Happy Olympics! yawhooo!
Sketchie had a long, hard week! ;)
Amazing response to the Glo Bar coupons yesterday- I added more and those went too.
Now onto breakfast…which was delicious oatmeal!
Quick and Easy Chia Banana Kiwi Oatmeal
Ingredients:
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup regular oats
- 1 T chia seeds
- 1/2 T cashew butter
- 1 t pure vanilla extract
- pinch sea salt
- 1 ripe banana cut into chunks
Directions: Throw all ingredients into a pot and stir on high until it boils. Reduce to low temp and whip like crazy. Pour into a dish and add your desired toppings.
I enjoyed every bite!
Do Your Friends Keep Tabs On Your Weight?
The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. Kara (not her real name) is upset because one of her friends makes constant comments about her weight.
I’m going to talk a bit about Kara’s situation (she gave me permission to talk about it on the blog):
Kara’s friend always asks her questions about her weight such as how much she weighs. Her friend also makes comments when they go out to eat such as ‘You are getting dessert? I thought you were a healthy eater?’ or even criticizing her for ordering a salad and soup telling her she needs to ‘stop eating like a bird’.
Kara feels very self-conscious about these comments and she isn’t quite sure what to do about it. She said that she feels like her friend is keeping tabs on her weight and is always watching and monitoring whether she is working out, eating healthy or unhealthy, or losing or gaining weight.
Kara said, ‘I am starting to feel obsessed with my weight because I have these hawk eyes on me all the time.’
‘In a way, I almost feel like I am being scrutinized like a celebrity, even though I know that what I am going through is nothing like a celebrity! I just feel like I am always being watched…and if I slip up or gain a few pounds this person is secretly happy or is going to make a comment about it. I feel like she is always waiting for me to do something wrong so she feels better about herself .’
Have you ever been in a similar situation as Kara?
Do you have friends who keep tabs on your weight or make comments about what you eat/how much you workout and turn it into a competition?
What do you do about it?
There will likely be a Part 2 of this topic as I want to add my own thoughts but this post is already a bit lengthy. :)
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Coming up on OSG a dramatic before and after of a room in our house!!!!
I hear her! A college friend I hadn’t seen in more than a year came to visit me and, before she left, had been saying, “You look so SKINNY!” based on photos. When she got here, she didn’t think twice and said, “You still look good, but you don’t look nearly as tiny in person.”
I’m prepping for a trip to visit her in a month, and now I’m self-conscious about my weight and whether or not I’m going to look the same as the photos she’s seen.
Omg – I totally had a friend like that.
She started by questioning me loudly in front of a whole group of friends about how I got my legs to be so thin. Then, we were sitting at a big table passing around brownies (pre-vegan). THey were small, so the whole group was just munching away. When I reached for my third, she said, “Oh my god, is that your second or third?!”
I immediately freaked out and threw it away, which I shouldn’t have done.
Fortunately, we now go to different colleges and it’s not an issue.
The thing is, it stems from THEIR low self confidence. I just wouldn’t answer her questions – just say “None of your business!” Eventually she’ll stop asking.
Angela, your oatmeals always look soooo good! Since I eat breakfast at my desk at work (I know, awful habit) I have started to experiment a little with instant oats, and I think I have found the perfect blend that works for me: instant oats, hot water, ground flax seeds, bananas, and a sprinkle of brown sugar. Mmmm breakfast heaven!
Do you have any quick and easy recipes that use instant oats that I could throw together at work?? In fact any work recipe ideas would be good!
