Yesterday was a bad day.
I tried really hard to make it a better day, but I felt like I was at odds with the universe.
I was in a real funk in the morning, so around noon I decided to hit up the gym because I knew that would make me feel better. And it did. After 50 mins of sweating on the elliptical I felt like a new woman. Unfortunately, that only lasted a couple hours and I was in my funk again.
I had a lot of my mind yesterday. I tried so hard all day long to just see the bright side of things, but I just couldn’t. I decided to be productive anyways, so I worked on my orders and tried to distract myself for a while.
Well, the day just seemed to get worse and worse. I was holding everything in and felt like a tight ball of stress was eating away at my heart. I didn’t really talk to Eric about it, but I was moody all day long, only making me feel worse.
But eventually something has to give.
We got into bed and he could tell that I was upset. He said, just let it out….let it go…
I told him what was on my mind after much persuasion and then the flood gates opened. I started to cry and he put his arms around me and held me. It was one of those messy cries when you are crying and trying to speak, but nothing is coming out but squeaks and sobs.
He held me for a long time and he talked me through my feelings. Even though I only cried for a couple minutes, I felt cleansed. I felt the stress wash away from my body. I felt connected to Eric and thankful for his love. I haven’t cried like that in such a long time.
I have always been the type of person who hates to be vulnerable. I always had a guard up and was on defense at all times. I didn’t like to let people in and let them know that I was suffering.
This internalization was partly the reason for my eating disorder.
Instead of talking about things, I starved myself and distracted myself with numbers in my head. I used to think that by admitting problems, I was admitting a weakness in myself and I was embarrassed about it. That is why sometimes I don’t talk to Eric when I am having these feelings because I worry that he might think I am less of a person (which he obviously would never think).
This blog has changed so much for me. It has taught me that it is ok to be vulnerable. I have poured my heart out in countless posts and I have never regretted it once. I said on Twitter this morning that I had a good cry in Eric’s arms last night and I was floored by the messages that people sent me, asking me if I was ok and encouraging me that this would pass.
While sometimes it is a battle everyday, I am learning to open up and to let others in, even when I feel scared to do so.
Just before I drifted off to sleep, Eric said, ‘Tomorrow is a new day. It will be great.’
And I decided that I would make a gratitude list in the morning and write down things I am thankful for.
It is very easy to get wrapped up in our personal bubble. I think it is so important to step outside of ourselves and reflect on the greater power around us.
What I am grateful for today, right now, in this present moment:
1. I saw the most beautiful bird outside my window when I was baking this morning. He took my breathe away. I don’t even know what kind of bird this is, but he was beautiful. Normally I wouldn’t give myself the time to appreciate these small things in life, but I decided to seize the day and I grabbed my camera and headed outside to take 5 mins of gorgeous pictures of the bird. I felt instantly centered.
2. I have the most amazing customers/readers/friends in the world. They are the reason I jump out of bed in the morning.
3. Our entry way is no longer pink. (Thanks hubs for working all weekend on it and risking your life!)
4. I have amazing family and friends who love me a lot.
5. My core is getting stronger and I have noticed some new definition from the Whittle My Middle challenge (only after 1 week!).
6. Sketchie jumped up on our bed last night when I was crying and he slept with me. Animals are amazingly aware and intuitive. Anyone who thinks that animals have no feelings have obviously never has a pet before.
That was the first day we brought him home! We bonded. For the first few nights he slept under the covers with us by our chests.
7. Gossip Girl.
It has been a long time since I had a show all to myself to watch and fully engage in. I do watch the Office and 1-2 others shows but I typically work while they are on. Gossip Girl has been great for me because I put it on my laptop and put my headphones on and tune out. For that time every night, I am not doing anything but watching mindless TV and it is utterly fabulous.
8. Christmas music. I made a Christmas music mix and it is playing in the kitchen as I bake. It makes me feel soothed and happy.
Once I made this list, I felt better. Things were in perspective. I could get on with my day!
What are you grateful for today?
