for me.
My scale disclaimer:
To the new owner of this silly number thing,
1. The number which appears on this scale cannot define the beautiful, compassionate, kind person that we all know you are.
2. The number which appears on this scale cannot show all the strength and courage your mind and heart have had during the struggles and challenges you’ve faced in life.
3. The number which appears on this scale isn’t a representation or indicator about how miles you’ve ran or the training you’ve given your body for the half-marathon you’ve been training for.
4. And lastly, the number which appears on this scale is simply just a three digit combination. Although it may show that you’ve lost or gained some weight, it will never be able to show the changes you’ve made as a person. It will never show the growth in knowledge or love that you have over your lifetime and won’t ever show the strength of your determination and courage.
My happy weight is the weight that simply makes me healthy, grateful, and never makes me feel guilty about whatever I put in my mouth. My happy weight keeps me from being injury prone and helps my body recover after long runs and spin classes. Although I may not be as skinny or muscular as my fitness teachers, runners, or other woman I see, I am starting to love and appreciate all I’ve put my body through and try my best to start loving and taking care of it right for life.
My scale disclaimer would say “No matter what this number is, you are perfect just the way you are! {and if someone else doesn’t think so, they aren’t perfect for YOU}”
I was overweight through high school and then once I entered college I gained 40+ pounds in the first two years. I was not binge drinking on weekends, I was simply making poor food choices and choosing movies and naps over the gym. I did not realize what I was doing to my body. Going back to high school I struggled with living in a small town with girls that were all much smaller and in better shape then I. I ate minimal calories and went to the gym continuously without any success. It was deflating to always be bigger and nothing I did seemed to help. I started binging and purging at this time. It only lasted a few months before I realized the damage I was doing to my body. I have since graduated college and currently have lost 26 pounds. I have 20-30 more pounds to lose before I enter into a healthy BMI weight-range and I will get there slowly at my own pace. I am doing this, and making this change for myself and for no one else. I want to be healthy and live a long and fruitful life with children (in the near future hopefully…). I am doing this my way, and for once I feel that I am beautiful and worthy of the life I have.
You inspire me. Thank you for that. I have been a vegetarian for about a year now and I love al the recipe ideas that you post. Thanks!
What an amazing post, after years of struggling with eating disorders I finally came to the realization that it was not worth all this and my happy weight is where I felt great and no one could tell me different!
I felt like I was reading my own story. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing and writing from your heart.
I don’t know if my relationship with the scale and my weight right now is some sort of neurosis or is something rational. I’ve been on Weight Watchers since October and I’ve successfully lost 40 lbs. My goal is 138.8 (the weight I was when I came to college, four years ago this month) but I’ve been fidgeting around 139-143 for the past few months (I even got down to 139.2 before binging big time on cobbler, Dr Pepper, and ice cream. Not because I was hungry, but because it was there. Seriously?!?!). A big part of it is that I’m tired of eating so little, so I’ve not been as strict, and I’ve binged on average of once every week, which negates all the good I did in previous days. I am happy with myself and happy with my body. I’ve worked hard to get this far and I’ve definitely made huge strides in my health and my eating and exercise habits. I’ve encouraged my parents (both overweight/obsese) to make changes and I’m definitely not wanting to revert back to old ways (junk food and no satiety? hardly any vegetables or fruit!? What was I thinking?!), but it’s something in my nature that’s telling me if I don’t get to goal that I’ve not finished the job, or I’m giving up before I have a chance to reach the finish line. It’s a small thing, probably a neurotic thing, and it’s what’s keeping me from cancelling my account with Weight Watchers month after month, even though I only use it because I like to see my weight loss success charted on there from beginning to end, and I want to see what it’s like to have it reach goal. And as a side note, I step on the scale just about every day, as it helps me ‘disconnect’ with the number. If I ignore or avoid it, I start to fear it instead of deal with it.
But again, I am happy with myself. I’m happy to see that even though 40 lbs ago, every picture of me was a “bad picture”, just about every picture of me now is a “good picture.” I like being able to shop for normal clothes or share clothes with friends, my sisters, my cousin, or my aunt! Even though my tummy jiggles and I have a layer of “insulation” padding all my muscles, I’ve realized, who doesn’t?! I don’t feel “chubby” anymore. I feel normal! Healthy! Average! But in my own way. For the first time in my life, I’m not in “risky” zones for my BMI and hip-to-waist ratio. And I think college really helped me realize that being a size 2 or 4 or 110 lbs really isn’t all that normal anymore.
Definitely something for me to process. Maybe I’ll write my own post about this.
I’ve been doing WW since April ’09. I could have written what you just wrote! I’m about 1-2 lbs away from goal (I recently adjusted my goal UP 5 lbs from 135 to 140) and really struggling. I’ve been thinking about just entering maintenance but then there is this voice that makes me feel like I’m giving up *especially* since I ‘allowed’ myself to adjust my goal UP 5 lbs. Basically, I feel exactly the same way you do; if I don’t lose the last 2 lbs it’s as if I’m not really crossing the finish line and admitting defeat.
But when I’m using my logical brain, I realize that even IF I lose the 2 lbs, I’m going to look EXACTLY the same. So what’s the use in driving myself batty? It’s a battle in my mind.
Things like OSG and Operation Beautiful help me pull out my logical side and make me want to enter maintenance and stop the madness over 2 lbs.
Haha! Good to know I’m not alone. :)
Actually, I’ve made 138.8 (loose size 8) my “redline” number, the number that, should I see, I need to make conscious efforts to get back under (I have such an organized mind. It’s total chaos, but there’s a method to my madness). For months I’ve been telling myself that I wanted to maintain between 130-135 (size 6-which I’ve never ever been, btw), but then my husband goes and tells me that I’d probably be too skinny at 130, which really surprised me to hear from him. For me, I actually would look different two lbs smaller. Not majorly, but I’ve been able to see where just about all my weight has left me week after week. But I’m beginning to wonder if that’s really worth stressing out over either. I told myself that reaching a single-digit size was goal, and if I could reasonably manage a 6, I would. But now I think that might be too much number-obsession, and maybe I should just eat healthy, work out in moderation, include weights and what not, and if my body composition shifts in one way or another, so be it. After all, I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself for gaining water weight right before “weigh in.”
Great post! My scale disclaimer is that the weight I maintain, feel good at, and look my best at is actually a different number than when I was younger. It’s about 5 lbs. heavier than when I was in college and when I get down to my college weight, I look really bony! As you age (I’m 29), or at least as I’ve aged, I’ve really lost a lot the fat in my face and chest and hands- so I have to maintain at a higher weight not to look skeletal. And fortunately, that seems to be the weight my body wants to be. When I overdo it and think I’ve gained a few pounds (or if I catch a cold or something and lose a few pounds), it is so important for me to take a step back and breath and remind myself that my body wants to be at my happy weight and if I just get back to my healthy, moderate habits, it will go back to it’s set point. When I trust my body I don’t feel bad about it b/c those emotions contradict each other.
I wish I felt this way. However, I feel so uncomfortable at a higher weight. I looove being a bit thinner. I’m 5’11” and around 170. I loved being 150 or 145. I just felt so good in my own skin.
This post spoke to me on so many levels.
But the most worrying thing is that my first thought after finishing reading this was “I’m going to throw my scale away too… just as soon as I reach my goal weight”
I think I just worked out that I may need some more help.
Thank you. I adore you. You keep me going. Thank You.
GREAT POST! I can’t wait to hold on to a copy of Operation Beautiful and give it to my now 5-month-old niece (in many years!) and tell her that she is beyond beautiful and amazing in every single way.
My disclaimer would be that scales can’t measure worth, heart, soul, value, or love.
Great post!
I would probably tell my scale to stop being so judgemental and to take it easy after a weekend of too much excess :)
But as long as I feel good and like the way I look, I shouldn’t be so worried about the exact number of pounds that I weigh.
Thanks so much for this post…I am still struggling to find my happy weight, but I’m slowly getting there :)
thank you so much for the post, I love reading all the replies as one of many girls in my family we have always had a scale in our house especially since my mum had an ED. I asked her to throw out the scale once since 3 of us in the house were battling at that point and I hated weighing myself multiple times a day. I thought she did but then I found it under her bed and so would find random reasons to go into her room throughout the day to weigh myself.
I think I am at my happy weight its hard to tell as I am breast feeding so who knows.
My disclaimer would say
“This is just a number, your body is incredible you bring happiness to so many around you and you have given birth to a beautiful boy. You have a wonderful marriage and a husband who loves you no matter what. God has given you so many talents which you can do at any number, do not base your worth on what I will tell you but on what God has said about you in the bible. You are loved and cherished by many, now get off and go live life”
This was a wonderful post. I really needed to read something like this this morning. I describe my happy weight as when I feel comfortable in any position and can easily move my body (whether up stairs, yoga positions, or running). I am not there yet, but I do have memories of what it felt like.
Hi Angela,
I’m reading your posts fo rso long but i’ve never had the courage to write any comment…
these post about happy wheight hit me so hard and made me realise that i’m unique and i have to aproach my eating habbits and wheight in a unique way.
Like you since i was little i have problems with binge eating and now is getting harder and harder,i gues i’m lucky as my wheight at the moment is acceptable but i’m not happy at all…i feel sad all the time cause i dont now how to stop..one moment i feel like i’m the strongest person in the world next second i fell desgusted ….
sorry for my english and i want to send you a big hug for making me realise that is my problem ,my aproch and not the past…
Thank you
Such a powerful post I am crying. The term Happy weight used to be such an oxymoron to me. I was never happy with what I weighed. It wasn’t until I was happy with me that I could be happy with the weight my body was comfortable at. I set my own happy weight instead of going by the traditional weight watchers guidelines and look in the mirror at my own operation beautiful note before stepping on the scale.
Points and the scale are now my tools instead of my nemesis. My OB note on my mirror that I look at each day says “The number doesn’t matter.” It reminds me that I’m still me even if that number changes by the minute.
BTW I’m going to make lots of copies of you scale note and put them in scale boxes when I go to TARGET tomorrow. Such a great way to spread the love yourself Operation Beautiful message.
I cannot thank you enough for this post. It was exactly what I needed, at the exact time I needed it, and it literally brought tears to my eyes.
Please continue to inspire women in the way that you do. You may never know exactly how you have affected their lives, but I can assure you that it is significant and profound. Keep up the good work.
angela, i am totally crying. right here in the middle of work, and don’t even care. i feel like our journeys have always been so similar (minus the vegan part :)). i remember not more than a year ago thinking that my happiness and my self-worth could be found on a scale. that little 3-digit number freaked me the heck out, and if it grew even a little bit it meant i was a failure. unlovable. ugly. worthless.
thankfully now i am past that, and where there are times that self-doubt will creep in, i now have the tools to fight it! and i now know that i am BEAUTIFUL just the way i am :)
My note would say, “You are more than a number. Three digits does not define the beautiful, strong, incredibly smart, kind, and loving woman you are!”
Yes! This post makes me want to shout from the rooftops and do a little gig. Every single word you said (in such a beautiful way) is so true to me. The scale (and the calorie counting) was once my obsession and it took over my life. And you know why during that time I couldn’t find my “happy weight?” Because my “happy weight” was not healthy for my body type! Nope. My body knew what was best and was fighting against me – it did not want me to dip to 100 pounds, even though in my mind, I wanted to. Thank you so much for this post – I hope it reaches out to others who can finally admit to themselves that they are beautiful just they way they are.
Your happiness scale has nothing to do with numbers on a scale! Stay off and stay well!
