Greetings!
Yesterday, was quite the interesting day and I am glad I finally have a chance to sit down and write about it.
The sun finally peaked out just before lunch hour yesterday. Actually, it wasn’t just peaking out, it was glorious outside. I was so excited to get out there and go for a run after a week of rain and cold.
Before I left, I had a raw and gluten-free Glo Bar for fuel, since I would not be having my lunch until I returned.
I am finally in love with this bar with 100% of my heart and it feels so good. I will be announcing the release date on Tuesday!
I got my running stuff on, including my favourite Lululemon mesh shape jacket.
However, about 15 minutes into the run, I got really warm. I decided to put my jacket by the woods under a couple of sticks. I would pick it up when I returned. There was this gravel pull-over spot where fishers sometimes stop to go fishing in the creek below, so it was probably about 30 feet away from the road and the jacket wasn’t very visible. I also moved a bigger stick over top of it in case the wind blew hard at some point.
Then I was off for the rest of my run! I was super happy on this run for a few reasons:
- The sun and warmth
- My groin was 100% pain free and remained that way after each mile
- I didn’t feel as winded on this run as the other night
I rocked the hills…
and I was just feeling all around good.
After going out and back for about 25 minutes, I returned to where I dropped off my Lululemon jacket.
It was gone.
There was also a car parked about 15 feet away from where I dropped my jacket and I assumed that it was a fisherman who had parked and gone to the creek.
But I didn’t see anyone fishing.
I looked around for 10-15 more seconds and I did not see the jacket anywhere. Then, I noticed that someone was sitting in the car.
I decided to ask the person in the car if they had seen my jacket, but I kept back at least 6 feet from the car. There was a man in the car and I instantly regretted approaching the car at all. Instantly my guard went up, like hairs going up on a dogs back. I asked if he had seen a yellow jacket, and he said no, but there was just something very in strange about his response. He did not seem genuine, or at least, that was what my instincts were telling me. I said thanks anyways and I started to distance myself from the car about 20 feet or so, and then the man got out of the car, through the passenger side door which was facing the woods. Something about that was very strange to me. The man started looking for the jacket.
My gut was telling me one thing and one thing only- something is not right here. My body was screaming loud and clear, so I listened. I remember watching an Oprah show years and years ago on self-defense, and the man on the show said that women often get into trouble when they don’t listen to their gut feeling. I decided to listen, so I took off running.
Not more than a minute after I left, the man in his car drove by and continued on his way, wherever he was going. I didn’t make eye contact.
Adrenaline was pumping through my veins as I ran home. I was angry. I was upset. I was cursing being a woman and having to go through life feeling vulnerable and scared. I started thinking about all kinds of reasons that man was there in his car and why my jacket went missing. I tried to reassure myself that it was just a coincidence, but I couldn’t deny the feeling I had about the whole thing. The whole way home I watched my back and looked for his car, but did not see it. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being followed.
I got home and the first thing I did was call the local police. Note, I did not call 911- I called the non-emergency number. I didn’t think I was in immediate danger, but I wanted to report what happened because I did feel like it was suspicious and who knows, maybe someone else called in something similar, you never know.
The lady I spoke with said that someone would check the area, and then a couple hours later a policeman ended up coming to our house to speak with me. He said that you should always, always report something that you feel is suspicious and he said I did the right thing. He told me a couple things that made me feel better:
- He said the area we live in is very, very safe and generally I don’t have anything to worry about (but obviously no one knows for sure)
- He said since Ontario banned the use of cell phones in vehicles, many people are pulling off to the side of the road to make a call, at what seems to be, very random places. He said they see all kinds of cars pulled over in strange areas since the implementation of this law.
So yes, it could have been something very innocent, or it could have not. I was not going to take the chance and find out. For a split second I hesitated and I actually tried to deny what my gut was telling me. I think women do this A LOT for fear of insulting the other person or making them feel badly. For a split second, I thought, ‘If I run away this man is going to feel badly!’, but I had to ignore that thought. Women are naturally people pleasers. We are always, always thinking about other people first.
Well, I think we need to put an end to that NOW.
No one else is going to look after our safety except us!
