[For my entire Road To Health Series see: My Road To Health: Part 1, My Road To Health: Part II, My Road To Health: Part III, My Road To Health: Part IV, My Road To Health: Part V, My Road To Health: Part Vb, My Road To Health: Part VI, My Road To Health: Part VII]

When you are struggling, the hardest part is always admitting to yourself that you deserve happiness. It is much easier to just believe that you don’t deserve happiness and remain stagnant in your life. Once you look yourself in the eye and admit that you deserve to be happy, you now must do something about it.

Doing something about it is the hard part, but it sure beats the alternative.

That was one of my concluding thoughts in my last Road To Health post.

In this part, I would like to talk about how I took those initial steps toward happiness.

1. I had to admit to myself that I deserve happiness.

I realized that I must be at a place where I was ready to do something about my unhappiness. For years, I was perfectly content to stay exactly where I was, miserable and unchanging. Sure, I wanted to be happy, but for a long time it was easier to stay where I was rather than force myself to change negative patterns. It is hard work and is why so many of us remain unhappy for years before finally doing something about it.

We stay in unfulfilling jobs, relationships, dogmatic exercise regimes, and commitments because it is just easier then doing something about it.

2. Talk openly about my struggles

For years, I didn’t talk about my eating disorder or negative body image. I didn’t talk about having low self-esteem or anxiety problems.

It was a mixture of shame and denial, equally.

I was also scared that my eating disorder ‘secret’ would be taken away from me. As much as I hated that I suffered with it each day, it also brought me a lot of comfort. I didn’t have to grow up or face real life issues.

I saw a therapist for a while during my time as an undergraduate at university. I remember feeling embarrassed to call and make the appointment, to sit in the waiting room with other students hoping I wouldn’t see anyone I knew, and to tell a complete stranger about my struggles. I discovered that there was comfort in talking and there was also the potential to be impacted in a positive way.

3. Write

I also started Oh She Glows as a way to talk openly about my struggles and connect with others and I always say that the blog was a huge help in my recovery and determination to be happy in all areas of my life.

There is power in numbers and in women joining together with common goals.

No matter what emotion I am feeling, I know that I can always come to my keyboard and get my thoughts out. Some posts I don’t end up publishing, but most I do. Writing has always been one of my great loves in life and a great way to work things through.

4. Focus on the big picture, not the numbers.

Eating disorders often revolve around numbers, even though to this day I still think the focus on numbers is simply a distraction from other problems. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t know how much I weighed that morning or how many calories I consumed at breakfast.

I used to be able to recite the calorie count of virtually any food, whether I ate it or not. I was always prepared. I also knew my size in all of my favourite stores as well as what size I was last year and what size I wanted to fit into. I would keep a tally of the day’s calories on a piece of paper each day, just in case my memory failed me (which it rarely did).

There was no room for me to explore the big picture because my mind was merely a calculator doing busy work, crunching numbers. I didn’t know what my hobbies or my passions were.

When I decided that I deserved happiness, one of the first things I did was decide that I was going to live a life without numbers.

But in the beginning, I was convinced that I could recover while still counting calories. I would simply allow myself more calories for the day and that would be fine and dandy.

I would give myself a healthy calorie count to strive for and I thought that I could recover as long as I achieved this ‘healthy’ number.

I was wrong.

The obsession continued.

Despite eating more, I still suffered with guilt, anxiety over food, and constant rumination.

I still weighed myself.

After months and months of this ‘I can have it both ways’ approach, I took a hard look at my habits.

Would my continued focus on numbers (even if they were healthier numbers) prevent me from getting to where I wanted to be?

I knew my answer, although it was hard to put into action.

To be continued…

[For my entire Road To Health Series see these links: My Road To Health: Part 1, My Road To Health: Part II, My Road To Health: Part III, My Road To Health: Part IV, My Road To Health: Part V, My Road To Health: Part Vb, My Road To Health: Part VI]

My road to health is never over, even though I can now tell you that I have been free from disordered eating for a while now.

Each day is a journey, not just with our Road to Health, but with all aspects of our lives.

What will happen today? Will I be good to myself? Will I treat others with respect? Will I hit a pothole along the way and slip up? Will I tell myself nice things and stay positive? Will I let negative thoughts or anxiety prevent me from succeeding? Will I be a good friend, family member, or partner?

A new day is quite exciting if you stop and think about it. Not everyone has this chance.

The beauty of each day is that we have a chance to start fresh.

For a long time, I didn’t believe this…at all. When I was deep into my disordered eating, no day was a fresh start for me.

It was simply one long, miserable journey that was going backwards and not forwards. With each day that I failed to take control of my own life, I crept back a few steps until I didn’t even know which way was the right direction.

Sometimes, when you fall into negative patterns for so long, you lose not only yourself, but your internal compass, that is supposed to guide you in the right direction. This internal compass, is also known as your heart or that little voice inside your head that tells you instinctively what you should do. Mine is always right.

Along the way, I stopped listening to my heart and my internal compass became a monotonous track of negative words and phrases.

You might be surprised to know that the #1 topic that I am emailed about pertains to disordered eating and the most frequent thing mentioned is binge eating. I have talked about binge eating several times in the past (parts: one, two, three) and I still believe that it is much more common than we believe and it is often an eating disorder that is swept under the rug and filled with great shame, much like bulimia.

For years, I couldn’t bring myself to even tell Eric that I struggled with binge eating at times. I could talk to him about the calorie restriction and over-exercising, but for some reason not binge eating. I was ashamed of myself and I was so scared that he was going to think less of me if I told him. Of course, that wasn’t the case. I was so scared for so many years to just talk about my struggles, but when I finally did I received support and understanding. Not once did I have someone turn their back on me.

Talking about it was the most freeing feeling in the world and it is always something I recommend to others in the same position. The secrecy, pain, and shame of an eating disorder creates this huge bubble of negativity in your life, but talking about it bursts the bubble and allows others to come inside to help. I saw a counsellor in university for a bit and I also started this blog and spoke openly about my struggles. Over time, I started to feel empowered and no longer like I was doomed by some negative fate.

