Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.

221 comments

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I discovered my Lululemon yoga mat makes a great GREEN backdrop for a photo!

Today I want to do a product review. I purchased these Ezekiel Whole Grain Tortillas last week as a reward for my early rising challenge. The challenge is still going well- I have been getting up between 6-6:20am, with a few slip-ups here and there when I need more sleep. I’m not sure if I will be able to break into the 5’s like I hoped, but I am happy with around 6 anyways.

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I was really excited to try these as I have been wondering about them for over a year now.

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I had the wrap with a delicious quinoa mixture- 1 cup quinoa, 2 heaping tablespoons hummus, ground pepper, and 1 tablespoon tomato paste. Very delicious! On a bed of baby spinach.

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I was a bit disappointed with these wraps because they are quite tough. I was expecting a soft tortilla but these were not soft. They don’t taste bad, but I would prefer to spend my dough on other dough…

I definitely prefer the Ezekiel bread to these. The bread seems more filling to me, even though it is about the same number of calories. Maybe it is because I toast the bread.

Someone mentioned that the Ezekiel English muffins are really good so I think I will try those next!

Celery is like air to me. Very fun to crunch though. That is one thing I love about veggies…so. much. chewing. IMG_0292

I also made a fun discovery with my tea.

I rarely drink black tea lately, but I used to drink it all the time. Eric drinks it a lot so he has got me drinking some decaf at night time again. I wanted a creamy tea so I tried adding coconut milk. I put about 3 tablespoons of coconut milk into my tea. At first I wasn’t sure about the taste, but as I drank it I really enjoyed it. The tea was so creamy and rich tasting! A definite keeper.

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Nothing like a hot cuppa tea on a cold winter’s night…

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This was a question I posed on Twitter tonight and I got some interesting responses:

“For all the ladies out there who want children- do you have a certain age that you want to have your first by?”

I would also like to ask: For those of you who already have children please share your thoughts on your own experience! Did you have them early enough, too late, just right?

Or have you decided that you don’t want to have children?

Any MEN out there who want to chime in?  (I’d pretty much die happy if one did…)

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{ 218 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Meghan@traveleatlove February 2, 2010

Great question! I will be curious to see the responses. I am almost 30 and not sure I want children yet!

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2 Laurie February 2, 2010

We have 4 kids I am SO GLAD that we started our family when we were young. I had my first baby at age 23 and my last at age 31. Raising kids takes a ton of energy and is so much fun but now that my youngest just turned 18 and will graduate from high school, I’m really looking forward to this next phase of our lives. So many people put off having a family because they think that life as a couple sort of stops when the kids come. As we were raising our family, we lived in Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan. We have always enjoyed traveling as a family and have been to over 100 countries. I’m so glad we didn’t wait until later in life to do all of that and we have created memories for our family that have made us all really close.

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3 Lindsay February 3, 2010

I’m currently almost 23, and I would like to have kids by around 27. I definitely would like to start before 30. I’d better work on finding an amazing daddy for them first though!

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4 GlowingBIL February 3, 2010

Since this will help you die a happy lady I’ll chime in on the children :)

Our first child is almost 2 and my wife had her just weeks before she turned 30 (and I was 32). We’re delighted we had a few years together first to enjoy each others company before life changed so much. Having children is certainly life changing , stressful and hard work – but oh so rewarding and brings so much joy into our lives. We have two children now 16 months apart and while I think a few more months between them would have been easier on us we can’t wait for them to start playing together (our oldest already performs for our 7 month old to get him to giggle and laugh). We’ve also been able to travel overseas and down south with our first little one, go camping, play in volleyball tournaments and keep enjoying things we like to do!

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5 Leilani February 3, 2010

Angela,
I had my first gorgeous baby girl at 22 and I was a single mom, the next one at 37 (married for 6 years) so I now have an 18 and 3 year old :)))I can’t even begin to explain how fierce my love is for them. I find that I am much more calmer this second time. I now really take the time to get down on my knees and see the world through this little ones eyes, so to speak. I think when you are younger, you don’t get life like you do when your older. The 18 year old is my super duper best friend and honestly so is this little one. I am also married to the most AMAZING man and having a baby with him was the best thing ever so I really think you should be solid and grounded in a marriage and then have your babies the way God intended. It is the most beautiful thing ever. My advice, do everything you want to do alone together FIRST…. and then bring your little ones in the world cause they really do change everything! oh but in the most sweetest way:)))) I wish I was a little younger I would have one more.(I know people have babies at 40 but I am afraid to) otherwise another would be on the way.

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6 Brandi G. February 3, 2010

When I was growing up, I wanted to have all my kids by the time I was 25. I got married at 23, had my first at 26 and my second at 30. I think that ages worked out perfectly! I had time to “sow my wild oats” and get all that out of my system but I’m still young enough to get down on the floor and play with them and keep up with all their activities.

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7 Lauren February 2, 2010

I agree that the Ezekiel wraps are not so good, but the english muffins are great… especially the raisin cinnamon ones!

As for your question regarding children… I had my (2 yr old) son at age 34 and I wouldn’t change a thing. I was financially secure and emotionally ready and my hubby and I got to enjoy our 20’s (and almost half of our 30’s) together, travelling, building our careers, etc. However I really think it was tougher physically than if I had done it sooner. That being said I’m super happy with my choice and my advice is to follow your own instincts… they’re always right :-)

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8 Suzanne February 3, 2010

Lauren, I had my daughter at the age of 34 and absolutely agree that is was perfect timing. We had traveled, we had party-ed and we felt ready to start a family. It’s certainly tougher physically as now I need to new hips (I’m 38)! But my daughter is so much fun!

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9 Jocelyn February 2, 2010

Hey girl..the thought of kids scurrrrs me right now..(I’m 22)

But..I’d love to have kids before my 30s..my cousins are all in the baby making stages of their lives right now..(all between 27-30) … I work at a non profit centre and a lot of moms come in and tell me stories and give me advice…they have all basically said to have my babies as young as possible..lol (I think they mean still in my 20’s..once I’m married) I guess it just gets harder as you get older..on the body and your patience! lol Will love to read these answers!

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10 Liz February 2, 2010

I would like to start thinking about kids around 27 or 28 but I’d ultimately like to have my first child by 30 at the latest. oh yeah, and for reference, I am 22 (almost 23!) now.

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11 Vanessa (Last Night's Leftovers) February 2, 2010

I don’t want children. Being a parent is just not something that I want to do…and my life plans/goals/dreams don’t include kids. I’m in the minority, I know, but it is what it is!

That said, many of my friends have had kids at different ages, and it seems to be a completely individual thing. When one of my best friends got married at 18 and pregnant immediately afterward I thought she was crazy. Fast forward 5 years and she has 3 kids, loves her husband, and wouldn’t trade the life she has now for anything. You just have to follow your gut, I suppose!

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12 Chantal February 3, 2010

Ditto! And thanks for making the comment. I think there is a lot of pressure for women to have kids, and women never stop to think about whether they actually want them or should even have them at all. Sometimes, we might just not want children, some (including myself) don’t do it for environmental reasons (overpopulation is one of our biggest global challenges), and a number of other reasons from the ethical to the purely personal. That being said, I’m in a totally loving and passionate relationship and my hubby and I have been together for almost 4 years now and it’s still like day 1!

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13 Sofi February 3, 2010

Like Chantal and Vanessa, I do not want to have children. In fact, I never wanted to have children. When I was a teen, my reasons for not wanting children were attached to the responsibility but now I take into consideration economic factors, the environment (like Vanessa), and especially my career.

Last year I married my best friend of 7 years and we had always been on common ground about the subject of children. At first, my mother expressed some disappointment about our decision but she understands and holds no resentment. The mother-in-law is different though and I believe that she is unhappy with our decision. It is apparent that she has misinterpreted our decision as a couple as my own dislike of children, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I do love children and teens but I do not have the desire to raise them myself.

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14 Jennifer @ His N' Her Health February 2, 2010

The Ezekiel english muffins are amazing. Especially toasted with Almond butter on top. I have one just about every morning! I don’t want kids but the Fiance does so who knows what will happen but I don’t see it in my near future… Like more than 5 years from now.

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15 Huckdoll February 2, 2010

I had twin girls at 25. Way too early for two babies in my opinion, but that was my fate and I love it now that I have the hang of it! Instant family. A single would have probably been a lot easier at that age and yes, being so young and having a complete family of four was really hard in almost every aspect for the first three years.

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16 Lindsay February 2, 2010

At first I didn’t want kids. Then my sister had a baby and something inside happened! 2 months later I conceived my son. Then after a tough pregnancy, horrible healing and some PPD I thought I was done. But the big man upstairs had a different plan for me and I was blessed with another girl.

I think I had my first child at a perfect age, I was 27, my husband and I had been married for 5 years and had time to enjoy each other before things changed.

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17 Izzibee February 2, 2010

I had my little dude 2 weeks before my 30th birthday and no regrets. I think I did everything I felt I needed to do and gained the life experience to know what type of role model I want to be for my little guy.

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18 Kristin (whimsyville) February 2, 2010

I just turned 30. I used to think that everything had to be said and done by 30… but I’m nowhere near having (or wanting) kidlets quite yet. Maybe in a year or two?

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19 Julie Boyer February 2, 2010

First, I agree about the wraps. Second – I LOVE Fontaine Sante products. My favs- bean salad and hummus. I get them at Costco for really cheap – this week on sale for $3.49 for two hummus – big container.

Quick question – what brand of quinoa do you use?

As for the question – I am just married, just turned 34 – so the perfect age of 30 is long past. I have many friends who have been really blessed with kids at 40 and beyond, so I am not too concerned. I know I’ll get pregnant at exactly the right time.

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20 Sarah @ The Foodie Diaries February 2, 2010

I was disappointed with the ezekiel tortillas, too. Especially because I adore their bread!

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21 Katie (Sweet Tater) February 2, 2010

at first glance that quinoa in the wrap toootally looks like a chicken finger! haha.

i always kind of thought 28 would be a good age to start, but i’m getting kind of close. so now i guess i don’t have a calendar limit on when i want to have kids. i suppose i just hope for it to be the right time (financially, emotionally, etc.) and that the baby would be healthy.

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22 Sarah February 2, 2010

This question comes at a perfect time for me. I have always known that I really wanted children, but I had set 30 as my “deadline” for my first. I hadn’t realized how quickly those 20’s would go by! Right now, I’m sitting here in the first half of my 29th year, wrestling with the fact that if I do have them, it won’t be by my deadline, and it may not be at all, whether I like that fact or not. We have been trying for nearly a year now, and every friend’s announcement, at this point, is like taking a bullet. I know that I’m being selfish, and I really am happy for them, but at the same time, it brings back up that fear that I may have waited too long and not end up able to have any. I don’t feel like there’s one “age” that it has to be for everyone, but for myself, I really felt like late 20’s would be a good time. I know a lot of people start earlier, and I’ve always thought that if you feel ready earlier, go for it, but for some of us, we don’t know who we are at that point, and we’re still finishing up school or whatever. I felt like by the time I was in the last half of my 20’s, I had a pretty good idea of who I was and I feel like I’m ready to be a parent. But I think it’s very much an individual thing.

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23 Mara @ What's for Dinner? February 2, 2010

Originally I used to say by 30. But that’s not realistic anymore with Adam back in school, so we’ll start trying right around when I turn 31… which is only 2 years away!

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24 Charity February 2, 2010

Childless by choice here. I’m 38 and my husband is 36, and we’ve been married for 4 years. :)

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25 Edan February 3, 2010

Then, you’re childfree, not childless! ; )

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26 Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg February 2, 2010

I really like those wraps! I heat mine under a damp paper towel in the microwave for about 15 seconds– it really softens them up!