Maybe that man did feel bad that I took off or maybe he was embarrassed that I seemed scared of him, but that is not my problem. My focus is keeping myself safe first and foremost.
Morale of the story: Trust your gut, always. If the hairs on your back go up and you feel uncomfortable leave the scene immediately!
A few things I learned from this situation that I wanted to share with you:
- Never, ever approach a car. Thinking about it in retrospect makes me feel like a fool for what I did. Even though I stayed back a good 6-7 feet from the car, I should have never approached a suspicious vehicle (or any vehicle). Do not make the same mistake as me!
- Do not abandon layers while on a run. If someone does have bad motives and they see a piece of women’s workout clothing left somewhere, it could be an invitation for trouble. I will never leave a piece of clothing on the road again.
- Think about safety options to carry with you on your run. Eric and I are going to pick up a couple things today (I will blog about what I get) and I will be doing my long runs with him (on bike) for the next while. My shorter runs will be run in busier neighbourhoods.
Some of the things I already do when going on a run:
- Let Eric know when I am leaving, when I plan to return, and the route I am taking (ALWAYS!)
- I carry ID
- I carry my cell phone
It was a bittersweet run because the run itself was actually the best one I have had in over 6 weeks!
I did just over 8 miles in about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Dwight says 7.58 miles, but that is because I was running with my watch paused for about 1/2 a mile. I felt really strong on this run and it made me feel much more confident about my half marathon on May 30th.
Today’s question: Do you feel like women have a 6th sense when it comes to potentially dangerous situations? Have you ever listened to your gut and got out of a bad situation? Do you carry any safety devices when running?
{ 126 comments… read them below or add one }
wow first comment! goodness angela, what a day you had. i am so so so glad you trusted your instincts and got home safely. wow. that man is beyond creepy! gives me the heebie jeebies just picturing the situation, maybe it’s because you described it so well.
it’s true about what people say about women being people pleasers… even though i am an incredibly selfish young adult compared to some women, i find myself saying yes quite a bit…
Glad you’re still safe, be careful
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading this! So glad you are ok, Angela!!!
Thank goodness you are safe!!! I never had anything like that happen to me. Yeah,you should trust your guts! Thanks for sharing this with us-I will definitely be morebcareful from now on!stay safe Angela!
That is so odd that you mention the show with Oprah and trusting your gut instincts because just a few weeks ago, i left my house before the sun rose and before i got to my car, i saw a man or someone ducking behind a car a few rows next to mine, like crouching/hiding. IMMEDIATELY, i thought of THAT SAME SHOW and i hauled ass back to my apartment. i looked through my window and realized it was just the guy upstairs putting stuff into his truck to go fishing, so i felt kind of dumb, but then i realize how good it is that i am aware and trust myself when something doesn’t feel right. it could have easily been someone hiding, ready steal my car or kidnap me!! it’s not like i live in safetown, usa.
i’m glad you’re ok! sad about the jacket:(
I have also had things like that happen to me too that turned out to be innocent, but we never know, and why take that chance?
It’s funny that you remember the Oprah show too. It doesn’t surprise me though, that was one of the most memorable things I have ever seen on TV that has stuck with me to this day.
I wrote it about here: http://www.raspberrystethoscope.com/2010/04/st-anthonys-triathlon-2010-recap-part-1.html but i didn’t mention that the first thing I thought of was OPRAH because i thought it sounded funny, lmao!!
I too, remember that Oprah show, and since moving to a different – bigger province now that I have a car I am completely aware of people near me, or near my car. When I see someone strange walking by my car as soon as I jump in, I lock the doors :/
I had goosebumps reading your blog entry Angela, you described it so vividly. I’m so glad you’re alright!!
i remember that oprah show too! and she talked about how if you are kidnapped, never let yourself be taken to a second location.
Yup there was some crazy statistic about it too…about the women who let the man take them to the second location and only a minute amount end up living to tell the story. Your chances of survival drop significantly if you let them take you somewhere.
Oh Angela, I’m so sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing, though, and it’s better to be careful the next few weeks until you feel settled down.
