Are You Kinder To Yourself As You Age?

by Angela (Oh She Glows) on May 12, 2010

Top of the mornin’ to ya!

The other night when I made the Coconut Red Lentil Soup, I reserved 1/3 cup of the coconut milk so I could use it in my Vegan Overnight Oats. I love coconut milk because it is basically like a vegan form of cream. It makes anything it touches rich and creamy tasting.

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I tried light coconut milk instead of the usual regular full-fat stuff I usually buy. I wanted to compare the two and see how different they were. The light version was more watery, but I had high hopes that it would still be fabulous in my VOO. It has 35 calories for 1/4 cup vs. 140 calories per 1/4 cup in the non-light stuff. A good alternative when you want to use a larger quantity of it, however I still think I prefer the regular coconut milk for soups, stews, etc.

I also added another exciting ingredient to this mix

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Carob powder = love.

Carob facts:

  • 1 tbsp has around 20 calories and 2 grams of fibre
  • Up to 8% protein
  • Vitamins A, B, B2, B3 and D
  • High in calcium, phosphorus, potassium and magnesium
  • Contains Iron, manganese, barium, copper and nickel


[Canadians- you can purchase carob powder at Bulk Barn!]

The key to mixing the VOO is to use a whisk! Makes the wet + dry blend so much faster and gets the clumps out.


Carob Banana Soft Serve Vegan Overnight Oats

IMG_6861 (2)


  • 1/3 cup regular oats
  • 1/3 cup light coconut milk
  • 1/3 cup + 1/4 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp Amazing Grass Amazing Meal Chocolate Protein Powder
  • 1 tbsp carob powder
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds


Directions: Mix dry ingredients together and then pour wet ingredients over top. Whisk and place in fridge overnight. In the morning, make the banana soft serve in the food processor. Layer in a small glass and use any topping that tickles your fancy!


I like cacao nibs because they give it a nice crunch.

IMG_6854 (2)

Ahhhhh-mazing. I really liked the carob in this mix!!


My mother in law is here today and she saw it and exclaimed, ‘WOW what is that!? :biggrin: I told her about the vegan overnight oats, and I don’t think she was sold.

Are you kinder to yourself as you age?

“I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude; life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves – or life – to be perfect, which is a real relief.” ~Molly Ivins, writer

I have found that as I get older I realize that perfection is not only something that is not attainable, but it isn’t even something I want in my life anymore. I am learning to embrace the non-perfect aspects of my life. Beating my eating disorder was a huge part in allowing myself to mess up and take risks…to fail…to go against what others expected of me…and to realize that my life would be much happier if I did not expect perfection.

When we lost our family friend Chris to cancer (who was the same age as Eric), it made me realize how precious life is and how much I had been taking each day for granted. I vowed to create happiness in my life, no matter how difficult it might be. I will be turning 27 on Sunday, and I can say that I look forward to each year and discovering a bit more about myself and the world around me.

Today’s question- Do you find that you are easier on yourself now as compared to 5 years ago? have you had any life experiences that have taught you to be better to yourself?

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

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zoe May 12, 2010 at 11:07 am

CAROB!!!! ahhh i loveloveLOVE carob. so tasty in vegan over night oats, too :)

and as for the kindness question…it comes and goes. some days i am ridiculously too hard on myself and other days i am incredibly positive and forgiving. i am about a million and three times more positive then i was five years ago, though. it must come for life experience and aging. you appreciate different things during different parts of your life. really though it’s just about feeling comfortable in your own skin and totally appreciating the life you have and all your body and mind can do for yourself. i try to remind myself of how precious life is, too, and how trivial things like perfection are in the scheme of life (plus, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to achieve perfection anyway :p!) and what a waste of energy it is being so down on yourself ALL THE TIME :)!


Steph (@MediterraneanMiss) May 12, 2010 at 11:11 am

Beautiful glass girl! This looks wonderful. I love subbing coconut milk in for almond milk to give myself a bit of a treat :)

I think that I’ve come a long way in the past five years. I was at a very good place when I was 16, but between then and now I’ve definitely sunk to my lowest low, and recovered to my highest ‘high’ personally, academically, psychologically (take that, ED) and emotionally (I am so blessed <3).