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27 Lisa (bakebikeblog) February 2, 2010

I would love to have babies by 30 :) I think I am running out of time oops!!!!

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28 Jenna @ Health and Happiness February 2, 2010

I just bought Ezekiel sprouted tortillas last night when the crew decided to do Mexican for dinner. (and decided to something different than my regular whole wheat) I have to agree that I was a little disappointed as well. They are very tough, even after heating and don’t roll well. The Ezekiel bread is so good though, especially toasted! I just picked up the sesame variety! I’m loving the yoga mat backdrop!

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29 Allie (Live Laugh Eat) February 2, 2010

The Ezekiel english muffins are AMAAAAAAAZING!!! Especially the cinnamon raisin ones. I crave those bad boys day and night. I love them with almond butter and banana slices.

Yagottatryem! Perhaps try microwaving the wraps with a wet paper towel wrapped around them so they soften a bit.

I used to think 25-27 but I’m starting to think 30+…seeing as how there is no one to make them babies with at this point!!

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30 Paul R. Giunta February 2, 2010

In the next couple of years is the plan.

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31 Ameena February 2, 2010

I already have a 4-year-old but I totally wanted one before I was 30…and I had her when I was 29 so it worked out perfect!

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32 Eve February 2, 2010

I love coconut milk in my tea, especially chai tea! I’m reasonably sure I want kids, and I know that if I have ’em, I want to be young! Maybe in the next five years? – that puts me in at before 25. So many people waitwaitwait these days (including my mom!- and although she’s still doing great, she is definitely getting on…), but I’ve always been keen on being a younger mom.

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33 Lindsey @ Sound Eats February 2, 2010

This is so interesting to me, because I got married at 21 and right around that time I was thinking of kids in 4-5 years. Now, a couple years later, and I keep realizing more and more that I’m ok with waiting longer. I wonder if many women find this when they age?

(Totally not saying you will though, my old best friend always wanted a ton of kids and to start young, and she and her husband just had their first baby and she’s 23!)

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34 Erin (Travel, Eat, Repeat) February 2, 2010

I don’t want to put a concrete date on things, especially since I’m currently single, but I think 30 would be ideal. Young enough to be an active mom, old enough to have thoroughly enjoyed my pre-child years.

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35 ErikA February 2, 2010

I chose not to have children – I have always felt this way even as a young girl. I think kids are great and I am great with them, but motherhood is not something I strived for and I feel that society looks down on women that chose not to have children. I have heard oh you just haven’t found the right man or such other comments, some very insulting to say the least. I think that not bringing a child into the world is not the worst thing a woman can do. I do think though that 30 or 31 is a great time for a child – you are still young enough to keep up with them but old enough to have a good head on your shoulders to raise them.

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36 Sarah @ See Sarah Eat February 2, 2010

What a neat discussion! I’m thrilled to see so many ladies are in the same boat as me.

I’m getting ready to turn 28 and my husband and I have been married for 5 years in July. In some ways I thought we’d have one child by now but I’m so glad we didn’t.

We struggled to pay off bills and learn how to live with each other those first few years but now we’re in a great place. So any day now would be good, seriously. Preferably having the first one by 30, because I want a few ;-)

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37 Anna February 2, 2010

My mom and my grandmother both had their first kid at 32 so I always figured that would be the age for me. My husband comes from a “kids at 20” family. It’s interesting thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of kids at the various ages. I think I started being ready at 26, but then there was the question of when our relationship would be ready – so now we’re looking at the next year – so probably 29 when we actually have our first. I have a friend who had her first at 20 as she finished up college and thrived on it (second during grad school). It’s really one of those things that works for each person differently. My parents were among the older parents when I was growing up (they were 38 when I was born), but now I’d say that since more people are waiting until their 30s that probably won’t be as true.

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38 Naomi February 2, 2010

Hi Angela :)

I had my daughter at 21 (then separated from my partner a few years later). I’m 29 now and settled with a new man but neither of us are sure that we even want anymore kids. It’s sort of nice now that my daughter’s old enough to look after herself a bit.

Physically I don’t feel too much different at 29 than I did at 21 although I had a super easy pregnancy and birth (according to the midwives – it didn’t feel easy!).

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39 Daryl February 2, 2010

Laugh – just missed being the first guy to respond. As I’m 30 now in the next 3-6 years would be ideal; that seems several years later than I would have said a few years ago.

An interesting follow-up for women – if you qualified for the Boston Marathon (or similar racing accomplishment) would you delay having kids, by up to about a year so you could run the race? Guys (if you could actually have a child)?

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40 RhodeyGirl February 2, 2010

My husband and I were considering waiting to try until I have the chance to run my first full marathon. We haven’t decided what to do just yet, as we are not ready to start growing our family just yet, but I find it funny that running is affecting our decision

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41 shelly February 2, 2010

No because I think that training for a marathon would be a great way to get back in the habit of running after a pregnacy. Also, my timing situation is going to be tricky at best (since I plan to start at 30 or 31 and have 2 or 3 kids before I am 35), so I don’t think that a marathon is worth messing my plans up that much.

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42 Kris February 2, 2010

I always had a “deadline” of when I wantd to have kids. Wanted my first by 26 and second by 28. I made my deadline, however as I look back now, I suppose I would change a few things. The first thing I would do is take a bit more time to travel before having a baby. Once they arrive, it is difficult to travel the world with playpen, stroller, diapers and toys in tow! Also, a vacation is never quite the same when you are travelling with little ones. The second thing I would do is space the kids out a bit more. 25 months apart is quite difficult when they are small.

On the other hand, I am happy to be a young mom. I think it is easier on a woman’s body to bounce back when she is younger.

Also, I think having the kids close in age is good for them, just hard on me at times :)

I see more and more people having their first child well in their 30s and I think that is becoming more the norm.

My advice is to do everything in life that you can that you don’t want to put off for 15-20 years! ;)

I love my kids more than anything (as you know) and I can’t imagine what I would do without them!

To each his own! :)

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43 Jill February 2, 2010

Great timing. I was just thinking about the whole child/age thing today. When I was in law school, the thought of children scared the crap out of me. Now that I am starting my career, I can at least think about it without feeling sick. I think that 28 or 30 is going to be a good age for me to start.

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44 Kyla Roma February 2, 2010

I’m 24 and I think we’re going to start trying around when I’m 28. Four more years of total luxury, quiet, and Sunday afternoon naps? Yes please!

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45 TanyaS February 2, 2010

I had my first at 21 and second at 23 and was always jealous of friends that had kids into their 30’s because they had done so much “living” and seemed to be more financially secure. But as I thought I about it, I realized that my kids would be on their own and I would still only be 40 and have plenty of years for fun.

Fast forward a few years and I am now 31, remarried, and pregnant with #3. My biggest concern is that I’ve become a much more selfish person because I’ve developed more personal life than when I had my first children. My other concern is that I’ve set that “having fun” time back to my 50’s.

Ah, live and learn. The biggest lesson having children has taught me is flexibility and learning to roll with the punches. Whatever happens in life, you gotta learn to deal.

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46 Jacquie February 2, 2010

I’m 23 and have friends who already have kids which scares me. Right now I’m single and happy and free, but I would like to have a family in the next 5 or 10 years. It’ll will just depend on when I find my someone and when’s a good time for us?

Are you and Eric trying to start a family? We’d love love to see a “glowing” baby :)

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47 Janna (Just Flourishing) February 2, 2010

I was never one to want kids early.

Ideally I think I would want to have kids after 30, prob in my early 30’s. I won’t even graduate school till I’m 27…so I want to wait a while. :)

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48 shelly February 2, 2010

I feel the same way about the wraps. They taste good but they are too tough. They’re not bad if you toast them until they are crunchy, then break them up and use them to scoop your food though.
As for the kid thing, I know it’s going to be soonish. Soonish b/c I have to get married (which is happening in the spring of 2011), my fiance has to graduate from med school, and we have to figure out our insurance situation since we’ll be getting married and potentially moving and starting new jobs. So depending on whether insurance requires us to wait a year before getting pregnant, I could be trying for my first child as early as age 30 (I turn 29 this August).
Saying that out loud makes me nervous. But I really want to be done having kids by 35 and my fiance just brought up the idea that “3 could be fun, but we can see how it works out with the timing of the first two.” I also read a report saying that you should wait 11 months between pregnancies- so I feel like I need a spreadsheet to figure out the timing of my future pregnancies. It’s okay though because I want to have my children very close together in age. :)
I guess my answer to your question is “before 35.”

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49 Susan February 2, 2010

Interesting question – I can’t wait to see what everyone says! I actually have no desire to have babies of my own. It’s always been my goal to adopt foster children when I’m settled and making better money closer to my 40’s. Ideally I’d get older children that I can help get back on track. I went through and saw a lot as a teenager, and I think I could help at least one kid get through to the other side.

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50 John February 2, 2010

I know you’d die happy but don’t die now I’d feel terrible!

I haven’t found the right woman yet so therefore no children. Somedays I think it’s getting late in life as I just turned 38 but then I think of my uncle who started having kids again with his second wife in his forties with the last one being born when he was 49-51.

Anyways before I can have kids I need to find the love of my life right or at least someone I can put up with “till the end of time”(Meatloaf line) :-)

What a way to delurk,eh?

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51 jenna February 2, 2010

I have always said I would like to have my first baby at 27, second by 30 and then I would see if I wanted any more after that. I just turned 24 though, and am still single, so at this point, I am just hoping to have my first by 30.

I am a labor and delivery nurse, so I am around people having babies ALL the time. Some days I really crave it, but other days I love my single life :)

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52 Carly February 2, 2010

Hi Angela –

I am normally a lurker but wanted to comment on this question b/c I often had wondered the same thing.

I am actually newly pregnant and am thrilled with the timing. I am going to be 30 next month and my hubby is 32 and I feel like we are in the perfect place both maturity wise and financially. I wasn’t sure before when or if I would want kids and I just figured it would come up naturally and it did!

All the sudden we decided it was time, we made it happen and here we are. Couldn’t be happier!

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53 Ro February 2, 2010

wanted a kid before im 30 but there are no male prospects so i dont see that happening. im almost 27. and when married i wanted to be child free at the beginning. so much for plans :(

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54 Adrienmelaine (confessionsofahealthnut) February 2, 2010

I’m with you on those wraps forsure!

I’ve got a sweet tea giveaway on my blog that you may be interested in- fellow Canadian you- especially if you’re heading out to the west coast sometime soon!

xx

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55 Jesse February 2, 2010

interesting question. i was just having this conversation with my mom this past weekend. i will turn 30 this year, as will my husband. we have been married for almost 11 months. growing up, i never wanted kids. but, as i get older, that is changing. when my husband and i started talking about marriage a couple of years ago and about our future, we said that if we decided to have kids it would be around age 30. i just dont feel like we will be financially secure or that we have had the chance to enjoy being a young married couple yet so i dont know when we will start to consider it. personally sometimes i feel like maybe im getting too old and that it may just not be in the cards for us. plus, sometimes i am reminded about how i always thought that i didnt want kids, so why do i now?

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56 amy. February 2, 2010

i had my daughter when i was 27; my husband and i married early (i was 20), but decided to wait to have children. i’m so happy we did — we had a lot of time to just be a pair. now that we are a trio, i don’t know what we did before! she’s incredible and i love being ‘mama’. there’s been talk of a second, but we are now entering our 30’s and unsure of the timing. there’s still a lot of things we’d like to experience (just the two of us) and aren’t sure we want to embark on those adventures in our mid-fifties. i’ll be sure to keep you posted!