Ugh, I definitely deal with this frequently, unfortunately. This post is actually making me question some of my newer friendships, because I feel like friends I’ve made since moving to New York are way more weight-conscious than any I’ve had in the past. I’m thin because I workout and eat healthfully, but I get tons of bull for it. One friend in particular told me she doesn’t think I should be a vegetarian because “that’s how you get an eating disorder” (she doesn’t know I’ve had one, and I don’t feel the need to add fuel to the fire by confiding in her). We’ll go out to dinner, and when I order a vegetarian dish, she rolls her eyes and tells me to order a steak already. The other day, she asked me how my half marathon training was going, and when I told her it was great but my legs were tired from my workout that morning, she said “I don’t think running thirteen miles is healthy for you, then.” Um, excuse me? I am following a training plan and will do what I want. The ironic thing is that she constantly complains about her weight, even though she’s thin, and always asks me how many calories I think are in the dish she just ate.
Sadly, I think it’s a prevalent theme in a lot of womens’ friendships. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to one another, and it’s often poisonous to the relationship. I guess a “real friend” wouldn’t judge you based on your weight, but I think in certain situations it’s difficult to find people who honestly don’t care at all what you look like.
I definitely understand what your friend is dealing with. It’s like you can’t win no matter what you eat. Just eating salad? “Are you anorexic or something?” Order dessert or eat some bread? “Gosh, I thought you were healthy.”
My dad always makes these comments. When I order salad, he pushes dessert on me. When I decide to get dessert, he makes a crack about “Well, save a bite for the rest of us!”
Frustrating.
I so can relate to Kara. Ever since I decided to start Running and eating healthier one of my friends has been very critical of the whole process.
Constantly making comments on my food choices and making fun of the natural remedies I take to keep healthy during the winter months (oil of Oregano etc)
I almost find like I have hide what I eat from her so I don’t have to hear another remark or I have to justify everything I do.
I too feel like she would be happy if I gained all the weight I lost… because while I was heavier she never once commented on my eating or the lack of working out.
Just this morning she bought a Chocolate bar for us to share, not sure why she would do that if she knows I’m trying to loose weight and try to stay away from things like that.
Now that I’ve taken on Running it’s almost like she wants me to fail… I don’t understand why friends can’t be happy to see their friends succeed in whatever they decided to take on.
I don’t have any friends that make comments like that to me about my weight, but some of my friends will make comments to me about other mutual friends about how they’ve gained or lost weight in college. I think they are self conscious about their own habits and are concerned about gaining weight. It just makes me wonder if they ever talk about me like that!
That is really awful of her friends to say! Poor girl. I’m very lucky that my friends support my healthy eating habits. They even ask me for tips sometimes and it makes me happy that I can help! I hope she sticks up for herself or removes those negative people from her life. No one needs that!
My mother actually used to always do that to me in high school! she’s constantly ask me how much I weighed, criticize me whenever I had something indulgent, etc. She still does it when I visit home, but to a lesser extent… but I’ve realized that what I put into MY body isn’t anyone else’s business.
I’ve also been in Kara’s friend’s shoes. When I was a disordered eater, I used to always watch my friends eat things that I wouldn’t allow myself to have, and think to myself, “She’s going to eat THAT?! No wonder she’s not thin!” It’s obvious that her friend is having some insecurities about food/body image herself and is projecting them onto Kara. If I were her, I’d confront her once about it, directly and politely, but if she continues, just to learn to let the comments bounce right off.
that is rediculous – i would NOT put up with that and not spend my time with that friend. We need to surround ourselved with people who contribute postive energy and nor weigh us down with negativity!
This is a major loaded topic for me. My family has always been critical of my weight and what I eat and I have had the same with friends in the past. I even have co-workers make comments about my food choices. Thankfully, I have let go of the friendships that felt the need to constantly be talking about my weight and/or exercise habits. I think these types of things come from one of two things; either insecurity or stereotyping.
I think that everyone has the right to eat and exercise in whatever way feels best to them and not interfere with others in this manner. I think the same is true for the folks that leave nasty comments on blogs about what people are eating or how they are exercising. It is disgusting and really only shows you what kind of person they really are.
Yikes! So many tales of nosy mean people! These people need a good talking to. Or a smack in the head.