Something similar happened to me a couple of weeks ago on my regular morning run–a really creepy guy on a bike kept riding around me, slowing down and gawping. Then he’d ride ahead, get off the bike, and expose himself to me. I never ran home faster than that day. The thing is, I was scared afterwards but I was mostly angry at having to deal with such nonsense, just because I’m a woman. I reported it and such, but I’m running elsewhere from now on, where there are more people around.
Definitely will be thinking of getting something to carry, so I can’t wait for that post…
That is horrible!!! That would freak me out. I am so glad you reported it.
angela, i am SO GLAD that you’re safe. I’ve seriously been worried and thinking about it since yesterday when i saw your tweets about it! i’m super cautious all the time…i always have been, but my best friend went through something horrible, and since then i’ve been even more wary. it sucks, but i’d rather be safe than sorry. be careful out there sweetie! :)
Glad you are ok. :( Sorry that happened to you too.
I found a really cool bear spray that has a little handle thing on it, so I just put it on my hand when i’m walking/running – or I just put it in my pocket…
glad you are safe and sound though, that guy sounds like a creaper.
I was thinking about bear spray because mace is illegal here…
Yah, the level of bear spray you can get here they said is good for humans, so so for animals… There was another option (I can’t remember what it was) but it was super expensive, that said it would even stop a cougar or hungry bear in it’s tracks – the bottle was huge, and not something I could imagine carrying around.
The hunting/fishing store was super helpful though and there was lots of info online. (even pink ones on ebay;)
I have “Bear” (pepper) spray intended for bears that I take on my mountain hikes. To buy it you have to sign a waiver saying you will not use it on people. In Canada, if you were to use it on a person you could be fined $500,000 or jailed for 3 years. I think that mace and pepper spray are technically legal in Canada, but you have to say that its intended for use against animals only.
Posting stories like this on the internet is a GREAT idea. There are “hollaback” websites for different cities where women are encouraged to post stories and cellphone pictures of their harassers (“if you can’t slap ‘em, snap ‘em!”). It can act as a deterrent.
Amazing post , Angela. I’ve run into this sort of issue before… I finishing a run, a few houses down from mine, and it seemed like a car was going really slowly, almost following me. Then they stopped to ask directions and I shouted them out and just kept going. I deliberately passed my house because I had a really strange gut feeling.
I do not run that often anymore, but I used to carry pepper spray.
oh goodness this story was so scary to read! my mom always makes sure i have my RoadID and cellphone before I leave the house to go for a run. You never know what kind of creepers are out there! I’m so glad you’re ok
It may have seemed innocent in retrospect but too many women have been attacked not to have concern. You definitely did the right thing and what a great reminder about the fact that we put so much effort into fueling and challenging our bodies for health and that also includes keeping it safe from others harm.
this definitely freaked me out a little! I don’t carry anything with me when I run, but I try to be very conscious of my surroundings. ALWAYS trust your gut!!
Oh, sorry you had this awful experience, Angela! I had running when it’s warmer out. In my experience, it means I have to shed all the layers of clothing I wear in the colder months — where i can kind of pass for a guy, right? haha.
I have been followed on several occasions — once for half a mile while I was on a long run pretty far away from my house. People yell out of their cars all kinds of awful things. Anyway, I agree. There’s a 6th sense for sure. Your tips are very, very good. I would definitely say if anyone out there runs into an experience they consider uncomfortable . . . they should just try to ignore whoever it is as much as possible. I even once stopped by someone’s house where there was a family outside sitting around . . . anyway, I stopped and told them the situation and asked to use their phone to call my husband — and the guy drove away, thankfully.
But, ugh! Anyway, great run!!!
Hahah ps: that’s “I HATE running when it’s warmer out” — I just got back from an 8-miler myself and I’m still not computer-ready yet :)
That is a good idea about stopping. If the car would have followed me, I would have gone to someone’s house. Luckily there were people outside, so I didn’t feel completely alone.
Amen, Angela!
Such important points…I’m normally a trusting, welcoming person, but I’ve really gotten to be more and more cautious. Such a good reminder for us all!
Glad you’re safe -thanks for sharing!
I’m so glad you are ok!!!! I work in law enforcement and I see the worst of the worst. At first I thought I was jaded and bitter but in reality, my gut has just become even more fine-tuned. My gut is ALWAYS right. Just like yours. Listen to it. Carry pepper spray or mace. Don’t run in the woods with headphones.