~~~~~
Glo Bakery
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Vegan Challenge
- Michelle and Katy are hosting a Vegan week on their blogs! There will be tons of awesome vegan related posts as well as lots of guest posts. I am doing a guest post on how to make vegan substitutions in baking. Thursday they are also challenging everyone to eat vegan for a day and then post your vegan meal on your blog and tell them about it. Find out all the info HERE!!!!!
Enjoy your day!
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{ 102 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow im the first to post.
You are such a strong woman! Everyone has those days. Glad you got over it, I was tearing up reading that! I am kind of having one of those days, being in a bit of a funk. I need to get out of it!
Sorry you were feeling down! Seems like you have an awesome husband though. :) And Sketchie is too cute!
I am such a cry-er (crier? crybaby?), but it really is just a way for me to get some of my stress out. I highly recommend a good cry to my friends all the time haha! Glad you’re feeling better today =)
aawww Ange!! I’m sorry you had a bad day. Don’t worry…very soon you’ll be heading to work at your REAL bakery, admiring your super cool Glo Bakery sign on the front of it, teaching your employees how to make your fabulous creations just right, and filling orders for celebrities left and right. I’m sure of it. :-D
Aren’t husbands the best. Glad you could let it all out. You have LOTS to be grateful for. Thanks for sharing your thoughts/feelings/experiences with all of us. You are the best! I am grateful for my hubs, family/friends, our house, hubs new job, my blog, cooking/baking, my body, exercise, pajamas, and Greek yogurt:)
That birdie is a Woodpecker. They are such hard workers! We had a baby in our trees this summer and I had so much fun watching him peck on anything he could find!
Red-Headed Woodpecker…less common than a general woodpecker! You got lucky to see him!
Its a pileated woodpecker. ;o)
They are beautiful creatures and just seeing it would have made my day. I am glad you got to see it.
Dudette, you beat me to it. ;) And right-on I must say.
Angela,
This was a beautiful post. I cannot tell you how much I saw myself in your words. I, too, have struggled to let down my walls and am slowly learning that it is ok to let someone else in.
Another thing i’ve learned is that it is in moments of weakness that we discover how strong we really are and how much we really can endure. I’m glad today is a better day and I am so glad that you have Eric to help you through the tough ones.
Be well.
i love you! :)
Thank you very much for sharing this post with us out here in the blogosphere. I have had days like yours yesterday, where I just feel so awful and need to “let it out” with a good cry. I think that society teaches us this warped perception that crying or showing emotion is a sign of weakness… so not true.
I am a very emotional and sensitive person, and am pretty intelligent. I think of my intuition as my sixth sense and if it has me crying on some days… I roll with it. It’s most often right on about things that are very much worth being upset over. Except when you get me in the greeting card aisle… :-D
I am grateful for:
YOUR BLOG! Thank you for being so honest here, sharing so much with us. I come back day after day for your words of wisdom and your stories.
Oh dear Angela. You’ve made me into a mush with your past two posts.
Being a person who has battled an eating disorder with many ups and downs since I was in 8th grade, your post hit home. I can say that I have recently come out of a low and am back on the right side, not counting calories, eating for my general health and well being, and I have never been happier. I feel better, I LOOK better and most importantly I am happy. And my relationship with Mike has gotten so much better too.
I also hate being vulnerable. I don’t know if it has to do with the eating disorder and everything I went through with that. But I, like you, don’t really open up to Mike like I should. But when I do, I feel like the weight of the world lifts.
Thank you for sharing all of this with us. I think it helps all of your readers take a step back and have a few ‘a ha’ moments.
What an awesome husband! :) You are one lucky gal!
It took me awhile to take the “risk” of letting my guard down knowing I could get hurt by someone from doing so… but I’ve found it only makes us stronger! I’m going through some rough times right now. My grandparents mortality, family friend having a stroke, family dog having 2 weeks to live… all of this at once. I’m thankful every day for the wonderful moments and lots of memories I have with my grandparents, for our friend to be home from the hospital and slowly recovering, and for the unconditional spoiling we gave our dog and for his unconditional love he gave back. :)
I am so glad you are feeling better today, girl. So many times I am also afraid to be vulnerable. That cry just makes all of the difference.