Posts like these are great.. thank you for the opportunity to reflect.


Christine @ Grub, Sweat and Cheers May 12, 2010 at 11:12 am

Getting older is a funny old thing. While I’m still working on embracing all aspects of myself I think the biggest advance I’ve made in recent years is learning to be kind and to trust myself.


Cara May 12, 2010 at 11:35 am

Had my VOO for breakfast this morning and added maple peanutbutter and some Crofters Jam. YUM!

I think I’m easier on myself in a lot of aspects. I feel a lot more comfortable with who I am at this point in my life, so the small things (like getting a pimple/gaining a pound or two/making mistakes/etc) don’t bug me so much anymore. I think as we see how choices affect our lives and the lives of others as we age, it becomes easier to make good choices and feel good about them. Eating healthy or committing to excercise used to get me lots of jabs from friends in high school/college, and while I kept it up, those comments still made me feel different than everyone else. At this point, I’m at a healthy weight, feel good physically and otherwise, and some of those people don’t. A few of them are even coming around to the “green” side as we get closer and closer to 30 :).


Kirsten May 12, 2010 at 11:35 am

Over the years I think I have gotten easier on myself, but at times I think I am still pretty hard on me. I’m mainly hard on myself with the things I thought I would have ‘accomplished’ by this age (marriage, babies, etc). I need to still remind myself that everyone has their own paths in life :)

PS: I have tried the light coconut milk as well – think I prefer the full fat stuff because of the richness it gives :)


Rabbit Runner May 12, 2010 at 11:54 am

I think this is a really great post because I think its true. While I am only in high school, I really do notice a difference between kids my age, who strive to be perfect in every sense even if it means giving up things that make them happy, compared to the adults I am surrounded with who only care about being happy.


Katie May 12, 2010 at 12:01 pm

I’m much nicer to myself now than even 2 years ago. At the end of college I put so much pressure on myself to take the “perfect path.” I was worried that if I went to school but it wasn’t really the “perfect” choice my whole life would be thrown off course. What would other people think? And what would I think of myself!? After some panic attacks and finally talking to people about the pressure rather than internalizing it all, I calmed down a bit. Though everyone told me this, it took awhile to learn it and believe it myself! I now realize that the first out-of-college job or school will teach you lessons but not be your end all and be all. Tons of people never find one and only one career path (or any other kind of life path).


Retta @ RunRettaRun May 12, 2010 at 12:03 pm

I am much kinder to myself (and people!) now that I’m in my 30s. I was such a hag to myself in my 20s and regret it so much! I also used to worry so much about what people thought of me and now, it’s like “EH”.


Emily May 12, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Hey Angela! You have most definitely taken overnight oats to the next level. Banana softserve just puts it over the top. :)

I am most definitely kinder to myself as I get older. I have stopped focusing on my faults (as much) and definitely focus on giving my body what it needs.


liane May 12, 2010 at 12:15 pm

I would like to say that I’m easier on myself, but in reality, I’m still hard on myself in some areas, and more forgiving in others.


Erin at The Healthy Apron May 12, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I loved this post. I think it’s so important to appreciate the body you have, cherish it and nourish it. Stop being so mean to it! 5 years ago I tormented my body with food restriction and obsessive exercise, today I have come so far. I have learned that my body will never be “perfect” and that I am “perfect” just the way I am. I also learned that I don’t have to exercise 24/7 to maintain my weight. Now I am working out 3-5 days a week for 30-60 minutes. It is so much more enjoyable and now I actually look forward to exercise. I love myself more now than 5 years ago!! ps. happy early bday!


Twisted Chicken May 12, 2010 at 12:28 pm

I am so much harder on myself now than I was at younger ages. I have a dialogue running through my head most of the time saying things like “you’re 40 now, how long will it take before you get it right” or “a 40-year-old should not behave this way” or “you’re too old to still be doing this.” I’m still learning how to get out of my 26 year battle with disordered eating and I just can’t seem to understand how a 40-year-old, intelligent, successful person can continue the destructive eating behaviors for so long. I should have learned. I should be better. I should know how to overcome the demons. I don’t. I can’t understand it and since I have been dealing with it for so many years I feel like I should be able to understand it. For this reason, I am harder on myself now that when I was younger.