I haven’t been on a scale in a very long time (except at the dr office) as I have been on the roller coaster of disordered eating since I was 14 (I’m now 42). I still have ups and downs but have a much better understanding of the “why” behind my issues and am up much more than down.
This is a wonderful post, thank you so much!
My scale disclaimer would read: “Your worth is higher than a scale counts!”
Wow. So powerful. And exactly what I needed to hear this morning. This morning I am tossing my scale into the dumpster outside my house.
This is my best scale story. For this past Lent, I was trying to decide what would be the hardest thing for me to give up. I knew what it was immediately of course…weighing myself. So for 40+ days I have up the scale and the control and the power seemingly to God. And once I started weighing myself again I had come close to my goal weight! Oh, but I was not satisfied by that victory nor did I seem to learn anything about the benefits of not weighing yourself. Went back to all the counting and obsessive weighing to lose those stubborn last five pounds and back to a cycle of depriving and bingeing. And I have gained it all back.
So the scale is going to the dumpster this morning. Because no matter if I lose or gain weight, that little contraption does not dictate my entire life.
My scale disclaimer would read: For a more descriptive and practical evaluation of health, look inward.
My happy weight? I might not be at my real happy weight now. But I am choosing to be happy at this weight as long as this is where my body and I are:)
Thank you. This week has been incredibly emotional for me and every Operation Beautiful post I have read has really hit home, has made me think about happiness- and ultimately, my unhappiness- when it comes to weight and body image. I have forever struggled with my weight, lost 30lbs, have gained some back, am suffering from a running injury which has left me incredibly frustrated, and feel like I will never get back “there” to the weight I once was that I felt GOOD at. I know that I am worth more than what the scale says- it’s just believing that is what is difficult.
Thank you for writing this. (It may have made me cry. At work.)
Fab post, I loveee your scale disclaimer! You and Caitlin have such fabulous attuides.
“True health is not a number!!!” Happy weight is feelin great, full of energy, and being able to do the physical things i love to do!
This is a great post! I love your points.
My disclaimer would read:
NO MATTER WHAT THIS NUMBER SAYS, IT’S STILL 200 POUNDS LESS THAN WHAT YOU USED TO WEIGH!!! ENJOY BEING HEALTHY AND FORGET THE NUMBERS!
Thank you so much for this beautiful post Angela. My disclaimer would read: “Warning: this device does not measure your worth. It does not measure how much you love yourself, how much God loves you, or how much others love you. Rather than using this scale to search for a reason to hate or love yourself, love yourself as God loves you, unconditionally. You are beautiful and perfect as you are and everyone who loves you knows that. “
beautiful post once again Angela!
i have to be honest when i say that i don’t struggle with eating with proper fuel everyday, but i do struggle to stay away from the scale. but i’m not giving up! I have actually gotten a lot better and at ease!
i know i am worth more than a number! (and someday……hopefully soon, i will believe it!)
thankyou so much!
I was just thinking about “happy weight” when I was riding my bike the other day. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot. I do know how much I weigh and people are usually surprised that I weigh more than I might look. I think it’s because I carry more of my weight in my rear + thighs. My upper body is much more slender, and always has been. I always used to want to be at the weight 120 because that is what 5’3-5’4 girls all weighed [or that’s what I thought]. However, that would mean I would have to lose somewhere around 10 lbs and that would NOT be healthy for me. There is no way I would be able to maintain that weight, look healthy, or feel healthy. I’m definitely at my healthy weight now +/- 3lbs. Similar to you, I indulge sometimes, and pass at other times. I exercise as much or little as I want and feel STRONG! Finding your healthy weight is SO important. Thank you for addressing it!! <3
What a beautiful post. This is my first time at this site. It will not be my last. Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful words. I will have my 15 year old daughter read these words. I am a large woman. It has taken me 46 years to decide it does not matter what the scale reads. I exercise, teach aqua classes and have a positive attitude that I try to pass on to others. While I still have my ups and downs on occasion, I feel good about myself and know that my happy weight is where I happen to be at any given moment.
I hope to win the Operation Beautiful book for Emma. I am also purchasing this book for her friends.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am currently on my own journey to find my happy weight, my happy place, and to make myself into the best version of myself, the best, happiest person I am meant to be. I found Oh She Glows through Healthy Tipping Point and Operation Beautiful and I’m so thankful that I stumbled upon you and Caitlin. You two are phenomenal women and such inspirations for the rest of us. Thank you!
A great post!You made my day.I feel so powerful and educated and reassured by so many of your posts,this one tops it off.Your scale disclaimer was the best.
Mine would read ‘No matter what this number says,I know I am on the right path to regaining health,peace and happiness for my family and me.I matter the most to them and their health matters the most to me.We have acheived what we wanted to in the past 6 months or so,so this number does not define me in any way!’
Amazing, you have articulated the feelings inside of so many of us. You have reached a point that I strive to be at one day. I want to print this out and hang it in my room as a constant reminder that it is possible to reach a happiness, in everything you do and everything you are.
Numbers can’t define you, but a smile can.
my scale disclaimer would say: this scale can’t weigh happiness, self-love, or self-confidence, and it doesn’t dictate how much your friends and family love you. I struggled with my weight my whole life, until my mid teens when I got in amazing shape and found a healthy weight. But because I didn’t look like the women in fitness magazines (who really don’t usually look very strong or fit), it was never good enough. I kept losing more and more weight until I was so thin I couldn’t do anything more than a 30 min workout. I’m on the other end of it now, but I still struggle with guilt and anxiety about eating and working out. So for me, a happy weight couldn’t be measured on the scale, but in how strong and happy I feel.
Angela- what a beautiful post! You almost made me cry. It has been a long hard journey for me to come to love and accept myself, but I am finally at a happy place. If I had to put a disclaimer on a scale, it would say, “The number on this screen is not nearly as important as the number of friends you have, the number of smiles you’ve given away, or the number of hugs you’ve received.”
Such an amazing post. I feel like I could’ve written (maybe not as eloquently) as you many of those exact same words. It’s amazing being in this community and realizing that MANY women go through the same things as you.
I recently wrote a post about those last 5-10 lbs. A question was posed–if you were stranded on a desert island and would never be seeing anyone again, would you want to lose weight?
My answer was no. I realized that I AM happy with myself as is, but once I start comparing myself to other women–be it friends, celebrities, whatever is when I find myself needing to be MORE and therefore the “need” to lose weight.
It was amazing figuring out what was behind my wanting to lose weight, because I absolutely do not need to.
So, my disclaimer would say…
You are you and the number on this scale does not make you any better or less of a person. What makes you a beautiful person is your heart, your mind, and your kindness towards others.
My happy weight is where I feel lean and strong and sleek. Interesting post today, and I am going to enjoy the book, too. Thanks!
Your breakfast looks A-MAH-ZING!
I also love the Post-Its. I’ve been struggling with an ED since I was 13 (almost 6 years to the day) and the scale is just one thing that I cannot give up. Maybe one day I’ll get there.
Thank you for this post, Angela. It made me tear up reading it. I remember reading once that you wanted to help people in some way after you left your desk job, and you have certainly accomplished that.
Alison
Angela, that is a beautiful post that left me in tears. I have strugged with an eating disorder since I was 16 and am doing my best to overcome it and start living my life. Your post was exactly everything that I struggle with. Seeing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel by someone who experienced the same thing gives me a hope that I can make a change. God bless you.
To me, my happy weight is when I am running, but also eating dessert, multiple times a week. At this weight I don’t feel the need to over or under eat, and I have the energy to pound out a 6k.
Amazing post. Thank you for being so honest and wording it all so gracefully.
This is such a great post. I wrote a post on happy weight recently, but your says everything I wanted to say, but couldn’t. Maybe it’s because I still get caught up in the cycle. It is a hard one to break. My disclaimer would say: The number on the scale will not change the person you are. Someone who is kind, loving, strong and beautiful. Most importantly, someone who is deserving of love and happiness. A number will never change that. You are beautiful inside and out.
love the scale disclaimer. what a great idea!
Love this! My scale would come with a disclaimer that read: This number does not define you. It shouldn’t make your day better or worse. It is one aspect in a million different component things that make you who you are. It was also tell me to let it go when the number went up.
As someone who is still struggling to loose those last 10 pounds, I don’t know what my happy weight is. I do know that i’ve been happier in general focusing on health and running rather then obsessing about weight and food. I find my life more pleasant if i’m stretching to run those last 10 miles rather then shed those last 10 pounds. They’ll come eventually and maybe I can come back and talk about my healthy weight. :)
A-MEN!! Love your post!
This post really hit home for me. I have yet to figure out my happy weight, and it is something I have struggled with since I was 12 years old. When I do reach goals, I decide that they aren’t enough and I continue to struggle with this concept until finally I gain everything back and then some. Slowly I am trying to find new ways to accept myself and believe in the fact that people do love me regardless of my dress size or a number on the scale. And while I understand those things, it is still hard for me to feel that way about myself. One day I will find a way to achieve the body I want without beating myself up in the process, but I hope that my overall happiness in life will be independent of the weight that I lose.
I love the post its! It reminds me of this one time when I was having a bad day, I found a post-it around campus that said “You are beautiful and loved.” Just the one positive thought really cheered me up.
And the scale disclaimer made me smile. Thank you for that. : )
Great post!
What would your ‘Scale Disclaimer’ read? What does a happy weight mean to YOU?
Good morning Angela!
Such an inspirational & tearful post that many men & women can relate to. My scale disclaimer would read “WARNING: Use of scale may cause obsessive and repulsive thoughts and behaviors of self-worth!” because surely, the scale has had me on a cycle for years, and I PANICKED when it broke. But, instead of going out and purchasing a new one, I left the broken one in its place reminding me that I don’t need it because it does not make me happy. Happy weight means being able to live comfortably in your own skin and knowing what your body is capable of doing because your body is strong, unique and beautiful.
Thank You for this post!…and I’m enjoying GM every morning :)
I loved this post mainly because I am trying to listen to my body more than I used to. I discovered that I am unhappy and feel bad about my body when I am treating it wrong and not giving it what it needs (exercise, healthy food)… yet when I listen to it, my self-esteem magically lifts! Great advice for so many women.
Very inspirational, Angela! As someone who is still in a power struggle between bingeing/starving and trusting my own body, I just had to tell you that you are such a great role model…and that this post made me well up! I’m about to pass this post on to about 1,000 of my friends…it is something that every woman who has ever struggled should read. Thanks again!
Wonderful post as usual, Angela!
After having a friend stay with me for a week I to skip several workouts and indulged in restaurant food much more than usual. I wasn’t really able to count calories and felt completely out of control. She is my best friend and lives 2200 miles away, yet I was stressed and cranky most of her visit because I couldn’t stop thinking about my weight.. It made me realize that this has become an unhealthy obsession with being healthy! I AM at a healthy weight, and yet just because this number is not QUITE as low as I want it to be, I was not allowing myself to be happy.
My disclaimer would read:
“This number is a measure of gravitational force, and says nothing about your femininity, or beauty, let alone what an amazing person you are.”
I loved this post. Many wise words. I have been trying to listen to my body more than I used to. It is difficult! Yet when I choose to listen, I always feel better with my body and myself.
Wow, awesome post! I’d enter the draw, but I think what you wrote on your scale disclaimer couldn’t be worded better! Actually, the way you describe “happy weight” is pretty spot on too! You deliver a powerful message, Miss Glow!