Of course, this not only applies to those suffering from an eating disorder, but to most struggles in life.

The truth is, there is nothing to be ashamed of! We are human and we all have struggles in life. What we struggle with will vary by the individual, but we all struggle none the less.

The hardest part of my journey was admitting that I could claim happiness in my life.

For years, I believed that I was destined to be unhappy with myself and I thought that I would always struggle with food and weight until old age.

When you are struggling, the hardest part is always admitting to yourself that you deserve happiness. It is much easier to just believe that you don’t deserve happiness and remain stagnant in your life. Once you look yourself in the eye and admit that you deserve to be happy, you now must do something about it.

Doing something about it is the hard part, but it sure beats the alternative.

Each and every one of us has a special and unique light inside of us just waiting to be embraced.

My intention with this blog is to show you what makes me happy and then to encourage you to go find what makes YOU happy.  We all have a unique journey ahead of us and that is the beauty of life.

[Sketchie recommends meditating sleeping in a box lid. That may also work. I think I shall try this tonight.]

Good morning!

It has been a long time since I did another post in my Road To Health series. Eleven months to be exact! I’m sure you were starting to wonder if I fell off the cliff?

Start your engines folks!

My Road To Health: Part VI

Missed these?

• My Road To Health: Part 1
• My Road To Health: Part II
• My Road To Health: Part III
• My Road To Health: Part IV
• My Road To Health: Part Va
• My Road To Health: Part Vb

One factor that helped me beat my eating disorder was that I learned how to channel my negative thoughts into something positive.

For example:

Eating Disordered Thought #1: “Food will make me fat; therefore, I should avoid it at all costs.”

—> Negative thought changed into positive thought —>

New Positive thought #1: “Food can be healthy and energizing; therefore I will learn about what foods will make me feel the best.”

So as you can see, part of my recovery involved looking at food, and myself, in a new light. It is not a surprise that we get into negative thinking patterns and can’t get out of them. After all, we are inside our heads all day long! For the longest time, I didn’t even recognize that my thoughts were problematic. I would estimate that 95% of my thoughts used to be negative. How draining and tiresome that got…

So I had to first recognize that this was not healthy and secondly decide that I was going to change. Then I took action.

The Goal: Negative thoughts about food were turned into positive thoughts. Negative thoughts about myself were turned into positive, or at least neutral, thoughts. A tall order but I was not willing to accept the alternative.

I was a walking-contradiction. I had a huge passion for health, but I neglected to treat myself in a healthy manner. Something was missing. I had to start practicing what I preached. I decided to learn about health and nutrition and apply it to myself. I was my own guinea pig in a sense. My ‘control group’ or ‘baseline measure’ was how I felt while starving- unhappy, depressed, and irritable. Surely it could only go up from there…!?

The question became: How would I feel when I started to eat wholesome and nutritious foods?

I took those nutrition courses in university and I rocked them. I started to buy nutrition books for pleasure reading when I wasn’t studying for my course work. I discovered many things along the way:

1) I soaked up health and nutrition information like a sponge.

2) I started to appreciate my body for everything that it does for me instead of loathing it.

As I learned more, I started to apply it to myself…very gradually. I realized that the iceburg lettuce I was eating, while low in calories, gave my body almost zero nutrients. Same with many of the foods I was eating. Instead of focusing on how much I could eat with the fewest amount of calories, I started to focus on what foods I could eat that would have the most amount of nutrients in them. I swapped the iceburg lettuce for romaine and spinach. I swapped microwave popcorn for veggie and cracker trays with hummus and avocado. While the calories really didn’t differ too greatly, my energy levels sure did.

During high school and also in my 1st year of university, I went vegetarian for several months at a time. It was extremely hard being a vegetarian while living off cafeteria food in university. I found that my options were limited because I didn’t have a kitchen to cook my own foods. So that didn’t last too long.

In 2008, Eric and I started to save money for our wedding. Prior to this, we hadn’t been paying much attention to our grocery bills. Once we examined them, we realized that we had been spending about $25-30 on meat a week. We both ate meat twice a day. We decided that we could easily cut back our meat consumption and swap a few dinners for lentils, beans, or grains. We discovered that lentils, grains, and beans were cheap. This made our wallets thicker, or should I say, the wallets of the wedding industry.

This is when something started to click inside me. I started to experiment with new foods (also thanks to many food blogs I was reading at the time!) and I realized that I didn’t need meat like I thought I did. There were all of these wonderful foods out there that I had not even given a chance because we were taught that a meal should consist of meat, potatoes, and veggies.

Gradually over 2008, meat lost its’ appeal in my life. Sometimes I would cook meat for Eric and then just have something else for myself because I found that I didn’t crave it anymore. I decided that I would eat a meat-free diet and I continued to consume dairy, eggs, fish, and other animal products. As I educated myself about the food industry, my love for animals and the environment swayed my choices in my diet. Watching Food Inc. really opened my eyes and I realized that I could never go back to eating animal products again. I asked myself, ‘Why eat an animal when I can obtain my diet from plants?’

In 2009, I continued to eat fish occasionally up until around the early summer when I decided to eat a vegan diet. I would have fish once a every two weeks or so. While some vegetarians would gasp at the idea of having fish occasionally, I just did what was best for me at the time. I listened to my body. For me, it was never about being ‘perfect’ according to a certain label or what people say I should eat.

Over 2009, I started to experiment with new products. I tried Tofurkey, soy yogurt, soy cheese, and non-dairy ice cream. Some of these products tasted good and some of them tasted horrible. The obvious downside with these products is the price and the processed mystery ingredients that they contain. I was a fan of neither. These imitation products are a big reason why many people think it is more expensive to eat a vegan diet. They are super expensive. Because we were cutting costs in our lives, I had to learn how to eat a vegan diet without the use of these products. And let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did.