Jil @ Peace, Love & Munchies May 12, 2010 at 12:32 pm

I think I’m nicer to myself nowadays. Time has taught me that perfection is just not possible so don’t beat myself up over stuff if it doesn’t go the way I wanted. I love your overnight oats…they seriously look like a dessert. Nothing better. :)


Veggielady4life May 12, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I do feel that as I get older… I embrace moderation and balance more every year. I don’t think perfectionism is something we necessarily grow out of, though… I think instead we learn to acknowledge it… sit with it… and then let it go…

Automatic thinking is the crux of perfectionism gone awry… we fail at something… suddenly start thinking of all the other imperfections in our life… and make a mountain of a molehill… often sending us into a very unhealthy downward spiral…

As we age… I know for myself in particular… I notice this line of thinking much faster than I did when I was younger… and I choose to stop it.

I think that helps me not be so hard on myself. I can acknowledge a simple mistake or failure without labeling myself as all bad. It’s just one incident in an otherwise good day.

So anywhoo… all that being said… I do find it easier to be kinder to myself… as time passes… which is a wonderful, wonderful thing…

By the way… I’m a longtime reader… and I’m a little late in saying it… but I love your new format… :grin:


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Thank you!


Tina May 12, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I definitely think we get kinder to ourselves as we get older. As you mentioned, things that happen in our lives just put things into perspective as we age and its a natural process to be kinder from it.

I do think however that we always have room to be more kind to ourselves. Even when we’re 60 we will probably still feel twinges of failure, disappointment, or negativity in ourselves. We can fight it and grow, but sadly I doubt we will ever fully be kind to ourselves.


Claire May 12, 2010 at 1:11 pm

I feel like I am kinder to myself in terms of my self worth and not striving for perfection but in other ways I am tougher (work). I didn’t push myself as hard in my teen years and know I could have done better back then in school ( I still had good grades, just didn’t care too much). I think we also get our priorities in check as we age. Yesterday I made nut butter parsnip and carrot fries and this morning I made vegan overnight oats (haven’t posted this morning yet!). Have a great day with the M-I-L!


Rachel May 12, 2010 at 1:12 pm

I actually have always been pretty kind to myself. That all changed a few years ago when I started getting involved with weight loss and healthy living.

I lost the weight, but gained all kinds of guilt issues and self-esteem problems all around food.

I’m working on repairing now!


Corinne (breathe and savor) May 12, 2010 at 1:27 pm

I am kinder to myself now, but it was not always like that! It took a lot of soul searching to get to where I am now. If only I knew what I know now when I was younger :) But we all know it doesn’t work that way. I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t for my eating disorder many years ago, my struggles with my weight and happiness. I have learned to repair and love myself and that has strengthened me immensely. Life teaches us so much…but we have to want to LEARN! I know now that I am “awake” I will only see and learn more. If we are not nice to ourselves, who will be? :) thanks for this beautiful post Angela and all you do!


Ana May 12, 2010 at 1:40 pm

I am definitely nicer and kinder and easier on myself now than five years ago, that is for sure!
What it feels like to me is that I understand myself more now, so I am able to accept who I am and how I am, my weakness and my strengths. And it seems like the more you discover yourself the better you treat yourself, in all aspects.
In the past few years I learned to go along with my rhythm, to not be mad at myself for little things, I learned that taking a deep breath and working with my issues is the best way to grow inside and out. Now I am much more aware of my mind and body, how I react to a bunch of different things/situations, and I think that I am happier than ever now, a lot more than 5 years ago.
I am only 31, so I am glad to know that going into my 30’s was the best thing that could happen to me, I would not trade being 30 for being 20 at all.
I am learning to make the “good times” to be right now!


Brittany May 12, 2010 at 1:55 pm

That is something hard to learn but being kinder to yourself allows so many great things to enter your life that you would not have noticed before. I have been kind to myself over the last year and love it!


Danielle @ Body By Nature May 12, 2010 at 2:28 pm

I’m far more forgiving of myself then I use to be but sometimes it’s still a struggle. But the older I get the more I learn to have some prespective and not worry so much about the ‘small stuff.’