Thank you so much for this. I am currently in the midst of that fight. I am recovering from quite severe anorexia, and am finding it very difficult to know when I am hungry or when I have had enough to eat. Sometimes this is hard for me, because I fear that before I can really read the signals of my body I will gain an unnecessarily large amount of weight. But when these thoughts enter my head, I try to remember what my nutritionist has said: “You cannot live your life in constant fear, that is no way to live. As long as you cannot relax in your eating, as long as you keep restricting, your weight will go up. So relax, let go, listen to your body.”
I would like to enter the competition. I think that your scale disclaimer is perfect, but what would have helped me is: “The number that you are trying to reach on this scale will not bring you happiness. Reaching your goal weight will not magically transform your life for the better, or help you achieve what you want out of life. Happiness comes first, and only afterwards will your body settle to the size it is supposed to be.”
Congratulations on your progress Angela~ Very well-written post!
My happy weight is any weight my body needs to be! I am happy to be alive :)
What a wonderful post. I am still in the big fat middle of self worth only coming after being X weight or X size. I’m seeking out professional help and am beginning therapy in the next few weeks. I’m just SICK to death of feeling this way.
Great post Ange!! I love your scale disclaimer! Happy weight to me ultimately means a weight where I feel my best and where I am healthy. I used to count calories too, and I agree 100% that it can become an obsession. Giving it up was so liberating and without doing so, I would be eating the same foods over and over again. Can you say boring!?!??
Amazing story – I love this post!
My happy weight is when I feel great, am great as a mother, my clothes fit, I have energy to power thru each day with 2 kids under the age of 4 and just have a general overall sense of happiness. The scale has no measure of anything that is important to me. Its just a number and that number means nothing in comparison to all the other things in my life that I have to be thankful for.
Awesome….love the disclaimers!!
Mine would read:
140.6. Thats how many miles this body got you through (in my recent ironman). Does any other number really matter???
This post spoke to me so much, Angela.
Word for word, it was describing me. It makes my heart hurt to remember all the crap I put myself through just to attain something that didn’t matter, and that wasn’t making me really happy in the first place.
The scale tells you how much you weigh. And how much is that? You. You weigh you, and nothing else. It does nothing but spit out a number. How crazy are we to let that control our lives?!
A happy weight to me is a weight where I feel comfortable, athletic, energized, and well-fed. I don’t feel tired all the time, lethargic, starving, or weak. I have reached complete “homeostasis” so to speak ;)
I hope more people will take the same path you’ve taken!
Can I steal yours? I loved your scale disclaimer & wanted to print it off & put it in a prominant area so that I see it often. :)
this post brought tears to my eyes. My disclaimer would be about how little daily fluctuations really mean. Think about it, just drinking 2 glasses of water (16oz) will add a lb to the scale! yet that could totally ruin someones day.
I can relate to this. I had an eating disorder when I was thirteen and I’ve struggled with food, weight, and body image ever since. Weighing and counting calories took over my life, so I had to give them both up and I’m so glad I did. I’m not sure what my happy weight is. I may be at it right now but I’m still learning to listen to my body and exercise for fun. I’ve made a ton of progress and I can say I’m well on my way!
Scales should come with a disclaimer. Actually, I think our society needs to get over the stigma of weight in general. Weight doesn’t tell you a think about health, fitness, body composition, and especially worth as a person. If you genuinely want to track you’re fitness, test your body fat percentage. See how far you can run, how many push-ups you can do. Still, none of these goes any deeper than the surface. After all, we have bodies, but we are not our bodies. We are souls who possess a body, and the state of the body has nothing to do with the value of that soul!
Wow, great post. Thank you so much.
My scale disclaimer would be really simple. “Warning: Your levels of grace, beauty, and power will cause harm to the appliance. Please discontinue use.”
Fantastic post Angela. It gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes (at my desk at work!)
I’ve never really struggle with me weight until recently. I’m currently trying to come to grips with the concepts of healthy weight vs happy weight and trying to lose weight and find happiness (separately from each other). Reading about your experience reminds me that achieving balance, health and happiness is totally possible no matter what the circumstances.
I love reading your blog. You are such an inspiration. Thank you.
Amazing post! Unfortunately, I am still struggling with scale and finding my happy weight.
My scale disclaimer would read “The number below does not recognize the growth you’ve become as a runner and a soon to be marathoner!”
I feel like this post was written directly for me. I am currently trying to get to my healthy weight and it is such a struggle. I am trying to find a healthy balance to lose the weight, but I struggle with binge eating as well. What I try to remember is how I feel after I binge on a bag of chips, lethargic, sluggish, weak and thirsty; and then I think about how I feel after I eat a healthy lunch- energetic, strong, happy and healthy! Most of the time I am able to make the right choice, but when I do make those unhealthy choices I tell myself it is a journey I am taking and we are all human and make mistakes so I just have to get back on track to nourish my body.
My Scale disclaimer would say ” These numbers do not define the powerful, strong woman you are! You are loved by many, just be you!”
I saw the scale disclaimer over on Caitlin’s blog – It’s so funny yet so true! I also like the first note/poem in the book! Great post!
I haven’t weighed myself in ages. I am happier without it.
I exercise to build muscle and be toned so I know the scale would be misleading me with a high number. I simply rely on how my clothes fit and how I feel.
I enjoy the foods I eat. No food (vegetarian) has ever passed my mouth
and been branded bad. I eat clean most of the times.
I feel empowered to plan my indulgences.
I enjoy food. I experience food. Food and I have a karmic, loving relationship.
I am the food I eat.
I don’t own a scale. But if I did, I’d put this disclaimer on it:
—————————————————————————————–
Hi,
I’m a modern-day gadget designed to weigh the water, muscle tissues,
and fat-cells in your body at this moment.
Like your age, I’m just a number.
I cannot measure the beauty in your eyes,
the love in your heart, or the depth in your soul.
I cannot measure the number of times you’ve laughed.
I cannot measure the number of lives you’ve touched.
I cannot measure the number of lessons you’ve taught and learned.
I can only measure the weight of your innards as of this moment.
Say, did I just disclose how pretty much useless I am?!!
Darn.
But it sure was a pleasure having you mount me.
You are one hot babe ;)
This post made me cry. I feel like I’m at that exact point where you said you were, where I’m mini-binging almost daily, being frustrated with myself as I recover from anorexia, telling myself I’m going to be a fat binge-eater and everyone will make fun of me as I rocket from underweight to healthy weight to overweight to obese. It’s a vicious cycle as it makes me eat more and more, and mindful eating goes down the drain. Oh, man. I hate feeling like this. Thank you so, so much for posting this. My scale wouldn’t come with a disclaimer. My scale would come with a “poisonous” sign. And no batteries.
I wish I could talk to someone.
Wei-Wei
Great post! This is something I am still right in the middle of struggling with. I really think reading this book would be tremendously helpful for my poor self image. I know I have an unhealthy attitude and I don’t currently love myself, but I’m working on it!
What would your ‘Scale Disclaimer’ read? What does a happy weight mean to YOU?
Great post Angela. Your post and blog reignites so much with me because I have gone through a similar struggle. I actually think over the past two weeks I have realized that I found my happy weight. I was working so hard to get to my goal weight when I realized that no matter what my goal weight is it will never be “good enough”. Instead I have been eating healthier then I ever have and exercising for fun and I actually feel great! If it takes extremes to get that extra 3 pounds off then maybe my body is happy where it’s at! To me my happy weight is a weight where I feel my best at without having to go to extremes with diet restriction or exercise. Let your body guide you.
My “Scale Disclaimer” would read: Warning what you see on the scale is just a number. It is not a gauge of how your body feels or how happy or beautiful you are.
I love your post and very much relate to your struggles. I think for me, changing from the inside out has been such an incredible journey, and yet I know the changes are lasting. My scale disclamer would say, “You are not defined by a number, you are already priceless.” My happy weight is when I feel powerful. I love going for a run and feeling like I could run forever. Then I know my body is completely at peace and balanced.
I couldn’t agree with you more Angela! For years I struggled, thinking that I need to reach a certain weight to be happy. The truth is, the two times in my life I have been at that weight I felt tired and weak. That is not a happy or healthy place to be! I am slowly learning to accept that my body is happy right where it’s at…and that is a weight that is going to be a little higher than the media’s “ideal” because… I’m 5’11!
Angela, you really inspire me! Thank you for this post, and this blog!
I would add to the scale disclaimer: Measures pounds not worth! What is “a pound” anyways? Ultimately, not a very important thing! You may want to replace this “pounds” scale with more time with people who love you and know just how great and beautiful you are and will tell you so! That’s what you really want to know isn’t it? Not how many “pounds” you weigh!
Angela, I love this post. I know how you feel in some respects as I have suffered from an eating disorder and am now in the recovery process. your post brought tears to my eyes.
“When you remember your wedding day memories of enormous love will fill your mind and heart… not how skinny you looked in your dress.”
Omigosh, mine would read exactly as yours. I used to freak out about the fluctuations in the scale. I would also not feel very worthy to live if I went back to my high school weight.
Angela, what a great post! You have come sooooo far. You are so beautiful, inside and out!!!!
You are the way you feel so embrace your life and love it! Stop thinking about the obstacles and enjoy the triumphs of the journey!
What a well written and great post. I struggle with the numbers all the time. I lost 100lbs on Weight Watchers a few years ago and struggle to get my last 30 off to get to my “happy weight.” Part of knows this weight is too low for me to be happy and maintain it but to be that number equals happiness. At that number all my problems go away! This post hit home with me. I do want to lose more but I do want to focus more on how my body feels and worry less about the scale and counting calories. I’ve been counting points on Weight Watchers for five years so it’s hard to not go crazy every once in a while.
My scale disclaimer: This does NOT make you a failure.
Sigh.
My happy weight revolves around how I look in my clothes – if I look good, I am happy – doesn’t matter what the scale says. I do weigh myself about once a week just to make sure things stay about the same. My weight fluctuates within the same 5 pounds, and always has … if it started to change more dramatically than that, it would be a sign that something is wrong.
Thank you for setting such a great example for us! Beauty comes from confidence and pride in who you truly are, not what you think you could or should be. Everyone is different so we should stop trying to compare ourselves to everyone else, espcially when it comes to the number on the scale.
Wow, this may have been my favorite post—ever. I’m struggling with many of the things you discussed and couldn’t help but smile at the end of your post.
Thank you, Angela :)
To me, my happy weight is achieved when I’m not constantly thinking about eating. I attribute being hungry to this, which also means I’m probably not givng my body what it needs. When I go through my day without huge dips in energy, I am happy. :)
Great post Angela!
This is such a fantastic post – thank you for sharing your story!
For me, Happy Weight is pretty much what you said – a weight that your body can maintain easily and *sanely*. (Sane is the huge part of that for me.) I know that I eat healthfully and when I’m hungry and that my body is in a really good, healthy place. I happen to be lighter and leaner than I’ve been in YEARS, but sometimes a voice in my head pops up saying, “But just 5 more pounds gone would be better!” It’s a challenge to quiet it, but I just keep doing what I now know is good for my body – moving regularly and eating well. I, too, have given up on counting calories, because I know that it just makes me crazy.
If I were to write a scale disclaimer, it would say, “You are so much more than just a number. Don’t live your life based on what this item says, because it can’t tell you what you can and cannot do.” It’s a huge thing for me to remember that, because I just have a heavier build. No matter what I do, I’ll always be 10-15 pounds heavier than a lot of other women my size, and I’m OK with that. I know that my body is strong and capable of doing amazing things, which is what it’s all about.
What an awesome post! I can relate to this all too well. My disclaimer would read: “This scale cannot tell you how strong you are, how much your family loves you, or what you can accomplish with the beautiful body God gave you. Honor Him by honoring you.”