I think these vegan products are ok for that transition period when you are freaking out and wondering how in the world you are going to survive without your yogurt, but I have found that I can’t even be bothered with them anymore. I used them as a crutch at first because I thought that is what I was supposed to eat as a vegan. Now I would rather eat the unprocessed stuff because I find it tastes better and I feel better when I don’t eat them. However, on occasion I will have a vegan pizza or something to that effect when I want one.

My decision to eat a vegan diet was not sudden, just as eating a vegetarian diet was not. It was gradual. You probably saw the slow and gradual change in my diet over the past year. many vegetarians or vegans can tell me the exact date, but for me it was very gradual and something I did over time. While some vegetarians or vegans go cold-turkey, this was not my approach. I slowly transitioned to the diet I eat now. I found this much more manageable. My best advice for those of you who want to change is start slow. Many of us spent our entire lives eating certain foods and it may be unrealistic to just change everything in one day.

When I started to find that my energy increased, I stopped getting colds, and my skin started to really glow, I knew that I was on the right path and my body was finally happy.

To answer all of your questions on Twitter last night, Yes I craved meat, dairy, etc for several months. Occasionally, I will still crave eggs or cheese, but I don’t crave meat anymore. This is quite shocking to me because I used to love meat! It took about 4 months or so of not having these foods. I have always had a big sweet tooth, so for me, giving up cheese or eggs was probably not as hard as it is for others.

I find that I am craving all sorts of foods now like black bean burgers, couscous, hummus, green monsters, and almond butter. When I changed the foods I was eating, my palate also changed over time. I have also seen the same change in Eric. He used to hate all vegetables and now he loves them and craves a big salad for dinner. If you grow up eating meat and dairy, you will probably crave it. If you grow up eating other foods, you will likely crave those foods. It only makes sense to adapt to what you eat.

During the ‘transition’ when I was trying to go without dairy products, I got hooked on almond milk and hemp milk as a replacement for cow’s milk, so this wasn’t a hard sacrifice. I don’t really care for soy milk so I stay away from that mostly. It was really hard giving up cheese and yogurt. I used to have a huge yogurt addiction to the point where I would eat 3 mini yogurts a day. I used to wonder what the heck I would eat if I couldn’t have my morning snack of yogurt! I got creative and I learned about new foods and new recipes. I looked at what other vegans were eating and followed suit. Thank God for vegan food/recipe sites, that is all I can say!

I actually found this trial and error period very fun and liberating.

There are many negative associations with veganism, such as rigid, obsessed, overly-restrictive, etc. However, what I learned while on this journey is that being a vegan is not restrictive when you learn about all of the foods you can eat. As humans it is natural for us to focus on things we can’t have, but what about all the foods we can have? In just the past year or two, I probably eat over 200 new foods that I never ate before.

My diet used to consist of the same three meals every single day. Being a vegan has challenged me to break out of that rut and try new things. I get much more variety now than I ever did, so for me, this experience has been a great thing for my health and overall satisfaction with food.

There is no exact science to going vegetarian or vegan. I have said all along that I am not a perfect vegan, nor do I strive to be one. I will make mistakes and occasionally eat food with dairy in it that I don’t know about. I don’t let myself get bothered by things like that. I don’t believe the point of being a vegan is perfection. I wore the perfectionist mask for several years and I can tell you that it is a mask I will never wear again. I do the best I can each day and that is good enough for me.

And for those of you asking what Eric’s response was to me going vegan:

Here it is from the man himself…

Eric said, “It’s your choice and it doesn’t bother me. The only thing I don’t like is that it is hard  for us to find a restaurant where they have vegan options.”

I asked what about me not making meat for dinner?

“It was a drag not having you make meat for dinner, but after a while I got used to it. I have meat a couple times a week now so I don’t really feel like I am missing out. My meat consumption has gone down about 75% and I don’t mind having some vegetarian meals now whereas before I would never have considered it. I probably would never go fully vegetarian though. I’m happy with how things are now.”

It is definitely possible to be a vegan and not have your partner choose the same. It is more work, but it wasn’t a huge deal breaker for us.

The main thing I have learned is to have FUN with whatever your diet may be! For me, food was the enemy for so long. I have never been so excited about food in a long time. I feel like a part of me has woken up and come alive.