I’m so glad you’re feeling better and Eric could be there for you. Husbands really are the best!
You are an incredible woman and deserve to have an absolutely wonderful day. Hope your good mood continues!
Isn’t it great when nature sends a beautiful message? Yes, that’s a woodpecker. A Pileated Woodpecker. Gorgeous–and so are you!
I’m glad that you’re feeling better. And I totally agree with you about Christmas music. I don’t usually like to start listening to it this early, but I was feeling kinda sad and pessimistic last night driving home from my boyfriend’s and found two radio stations that are playing Christmas music already. It made me so happy!
I’m grateful for your green monsters! I had one for the first time today, and it was so good! I felt so refreshed and energetic after it. I don’t know why it took me so long!!!
Sometimes it is just good to cry and let it out! My grandpa told me that when I was 5, and it still makes me feel better even now!
That birds a woodpecker. Weird creatures I’ve seen them peck a bus stop before :D
Glad you are feeling somewhat better today. Happy Baking :)
Oh angela! I can relate. I’ve really started investing my efforts into my ED recovery, and I’ve really made some great strides: I can finally CRY now! When I feel it, I go to my safe place (usually my closet or on my bed) and just bawl if I want to. Nothing feels better.. I feel so free! I feel genuine and honest with myself! I’ve always been a bit of a cry baby, but you know, even when I’m crying I usually sob to myself “I’m so happy I can cry like this!” I’ve had phone calls where I burst into tears with my boyfriend listening, and he has never looked at me as less of a person. No one has ever told me that I’m less of a person because I express myself.
It takes strength and courage to cry, to express, to let go. I’m the only person that has thought any less of myself in the past because I would cry, and now that I’m in recovery, my rational mind is reminding me “Wait.. That’s pretty illogical, you’re still amazing, crying or not!” I mean.. you dance, jump, & play when you’re happy.. Why can’t you cry when your sad?
I’m grateful for a lot of things today. I’m young, I’m finally of age to get a job (turned 16 yesterday! Can you believe it?!), and I have a lot of supportive friends & family. Oh.. And I look pretty fabulous in a skirt, and my poetry skills are off the heezy. ;) I could go on and on, but I always seem to write excessively long comments, so I’ll leave it at that.
Aw Ange! Sometimes we just have those days, and letting it out is really the best way to feel better.
I love how honest you are. Thanks for being so real and strong. You are truly AMAZING :)
I’m so sorry to hear about your bad day yesterday. I too hate being vulnerable and rarely cry in front of other people. Still, even the littlest things seem to bring me down – a negative comment left on my blog, etc. I just wish I wouldn’t let the little things get to me. On the other hand, I am very grateful that I have a loving husband, wonderful family, and a career that I love. I couldn’t imagine waking up every day and dreading going to work, like many people do. Here’s to a beautiful Monday!
Hi! I was the one who wrote about coconut oil this morning. Please know that everybody has “those” days and that you are definitely not alone. I’ve been struggling a lot the last few months and have been randomly bursting into tears a lot recently. Be sure to take lots of good care of yourself and be gentle with yourself!
Just emailed you.
I’m grateful for LIFE – I need to live it as healthfully as I can, and treat my body well.
Angela- I don’t think I’ve ever commented but I stated reading your blog about a month ago. You are absolutely beautiful, courageous and brave (getting back on track from an eating disorder, quitting a “safe” job for something you love) and so positive. Remember these things!!!
I hope things are better for you today!
I had a really hard weekend as well. I was in and out of tears all weekend (in private because I don’t like to be venerable in front of others either). Your post came at an amazing time for me. It made me remember that I have a lot to be thankful for. So, I am thankful for my wonderful fiancé, our dogs and our cozy home.