Wow. So I’m a blog lurker, subscribed to many many blogs, read and go about my day but this post was so great I had to comment. LOVE your scale disclaimer…I couldn’t help but get emotional myself. Thank you for this :) Have a great day!
Wow – this post made me cry! I can’t believe how much I related to everything you said…I actually just threw out the batteries for my scale yesterday. I am so stuck in this cycle right now…I need to learn to love myself right now, not after I lose weight! You are so right…why didn’t I see this before? Anyway, after much thought, I suppose my disclaimer would say:
Warning: This scale does not measure the size of your heart. This scale does not show you how many people care about you. The numbers shown on this scale do not make you a better (or worse!) person. This scale will not make you love yourself.
In fact- I think I am going to make a sticky note that says this and put it on my dead scale. =)
You should add “in fact, it’ll make you hate yourself” because that’s what scales make us do – hate ourselves, judge ourselves, be critical of ourselves, which is not want we all need. I like your idea of putting your sticky on your scale, that’s a good incentive to not step on it!
Thank you so much for this post, Angela! It was definitely something I needed to hear today. My scale disclaimer would read: “A lower weight does not equal an increase in happiness. The number on this scale will not win your family’s approval. It does not define you. It will not give you happiness or make the pain go away. It does not measure your beauty, or your smile, or the way you care about others.”
I LOVE this disclaimer – it’s perfect!
I haven’t weighed myself lately either. I realized that whether the number went up or down I had the same reaction.
My scale disclaimer would read:
This scale will not tell you how you feel. The number will not reveal your energy levels, your spunk, or your happiness. It is merely a number indicative of many things. Do not focus on it.
Oops! I meant:
It is merely a number, indicative of nothing!
Beautiful post, Ange! Thank you so much for always being so open and honest in your posts. I’ve learned SO much from your experiences and advice! :)
I never had a specific number in mind when I struggled with disordered eating, but I just wanted to keep on losing and losing and losing! And the more that number on the scale went down, the happier I was, but the sicker I got. It was so twisted! I’m so glad I’ve finally accepted that skinny does not equal healthy!
What a great post! I really enjoyed reading it and connected with all your thoughts, Angela – I think so many women will. I go back and forth, to be honest, about ditching the scale and seem to use it as a regulator but my husband helps me take a break from it if it’s starting to control me more (he can tell!)…maybe it’s time to take a permanent break. My scale disclaimer would be: “Don’t let this number make or break your day, but rather go and live in the freedom of who you are: a valuable and loved woman who is strong, capable, and healthy regardless of the number. This number does not define you; you are defined by God as his beloved child with whom he is well-pleased.”
“Happy weight” means living at a weight my body can maintain and sustain through regular exercise and healthy living in the most natural senses of the words, not in an obsessive sense. Eating for health and moving for health, not for weight.
Thanks again for this post…think I might reread it again. :)
Happy weight to me means that I LISTEN to what my body is telling me. That I eat foods that make me feel great and that I find forms of exercise that challenge and strengthen and make me feel great. It means that I stop letting circumstance dictate how I feel about me and I start taking charge and putting myself as a priority. I am EXTREMELY knew to this journey, but I am proud!
I am in week one of training for a hiking challenge that takes place in November. It will be quite a challenge but I am excited – and I LOVE to hike. =)
Great post! It’s so interesting, because years ago in my 20’s I was a certain weight, then it crept up 10 pounds. I was so depressed about that and I was always trying to get the weight back down, but in the process I ended up gaining another 40 pounds into my 30’s. I felt miserable and hated the way I looked. I ended up losing 40 pounds and felt much better, but always was striving for that last 10 pounds with that same thought “I’d be so much happier if I lost that 10 pounds”. When I did lose another 8 pounds, I realized that sure I was thinner, but I wasn’t happy, I was always hungry, and my body wasn’t happy. Just because I”m a certain weight doesn’t make my life all of a sudden perfect. Since then, I’ve gained that 8 pounds back, and I know that my body is really happy at that weight. No, I don’t look like a model, but that’s ok with me, my body is happy, I’m not starving. I’ve come to accept who I am, what I look like, and you know what, I now like myself (actually love myself). It turned out not to be a number on the scale, but what it was that I was eating (healthy whole foods, no processed) and doing(getting out and doing things whether it’s yoga, running, or just walking around with my husband and dogs, but not sitting in front of the tv all day hating myself).
There’s a recent tv commercial for Weight Watchers with Jennifer Hudson. She says something about how she’s lost weight and how she loves herself that much more for it. Everytime I hear that, I cringe. I remember what I’ve learned over the years, and what I’ve read on blogs, especially yours, and how that just perpetuates this negativeness (is that a word) that’s so rampant in society today about the way we look. I HATE that commercial!
beautifully written angela! i am so inspired by you :)
i have given up weighing myself. my younger (20 year old) sister doesn’t and she is honestly my role model when it comes to body image and food. she doesn’t care if her pants are tight – she buys new ones! she doesn’t care if she’s lost weight – she’s still eating what she loves and incorporating healthy foods as often as possible and exercising 2-6 times per week depending on the week! she doesn’t value herself and her qualities based on a number that is simply a scientific measure! all these qualities i hope to regain :)
My scale note would say “i am a silly machine that is insensitive. i do not care if you eat healthfully, workout, or enjoy time with friends and family. i just want to measure you. do you really want to be my friend?”
this blog post just made my day. seriously. thank you. thank you. thank you. :)
I can relate to so much in this post! Still struggling to accept my happy weight as 10lbs more than I want to be (and more than I was 7 years ago), but am trying to focus more on food as enjoyment and energy, and less as calories. Dying to try VOO but nervous because I won’t know the calorie count – ridiculous!! Also trying to focus on exercise to feel stronger and more confident. All in all, trying to change the way I see myself but it’s a long uphill slog! I’m looking forward to the day when I can throw away my scales and not mentally run through the calorie count of everything I eat and have eaten – as always you’re blog is so inspirational!
My healthy, ideal weight is the weight that puts me out of the “overweight” category. It is the weight that I remember feeling the most alive – the most energy, happiness, fit, and ease of living. It is the weight I remember being my healthiest, before I dropped the bomb and gained so much weight. For me that number is 150lb, but for others it could be higher or lower. There is no set ideal number on the scale that is universal. Scales are only a guide that can help us with our goal, not direct it.
A happy weight to me is the point where I walk into a room feeling confident about my body. When I go to the gym because I WANT to be there and not feel as though I NEED to be. A happy weight is the point where I trust my body and the connection that my mind has with it to control what I eat and drink but not obsess about it. I don’t know that I am quite there yet, but I am definitely working toward that point.
This post really has me thinking. I weigh myself every morning, and each morning, whatever the number is determines my happiness. This is not right. I am about 20 pounds over what I consider to be a healthy weight for me. My scale should read: “Nobody but you cares what this number is.” My husband doesn’t care. My kids don’t care. But I can’t stop obsessing over the number and my belly that looks like I am 4 months pregnant when I am not, and beating myself up whenever I eat too much or eat junk. I need to get off this vicious cycle, ditch the scale, and just take care of my body.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
My scale would read: Don’t step on me until you are comfortable in your body and how you look and feel. That is more important than some silly number! When you are comfortable with yourself inside and out, you probably won’t even want to step on me. Go enjoy your life and don’t worry about me!”
I love this.
1. I cannot count calories either. I obsess and worry about how many I’ve eaten, how many I ‘have left,’ etc ALL DAY when I do.
2. Due to a change in medications + hypothyroidism + stress + etc, I am currently above my ideal weight. I had been worrying about the number on the scale and the fact that my old jeans don’t fit, but realized the other day that this wasn’t healthy. Now, I am focusing on being PROUD of the fact that I am strong enough to bike 120+ hilly miles in a week, being proud of my progress with weight lifting, and being happy with my new career path. It is so much worthwhile to focus on these things, and if I am happy and fit and keep eating healthy, the weight will eventually come off if it is meant to. And in the meantime, I’ll buy a new pair of jeans. ;)
I am currently on my happiness weight journey….finally starting to feel like I’m getting it right and feeling a sense of relaxation about my weight. I think the scale disclaimer for me would read “This is just a number – don’t let it impact the way you feel about yourself for a second. No part of this number should dictate whether or not you can smile and be proud of who you are!” A happy weight for me is the weight I can feel my best logging long miles on the road, and the weight that allows me to still indulge in my monster sweet tooth!
Thanks for sharing Angela. Somehow, your blog has healed many of my destructive emotions. I would’ve never guessed that words could be so powerful in this way, it must have something to do with your amazing energy! Infectious – across thousands of miles, and different cultures – we are all catching a piece of the positive energy you have thrown into the universe.
To me happy weight means healthy weight that comes from eating right, staying active, and thinking positive. I believe that whatever weight one is supposed to be, if you do those three things, your body will naturally adjust to it’s “happy weight”
My scale disclaimer would read: “Darling? You look fabulous. Stop wasting time standing still and obsessing; go read something inspiring, kiss your future husband and barefoot in the grass. Life’s too short. Love you.”
Thank you Angela. Your posts, especially ones like these, remind me what is important, and inspire me to respect my body.
Unfortunately, I train in a weightclass based sport, and especially at high levels, success often rests on being the strongest in the weightclass. This means that during the tournament season, I must diet down to a weight that’s actually below my happy/healthy weight. However, in my recovery from disordered eating, I have realized that while the diet and weightloss are a necessary evil, and are temporary. I am now happy, rather than depressed, when I return to a healthy weight and bodyfat percentage during the off season.
For this reason, my disclaimer would be a bit different:
This scale will be out of order during the summer months. Sorry for the inconvenience. In the meantime, feel free to trust your body to lead you to health.
I can identify with your struggle so much. I too went through the same body/weight issues from the ages of 14 to 25. I also don’t ever step on the scale (I even close my eyes at the doctor’s office). I feel like a whole new confident and healthy person now but I fear that weighing myself could open a can of worms and I don’t wanna go there :) My disclaimer would say “No matter what the number is, it doesn’t change who you are for better or worse.”
Lovely post Angela, though I wouldn’t have expected anything but. To be honest, right now I am struggling with the idea of a happy weight, though I agree with how you stated it. Being in a business where your appearance matters a LOT (ballet) makes it really hard to maintain a positive self image for right now if you aren’t the ideal they want. How you look affects what roles you get and how much the directors like you (oh how I wish this wasn’t true!). Anyways, thanks for this post to remind us all that that’s not how it has to be. :)
-K
Wonderful post.. I cried then I lept into action. I posted the disclaimer on my scale (I’m sure my husband will laugh and enjoy it too!) After a week with Angela’s disclaimer my new disclaimer will be: The only numbers that matter today: “How many times willl/did I smile? How many times wiil/did I make my husband smile? How many times wiil/did I make my teammates at work feel better about themselves and their work?”
Have a wonderful day everyone. Smile and share these disclaimers with your friends.
What an honest, straight from the heart post, Angela! My disclaimer would read: that number does not define you. It does not mean you can’t have a glass of wine or a cookie when you want it. It doesn’t mean you need to run an extra few miles. Know that you are amazing because you strive to be and you treat your body well. And occasionally take a break from it all, no matter what this number reads. You deserve it.
I just love Operation Beautiful. I nearly cried while watching Caitlin’s clip yesterday. She did such an amazing job and I think that it is so important to remind ourselves and other people that we are perfect just the way we are today. Not in ten pounds or five or 50. Just the way we are today.
My scale disclaimer would be “a scale can’t tell you how strong you are, no matter what the number says. You are stronger than you know!” One of my favorites will always be “scales measure weight, not worth.”