Whether you are a Vegan, Vegetarian, Carnivore, Flexitarian or what have you- HAVE FUN with your diet! Experiment, try new foods, and enjoy the experience.

~~~~

More reading for those curious:

1) For specific information on how to make the vegetarian or vegan transition, please see this wonderful article on 20 tips! Love Zen Habits

2) For my vegan baking tips, please check out my guest post over at Silly Tater Tot!

3) Want go participate in vegan for a week? Thursday is the official vegan for a day challenge.

You want to take part?

On Thursday, November 19, we are asking that you devote one or all of your meals to being vegan. We just kindly ask if you could link back to either my blog or Michelle’s when you make your posts about Vegan Week. We will be compiling a list of all who participate throughout the day, on our blogs under the ‘VeganWeek’ tabs. If you could make sure to either send us the link and/or leave it in the comment section of the ‘Vegan 4-A- Day’ official post on Thursday then we can give you proper accolades.

If you know of any other friends, bloggers or not, who are up for the challenge…spread it around! Everyone who takes part will have a chance at a really cool prize — details of that to come soon!

THREE GLO BAR GIVEAWAYS:

3) Check out Katy’s Glo bar giveaway as a part of Vegan for a Week!

4) Check out Michelle’s Glo Bar giveaway as part of Vegan for a Week!

5) Check out Julie’s Glo Bar giveaway!

Charity Donations:

For all of November, Katie has something going called “Operation Chocolate Covered Kindness” where she’s going to donate all of her foodbuzz money to a really great charity called The Enough Project. Please visit her amazing website (she has great recipes too!) and contribute to the cause.

Goodluck!!!

Have a wonderful hump-day!

‘Ange, there’s no way in hell I would be able to keep up with all your posts!’ 

                                                                                  ~My honest hubby

Man, if your own husband doesn’t even read that’s a bad sign!

What a great discussion we had going in yesterday’s hot topic post! Thank you for all of your input. I think I hit on a good topic because I received over 30 emails yesterday about it. Boy, did you have lots to say on this matter…

What I have concluded is this:

1) Quality trumps quantity

I always knew this, but yesterday was a great reminder of how true this is! Your comments were so eye opening. I think many bloggers feel that they need to post 37634 times a day, but you guys showed why this isn’t true.

2) Blogs should always be fun. If they are not, change what you are doing.

Blogging for me has been fun 95% of the time, but I occasionally feel stressed when I can’t get up a post when I want to. This is going to change from now on. I think stress is a warning sign that burnout may be approaching, so it is a great idea to take breaks and not have pre-defined schedules. Take home message: Post when I want, about what I want. Period.

3) Posting too frequently can stress out your own readers!

I had no idea that posting content 3 times a day could actually stress out my own readers, but I was told this by several people yesterday. Let’s face it- we all have busy lives and it is really hard for some people to be able to fully appreciate posts if they are flying up several times per day. I totally get that. Trust me, I don’t want to spam your readers.

4) I want to get back to my roots- my research roots.

I have about 7 years of training in research. I have barely applied this training on the blog and I am going to start to do this more because 1) I love health research, and 2) It is something I can offer my readers that is unique!

My goal is to ‘break down’ the hottest and most recent scholarly research and put it in layman’s terms. Don’t worry I’m not going to be spewing out research articles on you or get all academic on you. I’m just going to point out some cool findings every now and then or talk about how to critically evaluate the research you see in the media. Fun, informative, and simple.

~~~~~~

Green Monster Movement is updated with new reader recipes. OSGMOM also submitted her newest favourite green monster concoction. It sounds delicious and I can’t wait to make it once my appliances are returned to me. Anxiously awaiting and tapping fingers on desk…

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A while back I was interviewed for Best Health Magazine and the interview is now up!

Click here for the full interview (or click on the photo below).

I think it gives a nice intro into my road to health. I kind of chuckled at the large title ‘quote’ they put at the top. I would never make loosing 20 pounds sound so easy. But like Zesty says, catchy titles sell, right? Let me know if you have any questions that come up after reading the interview. I will be happy to answer or provide a more detailed explanation (they cut a lot of the interview for space restraints).

Attention, attention! A delicious bake sale charity auction is going on over at Natalie’s blog until tomorrow!

Canadians: Want to bid on my Glo bars for a good cause? Check out Natalie’s charity auction!

Learning To Love The Journey

Hello Summer Glow-ers! Are you glowing yet?

As you probably noticed, this week’s theme is ‘It’s All About The Self-Love, Baby!’ Oh yes.

This week we will be focusing on APPRECIATING our beautiful bodies for the amazing things they are.

Right. this. second.

Not in 10 pounds.

Not on your wedding day.

Not when you go away on your summer vacation.

Not when pigs fly.

Right. this. second.

Take a moment to reflect on some of the thoughts you had about your body today. My guess is that many of them were negative, right? I am guilty of this too, although I am slowly learning how to push out the negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. It takes time to change our thought processes which are so automatic and ingrained in our heads.

Many of you have probably read about my Road to Health series. They chronicle my entire journey though the bad times and the good times and how I finally stopped obsessing about food and weight.

All too often, we think ‘Only once I get to Point B, will I be happy’ or ‘Once I lose the weight, I will be happy/I will stop snapping at my boyfriend/I will go out and get that dream job’.

That is not a good way to live our lives! As women, I think we are especially prone to this type of thinking. We often put our own happiness to the side because we think that we aren’t worthy of true happiness and self-love until we have molded ourselves to which society deems is acceptable. I have spoken to so many women who just can’t seem to break out of the mindset that their life doesn’t officially begin until they have shed the weight or transformed their body.

It doesn’t have to be this way!

Several years ago, when I started to lose weight, I didn’t even stop to reflect or appreciate my hard work. Losing weight is VERY hard work, but often, we get so caught up in our ‘end goal’ that we take all of the pleasure out of those small triumphs that we make, often on a daily or weekly basis.

One of my gripes about many women’s magazines is that they seldom write about all of life’s small pleasures and how we can learn to appreciate small changes we make to our lives on a cosistent basis. All we tend to read is, ‘LOSE 30 POUNDS BY CHRISTMAS’ or ‘FIT INTO YOUR BIKINI BY MEMORIAL DAY’.

What about this:

‘Take a moment at the end of your day to reflect on the good choices we made today!’

I know, it’s not as catchy is it! But, just think about it for a moment…

I didn’t take any time yet today to reflect on some positive choices I made today, but I certainly need to start doing so. I think that things can become such a habit that we forget to appreciate all the great things we do for ourselves each day.

If I were to make a small list, this is what today would read like:

• I celebrated with a fun green monster today, when I was really tempted to skip it because I was so short on time this morning and just wanted to start baking. Instead, I took some time for my health!
• I didn’t feel like it, but I did some stretching today to thank my muscles for getting me through 10 miles yesterday.
• I had some dark chocolate for dessert at lunch today and didn’t let myself feel guilty for doing so. For whatever reason, when I was struggling with disordered eating, indulgences early in the day used to be a big trigger for me and would set me up for over-eating. I didn’t let myself feel guilty today.
• When I looked in the mirror this morning, I smiled and told my body how it did me proud yesterday! lol…true story! Why not, right?!

I didn’t even realize I had done so many positive things for my health until I listed them just now! I am sure there are others too.

If I could turn back time, I would definitely do more exercises like these when I was losing weight because I will admit, I often did not appreciate the journey. I was so focused on losing the weight that I really forgot about all the changes I have made.

