If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s that we all suffer. We all triumph. We face obstacles in our lives and encounter things that throw us off our course and challenge our inner strength. That’s life, with the lesson often seen in retrospect. Without the difficult times, there would be no great times. Everything would just seem flat and uneventful, plain and boring.
There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.
This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.
But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?
Would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them?
When I was unhappy with my research career, all I could think about was how much I screwed up my life. I went to university for 7 years training as a researcher only to discover that I basically loathed it. So many days I would curse myself for making such a huge mistake in my life and going down the wrong path.
My negative thoughts were so powerful, I almost convinced myself that it was better to just live the rest of my life unfulfilled than face the alternative (change). I told myself that I could do what I wanted when I retired. I was 25 years old at the time!
That’s when I realized that I could rot in my own negativity or I could see things in a different light. Instead of cursing myself and “mistakes” (I’d rather call them “learning experiences”), I searched for lessons and meaning.
What was my unhappiness trying to tell me?
How was this discomfort nudging me to make a change in my life?
Without taking the wrong career path, I wouldn’t have found the happiness I have with my career today. I started this blog as a hobby while I worked as a researcher. It was something I could work on during my own free time and it brought me so much happiness that I spent most of my free time working on it. What started as a distraction from my real life became the thing that gave me life.
Little did I know, this hobby would not only serve as the catalyst for eventually leaving my unfulfilling career and starting my own business, but it would also lead me to discover my real passions in life.
Most surprisingly of all, I now see struggles in a new light. Instead of cursing an uncomfortable time, I see it as a message to change. Whether I listen or not is up to me.
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Previous Daily Glow posts: What is Daily Glow?, Graduation Fears, The Silly Things We Say, Do What You Can…Today, What’s Your 6-Word Love Story?, Without Self-Love, I Have Nothing., Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, Kicking the Pop Habit: Eric 1 Year Later, Weekend Inspiration
First off Angela, I’d like to thank you for this blog. Your recipes are amazing and inspiring. I’ve introduced a number of my friends to your site and we all love it!
This topic is similar to something that my husband wrote in his blog today. Circumstances beyond our control sometimes cause us to change the direction in our lives… often with positive consequences!
LOVED this post and I absolutely couldn’t agree more with what you said here!
Beautiful message! Though it’s definitely hard sometimes to find the good in a bad situation, it’s always easy to look back & see what wonderful event came of it. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, & I couldn’t be happier with everything I’ve been blessed with :)
Have a beautiful day, Angela!
I was just talking to my best friend about this last night. How I feel like I screwed myself over, going 6 years of schooling for engineering to find out that I really dont like the jobs that it has to offer me! Thank you for reinstating hope in the future that I might one day find something that I love to do, and that I’m not trapped. Because I am 24 right now, and I was thinking the same thing you were thinking!
Very true. I’m trying to practise a combination of patience and forward thinking in my current situation. I find that talking with others who have gone/are going through a difficult situation (but are also staying positive with a plan of attack) is really useful. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog!
Amazing post! I definetly needed to read something like this today :)
I can really relate to this post, having recently left my 9-5 to pursue freelance work and writing (via my blog). I was very unhappy for a couple of years in my career and I’m not one of those people who can compartmentalize things, so it took a big toll on all aspects of my life. It took me a solid year to figure out what I could do to create a happier life, and moving all the way across the country to push myself out of my comfort zone and realize what truly matters to me.
It’s a slow process figuring out what’s next and determining how I’ll get there, but the biggest thing I realized this year is that I don’t have to have everything figured out. Rather than letting fear of the unknown paralyze me, I can take small steps every day to create a more fulfilling career, relationship, etc. I’m getting there. :)
You have totally hit it head on with this post. One of the most difficult (and traumatic) experiences of my life resulted in years of recovery time, but once I did, I learned the most important lesson of all. I could continue on feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in my misery over my reluctance to simply accept what had happened, or I could do just that, accept what happened and move forward. I chose the latter, but it took almost 10 years for me to reach that point. Now, when I do tell the story, it always ends with my admission of learning the most valuable lessons of my life because of it. The saying “every cloud has a silver lining” is true, but you have to be willing to see it.