Thanks for being such an inspiration Angela!!!
I would like to be entered in the drawing. This was written beautifully! I was anorexic for a few years and identified with your words. I still cannot feel hunger. And I still devour food when it is in front of me as if it is the last food I will ever get to eat… it has been 6 years since i stopped the food madness but it has left it’s mark on me. BTW I look better now than I ever have :) My motivation for exercising is just to look at myself in the mirror… I like the muscle tone. I wish the media would stop photo-shopping and airbrushing models, so we can see that all women look like us and we are beautiful. As a mother to a lovely daughter this concerns me even more as i wish her to grow up not comparing herself to impossible images.
Thanks for sharing this, Angela. I’ve never been through weighting obsession, probably simply because we never had a functioning scales at home, but I do know what you mean when you talk about a Happy Weight. I was underweight as a teenager and while many of my girlfriends at the time might have felt jealous, I was so unhappy with myself: I felt I was small and weak and very boyish looking, no feminine curves whatsoever! It took me a couple of years and a loving partner to accept my body shape, from its boyishness when I was younger to a more feminine silhouette now! Even though there’s always something I’d like to improve, I try not to obsess about it and just try to have a more healthy, balanced approach towards my body.
I wish all the young girls out there who struggle with their body image could read your post! xxx
I am slowly coming down from being as obsessed with the scale as I used to be. I would have to post on my scale: “The number this displays is just a number, it is not a factor in your self worth.”
I got teary-eyed when I read this blog as it really resonated with me. I’m going to have to link to it in my post today because I really think everyone should read it!
I can’t tell you how emotional this post made me – our stories sound almost exactly the same, I’m just still working on finding it. I actually JUST posted about my decision to stop counting calories!
I stopped weighing myself because the number dictated my entire DAY. My disclaimer would read: “It’s just a number. You don’t describe yourself as smart, beautiful, and XXX pounds! Don’t let it take away your happiness – it’s not a measure of your worth.”
Honestly, I’m still figuring out what my happy weight is, but to me, it is a place where I feel perfectly comfortable in my skin. I think I’m getting there. It was SO relieving to me to read about your struggle and know that it took time – I feel sometimes like I will never get there. Thank you!
Oh, I’m not sure if I’ve commented before, but I just LOVE your blog & follow it and I completely admire your job – I ‘m actually going to culinary school to be a baker after I graduate with my bachelor’s, and hope I’m half as successful as you!!
Scales..ugh, I have definitely had my struggles with the scale.
My disclaimer would read, the number on this scale will not measure how far you’ve come – only the body that brought you to here.
This week has inspired me and you inspire me. I’m going to make some positive changes and would love a copy of the book to help.
There should be a disclaimer on scales that say:
Use with discretion; for a more accurate measure, look inside.
Love this post, simply wonderful.
My disclaimer would read: This number is NOT in direct relation to your value. Now get off and go find something better to do!
GREAT post! I have gone through a very similar journey of binging and restriction, and am happy to say I finally feel like I’m settling into a good place with my body image! I think cutting out calorie-counting was key for me, too! (even though it was hard to stop!)
Happy weight to me means that I feel confident in my body, and don’t stress about my looks or diet on a daily basis. I’m not TOTALLY there yet… but I am proud of myself for how fare I’ve come, and I’ve started appreciating myself NOW, instead of waiting for those last 10 lbs!
Wow. This is an inspiring post, mostly because I can (unfortunately) relate to many of the things that you said. I understand how it feels to wake up everyday and think about weight, the meals you’ll eat, and how those will cause the negative thoughts. It’s an awful way to live! I’ve been struggling to get over the same problems for about 6 months — I finally just had had enough of the negative thoughts and the way it made me feel about myself! It surely is a struggle everyday, but everyday you get a little stronger and compared to the past I’m leaps and bounds from that point in my life. I can honestly say that the world of food blogs has helped SO much in this process because I don’t feel alone! There are people all over that provide the inspiration to keep trucking through and I want to thank you because you are one of them that helps me realize that someday I can be free of those thoughts too!
what a wonderful post! I immediately bookmarked it cause I know I will enjoy going back to read it many times in the future. You are a great inspiration :)
A happy weight to me is when I feel comfy in my clothes, and when I feel fit and in shape. I go through phases of weighing myself daily/writing down all my food to putting the scale in the closet and focusing on eating healthy foods when my body tells me it is hungry. I do see that option 2 makes me much happier overall and it is the way I try to be. It doesn’t come overnight, but I think after reading this post, I am that much closer to the way you think.
To me, being active, athletic, in shape and healthy is a million times more important than a number on a scale. I have lots of friends who look up to me and envy me for how much I run and how dedicated I am. To me that makes me feel way better than any number on a scale ever could
Hi Angela, I am a pretty new reader, and actually not a blogger. I absolutely loved this post. After attending my first yin yoga class last week I explored a website to learn more about it. There was a quote that really stuck with me: “You do not use your body to get into the poses, you use the poses to get into your body”.
In my mind this relates a lot to this post, and what a healthy weight means. When you are exercising and eating healthy you are loving your body, and your body in turn, will love you back. When you do what is right for your body, it will do what is right for you, which will look different from person to person.
Thank you for being an inspiration!
-Melissa
What a great post! I used to be a slave to the scale, and I had different goal weights for each time of the day. I even brought my scale on vacations! After three years of ED therapy and ditching the scale, I am now in recovery and at my happy weight, whatever that number is. To me, my happy weight is more of a feeling–I feel strong and confident in my body now!
I heard about operation beautiful on cosmo radio yesterday, which lead me to healthy tipping point and then to this bolg. I feel like I’ve just had my healthy tipping point and am inspired so much by strong ladies like you. Thanks for sharing and inspiring me!
Angela. Thank you. This post resonated so much with me. I have never been a scale person. I’ve always just gone with how my clothes fit and how I feel but that’s not to say I don’t often wish I was 10 or 15 lbs lighter. Thank you for being so inspiring and for such a wonderful post.
On a completely different not I just had cacao nibs (for the first time ever) in my oats this morning. OMG! Words cannot describe. So delicious.
As someone currently in the never ending struggle to accept my body, embrace my love for health, and banish negative self-talk this post really speaks to me. I am 21 years old but I’ve felt like I’ve spent nearly the last 10 years in a civil war between my body and soul. It’s hard but I think this website and others have greatly helped me overcome the need to obsess about calories in and calories out. Thus being said, I would love love LOVE to win a copy of this book. My disclaimer for a scale would say, “This number doesn’t summarize nor represent me and my passion for life, therefore it cannot constrain me.”
I’m not going to lie, I never weigh myself. Never have never will – only at the doctor once a year. I just don’t care what I weigh!!
But I guess mine would read: “Warning: Stepping on this scale will not bring you the happiness you deserve.”
Hi Angela,
I love your site! I loved this post even more!
I am 23 years old and have had an ED since the age of 10. When all of the other girls were still skinny I was chubby and started developing sooner. Ever since than a day does not go by where I do not think about food, my weight and how othre must think I look horrible. Everyday is a struggle, and even though I will have 2-3 days go by here and there where I believe I can actually start to be happy with eating right and exercising and not caring what the scale says, the same thing happens over and over again, my self worth flies out the window and I am back to my old habits. I am trying SO hard and reading your blog has been showing me how strong and healthy I can be and is so encouraging that I want to try my hardest to live a healthy life! I believe someday I will be happy and I will be able to love myself, for now I am working on it though. I would LOVE to win this book because I think it would help my self esteem and help me keep going on the right path. Thanks Angela! You truly are an inspiration to all of us that are probably feeling the exact same way about ourselves. I am also inspired to write some notes and leave them!
I know I’m not alone.
That post made me all weepy.
‘
You’re full of awesome and Angela and so are we :D
p.s. it makes me mad at myself sometimes that I allow those little numbers to make my day or ruin it.
This was a fantastic post. Just uplifting and positive and moving.
my scale disclaimer would read: The number displayed here is in no way related to your worth. Beauty cannot be measured in pounds. You cannot measure kindness and compassion in ounces. You cannot measure happiness with a number. The number displayed here has no power.
I completely agree with your definition of Happy Weight and for the first time ever I feel like I am at my Happy Weight. It is my “goal” weight. No. And that’s okay. I am free from the scale and I am free from calorie counting. They are no longer holding me down or holding me back. I am happy to be me as I am. I love myself as a person and I love my body for all that it does and can do. My goals are no longer weight-related, they are fitness-related and I am excited to see what happens next.
Reading this post made me extremely happy inside! It’s so nice to hear that you are happy with your body and have found balance in your life..YOU ARE IN CONTROL! For many years I struggled as well. The starving then binging, tears on my pillow diet. It was a vicious cycle and took the passing of a very close friend of the family that helped me snap out of it. A healthy weight to me before was eating as little as I could survive on some days and looking supermodel thin. Now it’s eating healthy and allowing those healthy treats too, as well as staying active. The body that is formed from doing these things I KNOW is what I am meant to look like. I feel great and am in control now! :)
Thank you so much for your honest post!
Thank you for the beautiful, emotional, heartfelt post–I absolutely loved it, related to it, and felt so happy for you when reading it! My scale disclaimer would read: “This number does NOT define you or imply that you are healthy, happy, or beautiful. You are all of those things without the scale!” For me, my happy weight is where I am now–a place where I am not constantly battling with my body and beating it into a state of submission. Thank you for your post!
I love your post. I have been struggling the past few days with old demons, the ones you described. I am training for a marathon and started having some pain in my leg so I have been taking time off to recover. I know that I am doing the right thing, but it is such a struggle for me to not slip back into the guilt and the roller coaster that was my life before I found freedom in being who I was made to be. Your post encouraged me to keep pressing on, even when things get hard being happy with myself is a choice, pure and simple.
I have been reading your blogs for months now … and I love them. I love your recipe ideas and your writing. And I’m making a special trip this weekend to Ambrosia so I can finally try a Glo Bar!!! Halfway through reading this post I went over to SparkPeople and updated my status to point everyone to your blog because I think what you have just written is so important. Thank you!
I have to say… I just starting following your blog, but have found it so helpful and motivating. I am currently trying to fight an eating disorder, and it is so encouraging reading your thoughts and tips for getting through those times.
Thank you
Thank you thank you thank you for the scale disclaimer pic. I immediately copied and pasted it and sent it to every woman I know!
My scale disclaimer would say “Your health is more important than this number.”
Scale Disclaimer: Your self-worth weighs more than this scale can possibly measure!
My happy weight is where I don’t focus on calories more than my own overall health. At my happy weight, I feel no need to overeat because the anxiety attached to food is lessened and I am able to trust my body!.
My scale disclaimer would read: “This is what you WEIGH, not what you ARE.”
A happy weight would mean, for me, finding a weight that I can maintain without having to calorie count or work out like a crazy person. It would mean, simply, that I’m confident and comfortable.
My scale disclaimer would read: “This number does not define who I am. This number does not show my true self. This number will not make be a better person. Happiness and true beauty come from the inside. I am BEAUTIFUL”
Great post!
Your blog truly is inspiring. Like you I battled with my weight, I am only 5 feet tall and in college I gained weight and then all of a sudden the numbers on my scale consumed me. I would work out for one hour after EVERY single thing I ate. The better part of my days were spent in the campus gym or with Billy Blanks. I felt that my weight and my body was the only thing I could control so I tortured my body into weight 83 lbs. My parents intervened and got me the help that I needed and I actually finally feel, six years later, that I have arrived at my happy weight. I think that my journey was worth it, because there is no positivity in regretting the past. I learned more about myself than I would have imagined possible. My disclaimer on my scale would say: You are not the boss of me!!!!