I think it is crucial to stop and reflect each day, a few times a day, or a few times a week. Whatever works for you. Pencil it into your schedule if you have to. The best part of it is that it only takes a few minutes to think about a few positive decisions you made in honour of your health that day.  

SGBC Homework

Yes, we have homework this week!

Once a day for the rest of the week I am asking you to take a few minutes to stop and write down a few positive things that you did in honour of your health on that particular day.

See if it helps you appreciate the journey!

Tonight’s question:

Do you stop enough to reflect on how far you have come? Do you pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments or are you always wanting more, more, more?

See you tomorrow for a hot topic that made my blood boil today!

Don’t forget to enter the awesome Amazing Grass giveaway! Keep those Green Monster stories coming.

Good afternoon OSG’s readers!

I hope you are all having a great start to your workweek. My day is going well, getting lots done.

As promised, today we have a really uplifting reader’s Jouney to Health story, from the lovely Polly over at Yoga Is Yummy.

Polly’s story centres around letting go of an obsessive exercise mentality and embracing a new way to look at fitness. She was kind enough to share her inspiring story on Oh She Glows today!

Polly: “I have been practicing yoga for over 4 years.  I never dreamed I’d even like yoga, let alone now be teaching it!  I was a runner, and that was my love.  I ran a few half marathons and scores of smaller races and basically ran, ran, and ran some more.  I also taught fitness classes at my local Y. I was in shape, sorta. I mean, I was pretty thin, but inside I was not healthy.  I lived on carbs (bread, cereal, other yummies) and as long as my food was low-fat and “safe”, I was good to go! oh my goodness. 

Skipping ahead now… I can see how my love for running turned into a “NEED” to run and I was pretty obsessive, running even on icy mornings, when my Achilles was screaming, or when there was no reason why I had to.  This had become an addiction, a slowly peeled back issue of control which was messing up my life and my heart, so I think God rolled up his sleeves and decided to remove his kid from this mess. =)

Enter YOGA.  Nope, not into “I am one with the universe” kinda stuff.  A friend of mine needed teaching hours for her Yoga level one training.  So, I happily went thinking “I need some stretching.” Well… it was AWFUL.  I was so tight, so frustrated, and came out of the class thinking I just wasted a perfectly good Saturday when I could have been running… or doing a “real” workout? ugh.  I giggle when I think of that now!  But, I kept going.  Yes, my hamstrings were very mad at me for this, I THOUGHT I was strong, I mean, I lifted weights for goodness sake! …well, before you lose interest (take a bite of oatmeal, it will wake you up) … I gotta say:  This girl stuck to it.  I eventually went to my first yoga teacher training.  I came home and went straight to bed at 8pm. I remember my hubby was in shock. 

“You are that tired from yoga?” I was like YES!! 

For the first time I was experiencing each muscle working together, my breath becoming natural again, and the whole “yoga is a workout” thing…. Girls… it IS a workout, but that is totally NOT the point. 

My body wants to be loved, taken care of, treated with kindness, and not just a “oh yeah, gotta in my yoga fix for the week” kinda thinking. 

I never dreamed in a zillion years that my running would take second seat.  Boy did it.  I began to run less and practice yoga more.  Eventually I was ONLY doing yoga and felt the most calm AND energetic and most healthy in my life.  Really. Just yoga. 

I went back to my old gym once and people were like “what did you do?” 

I was like “stopped working out!”

I got leaner, stronger, and just healthier. Physically and emotionally.  I cannot believe I haven’t run a single mile in over 2 years?  I didn’t gain one pound. In fact, lost a couple. (not trying to)  Traded in cheerios and Papa Johns breadsticks for almond butter and oatmeal.  Who woulda thunk it?  Now when it’s a snowy morning… no thoughts of “oh my goodness, how can I run now??!” go through my head. I can sip my warm mug, enjoy the flakes coming down, and look forward to my oatmeal.  And maybe a yoga pose or two, or three, or a full hour.

That is EXCITING to me!! =)  What about you?

 I know I’m not alone. I went through a time when in University that I really struggled with eating and weight. I was way too skinny and worried WAY too much.  Each day is a new day and a challenge to let go of those worries and make room for GOOD stuff! 

And yes… you TOTALLY can run and do yoga!  Or walk and do yoga!  Or cycle and do yoga! 

It’s about balance and finding what works best for you.

But… I know in my heart when something is “amiss”and not healthy.  We all do.

Don’t you think the most beautiful people GLOW?  I mean, not from skin that has no zits… … but really GLOW?  I have friends who GLOW and they are a joy to be with. 

I hope that I can learn to see myself as God sees me… not my outward appearance, but my heart.  THAT is beauty! It can take a lifetime to get there.  But it’s so worth it, isn’t it? 

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Thank you Polly! You really do glow. It jumps off the page in fact.

As you can all see from reading different Journey to Health stories, everyone has their own approach to health. One size truly does not fit all. What is health for some people may not be for others. I like how Polly put it, “It’s about balance and finding out what works for you.”

Some of you are probably wondering if I am suddenly letting go of running now to pursue Yoga.

And the answer to this is NO! Absolutely not.

As long as running remains to be a positive aspect in my overall health I will most certainly be pursuing it! As Polly said, she knew that it was not working for her and so she made some important changes in her life.

What works for me may not work for you. What works for Polly may not work for you. I’m sure there are many of you out there who hate running and have no desire to start! That is just fine. The point is, we need to evaluate what will work for us in the end. We are the ones in control of our destiny and happiness as we try to become happier and healthier individuals!

It may turn out that I just can’t get into yoga….and that will be fine too. But I am sure going to give it a try! Nothing motivates me more than trying out something and realizing that I have been neglecting a whole side of my fitness (flexibility/mental well being) for years.

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Were there times in your life when you had to re-evaluate what you defined as health? Were you engaging in any forms of exercise that turned out to be destructive to yourself? How did you over come this and did it make your life better in the end?