I’m glad you are feeling better! I have had a rough couple of weeks as well and I am trying to stay positive and keep in mind that we are truly blessed. Have a wonderful day!
Loved your FAQ post earlier and I just want you to know that your blog is definitely in a small handful of blogs that has helped me get a grip on how I really want to live my life. You are so fortunate to have a husband who will hold you and let you cry.
I’m sorry you’ve been in a funk lately, but glad you are turning it around. I am so grateful for my health, my friends and my family. Things have been tough for me lately, having moved 500 miles from home and not having a job yet, but I’m trying to see the good things. And yes, pets really do make it better. It’s amazing how they just know when you need them.
So sorry you were in a bit of a funk. love your list of what you are grateful for.
I am grateful to be healthy on such a beautiful sunny day.
Glad you are feeling better!
Hey Angela:
Great post. Like you. I only watch a couple of tv shows regularly, but how much did you love Pam and Jim’s wedding on The Office. It really was one of the better sitcom weddings!
Today I am grateful for
My husband who puts up with way too much from me and even though we’re different in a lot of ways we still have the same dreams.
Technology – sure it’s the worst sometimes, but without it I couldn’t see my friends’ babies, my parents a couple of times a week, and find out about green monsters and glo bars!
The inspiring piece I am working on at the moment for a girls x-country team – these girls are strong and amazing and their friendships are awesome! They’re motivating me to run better :)
Hope you had a better day today!
One of the reasons you are so well loved on this blog is your honesty and your ability to express vulnerable moments. We all have them and although we label them vulnerable it really is these moments that define our strength. no one wants to feel “weak” however when someone has trusted there most vulnerable moments with you did you think of them as weak? Likely not and you admired there honesty, courage, and STRENGTH. I see these “vulnerable” moments as times that we are getting closer to knowing ourselves better and loving more fully. You are STRONG.
B
Ange, sorry you were feeling down. It’s perfectly natural to have some lows and sometimes when life gets too stressful having a good cry will make you feel a lot better.
I am grateful for many things, but I guess I don’t always to stop to appreciate this. Today, I am grateful for my silly cats – constantly entertainign and really quite ridiculous. I am also grateful for the cool weather – it’s been swelteringly hot here lately.
Angela,
Thank you so much for your post today. I had been training long and hard for my 5th marathon on Saturday in hopes of breaking 3:15…well, I was on track to do just that and halfway through hurt my foot,I’m waiting on my xray results right now. Ugh. I somehow managed to finish the race, mainly because I’m extremely bullheaded and stubborn! I’ve also struggled with eating disorders for a long time and hate being vulnerable…but I’ve cried a lot the past couple days!
It really helped to read your post to remind me that this is just one small incident in the grand scheme of things, I have pleny in my life to be grateful for and I’ll get over it!
Perfect timing, thanks soooo much!
: )
Tricia
A good cry can do wonders for the soul!
I LOVE my kitty, I don’t know what I would do without him. A good cuddle with him almost ALWAYS makes me feel better :)
Every girl has those “days” once in awhile! Love that you’re focusing on the positives.
You are so awesome and positive! I’m thankful I read your blog every day!
Pileated Woodpecker(Dryocopus pileatus)…kind of like woody woodpecker cartoon!! Very similar in markings to the once thought to be endangered Ivory Billed woodpecker.
Sorry you had a blue funk day. I am glad you find ways to see the positives in life even in something as simple as a bird. Makes life worth it!!
And I’m happy your entry way isn’t pink too!! We had a pepto pink guest room when I was a kid…hated going in that room!
Sometimes you just gotta cry it out. That’s why God created it right?:) I’m glad your feeling better. And yes we have so much to be thankful for. I’m thankful that I can walk talk and hear! (and blog of course) :))
I’m glad you’re feeling better; I totally know what you mean by the “ball of stress” feeling, and I hate it too!