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57 Clarice February 2, 2010

I’m 26, almost 27, and have been married for five years. It’s amazing to me that in 2010 people are shocked when I say I don’t want to have children. So many of my friends have kids. I love their kids, but I also love traveling wherever I want and napping in the afternoon. I don’t think kids are in my future. For someone that does want kids though, 30 seems like it would be a great age.

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58 Sammi February 2, 2010

I don’t want to have kids before graduating from college (nor do I want to get married before graduating) but I don’t want to have them really late in life either. My ideal would probably be late 20s. Late enough to get my schooling finished with and get started on what I want to do with my life but not so late that it will mess with my career or anything.
That really is a tough one though.

What about you?

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59 Tamara Lea February 2, 2010

When I was younger, I always thought I’d have 2-3 kids by age 35, but here I am going on age 36 with zero kids! I love to think of us eventually becoming parents, but we also enjoy our child-free lives. Hubs and I keep putting it off (“not ready”), but we are starting to wonder if we will ever be ready. One thing is certain – we are way overdue to make a decision!!

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60 Emmanuelle February 4, 2010

Sorry I’m a bit late, thank you time difference :-)
Same as Tamara Lea above, I just turned 33, my boyfriend is turning 36 in a couple of days, we’ve been together for 7 years and we very shyly talk about kids, we don’t feel ready. Same as you, I wonder if we will ever be ready. We also started to talk about adopting, but again we still need to discuss and figure out what we really want.

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61 Heather February 2, 2010

I am 27 and I am doing a second degree in nursing, it’s 20 months, and I am in my second semester, so I won’t be finished school until half way through my 28th year. I have been dating the same person for 7.5 yrs, and we plan on getting married when I am finished with school, we would also like to do another year overseas, and then there is always the student loan debt I want to have paid off.

I have never had that maternal thing everything everyone talks about, I have never wanted kids, and I still don’t know if I want them, in any case I still feel way to young to 1) be married, and 2) be a parent. I am hoping I will feel different in my 30’s. My Ideal age would be after 36, I still have a lot of ‘living’ to do before I give over my life to taking care of another human being.

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62 Alexandra February 2, 2010

I’m only 20, and I’ve chewed on the idea of having children someday. I really don’t think I could handle childbirth. The thought of having an infant incubating inside of me kind of creeps me out! I totally respect mothers, I know it’s a lot of work to take on.

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63 Sarah February 2, 2010

I wrote about this a few weeks ago in my blog, my husband and I are thinking about starting to try for kids after my 25th birthday (about 18 months from now.) Ideally we would be done having kids by the time I’m 30, but there is a lot of things we would like to do before we have kids, travel, renos, etc. So we will have to see where life takes us in the next 18 months!

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64 jayme February 2, 2010

i am ka-raaaazy about ezekiel! i splurged and bought a 5 dollar loaf of the original ezekiel bread, and i’m loving it. if i could afford it, i would buy the english muffins every week. they taste so wholesome and are so filling, perfect for breakfast.
i’m guessing the lovely couple (you and eric) had some kind of kids talk? haha. i’m hoping by 25 or 26, i’ll be doing the super-preggo-woman walk.
:)

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65 Nicole February 2, 2010

Good question. I was not sure I wanted children and something changed when I turned 27. I just had a complete change of heart and now I am due in May. My husband and I wanted to have a child sometime during our late 20’s, early 30’s. We shall see if it was the “right time”. Either way we are so excited.

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66 Sarah February 2, 2010

I’d like to have kids before my 30th birthday but seeing how I don’t have a boyfriend it might be delayed!! LOL…

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67 Janine February 2, 2010

This is interesting. Okay, I had my two children when I was 19 and 21. Obviously the down side is that we struggled financially, and we didn’t have the emotional confidence to tell our inlaws to butt out. In hindsight, we were great parents, but we weren’t allowed to be. because we were young, it was assumed we didn’t know what we were doing and there was way too much interference. So from our perspective, we didn’t get to enjoy our children as much as we wanted to, because we were always being criticized. But now our children are adults, and we are a very close family with lots of shared interests. I’m back studying again and we are still young enough to have a really great life.

Personally, I don’t think there is a ‘perfect’ age, just the right time for you.

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68 Heather Dawn February 2, 2010

I want to have kids in my late 20s (I am 22 now). However, I am from Utah so I am getting to be an old lady because I dont want kids until then :) A lot of people I went to high school with are married and pregnant now. One girl is pregnant with her THIRD at my age! Im the odd man out and perfectly happy with that! I want have my career started before babies.

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69 Lindsey @ Sound Eats February 2, 2010

Well one thing’s for certain, and it’s that both Ross and I want two kids. Ross gets into logistics that he wants to have a boy first, but I just tell him that’s up to him. ;)

As far as a timeline, it’s changed. When we first got married (I was 21 and he was 24) we were thinking of maybe having kids around when I was 26 and he was 29. I think Ross was really into having at least one kid before he turned 30 (I think his mom was 24-25 when she had him, so he’s afraid of being an “old dad”). However, I feel less and less ready for kids, esp. since I’m starting a back to school journey. I’d ideally like to start at 29. But we’ll see.

Honestly there’s only so much “effort” you can put into a plan, because things never go as planned. Look at me – I thought I was going to be a professional orchestral flutist, and now I’m pursuing becoming an R.D. All that to say, just roll with what life throws at you, when it throws it at ya. :)

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70 Bree February 2, 2010

For so long I wanted kids early so we could be around longer. Now that we’ve been married almost 4 years I realize how much a child would change things also and that we want to have SO much money saved to feel secure. It’s one thing for things to be iffy financially when it’s just us two figuring stuff out…but with a child to support that would scare me to death. People have said “it’s never the right time…you just have to do it”…but still!

I will be 28 in a few days and my Mom had me (the first of 4) when she was 28…but we just aren’t ready yet. We need to grow our business and just have “us” time for longer. It really took being married for me to realize the HUGE change a child brings and that you can never go back. This quote sums it up perfectly – “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Also, we want to adopt! So that leaves out the part about wanting to be younger so it’s easier physically. :-)

Has Leah got you speeding things up? :-P

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71 Ellen February 2, 2010

I tried the Ezekiel tortillas last week for the first time http://bluetreegreenheart.com/2010/01/26/good-taco/ . True, they are a bit tough, but considering how much healthier they are, I think they make a great taco! They weren’t too bad at all.

On another note—I always said I would have kids when I turned 30. Now that 30 is two years away, I’m thinking 32. Or 34. Or 35!

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72 kellyo February 2, 2010

I am childless by choice. I never really had that motherly instinct so didn’t force it. I am 46 years old and have been married for over 23 years with NO regrets! Great question!

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73 Ann February 3, 2010

Thank you for this! I’m 25 and have never really had the motherly instinct either. The idea of having kids just doesn’t appeal to me, but it’s always the kind of thing where you wonder “gee, will I regret that decision later in life and wish I’d done it after all?” 46 is still a little ways away for me, and a lot could change, but it’s really great to hear from somebody who chose not to have kids and has no regrets about that choice. It’s been great reading comments from other childless-by-choice women here too… it seems to be a minority, but I appreciate reading other’s reasons and views on the matter.

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74 Orla February 3, 2010

Thank you to everyone who is childless by choice and has been brave enough to comment :)

I’m 29, and all my friends are dying to start their families. While I wonder what my life will be like when they stop being my friends and start being somebody’s mommies, I would never have a child as an insurance policy against regret. I’ve never had a nurturing instinct and can’t stand children, so I think my fate is sealed.

Thankfully my fiancee feels the same way, but my family and friends all thing there’s something wrong with me :(

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75 Marissa February 3, 2010

I’m one of the childfree by choice women as well!! I like kids; I just don’t want any of my own.

It’s so reassuring to hear other women have made this choice. People (including my family) can be so judgmental and rude when I tell them I don’t want kids. While they may not understand my decision, I just want them to respect that it is my decision.

I also don’t want to get married. I have a wonderful boyfriend and neither of us feels the need to get married. We’re committed to each other and (for us) that’s all that matters.

Marriage and kids…it’s all a personal choice. What I don’t get is the judgements people pass on each other about such personal choices. What works for one woman isn’t going to work for all of us.

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76 Emily Jane February 2, 2010

We’re getting married this year (at 25) and our plan is to try and have kids around 27-28. We both want to be still young(ish) when they turn 18 so we can still be able to travel and enjoy life – but also so we can have the energy to raise them!! My parents had me at 22 – looking back I was nowhere near mature enough for that at 22. But I think now we’re in a really good, really sound, mature place – so if they come at 26, 27, 28… I think any of those would be great :)

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77 Maura February 2, 2010

27 is the magic number for me, but who knows? It seems so far away, but it’s really not.

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78 Caroline February 2, 2010

I’m only twenty one so obviously kids are a ways away. But ideally I would like three or four kids, so maybe have my first child when I’m 27 or 28. Ah! Maybe it’s not so far away after all?

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79 liane February 2, 2010

I just had one of those long indepth conversations about life, love, kids with some friends in the past week… I’m less than 2 weeks away from my 30th b-day, and for some reason, when I was younger, I always assumed I’d be married and settled and ready to start a family at 30.

I’m about as far away from that right now as you can get:)

I am surrounded by friends of all different life stages (single, married, kids, no kids, divorced…) and I’ve come to the realization, that while I love kids, I don’t see myself as a mom. I have voiced that aloud over the past year and the response is usually “oh you’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy” and I really don’t think so.
For me, I know that having kids isn’t a dealbreaker in a relationship, but that being said, if I did meet a guy who really wanted kids, I would seriously rethink my current stance. I’m also okay with having a relationship with a guy who already has kids.

It’s very interesting to me how people talk down to those people who have made the choice not to have kids. It totally fascinates me that people are so judgemental about this issue. It’s such a hot topic!

Great post as usual!

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80 Hillary [Nutrition Nut on the Run] February 2, 2010

Are you thinking it’s baby-making time? ; )

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81 Julianne February 2, 2010

So many bloggers have babies on the mind lately! I know more about natural births and cloth diapers than I ever needed to know because of bloggers who have had or are having babies. Its all good info to keep in mind for when I’m married and ready for children (in my 30’s I hope, I’m 28 now).

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82 Mae @ OhhMay February 2, 2010

The comments today are very interesting. I’m 17 and I say now that I’ll never have kids. I know there’s SO much time and experinces one has to endure before making that decision, but I think I would be the worst mother ever!! haha

Re: the tortillas! Sprouted tortillas toast up really crunchy, so maybe try a pizza on it? Cook it in a pan while assembleing topings (tomato paste, veggies, and I use a mixture of hummus and nutritional yeast for cheese+ a drizzle of tahini) and then broil, that way it cooks from the top and bottom. Here’s a link to the page, if you would like!!

http://ohhmay.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/its-a-pizza-pie-part-2-la-galleria-de-pizza/

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83 Erica H. February 2, 2010

I’m another one of those “usual lurkers” but I’ve been reading for almost a year, and this subject is so interesting!

Each woman in my family is very different in terms of when they had children. My great grandma had my grandma when she was 16 (!!), which wasnt that unusual in 1923, when my grandma was born.

Both of my grandmothers had my mother and father, respectively, at age 30. (Weird!)

I was born right before my mom’s 33rd birthday. I have two younger brothers– my mom had my youngest brother when she was 39! I have an aunt that had four kids starting at 18; I have another who had 2 kids: One at 42 and 44 (That aunt is extremely healthy). So I have all kinds of precedents.

I used to think that I wanted to have kids relatively early, when I was 26. Now I’m 23, actually in my 20s, and I’m realizing how great it is. And I surprise myself by knowing I’m going to push that age back probably until I’m 30. I’m dating the man I think I’ll marry,and I’m realizing how much more we have to do together, and how much more we want to do together. And if it means that I’m ‘selfish’ to want to do that before I have kids, I think I’m okay with that. I love kids (I come from a big Italian family) but I love what I, as a woman, have the freedom to do. Launch a big career, run marathons, travel. To be a good mother, I think, I want (and need) to do all of those things, and fulfill my dreams outside of motherhood. Then I can tell my kids to chase their dreams and be happy when they do it, instead of watching them do so and wondering what would have happened if I had followed my own.