As a woman–and a runner, if you are attacked your BEST defense is to RUN AWAY. Don’t engage, don’t stay in the scene. Even if you’ve been trained in self-defense, RUN. Run as fast as you can and call for help.
Glad your story has a happy ending. Many do not.
Great advice, thank you!
Needless to say I DID have a negative split on this run! All that adrenaline pumping through me.
SO glad you are safe. That is scary and the situation just has too many creep=factors to think that it could have been innocent. Specifically because your jacket was missing. I’m glad you are safe and that you called the police about it – who knows, your actions could have saved someone else who didn’t know to listen to their gut.
Holy moly woman! So glad you did the right thing in this situation and that you are alright!
I always run my shorter (early morning) runs just around the neighbourhood and they never last more than an hour. I save my more scenic runs for my long runs during the days on the weekends. I also always bring my health card with me and a whistle I got for free from New Balance.
I remember finding a cool running path not far from my house but knew immediately not to go on it at any other time than during the day when others were on the path as I just had a feeling it wouldn’t be a place I should go alone near dawn, dusk or at night.
When I lived in Japan I had a drunken business man follow me home. I think it was innocent enough (i.e., he was just drunk and curious at the foreign redhead) but I didn’t take it lightly at all. I immediately told my supervisor about it and was given rides home for two weeks after than and then when I did start walking home again I made sure to stay on the side of the street where there were the least amount of bars and never strayed off the main, more well-lit, road.
I’ve NEVER told my mother about it though!!!
Oh my goodness! That is scary. :/ I used to run without ID, cell phone, anything, not I always carry my ID and phone.
Wow what a scary situation! You were so right to trust your instincts, you never know what might have happened, and you surely don’t want to find out! The important thing is, you got back home safely. Compared to being alive and kicking, the loss of a piece of clothing is no big deal.
We women should definitely trust our gut much more often. I usually trust myself to know what’s good for me but just like Jenny above, I find myself saying yes too much to my own taste…
I’m really glad nothing happened…I was nervous reading this story!
I always go with my gut. I’ve been watching the same tv shows as you & I’ve learned that it’s better to possibly hurt someone’s feelings (or look crazy) than risk it. I’ve ran away a few times (men at night alone in random places) and yeah, I probably looked crazy but I don’t regret it!
I am so paranoid! I’m always trying to watch my surroundings and look for trouble. Good for you for listening to your gut and sharing the message with your readers – it’s so important to stay safe!
One time, I was going to a workout class and the parking was really bad. I found a spot but it was far away from the building and I thought twice about parking there and decided to circle around and wait for someone to leave before I parked. I ended up getting a closer spot and thank goodness! While we were in class, someone broke into the car that was parked where I almost parked!!! After that experience, I posted some safety tips here: http://thechiclife.com/2009/12/safety-first-people.html – but mine are more like general parking lot tips.
Oh, and another time, I was at the mall (where you would think you’d be safe with tons of people around) and I thought I noticed someone following me as I was walking down the hall. I quickly swung into a clothing store and walked halfway in and then turned around to see if the guy came in. He was lurking around the front of the store for several minutes. It was realllly creepy! Luckily my hubby was with me or I would have had security walk me to my car. If I had read this post first, I would have actually called security anyways. I should have now that I think about it…it was very suspicious!
Thank you for the tips! :)
Wow Ange!! Thanks for these great reminders. I often forget to take precautions when I head out for a run, but things can get scary really fast and in the little bit of time it takes to grab ID etc, makes all the difference.
I think what you said about women feeling the need to coddle other people’s feelings is especially true….even in times when we feel we are being compromised. Thanks for writing this!
Thank you for writing this.
I got myself in a similar situation two years ago- the voice in my head kept telling me that the man was making me uncomfortable, that I should leave… but I ignored it because I didn’t want to seem rude or hurt his feelings. I kicked myself afterward for being stupid and thought I was the one responsible, that I should’ve known better.
Every woman will find herself in this situation, unfortunately. Thank you again for sharing.