Cheer up, Ange, you make delicious baked goods ;)
I hope you’re having a wonderful day! When one of my close friends and I both found ourselves having a bad day, we started what we called a, “a happy notebook.” At the end of each day, we’d write three “happy” things from the day and share them with each other.
Today, I’m thankful for a fabulous group of girlfriends that are having a Food Inc. movie party this evening. We’d read about it on your blog and got inspired to learn more about nutrition. Also, the photos of that beautiful bird and Sketchie put a smile on my face. Too cute.
glad you’re feeling better! today i am thankful for my health, my boyfriend and my family!
diana
I feel that way often…I guess I don’t let “it” out because I don’t want to be a “downer” or be “negative”…Usually, though, when I tell one person, who REALLY listens, then I am free to put it down and move on. It makes a big difference when you have a person in your life who can make you feel like things really will be ok and the world won’t fall apart if you surrender a little!
Great post! Sounds like you have an amazing husband :)
I have been in a funk today (Monday and all) and reading posts and blogs like yours always help me focus on the good stuff.
Today I am thankful for my husband, how warm the sun is on a 50 degree day, and the opportunity to go for a run in it!
Your honesty is inspiring. Sometimes, we just need a good cry. I hope today is better!!
xo
K
It is a pileated woodpecker–birdwatching is one of my favorite hobbies. It feels so nice to take the time to appreciate all those little creatures life has to offer.
I am SO glad you are feeling better today, I am sorry you had one of those days yesterday.
All your blog friends are very proud of you, and are there for you. ;o)
Have a great day.
BIG HUG TO YOU!
I am grateful that I could take today off of work, and go for a wonderful fall walk and then spend time working on a research paper (yes, I am even grateful that I have homework, ha!)
Husbands and cats are so good at helping us feel better, right? :) I am grateful for foods in the cupboards to make yummy meals, as well as the remaining Glo bars I have from my order!
I made your “gourmet” dip today – such a great idea! I love hummus and salsa but had never thought of mixing them together. Thanks for that :)
It can feel soooo good just to let it all out sometimes. I’m kind of similar in that I hold it all in, don’t talk about it, then just get overcome by it and sob. Except, my crying usually lasts hours, not minutes ;) I hope you are feeling better today. Especially because that is one amazing list – you have a lot to be thankful for :D
Today, I’m grateful I have a family that will do anything for me. I just made a HUGE life change, and they continuously tell me that I will never have to worry about a thing because they are there to help hold me up.
A wonderful post Ange, and it proves that every one of us has bad days. I think it was great of Eric to just tell you to let it go and cry it out, my boyfriend does the same thing and I feel so safe and comfortable with him when he does that. Recently I’ve been trying to voice my thoughts and feelings, also a hard thing for me to do, and it really does help. Even just saying it out loud brings me relief.
Hope you feel better tomorrow – you are entitled to a bad day every once in a while!
That brought tears to my eyes. I bottle everything up too; it’s hard to let anyone see the vulnerable side. Eric is a prince among men and I can tell that you know that. I hope that everyone has someone in their life like him.
Today I am grateful for your blog. I did not read at all over the weekend and all of the entries that I missed were gems and things that I really, really needed to hear. Your words help me all the time and that is an amazing gift to receive.
The beautiful bird that you saw is a red-headed woodpecker. I love to watch them and listen to them. Ya gotta love Mother Nature! :)
I am grateful that I have a supportive family and boyfriend who would do anything for me, my best friend had the greatest wedding ever, that I have been making time to relax and that I have been successful in school thus far. Oh and that graduation is less than a year away.
Thanks for such a great blog!
you got a wise man there !
Mine does the same for me when I get too bottled up. GOOD FOR YOU!
I am always amazed and grateful for the SMALL THINGS in life because they are what make it GRAND!
hugs!
ok this post just made me cry.. in a good way i guess. i have totally been there. i broke down to a roommate this week which is something i NEVER would have done last year. letting others into your thoughts and emotions once in a while is so freeing. i am thankful for this post today :)
what a fab post, a great reminder that everyone has those heartbreaking moments and also all the wonderful things we can be grateful for. well said and well put!