I also have introduced a new ‘poll of the day’ feature to Oh She Glows. Nothing is off limits for the polls! I hope you will find them as interesting as I do.

Yesterday’s poll asked you if you count calories:

It was devided about half and half! The polls aren’t working at the moment, but when I looked at it yesterday it was about 50% for yes and 50% for no. I will update those results when the polls are up and running again.

Note. Poll is not working at the moment.

[polldaddy poll=1269467]

PS- Giveaway time!! Check out Jess’s Vitamin-filled giveaway contest over at Model Behavior!!!

Stay tuned tonight and tomorrow for…

• A delicious dinner
• A Nature’s Path Cereal Review
• Best and Worst dressed at the Golden Globes!! Polls too.
• Summary of my marathon training so far. My struggles, successes, etc.
• and much more…!

Continued from…Part V (a): My Road to Health

Part V(b): My Road to Health

So where was I?

Oh yes.

Be Realistic.

I asked you to do some homework. Did you make your list? I read some fabulous lists in last night’s comments.

Some snippets from the comments that made me smile:

From ‘s’: “It is possible that the number I arbitrarily picked for my goal weight may be too low”

From ‘Jenngirl‘: “I have to realize that my mind does and WILL play tricks on me. I usually can’t and shouldn’t trust what I see in the mirror, and I should NEVER base my mood for the day on that image.”

From ‘Denise‘: “Bottom line, I need to accept myself and be happy with how strong and healthy I am…even if that means I’m not a size 0 or the weight I decided would make me happy.”

Awesomeness. All of it. Each and every one of your comments were uplifting and entirely true. Haven’t made your list? Leave a comment!

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So, let’s recap:

1. When I became realistic about the expectations I had for myself and my body, the picture became much clearer. I no (I just wrote ‘know’….lack of sleep, anyone? lol) longer had a dark, storm cloud hovering over me, telling me that I had to transform myself into a superhuman weight-loss machine.

2. Because I didn’t have this immense, unrealistic pressure hovering over me, I did not feel the urge to ‘buy into’ weight loss gimmicks that promised me that I could fit into a size -3 by Friday. Sure, it would be nice to get back into your old clothes sooner rather than later, but when you take away these expectations, the urgency and desperation isn’t there. You can breathe. You can relax and know that you are taking steps in the right direction and doing your best at that given moment.

On the other hand, when the pressure is on and you are at your limit- those gimmicky fad-diets seem rather appealing, don’t they. The industry knows how the human mind works, unfortunately, and they are damn good at it.

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Ok, can we breathe a little bit better now?

1) We’ve successfully addressed and hopefully eliminated unrealistic expectations for our health, body, weight-loss, fitness, etc.

2) We no longer are tempted by fad-diets

What happened next in my Road to Health?

Well, once I did those things mentioned above, I started to see my health in a new light. I acknowledged that I may never be the perfect image that I strived for for years because- and this is the the light bulb moment here- that image doesn’t exist. Nope. Nadda. Just a dream.

A dream, that unfortunately made me very unhappy and frustrated for a long time.

Don’t get me wrong, it is scary to admit to yourself that the things you have told yourself would make you happy aren’t happening. Short of walking stilts, I will never be runway-model tall. And that is ok.

Once I focused on my strengths and made realistic goals, my road to health was no longer…. ‘how-to-get-from-point-A-to-point-B-the-fastest’….but it was a daily step in the right direction toward a better life. And a better future. Some days that step is small, and yes, some days it is a backward step if I am having a bad day, but the point is that it is a gradual movement in a positive direction.

Overtime, habits build, and our road to health feels more like a stroll on the beach rather than a rushed, frantic, run through a sea of angry faces.

 Here is how my revised, realistic expectations looked like:

• Move everyday. Make exercise fun and enjoyable. If it’s horrible, you haven’t found it yet.
• My body is strong and capable of many things. Many people would kill to be in good health. Appreciate my muscles. They will run my marathon for me in May and help me give birth to a child down the road.
• Forget about the number on the scale. Period.
• I like goals and I like challenges. A positive challenge in my life was setting my half-marathon goal this May 2009.
• Stop fighting alone. Find like-minded individuals to share your positive steps toward health with (this blog and the many fabulous blogs I read!)
• I do not come with a pre-specified calorie limit. Do I tell myself how many breaths I can take in a day? No, that’s ridiculous. How would I ever know how many I would need each day. It varies of course! How silly. Well, I found that putting a calorie limit on myself was a bit silly too. Some days I am hungrier than others, and so I eat.

Now, I am leaving you with homework #2. (All those days ‘playing school’ with my stuffed animals has really paid off, right mom??

Your homework is to write your revised, realistic expectations for yourself. It can be anything.

Anything at all.

I’d be happy to read about them in the comment section.

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If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

~Josh Billings

Miss these….?

My Road To Health: Part 1

My Road To Health: Part II

My Road To Health: Part III

My Road To Health: Part IV 

My Road To Health: Part V 

4. Be Realistic

Lose 20 pounds by Christmas! Fit into your skinny jeans by Friday!  Never Eat Again!

We’ve all seen them. The ridiculous headlines that cover magazines each week. Or the infomercials on TV. Or the advertisements. They are selling a multi-billion dollar industry to desperate individuals needing a quick fix.

I will admit, I used to be one of those desperate people who needed a quick fix. I wanted to believe that loosing 20 pounds by Christmas was a possibility or fitting into my skinny jeans could be done by Friday. Never eat again? Sure, sign me up. I really have to laugh when I look back on those days. Unrealistic expectations aren’t even the right words to describe what the weight loss industry provides our society.

And you’d think when we tried the carbon copy magazine diet and failed miserably we would realize that the 800 calorie diet was unrealistic. But we don’t, because the industry wants us to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us.

We are fat, gluttonous, and have no self control. If we did, we wouldn’t be fat and we certainly wouldn’t have any problem following this diet. Right?

