On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Happy 2nd Blog Anniversary! I discovered your blog a while ago from Glamour magazine’s Vitamin G column. I love anything that has to do with healthy, wholesome food. That is one of my passions in life.
I have struggled with low self-esteem and disordered eating for much of my life. I am very happy to now say that I believe the worst is behind me – that I am appreciating myself, grateful for the strength of my own body, and am excited about my new adventurous, no-fear-of-failure spirit. One of the most helpful things someone said to me during my process of healing was that low self-esteem was not the problem, but the problem was that, “You do not trust your own RESILIENCY”. Something about this reframe was very powerful for me – focusing more on my inherent strength rather than my perceived flaws. I have repeated this statement over and over many times during my process of growth, and am proud to have realized that yes, while I might not always succeed, I know that I have the strength to handle and grow from whatever curveballs life throws my way.
Thank you for being such a great blogger. <3 your blog
Happy blog birthday! Starting my blog has really kept me on the right track towards overcoming my eating obstacles. For the past couple of years, I have fought to overcome obsessive calorie counting and restrictive behaviors after dropping 30 pounds and becoming dangerously thin. I was inspired to start Tasty and Trim a couple of months ago through reading blogs, such as your own, and seeing how many other women have overcome their eating issues. I have made more progress in the past couple of months than I had in the entire 6 months prior to blogging. Thank you so much for the constant inspiration!
happy birthday osg! over the last couple years, I’ve noticed changes in myself, and i think alot of credit goes to discovering the blog world–there are SO many inspiring women out there. i’ve always been very career driven–college, law school, work, etc–you name it. i was so focused on succeeding that sometimes i forgot to ask myself if i was happy. recently i’ve become to appreciate free time, spending time outside, and just relaxing, not feeling like i need to be ‘go go go’ all the time. appreciating the small things, if you will.
thanks angela for your great writing and putting your heart (and delicious food) out there! :)
Congrats on this milestone, I’m so happy for you (:
To be honest with you, I’m still unsure of what I am most passionate in life. But that is what the journey of life is, right? But I can tell you what I love about myself, the fact that I can easily forgive people, I just can’t hold a grudge against anyone.
happy 2 years! i recently moved across the country by myself to pursue graduate school, and it has just been the best thing. i have time to write, think, hike, cook fun (now vegetarian) meals for myself, and enjoy them. as cliche as it sounds (and probably is), i’m on a fulfilling road of self-discovery right now.
One of the biggest things ive learned about myself is that im still learning! When your young and immature you think you know everything about everything, the older you get the more you realize you still have a long way to go!
Happy 2nd Blog Birthday OSG!
I’m definitely still discovering and going after my passions. I’m a SAHM with two children. My oldest is very challenging, but also very passionate. Over the last year I have been working on the best ways to deal with him and help him, and while it has been difficult, I think he and I have come a long way, and I know I am becoming the mother that he needs. I’ve also followed my passion for running and have completed 3 marathons and 3 half-marathons. Lastly, I’ve decided that I would like to be certified as a personal trainer and have begun working towards this goal.
My journey… I decided about this time last year to go vegetarian and slowly work my way towards going vegan. Though my intentions were good, it came from a place of restricting and excluding and exerting control. Then I found OSG in April and it changed everything! You’ve helped me to see the importance of eating a certain way because I value my body and I care about what I put into it. You’ve also helped me to see that it’s not about weight or size, it’s about saving lives (one cow or chicken at a time :-) ) I’ve become so much more comfortable with my new way of eating and care so much less about what others think. Thanks Angela, for making vegan cool! Congrats on 2 AMAZING years of writing your heart out!
Happy Blog-Birthday, OSG! I love reading your blog, Angela!
My own journey is still in progress. I’m learning things about myself, the world we live in, the food that nourishes the body, and what it means to have BALANCE in my life. Your blog is an inspiration! <3
Congrats Angela! I look forward to reading your blog and seeing your wonderful outlook on life along with your balance of play and work. I am trying to acheive a better and healthier balance in my own life and I find inspiration in your posts. Thank you!
Congratulations on your “birthday” Angela. You are an amazing woman!
Like you, I have struggled with food issues and body image all my life. It’s been only in the last couple years that I have finally grown to really love this body. I think it starts happening once you hit the late twenties! (we are the same age)….I have re-discovered my passions for running and weight lifting, gourmet cooking and wine. Now I eat and run to my heart’s content and love every second!! :-)
Congratulations on two years as an amazing blogger! Your blog reminds me daily how wonderful it is to eat healthy food that nourishes my body and gives me fuel to do the things I love. Thank you for all the inspiration!
Happy Blog Birthday!! You really have inspired me to find love for myself and become passionate about living my healthiest life. I look forward to reading your posts everyday :)
Wow 2 years, that’s amazing. Congrats! I’ve been enjoying every minute of my bloggin journey which is coming up on 1 year in November. It’s crazy how time flies by quickly.
Hi Angela, I’m de-lurking myself here. :) I’ve been reading for about 6 months now. Thank you so much for your beautiful blog. And Happy Birthday, OSG! I’m mid-journey at the moment and your blog is so inspirational. I look forward to it every day. I also have this strange new urge to photograph my meals sometimes! Hehe I feel the way you describe your own feelings 2 years ago: ” Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside.” I’m learning to love myself and trying to appreciate the journey despite the hard times, reminding myself that the hard times are what helps me grow.
Thank you so much for sharing you. :)
Happy anniversary! You inspire me with every post. Angie
I find you SO inspiring! Happy 2nd Birthday! My passion over the next year will be training for my first Ironman… looking forward to fueling my workouts with your recipes & treats!
Happy 2nd birthday OSG!
I would love to be entered for the giveaway. This summer I have finally found a passion in running. Before, I ran purely for exercise and hated it, but suddenly this summer I took my running outdoors and got hooked! I love the great feeling you get after a nice run.