Ange you are such an amazing, strong and beautiful woman!
And you bring some much delight to all of us readers – you put a smile on our faces, and knowing that definitely ought to put a smile on yours!
Kudos to Eric for being there for you. He gets a gold star for that.
Today I am grateful that I have learned to eat healthy, tasty food when I’m hungry EVEN WHEN I have so much work to do and am so busy I think I’ll go crazy figuring out how to get it all done. I was complimenting myself on that today, actually. ;)
That, and I had a huge argument with my husband yesterday, but it was VERY good to clear the air, and finally get things out in the open. We were both relieved, and have been talking about it since and finally there isn’t an undercurrent of annoyance between the two of us. . . sometimes an argument is a way of “letting it out”, too, eh?
I am a lot like this. It is so hard for me to let others know what I am feeling. It is hard for me to admit sometimes that I need help. When I make a mistake at work it makes my entire day seem gloomy because I think that I shouldn’t make mistakes. Even though I realize that I am simply human and I am going to make mistakes and have failures, I sometimes feel like a failure when these things happen.
Your post is very timely for me, because I have been having similar issues and cried for the first time in years about a week ago. I was a crier when I was younger and was labeled a ‘cry baby’, so from about third grade on I almost never cried, I think not crying and not showing my emotion is my defense mechanism and you are sooo right that sometimes you just have to admit your problems and remember it is okay to be vulnerable.
Thanks for a great post!
Hi – I happened to come across your blog today. I’ve certainly had days like that. I’m fairly new to the blogging world and have found already that I am opening up more and also trying new things more often.
And I wanted to say that your kitty is the cutest thing! I have a tabby as well, but my cat is huge now – he could use some healthy eating in his life.
I have been having lots of these days lately, I remember I have a cute puppy at home waiting for me and a vacation coming next week. Tonight I am going to dinner with girlfriends and really need it!
Angela,
I am so much like you in that I never want to “burden” someone with my problems or admit that I cannot handle something on my own. Thank you so much for writing honestly about this, because it often seems like everyone around me is getting along with everything just fine … it’s nice to see/read some true feelings and realize that it’s totally normal to go through a funk and feel down! I’m glad you have such a wonderful husband who listens – I need to talk to my boyfriends, friends, and family more when I need it!!
Hope today was a good one :)
…I didn’t mean boyfriendS. there’s only one haha!
those days are difficult…i know. I have been going through a huge drop in my mood over the past two days and I can’t shake it off.
Like you, I had an eating disorder when I was younger _ i was hospitalised for 3 months when I was 15 and internalise a lot too.
However tomorrow, I am going to get myself to the gym – there is a step aerobics glass followed by legs bums and tums – 90minutes exercise should lift me…. i hope.
i hope you are feeling better xxx
sorry i meant class not glass lol x
Oh my gosh! I can absolutely relate to EVERYTHING you just said. I have also been one to keep my emotions all bottled up, afraid to be vulnerable, and it has only led to disordered eating for me, too. Thank goodness for wonderful husbands! I’ve found a good cry session really does help! And so do green monsters!! :)
Sounds like you’re having a much better day!
It is so amazing the way animals can just read our emotions. I remember in college after a break up, I was crying in my bedroom and my cat jumped up on my lap and licked my tears off my cheeks! Maybe that sounds a little gross letting your cat lick your face, but it made me feel better at the time! :)
Thank you so much for being so honest. I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your blog.
Right now, I’m really grateful to you. I know this may sound cheesy but your reassurance about my blog really made me feel like I could do it (even if no one reads it! haha). I always have that feeling that whatever I do is not really good enough but I appreciate your encouraging words.
I hate days where the funk just won’t go away. I’m glad you were able to find release through a good cry and by connecting with Eric :)
Today I’m grateful for my husband. I was actually just thinking about how lucky I am to have him and how much we have been through together, especially over the last few years as we’ve both lost our dad’s and other close family members. We are very lucky to have good jobs and a good life…I really couldn’t ask for more <3
I’ve been in a funk lately, too and just posted about it this morning. Hope you’re feeling better.
