The Debate

by Angela (Oh She Glows) on May 5, 2010


Ok, this is just getting creepy now!!

Last night Eric and I went on our first Brick workout and look what we came across…

Harold’s brother!


Why have I not noticed these before?! Is my town just really creepy or something? lol.

We went on a beautiful 5 mile sunset bike ride! Half on the roads and half on the trails.


My partner in crime…


It was a great first leg of the workout!

  • Distance: 4.98 miles
  • Time: 35:27 mins
  • Avg speed: 8.4 mph
  • Max Speed: 15.9 mph
  • Ascent (total climb): 380 feet

Eric pointed out a very hardcore looking grease mark on my leg when we were finished.


Just a battle wound… ;)

And then the unthinkable happened…

I got my man to run!!!!!!

Doesn’t his face scream thrilled? :mrgreen:


Let me put this into context for you a little so you can understand my excitement for him to be running.

Eric has told me numerous times that he will NEVER RUN and he will never start running with me. I think in the 10 years we have been together we have been on 2 runs together total (and I’m not quite sure how those 2 runs ever happened, I think I dreamed them up…) I used to beg him to go running with me and I think that pushed him away even more.

I said to Eric at the beginning of this run- ‘You call the shots. If you want to stop, just let me know.’

We started running, and get this, he blew me out of the water! (err…off the road?)

I had such a hard time keeping up with him! Remember- his long, gazelle-like legs (he is 6 foot 2!) Well, those gazelle legs are fast let me tell you. He had to slow down for ME! It was a hoot!

He was like, ‘Wow I feel like I have to take such short strides.’ Normally a piece of me would have died inside with that comment, but I put my ego aside because I was just so thrilled that he was running beside me. ;)

He ran 2.5 k/1.55 m virtually effortlessly. We clocked in at 14:29 minutes. I said, ‘Wow I think I am more out of breath than you are.’ And he said, ‘Bigger lungs’ :mrgreen: Not only is he a natural, but he’s also modest!

The run:

Distance: 2.5k/1.55 miles

Time: 14:29 mins

Pace: 9:21 min/mile

Ascent: 189 feet

My motto is to kill em with kindness. I think one of the keys to encouraging people to workout is to flood them with praise and compliments. By the end of the run, I think Eric was feeling really proud and he maybe started to realize that he can do this…try-a-tri after all?

The Try-a-tri debate:

Now we are also having a little debate about our try-a-tri!

I have told Eric from the beginning that I want to do the try-a-tri by his side the entire event. I want to swim beside him, I want to bike with him, and I want to hold his hand crossing the finish line (I’m a sap like that).

However, my husband wants me to ‘go on ahead’ and do my absolute best, even if this means leaving him behind along the way. He doesn’t want to hold me back, he said.

We are having this little debate! I still would like to be by his side. I think it would make the experience more special, and to be quite honest, I don’t think he will be holding me back at all! I think he is capable of much more than he gives himself credit for, and if anything, I might have a hard time keeping up with him!

My questions to you tonight- What would you do in our situation? Have you ever trained for and competed in a race with a friend, family member, or significant other? Did you stick together or part ways?


Ta-ta mes amies! :) Going to get back to work. Eric and I are off for a late-night swim at 9pm tonight…hopefully I can sleep! See you for a late-night post…might be a 1,000 words, not sure yet. :)

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

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Stacey May 5, 2010 at 3:31 pm

I see both sides of the debate. Doing it and finishing together is great for hte marriage. But finishing doining the best you can would also be good for you and make him really proud of you.


Jaya May 5, 2010 at 3:33 pm

That’s definitely a debate-worthy conversation! I will say this – it might be too early to make that decision since (and take this in a gender-equality and completely charitable spirit) it is always possible that by triathlon time, Eric might be excelling in biking or swimming. The thing about a tri is that everyone has a different strength, so even though you might plan to race on your own, you could end up meeting up at some point of one of you has a better swim vs. bike vs. run. My partner and I have raced both, together and apart. We usually make the call on the spot, depending on how things are going. Interesting comments!