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84 laurie February 2, 2010

Interesting question about children! I didn’t get married until I was 36, and didn’t have my first until 38–and he was difficult to have–we finally conceived with in vitro fertilization.

I was a person who lived abroad, traveled all over the world, followed my dreams…but when I finally got married, I wanted children immediately. I had always wanted a big family, but I am 40 now and after a few more failed in vitro attempts, it looks like one may be it for us unless we adopt. I try to live with out regrets, but in retropsect both my husband and realize now that it would have been easier for us if we had started trying to have kids a little earlier. Being a parent is the most amazing experience in the world and we are so happy and blessed with our son. We lived in New York City, and it seemed like everyone married late and had children late, but what we didn’t know at the time was how many people were having a hard time conceiving at that time!
There are benefits of having kids young in life, but there are also benefits having them later–financial stability, emotional maturity, a tendency to not take little things for granted. There is NEVER a perfect time to have children, though.
There were some great comment tonight-thanks for getting this conversation going!

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85 Jolene February 2, 2010

I got married at 21, and will be married 6 years this July. When we got married, my hubby and I always said we would wait a year or two and then have kids. We never realized how fast that year or two would go by!! We still don’t have kids, and I would still like to wait another year or two!! My aunt is a OB GYN though, and she told me that women are waiting a lot longer to have kids these days, but fertility really does drop A LOT starting at 30. That got me worried a bit. I wish I had more time – none of my friends are even close to having kids, so I would be so alone if I did :-(

What about you!!??

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86 Salina February 3, 2010

Interesting question — For myself (I’m 23) I feel like I have waited a couple years too long, but then I read baby mags and see mama’s who are my age and think “shizz that’s young” — But they’re only my age! My husband is 25 and we felt that we wanted to start our family while we’re young. We are definitely family orientated people, and enjoy going road-tripping and camping — Experiences that I believe Children would only enhance. I’m not sure how many we’re going to have, we discussed it before we got married, and struck the deal of 2 kids, but I was allowed 3 if we adopted one. My hubby doesn’t want to drive a mini-van!! lol. As far as money goes, we are struggling a lot, but we have a house and a secure job and a very supportive family behind us, so i’m not too worried. At the end of the day, I don’t think we could ever have been “financially secure” and we decided that it was now or never — after all, I think that sacrificing a bit of money for a child that will love you (and you will love) unconditionally is beautiful and so worth it.. I’m so excited to be meeting my little one soon! (Due 7th April)

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87 Carbzilla February 3, 2010

I’m glad I’m not the only one who is child-free by choice (yep, that’s what I call it). I love kids – I just really didn’t and don’t want that job. This mindset gave me a lot of freedom when choosing a life partner and how I wanted to spend my time/life. Looking back, if I were to change anything I still wouldn’t have kids, but I would have worked harder on my career.

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88 Britt February 3, 2010

I really wanted to be done having babies by the time I was 30, but it looks like we’ll be starting around 27-28 and we’d like 3. I’m happy with that timing – it will be perfect for us! :)

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89 Logan February 3, 2010

I married for the first time at 22. My first (and only) child was born when I was 28. I would have loved to have had more children, but if I was going to have only one, the one I had was/is sheer perfection. She is now 19 years old and a freshman in college. If I had it to do all over again, if anything I would have had a baby sooner, but my “then” husband would have preferred no children, but agreed to have one. We got pregnant on the first try, too! We divorced when my daughter was 2 and I didn’t remarry until I was 40 and not interested in more children that late in my life.
I’m not a big planner, so I definitely advocate letting nature take its course at least when it comes to that first pregnancy.

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90 Gabriela February 3, 2010

The Ezekiel wraps definitely take some getting used to, but I love them now! Nothing beats the bread, though.

Ideally, I’d like to wait at least 5 years after I’m married to have kids to enjoy my husband’s company without all the stress! My parents waited 13! Hopefully I’ll be ready to have kids by the time I’m 30-35.

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91 Chelsea February 3, 2010

I always said that I wanted to be done by the time I was 30. I’m turning 30 this year and we are done at 1 =D. I had her when I was 27 and I wouldn’t change it for the world. She came into our lives right at the right time :)

I actually live in an area where more people DON’T have kids than DO so the majority of my friends don’t have kids and never want them. That part is kind of hard but I’m meeting more people with kids.

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92 Katie@ Two Lives, One Lifestyle February 3, 2010

I used to never want kids but after I was about 20, that started changing more and more. I want to have kids someday but as of now I’m not married, in grad school (aka no income), and basically am totally not ready! My mom was 23 when she had me, and I LOVE how close we are. I think out of all my friends, I definitely am the closest with my mom and some of that definitely has to do with the generation gap not being too large. My boyfriend’s parents were in their late 30s and he agrees that the age gap makes a difference, and he apparently has always wanted to have kids at a younger age than they did.
Anyway… John, the boyf, works in research at an in vitro fertility clinic and I have learned so much from him about getting pregs (that sounds just wrong). We have way more topics about getting pregnant than most just-dating people our age ;). Basically, while it seems more and more people have babies in their late thirties, fertility REALLY goes downhill and complications start to multiply. I can’t remember stats but if you are thinking of waiting til later 30s, do some research!!

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93 Cynthia (It All Changes) February 3, 2010

We don’t have kids yet but want to adopt. We are hoping to start the process this fall. We waited since we got married later and wanted to enjoy the first few years of marriage without kids.

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94 Jenny February 3, 2010

i have been itching to try ezekiel wraps too — would you buy them again?

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95 Amy Ramos February 3, 2010

Glad you asked. I am 33 (about to turn 34 in 11 days) and my husband is 33. We are trying for our first and we are experiencing some bumps along the road. I don’t think I would be able to be as financially (or mentally) ready in my 20’s. In my 20’s, I was still living at home, had a part time job (no stability), going to college and going out (parties) every night. Plus, I wanted to finish school before anything else.

I can say that age is just a number. You can be 22 and have fertility problems or you can be 34 and have fertility problems.
I think women put some much pressure on themselves (among everything else) to have children at “the right time or the right age.” Hate to break it to you but there is no right time or age. Do what is best for you (and your significant other).

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96 Morgan @ Healthy Happy Place February 3, 2010

I have total baby fever! I’m turning 26 next week… getting married in may…and I’d like to have my first baby by the time I’m 28 or 29. We’ll see how it all pans out but that’s my hope!

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97 Dagne February 3, 2010

I just had a baby 2 months ago and I am 28. I knew I was always ready to have children (even at 20!) but my husband and I also wanted to spend some time just the 2 of us before hand. We have been together for 8 years. I find this is just the right time for us – not too early not too late! My DH is 35.

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98 Blaine February 3, 2010

Gotta say, I love the Ezekiel tortillas. So much better than flour ones, the taste is great in my opinion. If you warm them up a bit, they get softer.
The english muffins are freaking amazing though – you MUST try them!

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99 Katrina M February 3, 2010

i’m turning 26 tomorrow…. one of my good friends is pregnant, and both of my brothers wives had babies last year. we got married last may, and with the baby mania wanted to start trying right away!!! we got pregnant… and then miscarried right after christmas (as if a miscarriage wasn’t hard enough on it’s own, it started dec 26th…)

so now…. i don’t know. i was depressed, gained more weight than i am comfortable admitting to, and feel like i need to get my head on straight. my husband’s job is kind of up in the air right now, not sure which direction he’s headed in, so it doesn’t feel like such a great time anymore. BUT we still both want a kid really bad. so i’m working on getting healthy and losing some of these pounds, and maybe in a few months we’ll talk about it again, and re-evaluate where we’re at. i definitely think it’s good for both of you to talk about it and make sure you’re on the same page.

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100 Michelle @ Eatingjourney February 3, 2010

are you trying to tell us something? ;)

I want kids. But only when I am with someone that I am sure will be a good father, who wants a family and when I am at the place in my life where I am willing to sacrafice parts of my life to ensure that my children are raised well. That means for me staying home with them.

Good topic.

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101 Kristin February 3, 2010

I always thought I would start having children when I was 23 and I just turned 25 in november. The date is not as important I just want to keep moving forward in life and I have always wanted children so I would like to move on to that. I have had a very weird feeling for some reason though that when I try to have children I won’t be able to but really I have no idea. I would like to experience giving birth and know that a little piece of my boyfriend and are in this little person but I would love to adopt just as much I think I would be just as satisfied adopting first before even trying to have a baby. I would also like to get married one day but don’t think that I have to be married to have children.

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102 Patrice February 3, 2010

Even though I’m only 20, I know that I want kids someday, and I think I’m going to take a page from my mother’s book. She had her first (me) when she was 30. I have heard from many many people that you don’t become a ‘real person’, or who you will be for the rest of your life, until you are 30. Before that there is still so much possibility for change, and why make it any more stressful/confusing by having children? Anyway, I also think that it will give me time to settle down and really have my act together before I create someone who will be completely dependent on me.

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103 Maureen February 3, 2010

There is still a lot of change after you are 30 as well. I am 52 and still learning about myself.

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104 Nicole T. February 3, 2010

No kids for me. Every time I think I might want one, I hear the kid downstairs screaming his head off for the fourth time that day. No thanks! :P

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105 S February 3, 2010

You know, before this summer I was 100% the girl who wanted children when she first got married, but realized after several years that she could wait indefinitely because being a young working married couple is just so nice. There is so much freedom and flexibility inherent to it. I will be 28 in June and I’ve been married for five years. I would’ve been happy to hold off for years yet.

That was before we hit our “someday” mark this summer. Years ago we set an absolute deadline for starting a family if we hadn’t started already. This deadline was designed to snap us back to reality yet still give us enough time to have 2-4 children before I’d enter shaky maternal age territory where increased health risks and decreased fertility become a real concern.

When we reached this deadline and I got over the initial shock, I realized something. I can make more money later. I can travel more later. I can run more races later. I can’t get pregnant later. If I miss this reproductive window that is open to me now, there will be no other chance to naturally try for biological children. In the (hopefully) long timeline of my life, so many things are possible at almost all ages but having children is not one of them. I have to start now.

Realizing this gave me the push I needed to overcome the fear and uncertainty I had about whether or not it was the right time. We will probably never be more ready than this and I will never be more physically able to support life. Plus, from a purely phyical standpoint, the sooner I start, the faster my body and energy will bounce back.

After we hit our deadline this summer, we took several months to double-check that we were all ready. I got up-to-date on any remaining dental and medical work. I had a pre-conception appt. complete with bloodwork. I’ve taken prenatal vitamins for years so I was in good shape there. We reviewed our insurance to make sure we had the necessary coverage and also started saving more.

We haven’t told anyone but we officially started trying last month. :) It’s scary but exciting and I feel great about this.

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106 Run Sarah February 3, 2010

I want to start having kids after residency at around 30! I loveee Ezekiel tortillas – the taste took a bit getting used to but now I prefer them to softer tortillas. The English muffins are amazing too – surprisingly dense and filling as I always consider muffins to be calorie dense for their size.

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107 Libby February 3, 2010

I had my first when I was 28 and the second when I was 30. I’m happy with the age I was. Had done some travelling, spent time with DH (we got married young at 21), had our own home, etc. Now 10 years later I’m really happy to have had them when I did, especially when I see older Mums as their kids hit 20 (and they are in the 50-60 age group) and grandparents are very elderly. However, while I consider late twenties to be the ideal age it really depends on when you are ready for it. Babies are LOTS of work and each age seems to bring its own challenges. I’m now dealing with a tween – what fun!!!