I’d love a copy of the book. Looks like a good one.
My disclaimer would be: I’m a tool, but not always a true indicator of health. USE IN MODERATION: may cause moodiness, frustration, and obsession with overuse.
Such an inspiring story! I’m loving all the body love going on this week on the blogs!
You can tell this post really took a lot of time and preparation – it’s awesome! I loooove the scale disclaimer. Every scale should have one! I wrote about a similar topic at the end of my post on my blog today too:)
Wow. This post brought tears to my eyes. I am constantly having an internal struggle with myself and I am hoping to conquer it soon. I don’t want my girls growing up with a bad body image, as I did.
Mine would read something like: “I love me. Not for my weight or my looks, but for the importance of being a good person, a wonderful mother and a loving wife.”
Thanks Angela!
Liz
The Nifty Nest
the scale is such a poisoning item to have in the house. In fact it does nothing but plague us and everytime we jump on it screams another number! anyways point is nobody gives a shit if your 110, 120, 130 so on and so forth. in fact nobody will even notice. Furthermore once you start embodying a more powerful, stronger and more confident person…only then will people notice you!
You’re disclaimer took the words out of my mouth…But if I had to change it, it would say:
Warning: Your heart weighs too much for this scale- so jump off, quit wasting your time and do something good for the world today. Fill your day loving on others, and your weight worries will melt away!
Angela, You have such wonderful advice and I am so thankful for your blog each day! This article was inspiring.
Great post. I want to read the book myself and share it with my daughters in a few years.
A happy weight means to me, the weight that my body has settled at after two pregnancies while maintaining a healthy lifestyle determined only by me. My body may never be the same as it was before I had my babies but that no longer bothers me because the unconditional love and joy they bring me everyday is so worth it and I know I am doing my best to teach them to lead healthy active lives with some indulgences along the way.
Hi Angela,
New reader here (and fellow Guelph Alumni!!).
I love, love your blog! I came across it a while back but started really following just recently. I like your combination of food, health and life in general.
I myself have not been really obsessive with food or exercise. I can’t say that I have had a high self-esteem, or that I haven’t let myself influence by the scale in the past (and sometimes still in the present). My housemate (and best friend) in Guelph, however has struggled with being VERY restrictive with her eating (then has binges on some occasions), OBSESSIVE about exercising.
Even though I was not too concerned with my eating habits before, after living together for 4 years some habits started to rub off. I am not restrictive with my eating really because I know that my body will not function with too little food, but I still get in the habit of thinking about calories and fat intake and scale… and feeling guilty if I haven’t worked out. I didn’t fully realize I had picked up some of her things until I moved out. Whenever those thoughts creep up I try to shut them up by telling myself that what matters is whether I am being healthy and feeling great! And that the number on the scale is not a real representation of who I am!
My disclaimer on the scale would read: “the number on this scale does not represent any of your accomplishments! It does not give any indication of how strong you are and how much love you have for you family, friends and pets!”
Keep up the amazing posts!
Stef
Only recently have I begun to realize my happy weight just might be what it is right now. Gasp! I can’t believe I just said that;)
Really though, I’ve been fighting my weight and being unhappy with myself my. entire. life. I’m so tired of it, and this week has been just enough to push me to a happy place for the first time. It’s almost like I’ve been knocked over the side of the head with all of these wonderful truths about where my beauty truly comes from and how to love myself, no matter than number on the sale. Whoop!
My scale disclaimer would simply say: “step away from the scale! it will most certainly rob you of happiness, contentment and a good mood.” :)
Great post, girl.
My happy weight is no weight at all. It is me feeling confident, fit and alive. It is me taking control of my confidence, not needing to get it from anywhere else. I think this is very true: No one thinks about you or worries as much as YOU DO. I am happy to be going strongly towards my happy weight and happy place in general.
Thank you for your post. I would love the book.
What a beautiful post. I love seeing so many people embrace Operation Beautiful. I have struggled since my battle with Ovarian cancer (where I gained weight from the medication). And even though I am still trying to take off the weight, having bloggers like you remain so positive and uplifting is such a blessing to me. Thank you for your post.
My scale disclaimer would say:
“The number on this scale will not determine how fast you can run, how hard you can bike, or how happy you will be.”
For me, a happy weight means being a weight that I am comfortable with, a weight that does not require me to starve myself, restrict my calories, or pass on the simple pleasures (a cold beer, a warm cookie, a nice meal at a restaurant with my boyfriend). When I eat healthy and exercise, I feel no need or desire to binge. I am just…happy. I look in the mirror and I love who I see. When I try to restrict, I justify having one cupcake and then that turns into two cupcakes and three cookies, two bowls of cereal, some leftover macaroni and cheese, a bowl of ice cream, some potato chips, and whatever crappy food I can find in my pantry. And then I feel so guilty and depressed and I vow not to eat the next day, only to end the day in the same exact way as the day before.
To stay at my healthy weight it is vital that I exercise regularly and COOK MY OWN MEALS. Nothing is more rewarding that creating healthy, delicious meals in my kitchen and then truly enjoying the foods I’ve just made. I feel satisfied and many times I don’t even want dessert after dinner because dinner was so tasty and satisfying.
My disclamer would read as follows:
This number doesn’t tell you how amazing or strong you really are. IT is not capable of measuring anything of value to the person standing on it. Rather to not stand on it gives you the power to be happy with yourself and all of your accomplishments.
A happy weight is one that I can achieve from improving my running ( working on it), playing with my kids, and one that is not inspired from magazines or television.
Angela, What a great post…. I am not sure you even understand what an inspiration you are to ALL women.
I have been following your blog for a few months now and your words of wisdom have made me feel like a more confident women.
I have been struggling with my weight and body confiedence for years, I have finally become comfortable with who I am and how my body looks. I would like to say thank you for making me believe in myself again and reminding me that I am strong, beautiful, fun, healthy and worth so much more than I ever give myself credit for. I only wish that more women had the confidence we now have, and the confidence that you have given me…. Keep up the amazing work you do, its people like you that inspire others to be the shinning stars they are!
This is such an amazing post and I have shivers!
I love your scale disclaimer. I think mine would read, “in the long run, this number doesn’t matter”.
When you’re old and looking back on your life, your not going to be thinking about that number on the scale. Being healthy and HAPPY is so much more important.
Amazing, amazing post!
Beautiful post…thank you for it! I did not struggle with food for most of my life; however, I did get to a point where I was overweight and unhealthy. I lost the weight, in a seemingly healthy way, but after it was gone, I felt like I should’ve done better, more. My stomach didn’t seem to flatten the way I thought it would, my thighs still had cellulite. I was actually more critical of myself after weight loss than before. When I really became passionate about exercise, it changed. I love the strength in my legs when I run and I love the centered feeling of getting into tree pose during yoga. I am so proud of my body, I enjoy food for what it is, and I finally feel happy with myself.
Scale disclaimer:
No matte what these numbers say, it will not bring oh to walk outside an smell fresh air, take advantage of the sunny day a head of you, smile and radiate happiness, it will not give you time to spend with you lovely family. It will only sink you into isolation and deprive yourself from the pleasures of life and all that it has to offer!
Seriosuly great post, it made me cry :(
I’d love to read the book! I saw her on tv!
Have a great healthy happy day!
Excellent post. I too have gone up and down in weight and struggled with over-exercising and disordered eating habits. I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to stop counting and start living. So are both my husband and the baby in my belly :)
What a great post! My scale disclaimer would be:
It’s not the number here that makes a difference. It’s how YOU feel.
Thank you so mcuh for this post Ange, and to the makers of ‘Operation Beautifu’l for such a great cause. Only recently have I begun to overcome my eating disorder and live like a normal teenager, but there are days that are worse than others. By reading your posts and being with my best friends I have realized that I sm beautiful just the way I am, and that I never even needed to lose weight in the first place.
If I had a scale disclaimer, it would say: Warning: This device may lead to obsessive scale-watching, weighing, and may even lead to an eating disorder. Use only for your own convenience, not as a measure of your own happiness.
For me, my ‘Happy Weight’ is the one I am at right now, or maybe even if I gain a pound or two THEN I’ll be at my happy weight because I find that I still restrain myself too much from both healthy and sweet foods. But everything worthwhile takes time, and the most important thing to me now is that I’m striving to be a heaslthier, happier ME.
Thank you, Angela. You are an inspiration to all of us. I really appreciate you being so open and sharing your thoughts like this. I’ve been struggling with anorexia and bulimia for 16 months now. I’m grateful to stay that I’ve thrown away my scale about 6 months ago. I was obsessing on that number. I still have a hard time not stepping on one when I see one at my friends house or etc. I just keep telling myself “it’s just a number, it doesn’t mean anything. you have a husband who loves you for who you are, not what you look like.” I’m so ready to be rid of this disorder. My husband and I want to have children in a few years, and I know that won’t happen until I get myself under control. Thank you, again, for sharing this with us.
I love this, everything you said relates to me. It’s like you were talking about me. Every day I tell myself “In 20 pounds I’ll be happy” in 20 pounds I’ll look better, I’ll have more confidence, etc… I have to get it through my head that I am happy right now. @ 5’6 150 pounds I should be somewhat happy, but I’m not. Just 20 more pounds… *sigh* it’s a constant battle that needs to end!
Thank you, Angela! I have never commented before, but I’ve been reading OSG for about a year now, and this post made me want to let you know how much you have honestly, sincerely helped me change my life – and learn not only to live it, but to love it! I don’t know where I would be right now if it weren’t for GMs, VOO, and learning to let myself trust ME when it comes to food; I’m glad I never had to find out. Thank you so, so, SO much for being you, and sharing you with all of us!
This is such a wonderful post. It’s exactly why I return to Oh She Glows every day and have done for so long – your total honesty and empathy and wonderful sense of self. It’s so inspiring and I think would give any woman who’s feeling down about herself hope.
So many female food bloggers have struggled with self esteem and self image issues, and the fact they are helping others is amazing. Keep up the amazing work Angela x
I find it hard to describe my happy weight, but in a way it’s a weight where I don’t care what I weigh…! That might sound strange but I put on a few lbs recently, it has stabilised (previous to this I lost weight and was going through some anxiety which contributed to it) and I feel happy about that. If I feel that my jeans are a bit snug, I won’t beat myself up, I’ll just cut back on the mindless grazing I do sometimes. I no longer monitor every pound that I put on or lost.
My scales would say ‘The scale doesn’t weigh what’s inside’
I read this post this morning and had to reread it now that I’m back home. I can relate with so many of the thoughts, emotions and feelings of worthlessness you talk about here. Thank you :)
I love your tips to reach a happy weight – a weight where you can wake up each morning and go to bed each night feeling content. Not everyday will be a perfect, happy, rainbows-and-sunshine day, but we should atleast be at peace with our bodies.
My scale disclaimer: Warning – the hunk of plastic you are about to step on doesn’t know you and hense, doesn’t know how beautiful you really are.
izzyy
xoxoxox
I just wanted to say how uplifting your post was today. I got to the end and was near tears. I love your disclaimer. It’s perfect. I hope that Caitlin’s message can be broadcast to the whole world and that everyone will see their own self worth. You’re so right about the scale. I hope to get to the point where you are some day, happy with myself for who I am and not focusing on a goal weight. I’m still struggling, but I’m working on it. Thank you Angela, very very good post :) (p.s. those oats look delectable :)
Oh thank you so much. Since delving into your blog and so many that follow you I have decided to quit the scale and the calorie counting. unlike you I need to lose weight, but after many years I have realized that my eating disorder (overeating) is just as deadly as overly restricting my calories. #4 on this post mean so much, alot of times I want to think that I will wake up one day and my eating will be “normal”. Thank you for this post I think these steps will be something i need to post.