So glad you’re ok, Angela. Thank you for sharing this – it’s such an important thing for women to think about. I am really impressed that you reported it. I think a lot of people would have doubted themselves and (in typical female fashion) not wanted to bother anyone about it. I go walking in a forest near my home, and even though I go with my dog, I don’t always carry my cell phone or tell anyone where I’m going – I shall definitely be doing those things in the future.
I actually did have that thought’ oh im wasting the police officers time’ in my head. Thankfully he was SO nice about it and reminded me that I did the right thing. I am trying not to second guess myself anymore!
So glad you are OK Angela.
The one thing that struck me about this story was, despite the creep in the car, how law abiding you Canadians are, pulling over to make a call. They banned using mobile phones in cars in the UK a couple of years ago, but everyone seems to do it anyway (I don’t have a car so I’m clear).
Thanks for the tips. I think running definitely makes you more vulnerable that biking. I’ll stick to my wheels :)
HAHA- well, trust me, many people around here still talk on the cell while driving (Eric sees it daily during his commute), but yes many people do thankfully pull over now. :)
Thank God nothing happened to you!
Once, I ran in a park that has lots of dark parts, and I entered one of that parts, darky, with hills. There was a man running, that didn’t look like a real runner, stopping often, like he was waiting for me. I passed him by, but my panic started to kick in, so I turned and went back to the road with more people. I’m just to scared to take chances like that, although my karate and tae kwon do lessons. I always take my cell phone, because I have asthma, so cell phone and medicine are a must.
WOW girl you are awesome. you did the right thing and you were CAREFUL and women have GOT to do better at this!! I am so glad you did that, theres no telling what could have happened, so you have to always be on the safe side. hugs your way from the south!!!!!
Oh my gosh! I am so glad you are safe! You were right to trust your gut.
I have pepper spray attached to my key chain. I definitely take it with me when I’m going on walks without my boyfriend . . . recently, when we go at 7 we keep running into a strange, scary man pulling a cooler behind him who just stares at me (my bf is usually a bit behind me . .. I walk fast!). At first I was like you — worried that maybe I should smile at him so I wouldn’t feel rude (people pleaser!), second-guessing myself (maybe he’s not scary?) — but Dan said “I don’t like how that guy is looking at you like that . . . I don’t think you should take walks alone down this street anymore.”
Also, the pepper spray makes me feel safer when I’m going to my car in a parking garage. There are so many big SUVs, it is difficult to see who may be standing behind them. My classes often let out after dark, and the garage at school could be kind of creepy at that time! Have my keys out with my pepper spray attached makes me feel better.
Ohmigoodness I am SO sorry that happened to you! You definitely did the right thing in the end though. I’m glad you are safe.
The weirdest thing that happened to me was I was walking to my job at a busy stadium. I was on the other side of the street in broad daylight with tons of people around. I looked at this guy sitting strangely in one of the parked cars on the side of the road when he busted out of his car. Screamed “HEY YOU!” at me and started to run after me. I obviously started to run into the crowds, but NO ONE did anything. Thank goodness he magically stopped chasing me, but it was weird how no one thought a super grungy guy chasing a little girl in her work uniform was strange.
Sorry your jacket was gone but I am glad you listened to your gut. I run in a wooded area as well and carry mace and my cell phone with me. I also let my hubby know where I am going and how long I should be gone in case anything happens to me. It sucks we have to keep our guard up but you never know anymore.
Something similar happened to me a couple days ago, on school campus no less. I was eating by myself in the cafeteria, and all of a sudden I looked up and there was this random man standing very close to my table just looking at me. He looked like he wanted to say/ask something, but he didn’t. There was another guy standing nearby who looked very uncomfortable and unsure, and he beckoned to his friend and they walked away. But I kept looking up to see where they were going, and they just walked around the cafeteria observing and watching everyone. It was very strange.
When I was done eating, I got up and went to the bathroom on my way out. I didn’t see the men. But when I came out of the bathroom, they were standing RIGHT THERE. It was creepy. Luckily, they didn’t follow me home, but I kept looking over my shoulder and I was wearing my running shoes so I felt like I could reasonably escape….
Thanks for your story. I probably should have called public safety but I didn’t.