Libby in Australia

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108 Ariana @Artarra February 3, 2010

Haha, all my pictures with a green backdrop are made on a kind of yogamat :-p

I am not thinking of having babies yet… Maybe with 28 or 29? ;-)

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109 Heather (Heather's Dish) February 3, 2010

i’d like to start having children by the time i’m 28 or 29, simply because we have several friends who found they were infertile really late in the game. i hope i have a fighting chance!

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110 Jill February 3, 2010

I am 8 mths pregnant as of tomorrow! I am 30 yrs old.

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111 Leah @ Simply Fabulous February 3, 2010

Even though i’ll still be 27 when I have our baby, i’ll be just shy of 28. Steve is 35. I think this has worked for us. I don’t really think you have to take age into account, but more so how ready you are. I think we are having our first at the perfect time. We both have secure jobs with a good income. Yea we have bills to pay, but when is a married couple not going to have bills? Probably never :) I’ve had some comments about why we didn’t wait until we moved to Canada and while that seems reasonable we just don’t know when that will be exactly. It might be next year (and i’m planning on that!!!), but anything could happen -we might not be able to sell our house right away, visa/sponsorship could take a while to get Steve to Canada… anything.

I think life changes so quickly that we can never predict what the next year or two years is going to be like. So if something feels right, you gotta go for it (and that means choosing to have babies right now OR not).

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112 Chrissie February 3, 2010

I don’t want children personally, and at 38 I think soon that decision will be made irrevocable by my biological clock anyway. If I did want children though I definitely wouldn’t have done it very young – I would’ve waited till I was very secure financially and had done anything I really wanted to achieve in my life – it sounds silly, but taking holidays is harder with kids to consider, things like training for a marathon would be harder if you had to incorporate childcare and quality time – even starting your own business might seem like to great a risk with kids to consider. I don’t think I would ever have had time to have children as well!

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113 Jess February 3, 2010

I’ve always felt like I didn’t want to have kids but kept in mind that the feeling could arise at any moment. So far I’m 26 and the idea of having kids is still horrifying.

My boyfriend wants kids and I told him I would start considering it at age 30. I don’t know if I’ll want them then either but that’s the age I’ve set for starting to think about it.

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114 Julia February 3, 2010

Hi Angela!

I loveeee the Ezekial tortillas that you tried in this post–I’m always making wraps and burritos with them. I have not read all of the comments, so maybe someone already suggested this, but STEAMING the tortillas makes them SO much more malleable and palatable. When you steam them, they are not tough and chewy and dry as they are when you take them right out of the bag.

To steam mine, I just boil water in a pot, put a vegetable steamer thingamabob over it, and rest the tortilla on top for about 10 seconds or so on each side. Some microwaves also have steaming options, although i think you can put it between two moist paper towels and microwave it.

Anyway, steaming revolutionized my burrito/wrap making endeavors! Try them again this way!

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115 Brooke February 3, 2010

Hi,
Great question and I have to agree it is very individual choice. I am 31 and have a 5 year old and twins who just turned 3. I mostly wanted to have them before 35 when health risks increase however only if I was financially stable and had a strong relationship.

I think it is important to ask yourself if you are ready for a big change in your life and relationship. You also need to be realistic about life after baby and maybe think ahead to some of those changes on your current life. You can never fully realize the impact until you have a baby but it helps. For instance, do you enjoy going out and having your own schedule with only 2 person financial demands? Are you ready to lose quality time with your husband? Are you ready to sleep less? I’m not trying to be negative because if you are ready for big changes and ready to change some of your emotional focus and adjust your life then a baby is the most wonderful thing. Kids teach us a lot but you have to be open to it and not resentful because of how drastically your life changes. So make sure you have had the time to enjoy your life and your husband but once your ready to have a new adventure then enjoy every moment and be open mentally to shift some ideals. I think you will be a wonderful mother when you do chose to have one. Maybe your next food venture in baking will be include a few baby and toddle foods adventures :)

Oh and when you have baby 6AM might feel like sleeping in :) Funny it is hard to picture loosing so much sleep but somehow you adjust and it all is fine.
B

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116 Heather February 3, 2010

I had my baby at 23 and split up with his father shortly after. We were never married and it just wasnt in the cards for us. We both now are with people we truely love and we just find our son surrounded by double the love. We WOULDNT recommend having children out of wed lock but we wouldnt change a thing!!

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117 Kelli February 3, 2010

I had my kids late 20’s I think it was the perfect time to have kids for us young enough to retire at a decent age but not too young to not be ready financially and maturity wise.

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118 Jennifer S February 3, 2010

Great question! I had my first at 28 and my second at 30. Both pregnancies were really easy and the timing worked out great for me. Those early years with a 2 year old and a new born were exhausting, but wonderful. My brother just adopted his first child at 40 and he’s really having a more difficult time with it, but still wonderful. ;)

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119 Jessica @ How Sweet It Is February 3, 2010

I don’t really like ezekial wraps either – so tough!

Awesome question…I want to have them before 30 … probably within the next 2 years.

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120 Rebecca February 3, 2010

I agree with the wraps, not so good. The same company makes a brown rice wrap, that appears softer.

I haven’t had any yet. Would like them by 38. I’m currently 31, and not yet married.

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121 Amy February 3, 2010

I just turned 30 and am a newlywed (although my hubby and I have been together for almost six years). We definitely want kids at some point, but we’re just not ready yet. We are both really ambitious and focused on building our careers – and our jobs have kept us traveling/moving for the past few years. Our goal is to settle in one city, buy a home, and then re-evaluate where we are in two years. So, I think we’ll probably start trying somewhere around 32-34 – but not until it feels right.

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122 Mr. Money February 3, 2010

My wife and I really want to get pregnant this year. She’s 26 and I’m 32. I think we’re at good ages.

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123 christie, honoring health February 3, 2010

My husband and I are not planning to have children and I am 33.

As for the coconut milk, I used to love it in coffee but have since given up caffeine. It is so tasty!

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124 Jennie {in Wonderland} February 3, 2010

Good question.

I’m in a unique position, because my boyfriend is so much younger than me. I’m 27 and he’s 22. We’re committed and want to get married when he’s done University [this May, woo!], so probably when I’m 30 or so. I feel really young, to be honest, and don’t feel that I should be hemmed in by what society expects. Maybe everyone else is having babies by the time they’re 28, but I’m comfortable with waiting. I believe everything will happen as it should. :-)

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125 Natasha February 3, 2010

Well, I guess it’s time to de-lurk! :) This question has been on my mind a lot lately.

I’m in a similar situation, Jennie, but in our case I’m the one who’s younger (I’m 27 and my fiance is 44). At first glance our age gap may appear insurmountable, but after 7 years together, a move across the country, our upcoming wedding, and becoming vegan together, I completely agree that one shouldn’t be held back by expectations!

That being said, however, I love kids and always thought that I’d have one or two, but in the end it’s not a deal-breaker for us. For practical reasons we’d want/need to have a child within the next couple of years, but I’m just graduating from university, I feel so young and we really want to travel!

Like you said though, everything will happen as it should and life can be amazing and fulfilling with biological or adopted children, or none at all :)

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126 sarah (the SHU box) February 3, 2010

i’m ready soon :) a few career-related details need to be worked out, but i definitely have baby fever. hopefully will start within the next 1-2 years! i kind of want 3 so i feel like i need to get crackin’.

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127 rachael February 3, 2010

I got pregnant at 24 and gave birth at 25, and we had gotten married and bought a house in the same year. The first year was rough. It was a lot of huge changes for us to face at once. However, we worked through our struggles and I love being a youngish mom. We have a lot of fun as a family. If I had been a little older or we were married a little longer maybe things would have been easier or maybe not. Having a baby definitely changes your life in an unfathomable way, not matter what your age.

And ditto the person that said 6am is sleeping in when you have a baby!

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128 Sara February 3, 2010

I just turned 27 and my husband is 31. 28-30 would be great for our first to give us a little more time to enjoy being newlyweds, as we have been married 8 months. But then again, you can’t always plan these things!

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129 Kate February 3, 2010

Great question!! I want them when the timing is right, but not after 37ish. I want to make sure I’m healthy to carry the child in my belly for 9 months, but that I’m also not 70 when they graduate from kindergarten! But at the current time, I’m in no rush… gotta get a ring first! :)

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130 Ruth February 3, 2010

The hubby and I chose 2012 as the year to start a family. I’ll be 29. We knew we wouldn’t be able to financially support a child any earlier. Now that it’s two years away I’m still not sure we’ll be able to do it right, but biologically it seems like the right time. We’ve been either married or dating since 2000 so we’ve had a whole decade together already!

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131 Jenn @ Livewellfit February 3, 2010

I was also disappointed with the ezekiel wraps. I’m a definite fan of the english muffin style but I always toast them. Overall it is a much harder bread than others.

I just turned a big 30 this year and I’m getting married in a few months. I always thought that I would be married and having children by 30 but I truly feel I’m in the perfect place at the perfect time. I do think we will have children somewhat soon- for various reasons but rushed is not a word I would use. I do worry about the high risk factors in your late 30’s but otherwise- it will happen when my body is ready (well, and when we are too!)

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132 Roselyn February 3, 2010

I’m 32 and had my first child at 27 (almost 28). I think that was perfect for me. Hubby & I had been married 3 years and we’re pretty stable financially. My body bounced back easier from my first pregnancy than my second. I had my second child at 30 and at 32 I am DONE! :)

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133 Paige @ Running Around Normal February 3, 2010

Don’t give up hope on the Ezekiel wraps! They make the best pizza crust EVAH. Simply toast it in the oven, add on some hummus and roasted veggies marinated in hoisen sauce, pop in the oven for a few more minutes. I’m obsessed. Obsessed!

I don’t feel the pressure to have kids yet, but I’m only 25. I feel like if I had kids now, I’d be WAY too selfish to give my all to them. I think I’d like to have kids around 28-29.

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134 Kim February 3, 2010

I had my son, Jon, at 23 (he is now almost 14 – ACK!!). I had my daughter, Hannah, at 29. In hindsight, 23 was young. I was at a rough point in my life and it was not planned. However, I think that Jon may have saved my life. I was headed down a path of destruction & getting pregnant with him forced me to straighten up & take responsibility for my actions. Looking back now, I wouldn’t change a thing about my life.

Kim

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135 Laura Georgina February 3, 2010

Hmmm, does Miss Angela have a confession to make??

I never saw myself as having kids, but something has changed in the last few years (badgering by husband and family, maybe? Kidding). In all seriousness, I realized I’d regret not having them a lot more than having them and have actually found myself thinking of it a lot in the last year or so. I’ve also come to the realization that I may feel settled enough to think ANY time will be the right time, so might as well dive in.

So definitely some tick-tock action going (I just turned 31), but I think I still need a year or two to get used to the idea, and right now we’re not in the best situation financially, job wise (me), or location wise (Trinidad hospitals are the stuff of nightmares!).

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136 Kelly February 3, 2010

Such a good question I think about this often. I’m 25 and about to get married, but my fiance is about to turn 29. I am NO where near ready to have kids (I teach kindergarten, so I know too much about what it involves), but I’m hoping by 30ish I am ready…still gives me some time :)

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137 Sarah February 3, 2010

I had my first at 30. He is 18 months and now I just found out I’m pregnant with number 2. I am so glad I waited. I got married at 28. I really feel like I got to live my single life before starting a family. I was totally ready. I can see the benefit of doing earlier if you were in a committed relationship though. If I had married my college boyfriend and had babies though…I would definitely be divorced and very unhappy. I think the most important thing is that you’re totally ready to give a lot of your time to someone else and that you are in a committed relationship with someone that wants the same as you. I don’t think I could have survived the first year without my husband. I know people do it and I give them a lot of credit!