I’m so happy to hear that you’ve chosen to move forward despite your struggles, and I’m sure, sharing your story with others is part of the healing process.
Thanks for the inspirational post Angela, I too needed to read that today. It can be so hard to be positive amongst the bad times but that is when it is more vital than ever. Finding myself in a new job that I dislike, just like the previous god-knows-how-many office jobs I’ve hated I know I’m going to have to dig deep for the positives and get myself through this into a better situation.
I think one of the best side effects of positive thinking is the increase in self belief that it gives us – when we see we can get ourselves through the tough times, it shows our true strength and ability to take on more than we ever thought.
Well done for trusting yourself enough to go for what you wanted, and for allowing yourself to leave behind the things that you knew were making you miserable, I hope I can do the same! x
I couldn’t agree more with you doll!! I think you set a path for a lot of other women who are struggling like you once were and you can show them how you can live a passion~ful, purposeful life!! We all deserve it! That is a lot of the struggle…we don’t believe we deserve it…but we do :)
xxoo
I think one of the main reasons I was drawn to blogging was finding people who had similar experiences and could help me grow as a person. This was just the post I needed to read today. I struggled to stay focused at work this morning in my job that I don’t love. I am actively pursuing other options, but sometimes its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for reminding me to take one step at a time and focus on all of the positives that will come out of every situation.
amen to that! we can look back at our struggles and see how far we’ve come, the strength we found through it, and the people who NEVER LET US GO! I am grateful for that as well.
I love Daily Glow posts! I’m always inspired by how you can make the most of any situation.
Another well-timed post during a difficult time in my career (and by extension personal) life as well. I think I know what I need to do (feelings of crisis ebb and flow at random), but in order to not burn bridges and save some money before my transition, I’m stuck in a job that no longer feeds me. This past week I’ve forgotten to stay focused on the positive as I’ve sunk deeper into boredom and the black hole of feeling like I’m wasting my time and life. Thank you so much for the reminder to refocus on the growth that is blossoming from the challenges. You’re absolutely right and such an inspriration!
Thanks for posting this Angela! Like many of the other women who have commented, I’m in a similar situation at a job I really don’t like. I’m applying to graduate school in something I really love, but it’s hard to stay positive and patient while I’m taking small steps to change things. Your post reminded me of a quote that a few friends have posted on facebook:
“View your life With Kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking: ‘What was I thinking?’ breathe and ask yourself ‘What was I learning?'” – notsalmon.com
Thank you for such a real/positive post! I didnt have the money/lived in the wrong countries to go to college and had to wait until I was 24. I felt bad in one way- but in another I’m blessed as who KNOWs what I would have thought to study at 18- something my parents would have asked me to for sure!
I’ve been wishing and waiting for another “daily glow series”. I’m sure that while blogging about such topics are therapeutic for you and help you zone in on your growth as a reader they have a major uplifting effect…one that can’t be beat! Seeing the progress another person has made is sometimes the best kind of medicine. I look forward to reading more Angela :)
You have such a great grasp on this Angela. I sometimes falter in my ability to look on the bright side in general, but the positive in a negative? That’s even tougher. You inspire me to stretch my mind and soul. <–sounds cheesy, but it's true!
Thank you for your inspirational words Angela! I’m struggling after recently receiving excruciating news – I read your blog everyday, and today I found hope and comfort in your words at a time when I need them most. Thank you.
I also found Cheryl’s comment uplifting; thanks Cheryl.
“I think one of the best side effects of positive thinking is the increase in self belief that it gives us – when we see we can get ourselves through the tough times, it shows our true strength and ability to take on more than we ever thought.”
I used to be really negative too as I have a lot of anxiety and it just created all of this negativity. Then I realized that I really liked spending time with people who were super positive and realized that it was infectious! So then I started deliberately changing every negative thought into a positive one; even if it seemed stupid. Now I generally find that my first instinct is to think positively rather than negatively.
It takes time to retrain our brains but it’s so worth it! All of a sudden your life will turn and you’ll realize you controlled your happiness all along! Thanks for the post Angela, I’m so glad you’re doing what you love to do :).