(I am not trying to say that what you went through is anyless than what I am going through. Each of us have our own struggles and have to over come them.)
Penny
What a great post!! I needed to be reminded of everything you said! Thank you!! I just had a baby 7 weeks ago so I am very aware of what the number is on my scale. I weigh myself everyday hoping that it will have gone down. I have a ways to go to get back in my “pre-prego” jeans, but I know I will get there and I have to love my body the way it is now. After all, the reason I have this weight to lose is because I grew a baby inside me! How cool and awesome is that!! I need to remind myself every time I look in the mirror and see my body looking so different than it did before I got pregnant that I get to hold and kiss and snuggle my cute little man and realize that my body won’t always look this way…and my little guy won’t always be this little! :)
Great post! My happy weight is when I feel healthy – with a bit of a glow! :)
Angela, thank you for your beautiful post and blog and contribution to the healthy living community. You and other healthy living blogers gave me the courage to start my own blog in June, and write about some deeply personal and reavealing self-esteem and body image issues this week as part of the Operation Beautiful Virtual Book Tour. I’m not commenting to promote my own blog or post, but to tell you how beautiful and inspiring you are. (And your bakery and recipes and food photography too! *swoon*) Aaand I bought two extra copies of the Operation Beautiful book to give away on my blog, but since I’m a newbie I don’t think my drawing would be effective, so if you’re interested I’d love to donate my two extra books to your drawing!
great post! I love the scale disclaimer that “Izzy” wrote! so true!
I love this idea! I have posted little notes at work in the ladies room. So far I’ve heard a few whispers.
Thanks for being interactive with your listeners!
Fanta
I know you are about at 300 comments but I just had to leave one. Thank you so much for this post…it brought me to tears. I sit here thanking God that I took a typing class because I can’t see the keys =) This morning the first thing that popped in my head was…well it’s Friday lets see the damaged. I gained 0.2 pounds and I was ANGRY. I’m just dumbfounded at myself that I let that silly scale set the mood for my day…so in honor of this post and the beautiful OB site I’m ditching the scale. THANK you so much for this beautiful message.
WOW…this post really hits home! What a wake up call!
I don’t know what happy weight means to me….because I’ve never been there. Reading this post was like reading about my life right now. Just like you did I set goals for myself, but as soon as I reach it it’s just another 5, then 5 more, then 10. In order to reach these goals unhealthy habits have definitely developed. The more I lose the more I want to lose/more I exercise/less I eat. I love to exercise, but the last year it has been about burning the calories and not about the actual health benefits. Also food, which is a passion of mine is a huge anxiety trigger now which is sad to me. Instead of sitting down and enjoying a meal I’ve prepared for my family I get them fed and remove myself….which is sad to me, because now my habits are affecting my family and the time I spend with them.
Reading your blog inspires me daily to get healthy! I look forward to every new post! I hope to one day be able to overcome my issues and be at the same point you are now! Helps to know I’m not the only one who’s gone through this! This will definitely be a post I come back to when I’m struggling! Baby steps! Thanks soooo much Angela!
My disclaimer : Health = Happiness that cannot be found in a number. =)
I can relate to this on so many levels. I was once that girl who thought that I had to be a size 2. Guess what? I became a size 2 and I looked like a skeleton. It was terrible. Therefore, my disclaimer would read “You really are big-boned!”
Thank you for such a wonderful post!
wow what a great post!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom. My disclaimer would read “The numbers on the scale will change from time to time, but what’s more important is that you are kind to yourself and taking care of yourself by making healthy choices and being thankful for the body God has given you!”
Angela, I have been a long time reader (almost from the begining) and I seldom comment, for that I am sorry. But today I finally had to tell you how MUCH you continue to inspire me. You are one of the bloggers that just gets “it”. It’s not about how skinny you are…how much you weigh…or how much “cleaner” your diet is compared to the next girl. It’s about loving yourself and those around you, NOW…not after you lose 10 pounds…or after you fit into that size 2 your friend/sister/co-worker etc. is wearing. Thank you for Oh She Glows, the love you have for this site and your readers is apparent daily, and for that I am grateful.
Great post- my disclaimer would say, “Don’t let a number define you, you are infinity”
You always write on difficult topics such as this so eloquently and beautifully.
You make me want to be happy in my own skin! :)
My ‘Scale Disclaimer’ would read: “This scale can only measure your weight. It can never measure The beauty of your smile, The love in your life, The possibilities in your mind, and The warmth in your heart.
Like others have said, I loved this post too. My weight always stays about the same, which is a good thing for me because I have a medical condition in which losing lots of weight is a bad thing actually. When I weigh myself, I often think, “why doesn’t the scale budge?” My scale disclaimer would say, “you are healthy, happy and as long as you feel good in your clothes, the number on this scale does not mean a thing.”
As a side note, I went to the doctor today and they got me confused with another patient who was 205 lbs. The nurse asked if I lost a ton of weight recently and I exclaimed, “I have never been anywhere near 205 lbs. so no, I have not.” I was happy I have never been close to 200, but realized that maybe that patient they confused me with is happy with what she weighs and it is healthy for her height. I felt guilty for “judging” this other patient, but also thankful I have really never struggled with unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle.
Thanks for the great message and giveaway Angela!
Great post!
To me, my happy weight is when I am able to easily maintain my weight and feel comfortable in my own skin. I am still striving to get there so I use my scale. But my scale disclaimer would be to not let the numbers affect my day.
My scale disclaimer would read: Warning! Objects on scale are more beautiful than they appear.
My Scale Disclaimer: “This number is not a running tally of your food and fitness failures — ITS JUST A STUPID NUMBER!” (Scales DO lie!) :D
I should literally put this on my scale because I have such a hard time remembering it:
Scale Disclaimer: THIS NUMBER DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
I struggled a lot with weight issues in high school, when I had depression and eating disorder issues. After seeking professional help and going to college where I was busy all the time I started feeling a lot better about myself. Unfortunately, right now I have been unemployed for several months (I graduated in December) and the pressure of trying to find a job in a terrible economy has taken its toll on me and it’s been hard for me to keep from falling back into the obsessive tendencies I had in high school. Luckily, eating fresh food most of the time has kept me from poring over nutritional labels – I think I’m at a “happy weight” now, which means that as long as I know i’m eating healthy, whole foods most of the time, the weight I’m at is where it is supposed to be. My scale disclaimer would say “This number is only something a doctor writes down in his file, nothing more”
I am 39 years old and have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12. I am so far along compared to what I was once upon a time . . . many lifetimes ago. I now have a 7 year old daughter and I want to save her the pain I experienced. I want her to know she is beautiful and loved and loveable. So thank you. Thank you. Thank heavens for women like you and Caitlin and Kathy and Emily and all the other women bloggers who have found the courage in their voice and heart to be BOLD and BEAUTIFUL and PROUD. I am honored to be your sister in this plight for all of our daughters!!
My disclaimer would read: Kayley, God created you just as you are. You’re tiny boobs and cankles were all in the plan. The number…it means nothing. You are absolutely beautiful in every single way!
(Ahh, even typing that makes me feel good!)
WOW, what an amazing post…
my scale disclaimer would say “Prior to use, remember that God made you PERFECTLY. You are exactly as you should be, and that is beautiful.”
Disclaimer: This number doesn’t weigh as much as your personality.
Wow. You always give so much of yourself in your blog, but this post reached an all-time high. Remarkably powerful, personal, and poignant. I can only imagine the number of hearts you touched today!!!!
Way to go, Ange. Way to go, girl. {{hugs}}
I love your blog! I have been a reader your blog for sometime and it’s such an inspiration! I also have thrown the scale. Since my twins were born (10 years ago :) I decided to respect my body more and to love what I see and not worry about the number! It’s been a wonderful journey that continues everyday! Thanks again for your blog! ~ Take Care…
Great post!! I love the scale disclaimer!! I have never suffered from disordered eating, but I have definitely struggled with a negative body image in the last couple of years because of the number on the scale. We moved a couple of months ago, and the only box I haven’t unpacked yet is the one with the scale in it. I know it’s in there, but I deliberately didn’t get it out. I realized I can go along, exercising and taking care of myself, but if I get on the scale and the weight is the same (or *gasp* HIGHER)… it instantly ruins my happiness and mood. I decided it wasn’t worth it – if I feel good about myself and my body, why let a stupid number ruin that?!
I LOVE THIS POST…..very well written and oh so very true for so many individuals:) Well done!
The disclaimer would read: “There must be more to life than this”.
Such a great post! It is a hard change to make to experience life as the person you are NOW rather than saving life for when you are better, stronger, thinner, faster, etc. Thanks for being such an inspiration!
As far as a “happy weight”, I’d say it is whatever weight allows me to do the things I love to do, whether that is running, yoga, rock climbing, going out with friends, or just reading a good book.
What a touching post! I am definately going to be leaving some of those post-its around my town. We have to start loving ourselves from within!
Wow, awesome inspiring post Angela :) A happy weight for me is feeling comfortable and confidant in my own skin and not worrying about having any health problems due to being over weight.
What an inspiring post! I feel the same way about finding a “happy weight” all too often, and it really is a terrible cycle to go through. My scale disclaimer would say: “This number is just a number, and nothing more. It has nothing to do with your health and well-being.”
Like so many other people, I can really relate to this post. The scale disclaimer and the last words, “I am worth the fight. And so are you,” really spoke to me. That’s something I need to keep reminding myself. I’m working to lose some of the weight I gained in college and I’m definitely guilty of the “I’ll be happy with myself after I lose these 10lbs” mentality. It’s an up and down relationship and definitely still a struggle at times but I have been seeing a great improvement in my relationship with food (I struggled with binges in high school/college) and that in itself is reassuring.
This makes my heart ache…with empathy, with familiarity, and with HOPE. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding those that are struggling that it will take work and patience and a lot of self love, but it CAN be done.
I took over my happiness when I was 18.. Lost 100 pounds in three years and have kept it off for two more. My scale disclaimer would and now will say, “this number does not define you.” Having my weight being the definition of “WHO” I am was the hardest thing to overcome on my weight loss journey.
Cheers to a great post.
Wow, I read this post tonight wearing my “fat jeans” that are tighter than they were last week, and eating a taco bell burrito. (Can I be real here? haha) I have 2 young kids, and have been SO immersed in mom hood, I have been neglecting things that I love that make me “me.” I’ve been wanting to run for the last 3 weeks now, and haven’t made it happen. What I loved about this post was the ‘happiness factor.” The fact that you have the ability to choose to be happy. Even as a stay at home mom, you can put yourself and the things you love so far down on the list, you forget that it is a choice. Wow, now I’m getting choked up! I think my scale disclaimer would be:
The scale should not determine whether or not you are allowed to be happy today, or whether or not you believe it when others tell you that you are beautiful.
First I want to say that it has been over a week since I last weighed myself which as someone who used to weight myself religiously every day is an accomplishment (my next step is to actually take the scale out of my bathroom). Mine would say “you are beautiful just the way you are”
Hey Angie,
I read this post tonight in my ‘fat jeans’, eating a Taco Bell burrito. On top of not weighing what I normally would consider to be my ‘happy weight,’ these fat pants are feeling tighter this week than they were last. I am a mom of 2, and I have been noticing lately how much I put off and shy away from because I feel like I need to focus all that I have on my kids. I have been feeling like I don’t know myself so well lately. I really loved the saying “you can choose to be happy.” These last 3 weeks my house has been clean, and I’ve spent so much time with my kids it’s not even funny… but yet I’ve been irritable, and haven’t been enjoying it like I should. I know it’s a blessing, but I need to choose to be happy. :) I need to take the time to do the things I love, that make me me! This post was AWESOME! I’ve been following along quietly now for a while, but I had to get on board with this one. My scale disclaimer would read:
~I will tell you your weight, but I will forget to tell you the following:
~Your thighs are so much nicer now than they were 20 lbs ago!