I just wanted to chime in here after reading this sentence of yours: “I was cursing being a woman and having to go through life feeling vulnerable and scared.”
I think you are right, and that you should take proper precautions, and listen to your gut, and not enter risky situations, and all that stuff. But I also have to say that I honestly believe 95% of people, men and women, are generally good folks. That’s not an injuction to blindly trust everybody, but I also think it’s sad to feel that you have to go through life feeling vulnerable and scared because you’re a woman. Five years ago, when I was 20, I spent four weeks hitchhiking through Ireland. By myself. I carried pepper spray and a knife in my bag, and was always prepared to turn down a ride if I felt the least bit uneasy about it. As it happened, I never had to turn down a ride, and I had an absolutely incredible time and met a lot of wonderful and interesting people, and saw a lot of cool places and things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. Yes, bad things could have happened to me, but nothing did, and I met a number of other gals who were doing the same thing and also having a blast.
I guess what I’m trying to say is: caution is good (and clearly a lot of ladies here have some creepy stories to tell), but trusting in people can sometimes be a good thing and lead to happy and rich life experiences, too.
I too agree that most people are good at heart. I still would not take the chance in this day and age…just my personal opinion!
Oh my god, I was really nervous while reading your story! You absolutely did the right thing – and I don’t think that the man would feel bad because you run away from him. Men should know that women that are alone in the forest could be frightened – so if he was “good” he would think that you did absolutely the right thing!
That’s the reason why I am never running with music and I am always scared to run in the forest – I mostly just run around my houses thousend times ;-)
Take care sweety!
It is good that you share things like this because it will help other people to think about it. Recently a girl was killed in Griffith Park in Los Angeles which is right up the road from me. It kind of makes you rethink where and when you run (like early morning runs in the dark at 0430). I don’t run with headphones because I like to be able to hear if someone is coming up from behind me. Even when I’m walking down the sidewalk and I walk past some people I think about what I’d do if they attacked me or something. Hahaha. Perhaps I’m paranoid, but I used to be a police officer and I learned a lot so I think that contributes to it. Definitely listen to your gut, I’ve ignored it way too many times.
I do that too! I think its good to be proactive :)
Thanks for posting this! I recently moved to NJ from Philly and don’t have any running buddies like I used to. I really want to run in the early morning before work, and even though we live in a safe neighborhood I am kind of wary. It doesn’t help that most of my friends/family are nervous about it. My cell phone is so big and bulky I never want to carry it, but perhaps I should think twice. I definitely plan to invest in a Road ID for emergencies as well. I do run with an IPOD but I keep it on very low so I can still hear everything around me. Wow, I really wish we didn’t have to worry about these things!
So glad you listened to your instincts! You hit it on the nose with women wanting to please and not wanting to offend people. Screw that! I’m dating myself here, but there was an episode on the show Designing Women when Mary Joe was freaked out at this guy who approached her in the a parking garage and she was by herself at night, and she flipped out on him only to find out later that he was a potential client. She felt stupid, but he told her not to worry because he had a wife and daughter and he should had known better than to approach a woman like that. My point is that if the guy is truly a good guy with good intentions, he’s not going to be offended by something like that :) by the way, thank you for you blog. I rarely comment, but I enjoy reading your daily updates and find inspiration on your message of self acceptance :) xo
Exactly, I couldnt agree more!
I’m so glad you listened to your gut! I do think women have a 6th sense when it comes to danger. I’m sorry you lost your jacket but safety is more important!
So glad you are safe! I have learned to follow my gut. I’d rather be safe than worry about offending someone. Good work! One suggestion…when you get your spray, go into your yard and try it. It is important to know HOW to use whatever it is we have for protection. Become familiar with how it feels, sprays, the distance the spray travels, etc. Have a good weekend…
That is a great tip, thank you
Ange, I am SO glad you are safe. You must’ve been so scared. You absolutely did the right thing. (((HUGS)))
Oh my goodness! That is so scary. I am glad you decided to listen to your gut. You’re right that it could have been nothing, but it is ALWAYS better to put our safety first. And what you mentioned does all sound very suspicious. I think my alarm bells would have gone up too. Glad the run itself was good though and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
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