Lisa May 5, 2010 at 3:34 pm

My BF and are riding Reach the Beach in 10 days. He’s doing the first 50 miles solo, then meeting me at the 55 mile start and we’re going to ride the rest of the route together (another 50 miles). We’ve been training together for it. It has brought us closer I think. I have enjoyed all the training time together too. We haven’t discussed yet what to do if one person is too slow. Guess what we’ll be talking about tonight? :)


Claudia May 5, 2010 at 3:37 pm

Good question! I don’t have too much experience – only tried one race (running a half) with my husband. He is a much faster runner than me though, so he was up ahead. Just knowing he was doing it with me though was a big encouragement!

We’re doing our first try-a-tri here in Ottawa in a few weeks, and we haven’t actually thought about how we would do it – I will bring up your idea to do it together! Even though he’s a faster runner, we are more even in the swimming and biking. But I think it comes down to pace – if you are both fairly similar, I would definately try to do it together – if not, you can still get lots of satisfaction out of being part of the race together.

On a related note, for the tri that I’m doing, I got this link in an email today, and thought I’d share:

Happy training!


Nasim May 5, 2010 at 3:38 pm

I’m a race whore! I love running races…mainly running as well as some triathlons. I’ve done races where I’ve tried to acheive a personal best and I’ve done races where I’ve paced a friend along. If you are doing this triathlon for the experience of it then I think you should do it alongside your hubby…it will make it more memorable. You can encourage one another which help a lot! Also, you will have other opportunites to do races on your own.
But if you are doing to acheive a certain time or see how well you can do…then do it on your own. You can cheer him on at the finish line!


Michelle May 5, 2010 at 3:40 pm

Hmmm… maybe tell him to be honest with you during the race and to keep quiet if he wants you with him, or tell you to go ahead if he would feel more comfortable? Originally I was thinking I would stay with my husband if he ever did any kind of race (he’s not into this kind of activity :( ). But then I thought about when I run with my cousin, who is a lot faster than me. We always start together, and I help pace her from going out too fast and she pushes me to go a little faster. When I decide I would be more comfortable/less embarrassed running slower and alone, I tell her to go ahead without me. It works for us, but I would ask Eric what he wants! :) I’m so excited for you guys, it looks like you’re having so much fun training together!


Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter May 5, 2010 at 3:48 pm

I did a 5K with my guy friend who has never ran more than a mile in his life. Once the race began I just saw the back of his shirt disappear into the horizon line. :(


kim May 5, 2010 at 3:57 pm

I don’t think this will work for a triathlon. Every open swim tri I’ve ever seen/done had waves for the start. Women and men, even of the same age group, are not in the same wave. There could be 5 minutes or 60 minutes between your starts. I think you should go in planning to do it alone.


Katalina May 5, 2010 at 4:07 pm

Dear Angela,

this is an interesting debate, but I think you have the answer inside of you, yes you do, you have to decide and understand why you want to do it: 1. For fun and let say love, to be near your husband in his first experience with such kind of events! or 2. for adrenaline, which means that you have to go at your best! :) so what I can say?! there will a lot of races in your future, but if I were you, I will benefit and live at full the moment, when I will take my husband hand at the finish line!!!


Jill Will Run May 5, 2010 at 4:12 pm

I think that it’s always good to have a mutual understanding that one person can finish before the other if needed.

I trained to do a marathon with my mom. (We followed the same training plan, even though we lived in different states.) Then on race day she could tell I was ready to move ahead of her and she told me to go ahead and she’d see me at the finish line. And now that’s one of our favorite things in races, cheering each other on as we each do our best we can.


Lisa (bakebikeblog) May 5, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Mr BBB and I competed in one triathlon together. As the men started in a swim wave before the females, we werent able to swim together. But we had racked our bikes next to each other in transition and I caught up with him there. He beat me on the bike leg, but I caught him on the run leg. We were able to run together for about half the run, then he waved me on ahead :) So we kind of had the best of bothe worlds :)


The Linz May 5, 2010 at 4:28 pm

I love the idea of you both running it together the first time. I can understand the whole not wanting to hold him back or him hold you back thing, but maybe the first time you can do this together. And then do your second one for yourself.

I am training for my first marathon with my best friend and we are at different levels of training but I can’t imagine doing the first one by myself. We will need to motivate eachother when it gets tough. And since this is my first I am looking at it as more of a trial run. My second (if I decide to do another) would be my time to try and beat my first one on time.


Camille May 5, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I finally got my boyfriend to agree to do a 5k with me!
So excited!


Andrea May 5, 2010 at 5:02 pm

My partner Zac and I run our longer races together–1/2 marathons and marathons. The shorter races, we go at our own pace (he’s much faster than I am) but for the longer distances, it’s nice to have a buddy with whom to chat.


