Happy Olympics! yawhooo!
Sketchie had a long, hard week! ;)
Amazing response to the Glo Bar coupons yesterday- I added more and those went too.
Now onto breakfast…which was delicious oatmeal!
Quick and Easy Chia Banana Kiwi Oatmeal
Ingredients:
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup regular oats
- 1 T chia seeds
- 1/2 T cashew butter
- 1 t pure vanilla extract
- pinch sea salt
- 1 ripe banana cut into chunks
Directions: Throw all ingredients into a pot and stir on high until it boils. Reduce to low temp and whip like crazy. Pour into a dish and add your desired toppings.
I enjoyed every bite!
Do Your Friends Keep Tabs On Your Weight?
The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. Kara (not her real name) is upset because one of her friends makes constant comments about her weight.
I’m going to talk a bit about Kara’s situation (she gave me permission to talk about it on the blog):
Kara’s friend always asks her questions about her weight such as how much she weighs. Her friend also makes comments when they go out to eat such as ‘You are getting dessert? I thought you were a healthy eater?’ or even criticizing her for ordering a salad and soup telling her she needs to ‘stop eating like a bird’.
Kara feels very self-conscious about these comments and she isn’t quite sure what to do about it. She said that she feels like her friend is keeping tabs on her weight and is always watching and monitoring whether she is working out, eating healthy or unhealthy, or losing or gaining weight.
Kara said, ‘I am starting to feel obsessed with my weight because I have these hawk eyes on me all the time.’
‘In a way, I almost feel like I am being scrutinized like a celebrity, even though I know that what I am going through is nothing like a celebrity! I just feel like I am always being watched…and if I slip up or gain a few pounds this person is secretly happy or is going to make a comment about it. I feel like she is always waiting for me to do something wrong so she feels better about herself .’
Have you ever been in a similar situation as Kara?
Do you have friends who keep tabs on your weight or make comments about what you eat/how much you workout and turn it into a competition?
What do you do about it?
There will likely be a Part 2 of this topic as I want to add my own thoughts but this post is already a bit lengthy. :)
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Coming up on OSG a dramatic before and after of a room in our house!!!!
I don’t really get comments from my close friends. If I did start to get comments from a friend, I think I would back away from that person because I think it would trigger some unhealthy thoughts, habits for myself.
But I did want to say that I have a co-worker that I occasionally go to lunch with and HE will make blunt statements about my weight!! One time he said, “Have you been putting on any weight? You look like you have.” (And I hadn’t even gained anything, but was wearing a loose shirt)
He is from another country and maybe it’s ok to say things like that in that country. I think the next time he says something about my weight (or anyone’s), I will tell him that it is impolite to make those kinds of comments.
I couldn’t believe it when he said that!!
I would have to say that my friends do pretty much the opposite of Kara’s friend. Not that they encourage unhealthy habits [most of them try to eat healthily for the most part, go to the gym, etc.], but when we go out to eat, everyone orders heavy pasta dishes, pizza, greasy food, and someone is always wanting to go out! I suppose such is life in University, and especially living in a house with five other girls! But sometimes it’s still hard to reign it all in when “everyone else is doing it”.
That’s horrible! What “friends”. I feel this way, but I guess it’s understandable. I fee dietitian should eat healthfully and look a healthy weight. Not to be confused with perfect, but I think it’s important to practice what you preach. I, thankfully, am one who feels anything can be a part of a healthy diet (in moderation). But I get comments and glances from people who feel otherwise. Oh well! I’ve learned not to take any of it to heart.
Wow, sounds like the friend has major issues with her own weight. It seems like she’s either critical of Kara’s weight because just as she’s critical of her own weight. And when Kara loses weight? The friend is jealous. I’d tell my friend that I’m not so concerned about my weight–and she shouldn’t be either. And I’d appreciate it if she stopped criticizing how I ate. If she didn’t stop, I’d stop going out to eat with her.
I have a friend that I love dearly, but she is super competitive with me for some reason. We’ve known each other for 7 years now, and traveled together extensively. She always seems to monitor my weight, and if she notices that I have lost weight or am *gasp* thinner than her, she gives backhanded compliments and offers to have me over for dinner, and then makes really heavy, fattening, unhealthy foods… which she comes up with an excuse not to eat. I now live in a different city, so I don’t have to worry about it as much, but we’re running a half-marathon together next month and I’m half dreading it, half looking forward to it. :(
Wow, that sounds like a toxic friend. It doesn’t sound like she means it in a good natured way. If she really thought her friend had an eating disorder or was very unhealthy, then it would probably be better to discuss it away from food, not picking on her choices! I’ve never had a situation quite like that but have heard friends comment behind other friend’s backs about their weight (too low? too high?). It’s just negative and stems from something other than genuine concern for a friend I think. That is unfortunate, but seems like it would be best to avoid eating with that friend!
Yes, unfortunately I have friends like that. I wish I could just slowly drop her from my life (for lack of a better way of saying that) but we *used* to be best friends so our families know eachother, we have the same circle of friends and she’s basically at whatever event I go to. It’s just always a competition with her, and it’s very very stressful.
First of all, advice that I would give Kara is to politely (or maybe not so politely!) ask her friend to worry stop focusing on Kara’s food choices, as it’s her own body and she should be able to treat her body however she would like!