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138 N. February 3, 2010

Physically…I think your mid-twenties would be perfect to have a child. That is when a woman is at her strongest and healthiest. The older you get the more complications tend to come up. I remember my mom telling me when she had me at 27 the doctor who delivered me said that she was almost too old for child birth. Lol! Crazy doctor. But in a way he’s right.

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139 Jessica P February 3, 2010

My cut off age for starting to have kids is 30. I also know that I want to have at least 2, maybe three kids, and I don’t want to be having my kids when I’m too old. For the longest time I didn’t even want kids, then I wasn’t sure. I’m 27 now, so I have some time, but I’m really getting the urge!! Sometimes I do wish I had started earlier like my mom- she was something like 21 and 22 when she had me and my brother, so by the time she was 43 we were all out of the house!

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140 Lizzie February 3, 2010

This is a great question and one that I have been wrestling with since I was 29. When I was in high school I always said I would be married and have my first child at 24 . . . well, I did get married, but not in the usual fashion (immigration issues up the wazoo!) and now my husband and I have been together 9 years and still no kids! However, we’re thinking of maybe changing that this year. It has been hard though. People ALWAYS ask that question and when you say you’re not sure, then it’s either, “well, you had better hurry up” or “you have no idea what you’re missing out on” etc etc. I know – trust me. I have been babysitting my boss’s children for the last 11 years and started with the oldest when she was 9 months and the youngest when she was 6 weeks. The looking after the baby isn’t the big deal for me. It’s having to go through pregnancy and deal with 9 months of not being myself.
The other thought that concerns me is that our child could probably be an only child – what does that mean for them? Our friends are all at different life stages too which makes it interesting.

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141 deisegirl February 3, 2010

I’m pretty sure (not 100% but as close as you can be with these things) that I don’t want children. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 years and I told him from very early on how I felt. I am the youngest in my family (at 28)and yet the first grandchild was only born last year so there wasn’t any pressure to have children and now my dad has a grandson to dote on there’s even less pressure! I just don’t talk about it with my family though. I love my nephew but even being around him I think “this is definitely not somethat I want in my life”. I feel sad about it sometimes and maybe I’ll change my mind but the feeling seems to grow stronger every year. Not something you mention in polite company though, not wanting children is definitely a taboo subject!

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142 AGS February 3, 2010

I agree. I think that “not wanting children” tends to reflect badly on you — for whatever reasons. More I think that because most women *do* want children (if not *now*, than at some point in the future), it just seems odd to most people if you don’t want them/aren’t interested. I’ve just never been drawn to babies/children at all.

I am married nearly 4 years, and my husband knows my lack of interest in having children. What we agreed was that we would never take having kids off the table, just revisit the topic periodically to see how we felt. He wants them, but I am truly blessed with feeling no pressure from him at all one way or the other. I like to hold the topic lightly, and remember that inclinations and desires change with time.

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143 Lizzie February 3, 2010

Then there’s the other issue – once you have one child the question becomes. “When are you going to have a sibling?”!!

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144 deisegirl February 4, 2010

I think because I am not married people are more concerned with asking “when is the big day happening?” so I don’t get questioned on babies. My manager in work is younger than me and has been married for a couple of years and she gets the “when are you starting a family” question quite a bit. Sometimes people just don’t know when to BACK OFF lol..

AGS I know what you mean when you say “hold the issue lightly”. Who knows if the maternal instinct will just kick in overnight. I have been known to change my mind on things all the time. I just know that when I held my nephew for the first time I felt a surge of love for something so precious and tiny but NOT a “oh I want one too.” I lost my mother relatively young as well so maybe fear of being completely at sea with a baby is part of it. There are SO many reasons!

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145 Meaghen February 3, 2010

I would like to have kids between 30 and 33 probably. But I would like to me married for a few years before I have them. I’m only 26 now though so my boyfriend and I have a quite a few more years before we need to worry about this!

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146 Heather @ Side of Sneakers February 3, 2010

I’ve always said around 27 for the first one…but that might be because that’s how old my mom was when she had me? I also know how much can change from year to year. A lot of it also has to do with not having many friends who are ready for kids- I know it’s not their decision, but having a kid is a big impact on your whole lifestyle, so you have to include your whole lifestyle in your decision.

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147 caitlin February 3, 2010

i want a baby right now but my husband isn’t ready. :( i would seriously get pregnant tomorrow if he was game.

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148 Teri February 3, 2010

Ezekial english muffins are amazing! Especially toasted. YUM. You’ll like them better than the bread, I bet.

I want kids in maybe 3-5 years? (I’m only 25.) But, I have friends my age with 2 kids already and they think that I can’t have kids. Sheesh! ;)

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149 Heidi February 3, 2010

I had my first little girl when I was 25 (and married for 2 years) and my son when I was 27. In the moment, my age was perfect, so I thought, but looking back on it, I almost wish I had waited until I was alittle older. I’m 30 now and they are the light of my life, but I feel like maybe I didn’t travel enough, maybe I didn’t party enough, maybe I didn’t discover who I was and now that I’m older I feel like I missed out and need to make up for it but can’t. I don’t know if that’s just a quarter life crisis of sorts going on…I love them like crazy though and they definitely make my world a better place!! :)

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150 Juli @ Bless My Heart February 3, 2010

I was married at 23, had my first child at 25 and my second at 28. The plan is to get pregnant again at the end of the summer for the third and last time (I’ll be 32). My husband is three years younger than I. It has worked for us and our plan for our lives. I wanted to have a big family and have them all relatively close so that they will have better relationships with each other, and also so that I can get them all out of the house while I still have some “good years” to go enjoy the world with my husband :)

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151 Orla February 3, 2010

Between the ultrasound and the baby question, you/ somebody close to you has something to tell us, or this is a very drawn out April Fools joke!

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152 Jessica @ The Process of Healing February 3, 2010

I’ve heard great things about Ezekial muffins too, cinnamon raisin… yum!

And to answer your question.. I would say that I want kids by age 30. I used to have it all planned out and I actually thought i’d be married my now. But here I am, not married. Or engaged. Or even close. But you know, i’m ok with that. I’m enjoying being single for a while. Because chances are, the years you are single will be MUCH less than the years of your life married. Enjoy while you can, I say!

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153 Olivia February 3, 2010

I’ll be 24 next month and am hoping to at least be thinking about kids around 30-32 ish. I’m no where near marriage, i.e. no relationship at the moment, so that will obviously take a few years. I want to make sure I’ve gotten the chance to just be married with no kids for a little while. If you had asked this even a year ago I would have said “no kids, absolutely not.” All of a sudden though around this time last year my maternal instinct totally kicked in and I decided I definitely want babies. And a lot. A big family (4 or 5 maybe?) – I know crazy. Come to think of it though, if I don’t start until 32, I’ll be like 40 raising a 2 or 3 yr old! Now I’m not so sure, LOL.

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154 skinnyrunner February 3, 2010

im 27 and id like to wait a couple more years, im having too much fun with the hubbie by ourselves!
but i really hope my ovaries don’t grow mold and cobwebs on them by then….

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155 Shayna February 3, 2010

De-lurking to answer this question. I had my first just before I turned 30 and second when I was 32 (they are 30 months apart). My husband and I had had the chance to travel, I had lived in Paris for 4 months and I felt fairly established in my career. I knew I felt ready but you will never be fully prepared. I wouldn’t change a thing now. Even though I am constantly exhausted and finding the time to exercise while working full time is a struggle, having kids was the best decision I ever made (after marrying my husband of course). Everyday they put a smile on my face and coming home at then end of the day to two kids who just want to hug you, cuddle and spend time with you makes everything else worthwhile.

By the way, just received my first order of Glo bars and am loving them!

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156 Susan February 3, 2010

I had my first at 34. He was very much planned as was the timing of his arrival. I agree with others, I felt like I had gotten out all of my partying in my 20’s and was ready. It was also a good time with where I had gotten in my career. However, I think you can almost always find a reason it may not be the “perfect” time. I also think it’s important to keep in mind that no matter how well you “plan” the timing of your pregnancy, it may not happen as quickly as you’d like. It takes the average couple something like 6 months to conceive.

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157 Sophie @ yumventures February 3, 2010

I consider myself too young to have kids (I’m 24) but my best friend from high school has a 4 month old and is totally in love! I think you have to think about where you are in your life. My Mom had me when she was 28, which she loved, but she was also at the beginning of an art career that was pushed aside when I came along, and never really came back. I think once a couple is happy with staying where they are in life for a while, THAT is the perfect time. The number game can be different for every person.

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158 Lynda February 3, 2010

I was married and had my first baby @ 17, my second @ 20, and my third @ 23. I wouldn’t change it for the world! Here I am 25 1/2 years later and I have my first grandson. He is beautiful and I’m still relatively young (43) and healthy enough to enjoy him.

And now I have to go and find some Ezekial english muffins!

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159 Elizabeth February 3, 2010

I’m 29 years old and had my first child at 28. For us, it was the absolute perfect time. I had my time to be single and carefree, my hubs and I had some time to be married for a few years, but I’m still young enough to run around after him, which is a workout all on its own. :) I think that if I had been older if I had my first kid, the pregnancy would have been more challenging, and it would be an even bigger shock to the system because I would have been even more set in my ways.

That being said, I think that it’s all relative. My husband and I had been together for 9 years (married 3) before we had our first son. We come from small towns and we were the last of our friends from “home” to have a baby. We now live in Chicago and we are the youngest parents we know. So go figure. Every age is a good age to have kids. I’m curious what is prompting this!

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160 Mellissa February 3, 2010

What a great post and the comments are awesome- no judging or cattiness!

I will be 29 next week and am very undecided on kids, if we do decide it will be after I am 30. I feel very strongly about no kids until after I am 30. I have grown so much in my 20’s and still have so many things that I want to accomplish.

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161 Krista February 3, 2010

I knew at a very early age that I wanted to be “done” having kids by the time I hit 30. Mission accomplished…I was 25 & 27 when my babes were born. I don’t regret the decision at all. I have friends who are just now starting families and my kids are pretty self sufficient at 10 & 8. I’m starting to get some freedom back and I have more money to have fun with now that I ever did in my 20’s.

BTW, we have the exact same blog post titles today (yesterday)!!! LOL!

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162 Beki February 3, 2010

I am 22, I love children and I want them. I am in school fulltime and working a fulltime job, so we would like to have kids now but its just not the right time. I feel we should wait until i am out of school and settled into a new career. My brother recently announced that he was going to be a daddy, YAY! That took the pressure off of us to have the first grandchild. While we make all of these plans, god has his very own plan. I think we will start in a year or two unless the good lord decides it should be sooner. LOL!

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163 thedelishdish February 3, 2010

I agree i like the ezekiel bread a bit more than the tortilla…but now i will have to try the english muffins!!

as for the kids debate, im in my late twenties and while i part of me definitely wants kids, I feel like there is so much more Id like to do (travel, finish school, establish career) before my life is consumed by them! but im def feeling the pressure to enter that stage of my life soon tho!

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164 Edan February 3, 2010

We’re not planning on kids, but if we were I would want to have them by 35ish.

I love children, but I have never really wanted my own, and I think the world is pretty messed up to be raising kids in it.

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165 Nikki T February 3, 2010

Fun question!
I want to have 2 kids and, ideally, I’d like to have them both by the time I’m around 30 (I’m 26 right now)…but, as a (slightly OCD) planner, I’ve learned that you can’t plan everything about life! And sometimes if you try, you can become dissapointed if it doesn’t go as planned…so, whenever I get my 2 kids will be perfect!
:)

How about you??