Judy May 12, 2010 at 3:00 pm

I am definately more kinder towards myself that I used to be. I have also realized that it is more about the journey than the destination.
I get severe headaches from chocolate and do not eat it. I was wondering if carob is different. Does anyone know?
Angela, I really like the re-design of your site. The ‘quotes’ section is a great idea. Words can be so powerful.
Happy Birthday Angela!!


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Thank you!

I know carob powder is caffeine free, but Im not sure if that would be causing your headaches? Its worth a shot possibly!


Judy May 13, 2010 at 5:26 am

Thank you. I will give it a try!


kellyO May 12, 2010 at 3:13 pm

I am much easier on myself now. At 46 years old I realize life is just too short to let society or anyone dictate what/who I should be.


Megan @ Sweet On May 12, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I am much easier on myself now, at 24, than I ever have been before, and I can tell it will be a lifelong process. Part of that I think comes from entering adulthood and finding out it’s much different than what you imagined as a child. Where you thought you would be at a certain age, what it feels like to be a certain age, coming to terms with different concepts of success, progress etc. Once you realize that it’s all okay, everyone is their own person, and you are awesome the way you are, it’s all so much easier! But getting to that point is not necessarily easy…

I also view life as much more precious than I ever did before. Living in Germany has made me realize I want to be closer to my family and friends and really enjoy and appreciate them while I have them. :)


Kristin (Cook, Bake and Nibble) May 12, 2010 at 5:09 pm

I am totally kinder to myself now that I am older. Five years ago I wasn’t eating enough, I was exercising too much, I wasn’t sleeping enough, I was binge eating and drinking on the weekends… so yeah, MUCH better now! I think that whole experience, and the fact that I was SO hard on myself then… and so much happier when I am not as hard on myself now, has made me much kinder to myself :)



Susan May 12, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I’m not just kinder to myself and my body, but I also demand more respect from others. Five years ago, I would take shit from just about anyone. Now I either stick up for myself or let it slide off my back because it’s not worth getting in a tizzy about. I’m VERY non-confrontational, but sometimes I feel like I just deserve to be treated better – something I never thought as a teenager!


Monique May 12, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Where did you get that trumpet glass??? I’ve been looking for some like that FOREVER but can’t seem to find the right ones :)

I would love to know!


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm

They were a wedding gift I think…let me see if I can find a brand name or something on it!


Jolene ( May 12, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Absolutely! I am much easier on myself as I get older … I have learned to love myself, and to be confident, and to just be myself. If there is anything good about getting older … this is it!


Triathlonbabe May 13, 2010 at 10:03 am

I love all 3 products in the initial pic and what all they can create. Sorry I’m late in replying to your blogs. I’ve been so busy with work, that I haven’t had the opportunity to have a life which includes visiting my blogging cyber friends.

I have learned to become a bit more lenient with myself as I have gotten into my 40’s. When I was in my 30’s that was when I had all the weight struggles is when I was so critical and insecure of my self inside and out. Granted, I still struggle somewhat but I’m not so hard on myself anymore. If I miss a workout, oh well, there’s always tomorrow. If I have Grey Goose Dirty Martini or 2, oh well, just have to work out doubly hard, but maybe not. I can remember a time, I would completely overwhelm myself with bad negative talk because the guilt would eat me up….NOT ANYMORE! :)


Kris May 13, 2010 at 12:45 pm

I have to agree with Jane that pressures on women as we age are tremendous. Our society is geared to those young and beautiful, and even if we don’t have to buy into that idea, it’s hard to completely ignore. Much easier to say when you are young and beautiful than when you are facing the realities of middle age. At 52 I’m in great shape and try to live a healthy lifestyle, but it takes a lot of work. Most of it enjoyable but older bodies are not as forgiving. But I am much more apt to laugh at mishaps and pick myself back up then was I was younger. Yet, I’m much harder on myself now than when I was younger.


Jenn May 15, 2010 at 1:48 am

Great job on being featured on!


Sarah May 15, 2010 at 11:08 am

Well done for getting featured on – way to go girl!


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