There’s nothing like a good cry– it’s healthy, beautiful and like Rob Thomas sang, ‘tears fall like diamonds’.
I’m glad you are mindful of all the beauty that surrounds you, it’s a rare and beautiful skill/gift.
Have a wonderful night <3
Becca
The bad days make you appreciate the good ones so much more! I’m grateful for my fiance. He understands me better than anyone else and can always detect when something is wrong (even if I insist that I’m fine).
I have some major breakdowns today… Not good. I’m grateful for my family and the blogworld to escape to. I’m grateful that I’m able to work out and run like I do.
Animals are VERY in tune to how we feel. I love it when my cat and dogs comfort me.
Glad to hear you are feeling better Angela. Letting it out is such a release. Making a gratitude list always helps me feel better too, totally shifts your perspective doesn’t it?!
Sometimes I find myself feeling grateful even for these types of rough patches, because they give me the contrast and the clarity to truly appreciate the good things in life for how great they really are.
XO
*hugs* glad you are feeling better today. it’s so easy to hold things in, but it sounds like you’ve got an amazing, intuitive hub ;) glad sketchy helped out, too! sending smiles and sunshine your way!
p.s. Would you share your Christmas mix? ;o) I love the holidays and to listen to Christmas music.
Angela, You have so much going for you. You have done way more than people twice your age. I really admire you for leaving an unhappy job to fulfill your dream job.
Also, next time you feel bad you and Eric need some wine and dance. Take care of yourself.
It is very special that you saw a Pileated Woodpecker! They are rare. I think he was there to tell you that life is magic and so are you!
I am not a cryer, and I was such a cryer this weekend! I swear it’s like something’s in the air!
Your husband sounds amazing. I’m sure this will pass and you will end up on the other side of it having learned something, but I’m sorry it’s painful along the way.
So many of us are grateful for YOU – remember that!
Thanks so much for sharing that! What is soooo funny is that I had almost the exact same type of day yesterday, and even this morning I woke up feeling down, but I forced myself to go to the gym and that finally seemed to break the spell. It reminded me that today truly IS a new day :)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I was in the same type of mood over the weekend, and luckily, like you, had an awesome guy to hold me while I cried it out. I actually thought about what you had written in your “A Year Can Change A Lot” series, about how lost and trapped you felt before quitting your job, because that’s close to what I’m going through right now. My problem is that I can list a dozen things I’d rather be doing, but can’t see any way to actually make them happen. I’m trying to figure it out, but thanks again for writing so honestly about everything — it helps me know that I’m not alone and that big changes are possible.
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always find it’s so hard to get out of those funks but I really like your gratitude list, I’ll have to try it one of those times I have one of ‘those days’. GG is one of my guilty pleasures too! It’s such a great escape :)
Angela, thank you for sharing this. Knowing that people who are put together, strong, achievers…having normal and down days is refreshing to all of us. It’s hard being vulnerable and I totally know what you mean. I am glad that you’ve found a safe place in your life with Eric which enables you to be vulnerable and protected.
Keep up the amazing work and know that you are beautiful and strong in all of our eyes. We adore and read you because you are you. You share with us your life..and that is vulnerable and gorgeous in the same light.
p.s. I love the GG made your list. I feel ya.
Oh Ange,
I teared up when I read this. Probably like everyone here, I feel like you’re one of my close friends, and I was really concerned for you.
I hope we’re not putting pressure on you. We love it when you post something, and we will fully understand if it all gets too much. Just post a piccy of Sketchie and that hunky hubby of yours and we’ll be blissed out for a while and it will give you a breather!
Sending you huge bear hugs!!
I seem to have those days more and more often lately. It’s so great that your hubby is understanding and knows how to make you feel better. It’s OK to have those days every once in a while … you’re normal just like the rest of us. :)
Hang tough girl … you are AMAZING!