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166 Kelly February 3, 2010

DH turns 30 in September, and is convinced he’ll turn into a pumpkin if he’s not a father by then.

BUT…

I’m going to be 28 in February, and honestly, am terrified of having kids.

I am scared to DEATH of pregnancy and childbirth and newborns. I have no idea how people handle it. I’m scared, because I’ll need to work through all of that…and I just don’t know how anyone does it.

I know I just need to suck it up and get started, but it’s still scary to me!

DH and I are both only children, and while I’d love to have 2, I’m not even sure about going through the process for 1…so we’ll see how it goes. LOL

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167 Ash @ Good Taste. Healthy Me February 3, 2010

I’m only 22 and I’m not even close to wanting kids. I’m hoping it will kick in for about 30 (I definitely don’t want kids till then). I don’t really know if I want kids…but who knows. I just keep thinking how it’s going to wreck my body and then basically my life is over. My life becomes my kids lives. I know that’s very cynical but it’s just how I feel.

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168 Meredith (Pursuing Balance) February 3, 2010

I feel the same way.

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169 The Voracious Vegan February 3, 2010

No kids for me! I can’t imagine having to be tied down like that. It is hard enough with a herd of dogs! The life my husband and I envision is all about traveling, and that might include putting ourselves in fairly dangerous situations with our activism and commitment to the cause. Children wouldn’t fit in at all. And….to be honest, I don’t really like children!

Great question!

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170 krista February 3, 2010

I am 31, started at 18 and ended at 28–with 4 children.
My husband and I are thrilled with our family.
We love being young parents and we will have our “alone” time at different stage. I think to each their own, yet also think society norms play a huge part in society how people think they have to wait until they have done certain things. Back in great grandparents days they did not think like that -and still happy—–not saying either is better but we all have to figure out what is best for us and not be affected what others say .

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171 Jess February 3, 2010

Another “childless by choice” here. I’m 31, been with my husband for over 9 years, and neither of us has ever wanted kids. But we’ve been pretty unconventional about most relationship/family things, not getting married until we’d been living together for 7 years and doing the quick county office “wedding” thing.

I’m now surrounded by friends who are either: 1) wondering when their boyfriends will propose and what the ring will be like; 2) thinking about wedding planning; or 3) talking about getting pregnant. I never have much to say in those conversations, except to laugh and say “yeah, you guys know we didn’t do things this way,” but it’s fine since my friends are all used to me being “different.”

The only thing I can’t stand is being told, “oh, just wait, when you’re older you’ll want kids.” Some people still can’t fathom a women without that instinct, I suppose. Anymore, I just shrug and let them think it.

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172 Jen February 3, 2010

OMG Jess, you sound exactly like my husband and I! We dated for 10 years & lived together for 8 of those before we eloped (we’re 32 & 34). We’ve never wanted kids either and have never shied away from sharing that information when people ask when we’re having kids. Fortunately our friends and families have been respectful of our decision, but I still get the “wait till you’re older comment” from the odd person outside the family. What really drives me bonkers is the response from the medical community. My husband has been asking his doctor for a vasectomy for years now, and every time the answer is “come back in a few years”…then…”come back when you’re married”…then…”wait till you’ve been maried a few years.” His doc even suggested that he shouldn’t get snipped just in case things don’t work out between us – after being together for almost 13 years now! I have not been able to find a physician who would tie my tubes either…I understand they’re trying to cover their own butts, but at this point I’m beginning to feel like we are being discriminated against & being denied the medical care we’re asking for!

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173 Michele February 3, 2010

I’ve been getting those comments since my early twenties, and it’s so tiresome! I’m almost 31 and my boyfriend is 29. We have been together for almost 4 years and have no plans to get married. People think we’re insane, but I love our relationship and wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m still undecided about wanting kids, but if the day comes that we do, and we can, I’m fine with that. I really don’t like to set limits or deadlines on my life.

And Jen, I totally think you’re being discriminated against by your physicians. I think it’s hypocritical that women are sometimes considered too ‘old’ to be having children in their thirties, but too ‘young’ to make decisions about their reproductive health. Thanks to you both for posting!

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174 Laura February 3, 2010

The women in my family tend to have children later in life…grandmother – 40, mother – 35, sister – 35. I think it is brilliant b/c you have a chance to live your life for you through your 20’s and some of your 30’s.
I personally don’t want to have children. I am 33 and have never had the desire to have children. Maybe someday the motherly instinct will kick in, but I’m not sweating it…
Good luck!

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175 Cassie February 3, 2010

well if you ask my fiancee, he wants to be done having kids by the time we’re 30 (I’m 23, he’s 24). to that i say wtf?! haha. i am just letting things run their course – children will happen eventually. he should be glad i’m even considering kids at this point… i used to be a dog-only person :)

we just had a friend announce she’s pregnant, and i freaked a little bit. i’m not ready to handle this whole baby-thing yet!!!

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176 Sarah February 3, 2010

I’m split on this one. On the one hand, I’d love to start having kids before I’m 30 and be all done by the time I’m 35. On the other, I’d like to start after 30 and be done by 35. Then again, I could see myself having kids in my late 30s. But I’m really torn between the first two.

I’m not fussed, though, as there’s no baby-daddy on the horizon, so it’s no biggie.

Yet.

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177 Jennifer February 3, 2010

Wow! What a HOT topic! This has definitely been a hot topic for my husband and me for the past few months. I’ll be 29 in September and the plan, or at least my plan, is to start thinking about it next summer… but is that too late?? How is one to know?

A lot of people I talk to say that you are never “ready” for it. You will never have enough money, never have traveled enough, never have had enough fun, so you just kind of have to jump in and do it.

My biggest reservations come from seeing other moms. I know they love their babies, but they so often look so frazzled and stressed! I am already so frazzled and stressed!

My mom had me at 19 and I remember how stressed she always seemed. She didn’t ever (and still doesn’t) do anything for herself. It was always for the kids. My parents were very young when they had kids. They had five kids by the time they were 34! This was not always very easy for them.

I’m also very, very afraid of what it will do to my body. I work very hard to stay fit. I want a 6 pack before I have a baby bump!

I know this sounds superficial and selfish, but there are just so many things I am not quite ready to give up. I want the freedom to workout when I want to, to rest when I want to, to go to happy hours and out with friends when I want to. I also really want 8 hours of sleep at night!

So, as you can tell from this very long, drawn out comment. I have no idea when the right time to start a family is. For now, I am happy with raising my dogs! ;o)

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178 AGS February 3, 2010

Frazzle and stressed. Yes — I have seen that.

But what I recall from my Mom (and Dad) was their entire focus was on seizing the moment and having fun. They lived their life like that before me and my brother (they were married 8 years before my brother, 10 years when they had me), and they lived their life after having the two of us. I’ve always been impressed with the two of them. They traveled the world without us and with us on a shoe-string budget, and are still going strong now (my Mom went back and got her PhD when she was 50, and now teaches full-time — she always says that you can’t view life as stopping — just new opportunities around the corner).

This gives me perspective that life does NOT stop with kids. Change, yes. Stop, never.

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179 Jennifer February 3, 2010

I’m so flip flop on this issue! One minute I think NO WAY! The next I think I’m ready today!!! Yikes!

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180 Brittany February 3, 2010

I always had the plan in my head that I would be with someone for 3 years prior to being married at 25, pregnant by 26, giving birth by 27… second child by 30…. happy forever and ever…

BOY did those plans not pan out very well! LOL

I just got out of a 5 year relationship… and I am now 24… guess I will have to reschedule life… time to start the quest over!

Ooooo have you got babies on the brain?? Or perhaps Eric does… lol?

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181 Salah@myhealthiestlifestyl February 3, 2010

I would like to start a family sometime around my early 30’s…preferably the 30-32. I want to make sure that I have a stable job and home so that I can provide nothing but the best situation for my family. My parents are both teachers, but they waited till they saved up and were financially stable to have my sister and I so that they could provide for us without any problems.
Now, I am not saying I am going to give my kids everything they want and spoil them…thats not what my parents did and I don’t plan on doing that for my future children either. I want my kids to earn what they get (with a few side gifts every now and then) but for the most part I want to instill in them the same work ethic, morals, and determination that my parents instilled in me.

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182 Amy February 3, 2010

I married my high school sweetheart at 18. Had our first child at 20, second at 21 and third at 23. Now I’m 30 and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. All my friends are just now starting and I am sooo glad to be where I am in parenthood. Hubby and I are going to be only 41 when our youngest graduates high school. We both were able to finish our undergrad and get great carrers going, the only thing we haven’t done too much of is travel. That will come soon. I’m working on my master’s right now, so all in good time.

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183 Lindsey @ Eat, Read, Run February 3, 2010

We are grappling with this questions now in trying to make plans for the future. I’m almost 28 and would like to start trying by the time I’m 30. I think that is a good age, but am always nervous that maybe I should start now b/c you never know when it comes to fertility.

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184 Kara February 3, 2010

Until my niece was born, I never wanted children, but as another reader said, something clicked. I’m 26, not married, but in a relationship of almost 3 years. I do want kids, but I’m not exactly in a rush. It’s not the right time right now, but I would welcome whatever happens. I’d like to have my first by 30, but in to my 30s is fine!

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185 Jenna February 3, 2010

i have one daughter. I had her when i was 21….for ME that was way too early…i feel like we have grown up together. Don’t get me wrong i love every minute with her and wouldn’t take her back for anything, but for young girls out there I want to preach…LIVE YOUR LIFE FIRST! I”m not saying your life ends with childern but your priorities definitely change!

Have any of you been watching MTV’s Teen mom? I want to croak every time i see this show come on!! it fills me with so much anger….why are there no shows about young women DOING THINGS?? There are so many girls out there accomplishing things and doing stuff for the community and their careers…why are there no shows about that?

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186 Katheryn February 3, 2010

I had my first child when I was 23 and my second when I was 26. We’ll probably have one more in a couple of years. I’ll be 30. This has been perfect for us. I’m guessing you’ll find from the responses that every person and situation is different. There is no one plan fits all. Glad for that!

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187 Liesl February 3, 2010

I’m all about being an older mom…I don’t know why, but I’m 28 and would like to try with kids when I’m around 30 or so. I’m really enjoying being young with my hubby, and honestly, I think kids keep you young which is a great reason to have them when you are older!

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188 Lauren @ Eater not a runner February 3, 2010

Coconut milk in tea is SUCH a good idea!

The comments on the kid question are really interesting. I don’t think of myself as a “kid person” and since I’m only 25 I don’t see it happening for at LEAST 5 years, but probably more.

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189 LindsayRuns February 3, 2010

I’m 25, we are talking about starting next year, but I still go back an forth! Original plan wa 3-4 out by 30, we shall see! I can’t wait to have kids, but I only get to see my husband 1/4 of the year, I want to live our life first!!

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190 Kim February 3, 2010

Love the question of the day :)
I’m 30 and my husband and I do not want children. We just don’t see them in our lives. We get so much fulfillment from our hobbies and our alone time. Maybe that’s “selfish,” but it is what it is. I’ve said that if I get that maternal instinct at some point, I’d adopt. But, now, we have cats that we treat as our children :) I’m very happy with that.

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191 Lauren February 3, 2010

I would definitely like to have my first child by 30. That cuts down on age-related risk factors, and gives me a greater chance at being a fun, fit, active mom. :)

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192 Annie February 3, 2010

I’ve had the same issues with the Ezekiel Tortillas. They always seems to break whenever I actually try to use them as wraps. Just so you don’t waste them though, if you slice them up and bake them, they make really tasty pita-esque chips!

