Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.
Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.
The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!
“Looks good to me”, I say with a nod then disappear from the room.
Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.
“Pete had a good laugh today.”
“Oh yea?”
“We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”
“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”
That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”
“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”
I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.
“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”
I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.
“You’re fired.”
I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.
As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.
Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.
Featuring all new, protein-packed salads, hearty toppers, flavour boosters, and dressings you'll want to drink, my new cookbook will transform the way you think about salads. Oh, and be sure to flip to the back for a surprise dessert chapter!
Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)
Yield
3 cups
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.
Ingredients
- 1 cup kale
- 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
- 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
- 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
- Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
- 4-5 Ice cubes
- Protein powder, optional
Directions
- Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.
- Guzzle.
- Feel amazing.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.
Oh my gosh that is so funny!! I have cut my Husbands hair from time to time and he always tells me I do it lope sided. lol, I can’t make a straight line on anything no matter how hard I try, whether it’s drawing, gardening, cutting fabric, cutting out cookies, or cutting hair. So odd! Sorry for the rambling! The Back on Track Green Monster drink sounds amazing!!
Haha that’s too funny! I’ve never tried cutting someone else’s hair because one time in third grade I wanted bangs, so I cut some for myself and obviously they turned out terrible! I haven’t trusted myself around hair since then. :P
Hahaha, this post had me laughing because I used to cut my husband’s hair as well, and I believe he had the same scenario happen where a work buddy pointed out my craftsmanship (or lack thereof). He now shaves his head, and I don’t have to worry about it, although he tries to even get me to do that for him!
I love that there are no bananas in this smoothie. My daughter is allergic, and I can often feel the effects of too much sugar if I eat them consistently. :-)
I cut my husband’s hair, too. There was a sketchy time in there after I accidentally cut his ear… We use a sheet to cover him & catch hair – it now has a bloodstain that won’t come out, a constant reminder of what I did! But he still let’s me cut it. Brave man.
Just made this . . . I forgot how much I loved ginger in smoothies. Thanks and have a great weekend:)
Hi Angela!
This was funny! My hubby usually cuts his own, but occasionally he’s had me do that straight line in the back — nerve racking!! This smoothie sounds similar to the one I make — it’s the Dr Oz Green Drink — kale would be a good substitute when I’m out of spinach! Anyway, I LOVE YOUR website!!!!!!! No wonder you’re so popular!!! I’ve seen links in a million places to you, but I finally got to checking it out and I’ve already found 10+ recipes that all seem like ones I MUST try! Amazing that you were posting 3x a day for at least a year (maybe it was much more?!) !!! You’re very creative and entertaining and I really admire your work!!! As a person with a passion for helping people be healthier, I thank you for spreading SO much health around the world!!!! Hope you’re enjoying your day! And if you care to, I would love if you stop by www.fresh-you.com to see my humble little site of nutrition and wellness! Take care! I’ll be back soon AND OFTEN!!!!
Sincerely,
Colleen :)
Hey Colleen, Thank you so much for leaving me such a lovely comment! I’m so happy to hear you enjoy the blog. I will be sure to check out your site!
What kind of coconut oil do you prefer to use?
I use one from Costco – it’s organic cold-pressed unrefined.
I’m always looking for banana free smoothie ideas because sometimes you just start to feel like you eat way too many bananas. At least I do. Thanks for this! I also do haircuts mostly for the men in my life, and I’m always terrified of the back too!! And around the ears. Glad you sorted the line out ;)
that looks so good. I’m craving a green smoothie now!
have you heard about making your own VEGAN BUTTER?
http://www.veganbaking.net/fats/vegan-butters/735-vegan-butter
Yes!! I have been meaning to try it out :) So fun
Just made this after an awesome leisurely 13 K , gorgeous run…I too added fresh coconut water…I use to hairdress,,,now I only get stuck with one gorwn kid(he doesn’t like to spend the $$ on an actual hairdresser) and the hubby,,,hair every where,,,then I feel like I have to clean the whole house!
Bwahahahahaaahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I laughed hysterically when I read this! I was actually just talking to my sis-in-law earlier this evening about how I cut my hubs hair too. I am totally with you when it came to the first time…I was terrified. I was so frickin’ scared I was going to hurt him I about had a heart attack. Luckily, we haven’t had any mishaps yet…but it would be kinda funny if we did! ;)
Best of luck to you….hahah
Hi, Angela! I always love to see your blog!
My sister doesn’t like banana, so I’m going to try this one ;)
I have been using Kale in my smoothies for about a year now. I always feel like I am have a super health drink when I do this. I am sure it is healthy, but I like the mental feeling I get, if that makes since. Of course yours looks way better than mine, so I will have to give it a try. :)
Hahaha poor Eric! But they always come back…;) I love my green monsters with banana, definitely not a hater!
Can’t wait to try this. Is this a serving for one? Or more?
My boyfriend has super curly hair, I will NOT be cutting it any time soon haha.
I definitely need to get back on track after the holiday weekend! I recently tried kale for the first time and liked it, but still haven’t put it in a green smoothie. Need to do this soon!
yummm i get a juice from this local cafe thats apple kale ginger and lemon and its uhhhmazing! i cant wait to make this!
Guzzle and feel amazing, awesome
P.S. I cut my own hair and it looks horrendous haha
This is great!! I used spinach instead of the kale, and I used extra spinach because I didn’t have any cucumbers on hand. I also added 1 fresh pineapple core, used honey instead of the maple syrup, and ground ginger because i didn’t have fresh, and added some cayenne pepper! I also added water to this. Invigorating!