Amy @ Everything is Homemade May 5, 2010 at 5:14 pm

I am a runner and my husband is not. But last fall I convinced him to do a half-marathon. We did all our training together for 14 weeks. At the race we stuck together the entire time even though I’m faster than he is and could’ve gone ahead. I was so thrilled that he agreed to do the run that I wanted to be by his side when he finished. It was really fun to encourage each other the whole time and we finished really strong.

Since then we’ve done some 5k’s and 10k’s and we ran them separately. But I thought that first time running together was really special.


Sammy May 5, 2010 at 5:17 pm

I think you have to do what is in your heart. I first started running when I got inspired by my best friend, who just completed her first half marathon. Every time we run together, she runs right alongside me and lets me set the pace. If I walk, she walks. If she knows I’m not pushing myself hard enough, she grabs my hand and pulls me along. Sometimes I feel like I hold her back, but she is always huffing and puffing, too, or at least pretending to. :) She ran my first 5k with me even though she was really sick and crossed the finish line by my side. She is a tremendously supportive friend and I don’t know if I would still be running if it weren’t for her. That being said, we are going to run a half together in September, but I am going to definitely encourage her to run her own race– I think she needs to do that for her, considering my main goal is just to finish! Since you are the racer in your house, it’s up to you and I’m sure he will understand either way, but if you want to stay with your husband during the race, I know from experience how much he will love you for it. :)


Nicole @ Making Good Choices May 5, 2010 at 5:41 pm

This is so funny to me! When my husband and I first started dating 7 years ago he was the SAME way…he would go on walks with me but NEVER ever run. Finally I broke him down 2 years ago and now he goes with me on the weekends and even sometimes during the week. I am the same way with races, I would rather cross it next to him, which is kind of why I haven’t done a half marathon, I don’t want to do it myself. I say do it together I agree with you totally! :)


Allison @ Food For Healing May 5, 2010 at 6:05 pm

being your first Tri ever, in my opinion, i would stick together the whole time. If you were ever to do another one then i think that would be the time to where it’d be okay to split up. The first one i think would be the hardest, since you’re so new to it, it would be nice to have the support and motivation right beside you the entire time. Thats what I think!


Carla in Sydney May 5, 2010 at 6:26 pm

My boyfriend and I always go in fun runs/half marathons together but run completely seperately. He is much faster than I am so it wouldn’t be fair to either of us if we stuck together – Either I would feel really puffed out and struggling or he would not be working to his full potential. In all honesty, I couldn’t keep up with him if my life depended on it anyway! ;-) We still get to hang out together after the events and talk about the course, etc which is really cool. I also like that he waits at the finish line (most times) to cheer me across the line.


Lily @ Lily's Health Pad May 5, 2010 at 6:53 pm

I always have to twist Stephen’s leg to get him out the door to run with me. But once he’s out there, he smokes me! Every time.


Marilyn @ Lipgloss and Spandex May 5, 2010 at 8:28 pm

That’s really cool that Eric ran with you! :)

My first race was the only race that I finished with someone, and my best friend was kind enough to walk with me since it was my first half marathon and I hadn’t trained at all. I’m really lucky to run with a group of gals who are really easy going. We carpool over together, then find our spots according to pace and just see each other at the finish line. And we go out for drinks and lunch afterwards, so we still get to enjoy each others’ company :)


Meg May 5, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Thanks for posting the link to my overnight oats!

With regards to your little debate…I’ve only done one race with my dad before, it was a 10km and we stuck together the whole way. It was my first race ever and I liked how my dad stuck with me the whole time, it made me feel more comfortable. Even though I didn’t care if he went ahead, it was nice that he decided to stick with me. If I were in your shoes, I would stick with your husband the whole time, as it’s both your first time and doing it together and being able to motivate one another would be pretty awesome!


Lizzie May 5, 2010 at 8:44 pm

My husband and I have run some races together. He’s a former x-country runner getting back into it, so I know I’m in for some competition, but I find it’s fun no matter who gets ahead – the best part is afterwards when we get to relax, enjoy post-race festivities. However I do remember when he first got me into running on the track near his apartment – I got my butt kicked!! :)


Lizz @ leadingthegoodlife May 5, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Thanks for your comment about setting your ego aside to support someone else…I really needed that tonight!!