I was glad to read this post and the responses, because I’ve actually been experiencing this a lot lately. I’ve struggled with an eating disorder in the past, and in recent years have just gone through stages of disordered eating. However, I feel that I have finally found something that works for me- a high raw, high vegan diet (with focuses on the principles of raw food diets, such as food combining, and ‘raw til dinner’). I am currently on a college swim team, so I eat a lot of meals in the cafeteria with my teammates. While I know that my diet is working for me (and I supplement meals of fruits and vegetables in the cafeteria with other foods such as nuts and sprouted grain bread that I keep in my dorm room), I feel like my teammates judge me for it. They think that because I’m eating fruit for breakfast, or a salad for lunch, that I am ‘starving myself.’ It’s a very uncomfortable situation for me, because I want to do what works for me, but I don’t want to be constantly judged negatively for it.
Heya Angela!
I have a friend who makes a lot of comments of what I eat.
It isn’t meant to be negative but whenever I order a salad at a restaurant, she just rolls her eyes, she thinks I am doing this because I want to lose weight when in reality I order the food that appeals to me most which are big salads.
I also try and cut out sugars in my diet so when she buys a cookie and I don’t she again, comments about that.
My advice to Kara is, do and eat whatever you want.
It sounds like her friend is the one totally obsessed about weight, so next time, if she comments on her food Kara should ask, why are you so obsessed about what I eat?
And also if she has an issue with weight and food as she constantly talks about it.
This way she can turn the table around, obviously she is projecting her own food issues onto Kara.
It seems like it’s so much easier to eat lots of junk than lots of healthy food, the former gets far less snippy comments…
It’s not that easy being a greenie. :D
before i gained my weight after marriage, i had friends who did the same sort of thing…i had a really unhealthy outlook on food and exercise at that point, though, so i relished the fact that they almost idolized my weight. thinking back on it now, i don’t think i would feel the same way and it would certainly bother me…
Oh my God – that’s terrible! I’m sorry, but I can’t help but wonder what kind of a friend ‘Kara’ has. She doesn’t seem like a true friend.
I’ve had people comment on how much I eat and on my weight, but it’s usually really positive. The only rare time it isn’t is from my Grandma, and that’s just because she’s from a different generation. Plus, she says it out of love.
Wow – if I ever had a friend like that I would stop spending time with them. That is absolutely ridiculous. My friends don’t keep track of my weight as far as I know!
Well I have the stereotypical gay best friend and he has NO problem what so ever telling me if i’m getting pudgy. He told me that a few of my friends agreed with him that my arms were getting fat. My arms and my hips hold most of my fat so in a way he was right… but I had gained 5 lbs AND it was freshman year of college. Needless to say, I cried and really thought of him a lot differently than I had in the past
Wow, this is such a relevant topic to my life. How do you know the right topics to talk about Angela? It’s awesome.
So there’s two sides to this story. One I have a friend who doesn’t really make explicit comments about my weight, but she always brings up her weight and eating habits when I’m around.
And I know she wants me to tell her I weigh more then her, or something, and play her sick and twisted game of “whose thinner”.
But I just don’t want to. And it sucks because I can’t eat comfortably in front of her beccause I continually feel scrutinized, and judged.
The worst part? She knows I used to have an eating disorder. On the same lines she had a mother who told her on her thirteenth birthday (and this is a quote) “Now girls (she has a skinny twin) you have to start watching your weight; this is the time when girls often gain weight they can’t lose.”
Also my friend was a chubby kid, and her mom said to me and my mom “A will always have to watch her weight.” And it’s not a health thing for this family, it’s an image/vanity thing…
Sometimes I do avoid hanging out with her, because I really don’t want to hang out with someone who sees being healthy as a task, when I see it as an enjoyable lifestyle….
I can TOTALLY relate. I am in college and eating in the school cafe isn’t always easy. I usually try to stay away from most of the breads because I don’t know what is in them. I try to be aware and mostly stick to veggies and salad (I don’t eat meat anyway). Well, one day I decided to make a veggie sandwich. I thought the world was about to stop the way my roommate looked at me and said “bread!! no way! are you really? are you feeling ok? aren’t you gonig to gain too much weight?” I hate that because I choose to be aware of the things that I put into my body and what chemicals are in it, it makes me only eating that way to “keep my weight down.” I never say anything when she decides to eat cookies and pizza for dinner. Frankly, I could care less. Do what makes you happy, thats what I do. So why are my choices such a shocker to other people? Who cares? I think that people need to start minding their own business and only butt in when their choices are going to affect another person.
I can totally relate. I feel like my friends keep constant tabs on me. It drives me nuts because sometimes I just want to be left alone!
rawr. hah.
It really irritates me when people act like that. “Are you sure you are gonna eat all that?” Uh yes and maybe more! Stay out of my business…..I am healthy, fit, and don’t have an eating disorder!
As you can tell I am quite annoyed by these “friend”!
Good topis of discussion,,,
I think at my age, 21, when you live with a bunch of girls and are living in such a bubble, it is hard to not talk about weight issues with your friends. But, I will say that I think a lot of the time, it is a subconscious thing to talk about weight with other people. The criticism is often passive, yet noticeable. I always try to be blunt with friends and just tell them I don’t want to talk about our weight issues because everyone is so different.
I feel so sorry for your friend Kara that she’s in this situation. I really don’t have any advice to give on how to handle it, because I haven’t been in that situation. I mean, I have lost a noticeable amount of weight recently, but all of my friends are really careful with how they comment on it and are only every nice about it.
I get tons of comments about my weight, and they are always really uncomfortable. Since I lost 30+ lbs almost 2 years ago and have more or less maintained the loss, I get lots of comments like “Have you lost even more weight?” or “You’re so skinny!” even when I haven’t.
People always make these comments at social gatherings in front of a lot of people too, so it feels really awkward. I never know what to say besides, “I don’t think so, but I don’t weigh myself”, but then they usually insist that I have.
The worst was when I was waitressing, and I would get some sort of comment like this from a couple of the managers at least once a week!