Wrong.

So. Very. Wrong.

Who wants to eat grilled chicken and steamed vegetables every night? I sure don’t.

A sugar free popsicle for dessert, you say? SIGN ME THE HELL UP. I’ll buy 18 boxes of those sugar free popsicles. Aspertame, Smashpertame.

Is it any wonder that these crazy diets make men and women beeline for the nearest Pizza Hut?

So. Very. Wrong.

The whole weight-loss industry has created  morons out of innocent, other wise smart individuals.

I used to be one of those morons. Eric may argue that I still am. However, I am not a weight-loss, health, and fitness moron anymore.

As I said, I used to have very, very unrealistic expectations for myself and for my body. The best thing I ever did for myself was to let go of these unrealistic expectations.

When I did, I had to swallow a few things:

1. My arms may never be as skinny as I would like them to be. I am muscular and not a twig.
2. Repeat above, except for legs.
3. I gain weight quite easily. And no, it doesn’t come off as fast as it goes on. Ever. Not even close.
4. I have an appetite. I will never be one of those women who snack on a grape. I enjoy food, and I will eat lots of it.
5. I do not have a supermodel’s body and nor will I ever have legs as long as a giraffe. Just ain’t happening.

Admitting to yourself the lies you have told yourself for years is the first step in throwing out your unrealistic expectations.

Now you’ve got some homework to do.

Write down all of your unrealistic expectations that you’ve been holding onto for years. Make a list. Leave it in the comments if you dare.

This post will be continued tomorrow. I just got caught up in a late night infomercial for the ab-a-tron.

Just kidding.

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“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

So where did we leave off….

My Road To Health: Part 1

My Road To Health: Part II

My Road To Health: Part III

My Road to Health: Part IV

3. Focus on the Big Picture

For many years, I thought that to lose weight one had to focus on numbers. The Scale number. The Calorie number. The Fat number. The Clothing Size number. Focusing on these numbers, over time, made me a wee bit crazy. Not straight jacket crazy, but just about. I used to think that if I had rigid control over these numbers, I would achieve my desired weight. Sure, it makes sense. I mean, when it comes down to it, calories in vs. calories out will bring you to a certain weight.

But what I have learned along my journey to health is this: You can focus on numbers until you are blue in the face, but you will miss the big picture of what living a healthy lifestyle really is.

For years, my focus was so acute and narrow-minded that I was cheating myself out of knowing what achieving health really is. My thoughts were reduced to simplistic number crunching, missing the many ways that I could expand my mind and achieve health.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe that in order to lead a healthy lifestyle you should educate yourself about nutrition and fitness. I took several courses in University on Nutrition, and the knowledge that I gained from those courses was tremendous. Learning in depth about Micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, etc) and Macronutrients (Fats, Protein, Amino Acids, Water, Carbohydrates, etc) was not just fascinating, but extremely helpful in planning a healthy diet.

As I began to lose weight that I gained in university, I realized that despite achieving a healthy weight, I still did not feel like I had achieved health. My mind was still focused on those numbers, and because of this I was missing out on opportunities to grow. I was failing to see the Big Picture in terms of my health. The happiness that comes with trusting your body and taking care of all aspects of your mind, body, and soul.

Here are some helpful tips that I have learned along the way:

1. Trust Yourself. While it is beneficial to educate yourself about calories, nutrition, and portion-sizes, I don’t believe that it is beneficial (in my experience) to continue the strict process of calorie counting for life. Over the years, I learned what proper serving sizes looked like and I was able to break away from calorie counting. I learned to trust myself. It was a scary thing, to abandon it all, but it got easier over time. I now listen to my body, my hunger cues, and how I am feeling. It is amazing the things you can think about and learn when you are not focused on those numbers. Those damn numbers. Oh, and I also ditched the scale.

Yup.

Pardon my french, but that (often inaccurate) hunk of crap can stay dust-covered under the sink for all I care.

2. Find out what you are interested in, and explore it. I have always had a passion for health and fitness, and once I started to focus on expanding my knowledge base, I became extremely interested in reading: books, research articles, news stories, magazine articles. Not all of them are good, but they all teach me something. I have learned to be critical about what I read and to challenge what information is being presented. My advice is to find out what you are interested in and explore it, learn more. Knowledge is power. I have read many of Dr. Oz’s books, books on the psychology of the brain, books on Natural living, Cancer stories, and others. Each book opens my mind in new ways and excites me to see health in a different light. My favourite books are all here in my store.

By focusing on my overall health goals- where I wanted to be- I felt a greater sense of happiness and peace

3. Short term goals are good, but long term goals are better. I focused too much on short-term goals. I want to look good for this Birthday party, my vacation, etc. We’ve all done it, and to be quite honest there is nothing wrong with a little short term motivation. The problem that arises is when you only see short term goals. I have to shake my head when I see magazine covers enticing women to ‘shed 10 pounds by the holidays’ or ‘drop 10 dress sizes by Friday’. How does a crash diet fit into your goals for a healthy life? It simply doesn’t. At least not in my books. I am not trying to sound pretentious here because I have been there. I have been the girl that trys to drop a few pounds for a special occasion. What I have learned is that when I started to set long-term goals (i.e., Where do I see my health in a year? 5 years? Where do I want to be?) I became less focused on the day-to-day aspects and instead realized that despite having the occasional bad days, I am still on an upward, positive incline toward health. We all have bad days, bad weeks. I most certainly do. But once I started seeing my health as a long-term commitment, I was no longer as devestated about those tough days.

Sure my pants may feel a bit tight after the holidays, but I know long term I am still sticking to my goals and am making my best efforts to continue to lead a healthy life style. I like goals. I recently set a long term goal of completing a half-marathon this May 2009. Does this scare me? Hell yes. I am worried that I can’t do it, that my body isn’t made for running, and that I will fail. But this same fear is what inspires me. It is the inspiration of the unknown.