~You no longer look like a fifteen year old boy… this is a good thing!
~You can run better now than you could in your skinnier days.
~ You look DAMN GOOD! Especially for having two kids!!
:) Ahhhh…. I feel better already!! Oh, and I forgot one….
~Young healthy women are beautiful…. but healthy moms are kinda HOT!
Keep the good times coming… this was my favorite post yet!
So I opened up the fridge the other night… and what do I find?!? VOO!!! My mom started following your blog and I didn’t even know it!! :) We both love your recipes!!!
Disclaimer:
– The number does not measure your worth
– If you are happy and healthy, this number means nothing
– Don’t let this number dictate what kind of day you have. Make every day great!
– Love from family, friends and yourself is not measured by the number on the scale!
This post is really wonderful, and I just spent 20 minutes reading through comments that are also wonderful.
My scale disclaimer would say, “These scales are not judge or jury and they don’t measure value.”
The number that appears when I step on the scale is…..well, just a number!! It does not begin to depict/describe my worth, my journey on being a better human being, my ability to help and nurture my clients with overcoming their speech and language impediments—> these are the qualities that ought to uplift me as opposed to the number that appears on the scale!!
And, happy weight is a being of homesotasis…..its a cycle wherein when i nourish my body with healthy foods, exercise, and rest….my body is at a weight that’s healthy for me!!
I am absolutely speechless. Well, other than to say this of course:
my scale disclaimer would read, “numbers will change and scales will eventually break, but your inner beauty will never fade.” actually, i would love to write a note on my stepdad’s scale. thanks for the inspiration!
xox,
mandiee
Thank you for such a lovely post. As I travel through my ED recovery I have found that your blog has helped me understand more clearly myself and what I deserve. Thank you for your reinforcing words that have touched me so much. I Love myself these days more than even when I was 10lbs lighter <3
I love this post and can relate to what you experienced in the past. I agree! Scales SHOULD come with warnings. No joke. What you wrote in your note is so profound. But what would mine include?
Something about only having 24 hours each day. I get to decide how each moment is spent. Removing clothing, jewelry, testing the scale several times during the day…how much time is wasted? It’s not worth it! Move on and break up with the scale, baby! You’ll be so much better off. :)
I am still trying to find my ‘happy weight’. After years of restricting and then bingeing, I had nothing but contempt for my body and my food choices. I hated myself and valued who I was based solely on how much I had eaten, or what the scales said. I weighed in everyday, and during my bingeing phase watching the number keep increasing was soul destroying. I lost confidence in a big way!
However, since finding blogs like yours I have been able to stop overeating and am now trying to eat when I am hungry and find balance. It is really hard and I still think I eat too much; this could be one of the stages of overcoming binge eating or it could just be my perception, who knows?! I now exercise for fun (which is something I never thought I would say!!), never weigh myself and don’t even think about calories. My focus is on trying to be the best version of myself that I can be, without anything having to be forced.
We often think life will be different in a smaller size. In reality it’s actually no different, and in many cases can even be worse!
what an amazingly important topic. my scale disclaimer would read: WARNING! this prodcust may cause low self esteem, bad body image, and overall poor health. for best results: DO NOT USE!
Thank you for this post!
My happy weight would be when I feel at peace with my body, don’t try on more than 1 outfit (okay, maybe 2 outfits) before I leave the house, and most importantly: feel enough self-worth to go out and accomplish my dreams.
I am not at a happy weight right now, but as you said– it is up to me to take the step toward a happier existence– this does not necessarily mean a change in my weight! This first step is attitude.
Your post definitely reminded me of this today. :)
Thank you so much for this post. It has given me a lot to think about!
My scale disclaimer would say “WARNING: No matter what this number is, you will never be happy with it. Why bother stepping on it at all?”
I struggled with an ED during the end of high school and beginning of college. (I’m 23 and have graduated now, for reference.) I got help, gained weight, and thought that was that. But since I started exercising with regularity six months ago, I have been losing weight. You’d think that would be a good thing, but I was 5’1″, 108 lbs. to begin with. I am now 98 lbs., and even though I feel happy that my body is finally smaller again I know in my heart that this is not my “happy weight.” I have to take a nap everyday because I’m so tired, obsess about calories like I used to, and my hair is falling out again.
My body is trying SO hard to tell me that it doesn’t want me to be at this weight, but I’m having a hard time listening. I like being thinner. I feel prettier. I like fitting into the new, smaller clothes I bought. Unfortunately, those things are coming at a price. My body is not what it used to be. It’s weaker. I know that. I’m just petrified to get to my body’s “happy weight” again.
My scale disclaimer would say:
“WARNING: This device can trick you into feeling badly about yourself. REMEMBER: No scale can measure how wonderful you are.”
I have been at a “happy weight” for the past 6 months, and I really have never been happier. I’ve learned to enjoy breakfast, cooking, and eating in general. And I’ve learned not to be obsessive about exercise, and to be kinder to myself. A happy weight for me means that I have energy and a zest for life. I have more energy to give to others as well, because I am not using it all up struggling with food/body image issues. I love not looking at the scale! : )
Scale disclaimer: The number on this scale reflects ALL of you, muscle, bone, tendons, blood, water, electrolytes, fat, the fiber in your gut!…ALL of you! Don’t base your life off the “number”. What matters is that you take care of yourself – not only the physical (which this scale reflects), but the emotional, mental, and spiritual. Only step on if you promise to admit your life is worth MUCH MORE than the number!
Your post really hit me, because every single experience you talked about with your disordered eating was an experience I went through, too. Every day I felt like there was no happiness, no hope. All I could think of was how much I had eaten. I was consumed by my need to be THIN, be “beautiful.” I thought that if I could drop those pounds, people would like me more, I would be happy and radiant and life would be perfect. I glorified my ideal weight!
Like you, it wasn’t after ditching the scale that I was able to start recovering. Now I judge my weight not by a number, but by how my clothes fit. I don’t deprive myself anymore. I can’t say I’m 100% better, but I can feel that every day, I learn to love my body for how it is, right now.
To me, a person’s “happy weight” is not about a number, but about a mindset. It is when that person can honestly say that they love their body, when they can look in the mirror and see inner beauty, not flaws.
My scale disclaimer would read: This number does not define your worth as a human being. How beautiful you are on the inside is not tied to the number on this screen.
awesome post! you are truly an inspiration :)
Late reply but I’ve been waiting to have the time to sit down and really read through everyone’s posts.
I hope you read this Angela because you are helping so many women. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now and not only do I look forward to your delicious recipes, and your funny posts, your beautiful pictures, your insights, and getting a glimpse into your peaceful and fun life, but for the first time in my life I’ve started feeling less guilty about enjoying food and not having to count every calorie and instead putting good wholesome food into my body.
I never used to even eat bananas and mangos or fresh juices because they were high in calories. It just seems so silly sometimes.
Sometimes I would forego activities with my fiance because going on a hike wouldn’t burn enough calories and I would go alone to the gym instead. After reading your blog and seeing you and Eric go on bike rides and runs together it made me realize that’s what really makes you happy and healthy!
I never even knew until I read this that’s what people mean when they say “I’m at my happy weight.” I thought your happy weight was what you wanted to get the scale down to.
It’s crazy how even 1 pound can affect the way I feel about myself – whether I’ve won or failed.
You are really making a difference. Thanks for helping me become a happier and healthier woman :)
Awesome post Angela!! My scale disclaimer would read; ‘You’ll need me to determine your goal and if you don’t set healthy boundaries as to how often you get on me I will become your life’. I do not: determine happiness, make you prettier or uglier, change your heart or make you smarter. I simply offer a rough outline of your progress.
A happy weight to me means enjoying getting up in the morning and being excited to eat breakfast and make healthy meals throughout the day without my thoughts being consumed by food and/or exercise. It means not planning my life around food. It means feeling confident and realizing no one else can be me and I need to live fully the body and life I have been given!
love this post!!!! :]
as for a scale disclaimer, i don’t have one. and i don’t think i need one, either. i will never go near a scale ever again! i suppose that’s its own disclaimer….
Just wanted to let you know that this was my all-time favorite post of yours! What a beautiful and important message. Thanks for sharing. It’s going up on my page under my favorites!
Such a beautiful post Angela. This has reassured me during my struggles that I can find my happy weight and truly be happy through and through one day.
Reading your words just made my chest clench up and my eyes fill with tears. I am in awe of your beautiful outlook and grateful to have read this post tonight.
That picture with the disclaimer is just… emotional. It IS a war, every day. Thanks for this, no wonder you have so many comments :)
xo
Wow, this totally hit home for me. At one point I’d lost 90 lbs. and went from 230 lbs. to 140 lbs. I thought I was a happy person at that point but truly I was not. It wasn’t until I continued training for triathlon and figured out that is where my happiness lied and not what the scale was telling me each day that I stepped on it. Like all of you, that number pretty much consumed me and I would become totally depressed and very unhappy with myself if I’d step on it and didn’t see what I expected it to be every time. I am now, I believe at a happy weight. I gained about 20 lbs. and I know that with the lifestyle I lead, it’s not about the number it’s about how I feel and if I want to have some sweets or a drink and my pants are a bit too tight, so be it. Not as big of a deal for me anymore.
Thanks Angela for writing a great blog on this subject. I’m going to get Operation Beautiful from Amazon. I’ve been absent these few days from reading your blog and let me tell you reading your blogs makes me happier than almost anything. You always seem to put a smile on my face!!!
What an amazing post! I just hopped over here from the couch potato athlete’s blog and I am so glad I did. I can’t wait to get this book! You have such a positive outlook, I really enjoyed reading your blog. And guess what, I ditched the scale a long time ago!!! Looking forward to following you! Thank you!
Beautiful post. It made me tear up a little bit!
Thanks for those words from the heart, Angela.
rhonda
Perfection in a post!
I was wondering, what do you recommend substituting for chia seeds? I’ve never heard of them and only have walnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds on hand. Would these work and how much should I put in your vegan overnight oats recipe?
Thanks a lot and keep posting, I read ten times a day and love your blog!
xxo
This post was truly beautiful. I, myself have dealt with an eating disorder, and still am…currently in recovery..and I’ve found your website extremely helpful with getting my eating habits back on track! I’m being healthier and feel so much better about myself. & reading this post brought me to tears..I shared the disclaimer picture with a couple of my friends who also suffer with an ED, so inspiring <3
That was a great post to read. Im recovering from an eating disorder myself and for me I dont even know what a Happy Weight would be anymore because ive been so unhappy with my weight for so long. The scale has really dictated my way of life and how much I should and shouldnt eat for so long. Its been so hard to try and find that happy medium to be happy with myself and not hate myself so much for maybe enjoying food. Ive been working so hard to overcome this battle of an ED, but it def gets the best of me. So when I read your post it def touched me and it also makes me want to fight a little harder to want to get better, but most of all it helps to know sometimes that im not alone in the awful fight. So I Thank you!!!!!
Hello Angela,
Thank you so much for this post. I am currently struggling to overcome anorexia nervosa. You are an inspiration for me, and a light to show that I can beat this thing. Thank you so much Angela.