If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s that we all suffer. We all triumph. We face obstacles in our lives and encounter things that throw us off our course and challenge our inner strength. That’s life, with the lesson often seen in retrospect. Without the difficult times, there would be no great times. Everything would just seem flat and uneventful, plain and boring.
There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.
This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.
But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?
Would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them?
When I was unhappy with my research career, all I could think about was how much I screwed up my life. I went to university for 7 years training as a researcher only to discover that I basically loathed it. So many days I would curse myself for making such a huge mistake in my life and going down the wrong path.
My negative thoughts were so powerful, I almost convinced myself that it was better to just live the rest of my life unfulfilled than face the alternative (change). I told myself that I could do what I wanted when I retired. I was 25 years old at the time!
That’s when I realized that I could rot in my own negativity or I could see things in a different light. Instead of cursing myself and “mistakes” (I’d rather call them “learning experiences”), I searched for lessons and meaning.
What was my unhappiness trying to tell me?
How was this discomfort nudging me to make a change in my life?
Without taking the wrong career path, I wouldn’t have found the happiness I have with my career today. I started this blog as a hobby while I worked as a researcher. It was something I could work on during my own free time and it brought me so much happiness that I spent most of my free time working on it. What started as a distraction from my real life became the thing that gave me life.
Little did I know, this hobby would not only serve as the catalyst for eventually leaving my unfulfilling career and starting my own business, but it would also lead me to discover my real passions in life.
Most surprisingly of all, I now see struggles in a new light. Instead of cursing an uncomfortable time, I see it as a message to change. Whether I listen or not is up to me.
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Previous Daily Glow posts: What is Daily Glow?, Graduation Fears, The Silly Things We Say, Do What You Can…Today, What’s Your 6-Word Love Story?, Without Self-Love, I Have Nothing., Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, Kicking the Pop Habit: Eric 1 Year Later, Weekend Inspiration
Beautiful words and a precious lesson for all of us to learn or ponder. Thanks for continuing to share your journey!
Lovely post! It brings to mind a favorite saying: with every obstacle comes an opportunity. The trick is in finding the opportunity and acting on it…
I love that saying too!
Thank-you for this! “The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot.” – So profound!
I’m sitting in my office (at a job I’m so unhappy at), tears welling up… I’m at that point in my life right now, and having to make change. It’s so scary right now, but hearing you have gone through that and come out happy gives me hope!
Goodluck Rachel…hugs!
You would be a great yoga teacher. I plan to share this message tonight when I teach.
You always seem to post things like this EXACTLY when I need to be reminded of them! Self-compassion, Anxiety, Negativity… you name it. I’ve recently had a hard time staying positive even though I’m in an amazing place and lucky to have an amazing opportunity, and this post reminds me that the choice to be negative about something is my own. Thank you for your wisdom!
thanks for this. i’ve recently been in a really really tough situation and sometimes it has to get really awful for me to find that inner resilience that I know is there. sometimes you just can’t change a situation, but you can find ways to make it better or change your mindset.
Hey Angela,
Have you ever read the book “The Missing Piece” by Shel Silverstein? This post reminded me a lot of the overall message of that short story. Also, this quote by Anne Roiphe sums it up perfectly, “”This fable can also be interpreted to mean that no one should try to find all the answers, no one should hope to fill all the holes in themselves, achieve total transcendental harmony or psychic order because a person without a search, loose ends, internal conflicts and external goals becomes too smooth to enjoy or know what’s going on. Too much satisfaction blocks exchange with the outside.” We have to make mistakes to appreciate successes. I remind myself of this ALL the time.
I haven’t but it sounds right up my alley. Thanks for the recommendation! I love that quote.
Yep, and the moments that are really a struggle, seem to really lead to the opposite; empowerment and wisdom. Is that the beauty of life? I think it is one of the main components.
It is truly beautiful.
So. True.
Sometimes the smallest things bring us the most joy and fulfillment. It is good to like what you are becoming : )
This post is so inspirational Angela! A bright spot in the day. Thank you for sharing your positive light on a tough situation.
So true – and very important to keep in mind!! You are quite the inspiration :)
Angela, it sounds like you went through exactly what I’m going through now. I’m in my second year of a research PhD and I despise it. I’m currently gearing up to tell my professor I’m leaving at the end of the year. So scary! Thanks for the reminder to look for the positives in the situation :)
Perfect timing! I’m currently going through some struggles in my life, so thank you for this post. Very well-put. I need to remember that things can get better, as long as I learn from my mistakes and continue to grow. Hopefully I can keep this in mind!
I definitely agree with looking for the positive in difficult situations but I also believe in giving yourself the permission to feel whatever emotions are coming to you at a particular moment in time. I think before you can move on and see the good in something you have to acknowledge how you feel. I think too many times people try to bottle up emotions rather than acknowledging them and it can make things worse. It’s okay to not feel great all the time.
Also, I think it’s important to acknowledge the benefit of hindsight. I think often it’s easy to look back and see how things that seemed terrible at the time really helped us grow in a positive way, but it’s much more challenging to acknowledge it in the moment.
That’s such a great point!
I am so happy for you that you are now on the life path that feels better, right, and makes you…happier!
Silver lining, blessings in disguise…sometimes at the time things feel so wrong and that everything is such a struggle but in your case, the struggles led to something great…and in the process you’ve reached millions!! of other people via your blog and no doubt helped them with your recipes, ideas, and thoughts :)
So true! I love your post Angela. Sometimes I’m so unsatisfied with my “job” but then there are other times that I’m happy it’s allowed me to do other things. I’m so back and forth with it. I’ve actually decided to change my career path (or at least try to) after I get married in 7 months. I figured I’d wait so I don’t have to add extra stress to wedding planning ;)
Absolutely love your post. I recently quit my job and started my own business. I have been wanting to do that for a couple of years now, but was scared of the risks it involved. Finally, eight months ago I made the decision, and now I am one happy person. I love what I am doing now and it gives me immense satisfaction.
love your post! everythings so true!
btw random ? but do you know any good zucchini bread recipes but a savory kind? like onion and all that stuff in it, ive been on a mission to find out and i try so many and just always missin something different ugh
Fantastic post and amazing points. Light always out shines the dark… always!! It just does not seem like it at the time always.
(I loved your oprah quotes last week from FB.) :) :) :)