Can I do it? Damnit, I probably can. And I will try.

Thinking about these long-term goals take my focus off the day-to-day worries.

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I would love to hear your own experiences!
Have you given up ‘number crunching’ and felt a better sense of overall health?

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So where did we leave off….

My Road To Health: Part 1

My Road To Health: Part II

2. Get Excited About Your Sweat

Yes, your sweat. It’s a good thing (unless you are standing in front of a crowd about to give a presentation, that is). What feels better than getting into the shower after a long sweat session of your favourite workout?

Empirical research demonstrates that people who are successful in maintaining weight loss get about 60 minutes of moderate exercise (or 30 minutes of intense exercise) daily. Sixty mins. of moderate exercise might be walking, while 30 mins. of intense exercise might be running of stair climbing. I know, I know it seems like a lot. I have to do this for life?  Well, umm, that depends on whether you want to commit to a healthy lifestyle or just be able to fit into your skinny jeans by the weekend. I prefer the former. What I have learned throughout this amazing educational experience (because learning about my health has really been nothing short of an amazing process!), is that you need to ask yourself if you are willing to commit to healthy behaviours for life. When you lose ‘x‘ amount of pounds, you don’t get a ‘get out of gym’ free card and magically have the perfect weight the rest of your life. It takes daily commitment and a will to nurture your body. Sound overwhelming? Sorry, I can be a bit dramatic at times.

Now before you go deleting Oh She Glows from your blogroll or favourite’s list, wait. Stop right there. I have something that makes this a lot less overwhelming! What is it, you ask? No, it’s not Skinny Water. And no, it’s not The Cabbage Soup Diet. Or the Power Glide.

What you need is to find a way to get excited about your daily sweat sessions! I will be the first to admit it isn’t always easy. Especially, when you are sacrificing an hour’s sleep in a warm bed in the wintertime. Do you really think I was excited about going to the gym this morning when it was a frigid, God-knows-how-cold temperature in my condo? You can beat yourself up and drag yourself to the gym, but when it comes down to it, you need something else- a motivating factor- to hold your dedication day in and day out. If you can find a way to get excited about exercise you will not only feel better physically, but you will notice that exercise infiltrates into every part of your life, casting a sunny glow over your whole being.

Here are my reasons for being excited about my sweat:

1) Challenging goals. No, the same monotonous 30 min. treadmill workout everyday for the rest of your life doesn’t look appealing to me either! Expand your exercise horizons, mix it up! Challenge yourself! I make sure that I don’t do the same workout for longer than a couple of weeks. If I have been doing the Elliptical at intensity 7 for a couple of weeks, it is time to make it harder. The body is extremely good at becoming efficient. I recently set a goal of completing a half marathon. Now, my indoor treadmill workouts have a whole other meaning (aside from winter captivity!). I no longer see my treadmill workouts as restricting (i.e., I can’t go outside because of the cold), but I see it as a catalyst to improving my conditioning over the winter as I train for outdoor Spring running. Make a list on Sunday nights of the different workouts you will do that week. Write down your goals.

Find a way to challenge yourself. Like hockey, but never did anything about it? Sign up for a pick-up women’s league. Always wanted to learn how to ski? Hit the slopes with a few other beginners. Did you love when Jennifer Lopez trained for the triathlon? Sign up for a mini triathlon! Convinced that you are ‘clutzy‘ and could never get the hang of yoga? Try a beginners class and surprise yourself! Who knows, if you like it, you could set a goal of trying an intermediate yoga class in as little as 1 month!

When you challenge yourself and find yourself surpassing your goals (oh, and you will), your confidence increases, not only in the domain of exercise, but in all areas of your life. You will walk with a little bounce to your step after that scary aerobics class or the new speed run. The question is- what would you do if you thought you could do anything? Because this is how true athletes think. There are no boundaries on what you are capable of, unless you set them yourself.

2) Accessorize your workouts:

I always have to have something fun when I workout. A chocolate bar, you ask? Crap, are there cameras in my gym!? All joking aside, I like bringing my favourite magazine with me to the gym to read. I also like loading up my ipod with some great new songs and pumping the tunes (Womanizer is still in my head from this morning’s workout!). I also like new gizmos to motivate me (Heart Rate Monitor or Pedometer will do the trick) and keep the workouts interesting (Workout DVD’s are on my Christmas list!). And let’s never underestimate the power of looking good when you sweat. Yes, fitness wear can add a little spice to your daily workout! Show off that bod and give yourself a little wink in the mirror. You lookin damn fine today baby!  You know you do! It’s funny how even just changing up what you wear can inspire your sweat session. I had been wearing the same pants and few raggedy-old t-shirts for a long time just out of habit. I realized that I had some old workout tops that I had forgotten about and were still nice. Just putting on a new shirt made that workout feel special and new.

3) Find the Time of Day that works for you:

I can’t tell you how many times I have read articles about the best time of day to workout. Let me tell it to you straight up. The best time of day for you to workout is the one that you enjoy the most! If you hate early mornings, then early morning workouts probably won’t make you giggle with glee when your alarm goes off in the mornings. I know many people who workout much more effectively in the evening or afternoon. Do what works for you! I found out early on that I was a morning exerciser. If I don’t get my workout in in the morning, I lose my energy to do it. Everyone is different. Do what makes you happy and do what you will most be able to stick with for the long haul. I know what you are thinking, “‘x’ article told me that if I worked out on an empty stomach first thing in the morning I would burn more fat!’ Possibly true. But the difference that this would make is negligible. What matters is that you are finding an exercise time that works for you. Don’t worry about what the latest fitness article is telling you is best.

Once you find this time, pencil it in! Make exercise a habit in your life. You wouldn’t think of not brushing your teeth now would you?

Ok, that wraps up this segment of My Road to Health! I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings so far. I look forward to reading your comments and questions!

How do you get excited about exercise?

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 If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

~Albert Einstein