Just seeing the amount of responses you got on your post speaks loud and clear of how those around you feel about you. You’re a pearl, a diamond that wants to make the world a nicer place. I wish I could give you a hug.
We all have set backs and as women, we are prone to mini breaks like you had. You have alot to be proud of so try not to let things get you down although I know its hard. I’m one to hold things in and my hubby has to use a hammer and chisel to get me to open up sometimes. I always feel better when i do. We’re all here for you!
Keep shining.
xx
I’m grateful for my wonderful husband who even though he was super busy himself bought me lunch since I had to work through it and didn’t eat.
I’m also thankful for my dogs who make Whittle My Middle more fun by trying to lick me while I do the core work.
And I’m super grateful for my church family. I see them growing and love to join them in the process.
I think there’s something in the air in southern Ontario this week, I swear. Funkiness is going around… and not the good kind. :(
Hope you’re feeling better!
Sorry to hear about your funk.I was in one almost all of last week! It will pass!
My nerdy hubby told me the bird you saw was a pileated woodpecker.
I hear you and totally relate. I have the HARDEST time opening up and talking through my feelings. It seems like my bf is often the last to hear about things because opening up means being vulnerable. I hate that because it feels SO good to let it all out. Good job for letting go. It’s so difficult to do when youre used to stuffing it in.
I’m glad you’re feeling better Angela! Sometimes we just need to let it out!
I used to do a gratitude journal and I LOVE going through and reading the posts now. I think I’m going to start it again to remind myself of all the great blessings in my life, instead of worrying about the small stuff. Great post, as usual!! :)
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed today. I had an extremely difficult day today. I too internalize everything. When I read this post, I thought – I wish I could let out a good cry… like I wanted to but couldn’t. I wallowed the afternoon and was also able to release the tears when my husband came home. It felt great.
It’s funny how sometimes the things you need come to you at exactly the right time – like this post today.
Hope all is well!
I am grateful that I just finished my last final exam of my second undergraduate degree!! Freedom!!!
Angela, I really appreciate your honesty. I was just feeling nudged to say some prayers for you today! I too feel so much better when I can just let it out to my hubby. I actually told him about you and Eric watching Julie and Julia and the voice he did was something I could totally see my husband doing. He actually came with me to the premier night and we laughed a lot during the movie. Anyways, husbands are amazing, I’m totally grateful for mine! :)
Aww Ange this post really popped at me. I completely know what you mean about being vulnerable. I completely admire your honesty and ability to admit all that here on the blog. I’m sorry you had such a rough day dear. Sometimes we just need those cries. And Eric sounds like he was amazing for you :-)
I love your blog. I am struggling right now with very low weight. Have not been able to exercise for 11 months now and I used to love it…and I miss it so much it hurts me so much. I have a long road ahead and fear I will never be able to do more than a walk again . I wish I could reclaim what I had. I just want to say that I think you are great and I admire you intensely.
i’m so sorry to hear about your bad day, but i definitely know exactly where you are at…that vulnerability caused me a lot of problems throughout my ED, and it was because of that, that no one knew for over a year. even now, i still struggle with my emotions, though my eating is sooooooo much better. my boyfriend has been working with me on just letting things out when i feel them, but sometimes i feel like i am burdening him that way. i guess that’s where my blog came in, though there isn’t that much to it yet. keep your head up! everyone has bad days, and don’t let this one get you down :)
ciao bella!
you are so precious to open up like you do. you help me feel “normal” i swear. : ) also, i don’t know what it is exactly, but as a counselor, i have noticed that the holidays can bring on some pretty intense emotions in people. hang in there honey! remember your note on the back of your jacket…. you are so much stronger than you think!!!
Sorry to hear you had a bad day but glad it is better now. I agree about animals, we call my dog Suzie the “anti-depressant dog” because she knows when you are upset and will love all over you.
ooh I love birds, but we don’t get such exotic specimens like woodpeckers in Ireland unfortunately :(