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193 Kristy February 3, 2010

I’m 22and from 18-20 for some odd reason (cough insecure cough)I was extremely jealous of everyone who was a “young fun mom”. Now – I’m so grateful that I didn’t react to my stupid urge. Kids do change EVERYTHING about your life and I don’t feel like I am ready. Kind of been thinking I might never be “ready” but I def want to finish school and buy a house, prob won’t happen before I’m 25 so after that maybe I will revisit the idea. It seems like the average is 26-28. I just read an article about how much your chances of conceiving decrease substantially after you turn 30. Something to keep in the back of our minds….

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194 Ashley February 3, 2010

I won’t have kids after 30. My mother had too many problems with me and my sister (had me at 30, sister at 33).

I’m 21 and refuse to have children before 25. There is no place for a child in my life right now. They scare the sh!t outta me.

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195 Christine (hot mama health) February 3, 2010

Well, let’s see…when I was in college, I wanted to be married by the time I was 27 and at least my first child by 30. I am 29 right now and I and looks like I missed both of those timelines…best advice…don’t move to NYC single!!
If my bf and I get married…I imagine it won’t be long before a baby is on the way :) I am happy with the way things have worked out though…Looking back 2 years ago there is no way I would have been ready to have a baby! In the meantime I’m a’eating lots of veggies and making sure I get my share of folic acid.

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196 amanda@thegrainsofparadise February 3, 2010

Oh boy…..well I have another B-Day coming in April and I will be 34 so I’m starting to stress. I never thought I would be at this age and still childless ( If I planned on having one…or two that is )
Anyway, I’m getting checked out soon to make sure everything is “working” okay…my partner is doing the same ( He’s alomost 40 ) Anyway, sensitive topic over here ( lol ) Where did all the years go?

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197 Jen February 3, 2010

Very timely question! I am 30 and my husband and I are thinking about trying next year. I never had a “deadline” but I guess in the back of my head “30” seemed like a good age. We’ve been married 5 years and just wanted to enjoy as much time with each other as possible traveling and enjoying our freedom for awhile. However, I realize there will never be the “perfect” time and I don’t think I’ll ever feel 100% ready, so at some point you just have to go for it. My friends and I have been talking about this a lot lately- as they are all in the same boat. We’re wondering who will pull the trigger first!

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198 Kelli February 3, 2010

I am 24 years old and have been married for almost 2 years to my best friend. I would like to have our first child when I am 26 or 27. I am honestly so excited and sometimes it feels like I am counting down the months (year?!) until we can start a family. My mom was 27,30, and 35 when she had myself and my 2 siblings and that seemed to be the perfect ages. Now that we are all out of the house my parents are still young enough to enjoy their “freedom” and the next chapter of their lives.

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199 Katie February 3, 2010

I was 33 when I got married and had my first son at 34 and my second son at 36. Now I wish I had had the energy I did when I was 25 but even better I had the financial and marital stability and experience to be able to provide for my children.

Some women regret that they weren’t able to do certain things after having their kids. I feel that I lived a complete life by waiting to be in my 30’s. I know who I am. I know I have no regrets. That will add greatly to my son’s nurturing.

Motherhood amplifies life!

PS: The Ezekiel English Muffins are the best I’ve ever had. The wraps not so much.

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200 Kristin February 3, 2010

Ideally, I’d like to have my first around 28 or so. My Mom had my older sister at 28 and I think that’s a good age but it’ll just depend how my business goes and how the search for a good husband goes…. :)
I don’t want to have any kids after 35, just because I want to get to see a lot of my kid’s lives. I envision being like a Sophia on Golden Girls. I want to still be alive when my kids are 60!

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201 Liz February 3, 2010

I am currently 41. I met my husband when I was 32, married when I was 34, bought our home at 35, had our first son when I was 37 and our second when I was 39. I had wonderful pregnancies both times. I was able to exercise throughout both while working full-time. I think I had my children at the perfect time . . . for me. I waited to marry the right man (who is also a wonderful father) and whether that happened when I was 22 or 40, it was the surrounding circumstances that made it right, not the number.

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202 Tracey @ TropicalHappiness February 3, 2010

This has been on my mind a LOT lately! I recently turned 29. Years ago, I thought I’d have kids at about 27 or 28. As I got older, that sort of shifted to 29/30. I got married about 9 months ago (dated for 10 years!!!). So I’m definitely very stable with my husband. 90% of me wants kids now! Ideally, I’d like to go off BC this summer, and start trying September-December of this year. I’d like my first kid at 30, and then my second around 33. HOWEVER, my husband is not quite ready for kids. When we discussed that timeline, it was scary for him, and he said he’d like to start trying NEXT year (2011), meaning I’d have my first right after my 31st birthday. So we’re just about 6-8 months different in our timeline, which definitely isn’t a deal breaker.
There is a tiny bit of me (10%) that is scared to have kids because your life changes SO MUCH. It never occurred to me before, but now that children are in my “close” future, I do realize all of things that will be put on hold when we have kids (like afternoon naps, traveling alone, etc). It doesn’t deter me from wanting kids, and I know that we’ll have a great family support system, but I am much more realistic now about how this will change our lives.

What about you Angela?????? Anything to tell us??? If not, what is your ideal time? Are you and your hubby on the same page?

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203 Melissa February 3, 2010

Yay for the moms who spoke up about having kids later. It seems that people I know either had them in their 20’s or are having them now- mid to late 30’s. I am 35 and still am not sure if I am going to have kids yet- my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. I still want to hike the PCT and start in a PhD program before I have kids- but if I do and it happens with my body- I will try in 3 years and see what happens. I am ok with or without and that is a nice place to be mentally, for me. Most of my friends that had kids younger are having major problems in their marriages and to me, a happy union with someone and to give back to this world is most important to me. I am a child therapist and see many kids a day so I get to make an impact either way.
thanks for your blog and for the discussion.

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204 Lisa February 3, 2010

I’ve been married for almost 2 years and I’m 26 but my Husband is 32.
I always said 27….so we better get working on it;)
Someone asked me the other day what are you waiting for?
To be honest I didnt have a good answer.
When you have a career, a house, a loving husband…why wait?

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205 Notesfromthegrove February 3, 2010

Looks like we BOTH have babies on the brain. My topic today was also about having a baby!

I’m thinking sometime before 35, lol. I’m currently 29, turning 30 in May. I’m confused about it. On one hand, I know I’ll never be totally ready, but on the other hand, I don’t want to rob myself of “alone” time with my husband. We got married in September of 2008 and I’m not ready for it to not be just us yet. That said, the thought of having HIS baby totally makes me excited!

So, I’m back at where I started: confused.

(My blog is private right now, but if you’d like to added as a reader, just shoot me an email: brentsgirl2008@gmail.com)

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206 Notesfromthegrove February 3, 2010

Oh, P.S. My husband is already 38 so that makes it even harder not to want to hurry things up, lol.

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207 Angelalovesfood February 3, 2010

I am 20! and the idea of having a child scares me (maybe bc I JUST turned 20). I would joke about wanting to have a baby when I see a cute little one in a stroller or in the arms of its mother. This is sooo going to sound weird but I had a dream that I gave birth! and that my baby was hungry and crying, but there wasn’t any food available, so I breast fed her. In my dream, that was so most precious moment for me, I felt like I was in the moment (the dream version of me). TMI haha, but then I woke up and I thought woah! maybe it isn’t so bad.

eeks.

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208 Mrs. Muffins February 3, 2010

I’m 22 years old and my daughter is 9 months old. When I was in high school I thought I wanted to wait until I was 25 to have kids. I have been with my husband since high school and one day, about two months before I got pregnant, I was late… so I took a pregnancy test. I wasn’t sure what I wanted the results to be but when it came out negative, I cried. I knew then that I wanted to at least go off birth control. We weren’t neccesarily “trying” but I got pregnant soon after.

I can’t begin to explain to someone that doesn’t have children what it’s like to love your child. I respect people’s opinion on whether or not to have children, 100 percent, but sometimes when I look at people and think “you don’t know what you’re missing!”.

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209 Rachel February 3, 2010

I don’t have children yet, but my husband and I plan to start growing our family in about 3 years, when I’ll be about 27 & he’s 28.

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210 jennifer February 3, 2010

I thought I might want to have kids one day, but as I watch my friends getting married and having babies, I realize that I don’t want kids at all. No thank you!

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211 Laura @ Backstage Pass to Health & Happinesslaura February 4, 2010

Very interesting discussion!
I always thought I’d be married by 23 or 25, and pregnant by my golden birthday – 26. Well, I just turned 28 and my biological clock has not started ringing yet. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years, and the Boyf and I are looking at houses, but we haven’t exactly looked at ones with room for a nursery, playroom, etc.
I agree with many of you that there is a certain pressure from external sources, and even an air of guilt about not wanting to get pregnant (yet).

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212 MJ February 4, 2010

I got pregnant at 19, when I was in college. At that time I wasnt even sure I wanted children because growing up I’ve never really been around younger kids and I didnt babysit. The first diaper I changed was my son’s! Thank god my boyfriend knew how, he’s the one who showed me :)

It’s true when they say a child changes your life…But in a good way! Now I can’t see myself without my little boy (he’s four). Let me tell you, life is never boring with a kid…There’s always something new or funny happening everyday :)

To be completely honest though, there were times when I’d be jealous of my friends my age who only had to worry about partying and shopping and who did whatever they wanted when they wanted. But those things cannot be compared to the joys of raising a child, because there are so many!

So at first I thought I was too young but as soon as I had my son and became a parent I knew it was the right time for me.

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213 marianne February 4, 2010

I am 36, I had my kids at 31 and 33. It worked out well for me – dh and I were together for ages too but we had a blast in our 20s travelling and just partying it up. Sometimes I think about how ‘old’ I will be when/if I am a grandma but that just motivates me to stay in shape and healthy so if I am old, at least I am healthy ;)
I think the right age is whatever works for your family.
I have some single friends who are now looking at adoption or in vitro because they really want kids but there is no partner on the horizon and they are in their late 30’s.

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214 Jennifer February 4, 2010

Wow, what a HOT TOPIC:) My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we have one child. We were 24 and 25 when he was born. I’m thinking any age is perfect because you make it perfect. I have to say the vulgar comments that come from family/friends/strangers about an “only” child are very challenging. I believe you should do what feels right for you, not what society thinks is right.

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215 Jenna Z February 5, 2010

Well, I’m a day late but I wanted to chime in and say my husband and I have been married 10 years (our anniversary is next week) and we are completely and blissfully happy without children and plan on remaining that way. It is my BIGGEST pet peeve when people use the word family to mean “with chilren” because WE are a family, a family of two (well, four if you count the cat and dog, which we do!!). I volunteer for many organizations, I’m a 4-H leader for one, and I can’t imagine how I would fit in all my volunteer hours with kids of my own. Why would I give up helping thousands of kids each year to focus on one or two? Seems selfish and pointless to me.

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216 half February 15, 2010

what do you think about half of each half

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217 Elisa March 15, 2010

Just found your blog today! Love it!

I always said I wanted to have at least 1 kid by the time I was 30, preferably 2 or 3 by then. Now, I have about 15 days to get pregnant if I want to have 1 by then. I admit, it depresses me, but hey, it is what it is. We’ve been trying for over a year and apparently God doesn’t want us to have them yet! I’m just hoping it’s in the near future because it’s KILLING me with every friend/family member that gets pregnant!

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218 Rachel March 29, 2010

I would like to be done having kids by the time I’m 30. I want to have them young so I have enough energy to take care of them, and are still young enough to do more traveling when they are grown.

I’ve done a fair bit of traveling already, so I won’t feel like I haven’t “experienced being young” whenever I do have kids.

I’m in a long-term relationship currently, and we are looking to get married next year and then probably start having children a year or so after that.

I’m 22 now, so probably around 24/25 we will start trying.

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