But Kara needs a little talking to, as well. Why does she care so much about what this one bitter person says? Why is she even thinking about changing her behavior in reaction to this person? Kara! Stiffen your spine and give this “friend” the thousand-yard stare the next time she has the nerve to make a comment on YOUR body!
Women everywhere: Stop being so nice. You don’t have to be pleasant and accommodating to people who just want to run you down!
Sorry. Got a little carried away there.
LOVE that picture of Sketchi! He’s adorable :)
As for your question, I have experienced that in the past but not currently. When it did happen, it made me SO self-conscious about my weight and about what I was eating and how much I was working out. It shouldn’t be like that. Friends are supposed to support you.. and I don’t think your friends mean anything bad by it most of the time.
All throughout high school I got the anorexia comments (even though I ate heaps of healthy stuff and played sports etc). My mum was the same way at my age. It didn’t bother me so much then, but it bothers me a lot now. It’s no longer the anorexia comments, but more just about how lucky I am to be skinny, I have a great body etc. The thing is, people really have no idea what is truly going on in someone’s life. One problem I am too embarrassed to mention here, but if people knew about it they wouldn’t be so envious. Because people always comment on my weight, I have now become very conscious of it – and truly believe that if I don’t have that, then I won’t receive any attention from friends at all. Why can’t we just focus and appreciate the fact that we’re so blessed to have bodies that can take us places and that we should treat them as such, feeding them nutritious food, treating ourselves and others with respect, regardless of our/their food choices?
real friends do not say things like that!! that’s ridiculous! its sounds like those girls have declared some kind of weight competition in their heads. they feel self conscious when she eats healthier than them, and they feel the need to put her down when she indulges. but they might not even realize they are doing it, so she should let them know how their comments are affecting her.
When I went back home to Illinois the first time after losing some weight it was SO much similar to this. People were constantly watching what I ate, questioning every bite I took (or didn’t take). At my bbf’s engagement bbq I decided to skip the bun on my burger and enjoy a pile of chips instead (who wants a dry, plain bun when there’s yummy chips?!). This was a HUGE issue. I immediately had people asking me, “Why aren’t you using a bun? Do you not eat carbs now? Is that how you’re losing weight?” I about flipped. Hello?! There is a pile of chips on my plate, do you really think I stopped eating carbs?!
It was constantly like this when I’d go home and it got to the point where I almost felt like I needed to eat MORE around these people so they’d get off my back.. especially once I found out a rumor started there that I lost weight because I had an ED. Whoa. Not cool. But then I realized what these people said and thought didn’t matter. I knew I was treating my body right and their opinions shouldn’t have any effect on my decisions.
It sucks to be watched like this, but your friend just needs to remember she knows she is making the right choices for her, and what her other friend thinks/says should just go in one ear and out the other!
I feel sorry for your poor friend! I don’t think anyone really keeps tabs on my weight except for me and maybe my mom. My mom often thinks I am getting too thin so she does it because mom’s worry about everything! It doesn’t upset me though.
I feel so badly for her because I have had this happen to me and it brought out all of my insecurities and made me question myself. Not good. However, what she should know is that Kara’s friend is more insecure with herself since she’s constantly looking for validation about her own eating habits.
What I’d honestly suggest is for Kara to stop going out to eat with this girl. If she wants to still be friends, that’s her decision, but at least break off any food related activities. Not only will that help her, but maybe her friend will get the picture.
I feel blessed that I don’t have this problem with close family and friends, but I have had this issue with coworkers. If I’m eating something healthy in the cafeteria or if I’m seen walking downstairs with my gym bag (we have a gym at my office), I hear comments like “you don’t need to work out, you’re already so skinny!” or “why are you eating healthy if you are already so skinny?”. At first it hurts my feelings to hear comments about my weight, but then I just try to tell my self that it’s their problem, not mine. I’m treating my body well by eating healthy and exercising and they are just self-conscious about their own habits!
Only my mom does that to me :)