Morgan @ Healthy Happy Place May 5, 2010 at 9:43 pm

I have been trying for years to get my fiance to exercise…even if it’s not with me!! I really haven’t had much luck at all. Maybe if I stop nagging him, he’ll do it. Considering I’m a personal trainer, I wish he’d hop on the fitness bandwagon!!


sarah May 5, 2010 at 9:55 pm

I would opt for the together option, all the way! First, it would be way more significant in terms of “we did this together” if you actually did it together. Second, competition isn’t everything. The more important part of this is that you are both doing something new, together, and you are bonding over it. Third, would you really kick yourself if you went a little slower just to stay with him? (and hey, he is a natural, perhaps he could beat you! ;-) To me, the point of a short triathlon like this is to see how you like the EVENT, not to see if you can beat everyone around you. You’ll probably finish in the middle of the pack, and have a blast doing it!


Amber K May 5, 2010 at 9:56 pm

My husband and I have a hard time running with one another. He has to take very short strides while I try to elongate mine to try to keep up! It probably has something to do with the fact that I am 5’4” barely and he is 6’8”


Jolene May 5, 2010 at 11:10 pm

I just told 2 people today that my motto is “kill em with kindness” … but it was regarding something different :-)

Good motto!

I say you each do your best, that way you can be there to cheer him on as he runs through the finish line which I think is even better than crossing it with him.


Wei-Wei May 5, 2010 at 11:40 pm

I actually think you should do it apart. I mean, it’s your first triathlon and I understand if you’d want to do it together, but you might want to think about how it might affect your results… If you continue and do more triathlons in the future you’d want to look back and see your progress!

Hahaha I’m so jealous of natural runners. :P Have fun at your swim! :)



Becky May 6, 2010 at 6:15 am

Interesting debate. My boyfriend and I ran our first 1/2 marathon last weekend. I’ve been running much longer than him and he pushed me to go ahead without him. We decided that before race day and it was the right decision for us. We were both able to meet our goals and feel great about the race without any guilt or regret. Have fun!


Paige (Two Runners And A Brown Dog) May 6, 2010 at 6:48 am

I can see it from your husband’s point of view. I really like to run/race by myself, because the feeling that I might hold the other person back causes a lot of stress and anxiety. It is much more enjoyable (for the less experienced or slower person) when we can just stick to our own pace and not have to worry about keeping up with anyone else.


Sophie @ yumventures May 6, 2010 at 8:21 am

I think its good to set a goal ahead of time. You can train together and then both try to do your best, or make it a team effort and stick together. One person will have to slow down a bit, but thats ok if you plan for it ahead of time! Its so great you guys are training together, either way!


Mary @ What's Cookin' with Mary May 6, 2010 at 11:08 am

Ihad a similar experience… I had been riding my bike for about a year when my husband decided he wanted to start riding with me. I was riding 5 days a week and felt like I was in pretty good shape… his first day out, it was all i could do to try and keep up with him! I had to ask him to slow down. ;P


Jane May 6, 2010 at 11:16 am

Don’t tell your hubby this but I decided to do a triathelon this summer Aug 29….I fiqured if your husband could do so could I. :)


Mo May 6, 2010 at 12:14 pm

This question is perfectly timed as I am in this type of situation right now.
My husband has joined me in races and that means that I have to slow my pace and walk quite frequently. I signed up for a 1/2 in the Fall and thought that he would not want to participate… well, he does. So that means that I will not get to make it what I had intended, an adventure in athleticism for myself. Instead, it will be us doing something together. I have mixed feelings about this as it was a goal that I had for myself. So I think that I will have to pick races and tell him that I am doing this one alone, but then we can do this one together, etc, etc. I need to make a plan for this!

In my humble opinion, I think that you are correct that you should stay with Eric and hold hands as you cross the finish line. Imagine yourself in 20 years looking back….. which finish will bring you more joy? That tells you what you should do.


Susan May 7, 2010 at 10:19 am

Okay, so my first reaction was to do it together, hold hands, and all that other sappy crap :P But after reading through the comments, I think I’ve changed my mind! It’s one thing to run or bike a race together, but triathlons are a different animal. You’ve got to get through three different sports and two transitions. That’s a lot of opportunities to have to wait, or get messed up. I now say do your own thing. I think training together is more important than finishing together anyways :)


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